guilt

My relationship with masturbation began sometime when I was about 10 or 11, although it had been developing for a while. I was in the 5th grade, and we had, after much anticipation and fear, completed the dreaded one-hour puberty class surprisingly painlessly. Though maddeningly vague and cutesy, it did, thankfully, explain to me what an erection was — a phenomenon I had experienced for years, and that I was wholly convinced was a freak mutation unique to myself.

I began the process of discovering self-pleasuring in the summer before 7th grade at, of all places, a church retreat. A kid at the pool we went to was staying over by the jet where the water comes out, watching a girl. When I asked what he was doing, he said I was too young to understand (which confused me, because I thought I was older than he was), but he did say that it "felt good."

I'm currently 22 years old and fresh out of college. Masturbation has been a big part of my life for as long as I can remember, and it still is. I'm proud of my daily habit and am open about masturbation with my friends. It wasn't always like that, though — I remember being very ashamed of it as a child. I'd like to share all the notable experiences that I've had in my life that make up my masturbation "history," as well as those events that eventually led me to the healthy views on masturbation that I have today.

I was very young when I learned to masturbate, only 7 or 8 years old. As a young child I remember having frequent erections. I once got one at the doctor's office (in front of my mom!) when I had to pee into a cup for a kindergarten physical. How embarrassing. But erections felt good, and I liked to play with them when I was alone. I'd like to say my first orgasm was a memorable event, but it wasn't. At that age, it felt erotic to sleep with no underwear. I soon learned that rubbing my penis against the sheets felt especially good.

I knew about masturbation long before I actually did it, although I didn't exactly know what it was. For at least a year before my first orgasm (at age 12) I was looking in every medical book I could find to see if I could learn how to do it, and if anyone asked why I was looking through medical books, I covered it up by saying there was someone at school with a strange facial condition and I wanted to find out what it was. Well, that was kind of true; there was someone at school with this facial condition that made her face look all blotchy.

I began masturbating when I was about 5 years old. Of course, I had no idea what I was doing or why I was doing it, other than it felt really good. Between the ages of 5 and 10, most of the masturbating I did resulted from climbing the poles and using the ring sets on the playground. Some of my favorite sensations still come from climbing poles — but alas, I no longer need to do that.

Prior to beginning my life of masturbation, I had discovered my father's stash of "dirty" magazines. This was probably around age 10. I knew that I enjoyed looking at the pictures of nude women (more for intrigue than anything else at that point), but at the time, I didn't know what masturbation was, nor did I ever think about touching myself. My mother caught me looking at the magazines once and told me not to look at them. However, she didn't mention anything about sex or masturbation, not then and not ever.

I first discovered masturbation, by accident, when I was 11 years old. I did not know anything about masturbation, orgasms, ejaculations, etc. But I can remember how good my first orgasm felt, and I also experienced my first ejaculation.

I had previously submitted a JackinWorld Biography, but the story was unfinished — just covering early years in detail with a smattering of info from college on. I would now like to relate further on my college years and beyond. My freshman year was my first time away from home for an extended period. As a daily masturbator facing a situation of living in a small room with another person in a very large dorm, I was wondering what was going to happen. Well, my roomie was a jerk.

My first experience with masturbation occurred by accident. I grew up in a conservative and religious family, so sex was not discussed. I didn't even know what "wet dreams" were, even though I'd had them. I just didn't know what that stuff was in my pajamas in the morning. As for masturbation, I had no idea what my penis could do or the kind of pleasure I could have.