depression

I was born with a foreskin, and I loved my foreskin. I would play with it and fondle it, and it was my best friend. Unfortunately, because my dad was circumcised, he did not teach me the importance of cleaning the inside while I showered. I was at my grandmothers taking a bath, and felt a stinging sensation in my penis. We went to the doctor's office when we got back to town, and he said I needed to schedule a CIRCUMCISION! So I went in, had it done, and then the nurse came in to check it out.

I began the process of discovering self-pleasuring in the summer before 7th grade at, of all places, a church retreat. A kid at the pool we went to was staying over by the jet where the water comes out, watching a girl. When I asked what he was doing, he said I was too young to understand (which confused me, because I thought I was older than he was), but he did say that it "felt good."

I had previously submitted a JackinWorld Biography, but the story was unfinished — just covering early years in detail with a smattering of info from college on. I would now like to relate further on my college years and beyond. My freshman year was my first time away from home for an extended period. As a daily masturbator facing a situation of living in a small room with another person in a very large dorm, I was wondering what was going to happen. Well, my roomie was a jerk.

My nearly 9 years of masturbation have been plagued with misinformation. I keenly recall one of my early experiences: I was watching Saturday Night Live, and Dr. Joycelyn Elders was being portrayed, just after all the hoopla over her now-infamous remarks. At that time, I had just turned 12 and had been getting erections for some time, but was still uncertain exactly what they were good for other than embarrassment. Speaking with my parents on anything sex-related was, and still is, difficult.

About 6 years ago, at the age of 12, I discovered the many joys of masturbation. It was a regular night, and I retired to the bathroom to take a bath before I went to bed. I liked to take long baths; sometimes I would even read in the bathtub, but most of the time I just relaxed and let my mind wander. I retracted my foreskin, as my father had instructed, to wash my penis and prevent infection. This time the feeling I had was unlike any other — somewhere between an unscratchable itch and a pleasant tickle. I continued to do this, and the odd sensation became stronger, and more pleasurable.

I started masturbating around 5th grade. We had a talk on it in sex-ed, and I just had to try. It was quite nice. I was kind of a bad student then, and even didn't pick up on most of the sex-ed stuff, but this I did remember. At the time I would just make a fist and jerk away. I liked the feeling a lot. Then after a while something sudden would happen, and everything would be strange and I would stop. I later learned that this was orgasm.