guilt

My family lived in a large apartment building. At age two I became best friends with another two-year-old boy. Neither of us had siblings and we bounded around like brothers. We did everything together; as we got older we even went to the john with one another. No inhibitions at that age. I suppose having seen each other's naked bodies for years, at some point we began to explore each other and our small erections. At age 9 we must have heard about sex and decided to experiment.

I grew up in a house with two brothers (one older and one younger), and the interest in each other's penises was the source of much forbidden pleasure. While our parents were away we would often show each other our proud erections, certainly the symbols of approaching manhood. We would compare and fondle each other's penises, even though we had yet to discover the wonders of orgasm. Nonetheless, the experience was intense. Looking back on three young guys sporting their erect penises seems only like a dream.

I had finished taking a bath. The thought came to me about what the guys at school were saying quietly: "moving back and forth, up and down." I had a fine erection, and the opportunity was present for a bit of self-discovery. For me it was one of the finest discoveries of my life, and at that moment, it was probably one of the most powerful. It seemed quite natural stroking back and forth, and the pleasure of the sensation was surely going somewhere that seemed both mysterious and exquisite. The intensity of that first ejaculation was both memorable and physically powerful.

I found JackinWorld when I checked my computer to find out where my kids were surfing to. I've found many Web pages that were not worth a penny, but JackinWorld is different — it is simply excellent. It can be of great help to boys and girls looking for information on masturbation that cannot be provided in the homes. I have read many of the biographies of the month, and it seems everything has gone smoothly for every one. That has not been the case for me, although I have enjoyed masturbation for many years.

A year ago, if anyone had told me I would be writing my biography for a Web site dedicated to male masturbation, I would have laughed uncontrollably. By contemporary standards, my life has been remarkably tame; consequently, I couldn't believe anyone would be interested in what I have to say. In truth, I thought the same thing when I first replied to a JackinWorld Question of the Week (#183, about the ease of orgasm), only to find my response among the body of replies.

One year while on a family vacation I had an experience I thought you might like to hear about. It was a turning point that I think has affected my entire masturbatory sex life. I am now 37 years old and enjoy a great solo sex life without guilt.

I kind of feel like the guy in Castaway — you know, he painted a smile and two dots on a volleyball for a friend. Well, I was circumcised, so, erect, there's that smile looking at me. My Wilson to bat around and make me smile through the years. There's been a few tears, too. But when I think about it, it's been me and Wilson through everything. The way I look at it, when I ejaculate, that's Wilson speaking. He's spoken to a few people, but mostly to me.

My individual discovery of masturbation has been an absolute godsend to me. I come from a great family — very Irish Catholic, and not very talkative on the sexual front, but nevertheless a terrific family. However, a lot of things — in fact, 99.9% of the things I know about sex — came from my own "research," if you will. That research started with surreptitiously sneaking Playboy, Penthouse, and Hustler magazines into my house, reading them in the bathroom or bedroom, and masturbating like a maniac.

I can't remember a time when I did not play with my penis. It always felt good when it was erect and the skin tight. At age 7 or 8, a playmate joined me in this activity, but we did not do it to each other. Puberty came at about age 13 — pubic hair appeared and my penis began to enlarge. I heard boys in the playground talk about "coming," and I asked them about it and told them I had never done that. They said just to "keep on" doing it when I was playing with my penis and that I would get there.

Masturbation — what a wonderful thing! I probably started masturbating late in life. I was 15 the first time I did it. I had experimented quite a bit with girls by that age, feeling their breasts and and even masturbating them, although not to climax I don't believe. I always got erections during this petting phase but never thought about masturbating.