sin

I am past 70 now, but I shall never forget the time of my adolescence with its confusion, frustration, and pain — all of which were related to sexuality, a total lack of understanding about the changes taking place in my body, and specifically, masturbation. I grew up in a Christian home where sex seemed to be a dirty word. Actually, I never heard it discussed at all, and I suppose the silence was what conveyed the idea that the subject was something to be avoided. There was absolutely no sex education at all.

My relationship with masturbation began sometime when I was about 10 or 11, although it had been developing for a while. I was in the 5th grade, and we had, after much anticipation and fear, completed the dreaded one-hour puberty class surprisingly painlessly. Though maddeningly vague and cutesy, it did, thankfully, explain to me what an erection was — a phenomenon I had experienced for years, and that I was wholly convinced was a freak mutation unique to myself.

I knew about masturbation long before I actually did it, although I didn't exactly know what it was. For at least a year before my first orgasm (at age 12) I was looking in every medical book I could find to see if I could learn how to do it, and if anyone asked why I was looking through medical books, I covered it up by saying there was someone at school with a strange facial condition and I wanted to find out what it was. Well, that was kind of true; there was someone at school with this facial condition that made her face look all blotchy.

My wife and I are in our mid 60s, with two lovely daughters in their mid 30s, and have a long history of masturbation to relate. Masturbation — and my penis in particular — has played a major part in my life, from a very early age.

As a youth my penis was something I used to pee out of. Yes, there were times, especially when taking a bath, when I would look at and play with it. While taking the bath I found that I could make it move by using what I now believe was my PC muscle. No big deal.

I am now in my late 50s. As a very shy, timid, and withdrawn boy, with no confidence in my soft, thin body, the other boys' fun and games (playing with each other naked) after "lights out" in the school dormitory didn't interest me — not even their pants of excitement and giggles of pleasure ("ooh! that feels nice!"). We were 9 or 10 years old then. I never saw my penis erect until my first ejaculation when I was 12.

I've long wanted to talk about masturbating. The problem is that in my society (South Africa), it's regarded as either childish or perverse (or both!). Only two people I know have admitted that they enjoy this activity, and even they tend to shrug it off as something to do between sexual encounters. Now, we know that masturbation is something quite different to sexual intercourse.

I was about 12 years old when a school friend introduced me to masturbation. When I was at his house for a visit, he showed me his penis, and he had an erection. I had never seen an erect penis before, but suddenly also my penis became erect. I don't remember that I ever had an erection at all before then. He showed me what you can do with your penis, and he told me that when I stroke my penis a white liquid will come out, which would be that stuff children are made with, and it will feel great.

I found JackinWorld when I checked my computer to find out where my kids were surfing to. I've found many Web pages that were not worth a penny, but JackinWorld is different — it is simply excellent. It can be of great help to boys and girls looking for information on masturbation that cannot be provided in the homes. I have read many of the biographies of the month, and it seems everything has gone smoothly for every one. That has not been the case for me, although I have enjoyed masturbation for many years.

I am a 53-year-old man living in the U.K. I have been a regular (perhaps even a compulsive) masturbator all my life. However, I have also had a continual struggle to reconcile my feelings of guilt, the condemnation of my church, and the disinformation from my guardians with the pleasure I have derived from this universal activity.