Self-taught

I began masturbating when I was about 5 years old. Of course, I had no idea what I was doing or why I was doing it, other than it felt really good. Between the ages of 5 and 10, most of the masturbating I did resulted from climbing the poles and using the ring sets on the playground. Some of my favorite sensations still come from climbing poles — but alas, I no longer need to do that.

When I was 8 or 9, I saw my first Playboy. A school buddy of mine had a bunch of them under his bed, and we would look at them together, although at the time, I didn't equate masturbation directly with sexual arousal. We never masturbated together (that I can remember) or even saw each other nude. It was around this time as well that I started enjoying looking at both the male and female bodies naked. While I never got an erection from a guy then (I did from women), I always enjoyed walking past the shower in the locker room to see if someone was in there and showering without their trunks on.

When I was about 10, I discovered that touching my penis and rubbing it was called masturbation. I grew up with a single mother and as an only child, so I never had anyone to "teach" me to masturbate or really explain the ins and outs of male masturbation. Pretty much everything I know is self-taught. However, my mother gave me the human sexuality textbook she used in college, and she encouraged me to masturbate and told me that all men and women masturbated. I was always pretty much a loner in school and never didn't have buddies to discuss masturbation with.

During the summer between 6th and 7th grade (I believe I was around 12), I had my first ejaculation. I was a little spooked at this because a few days before, the bottom of my penis had turned a black-and-blue color, and I was worried something was wrong with my penis. But after having my first ejaculation, I just attributed this to veins in the shaft opening, allowing me to ejaculate. To this day, I don't know if that is really what the cause was. I had been trying for weeks and weeks to have my first "real" ejaculation of semen, not just a few drops of "pre-cum." My first real ejaculation was actually not technically masturbation-related — it occurred during a "wet dream."

I was about 14 when I first got the Internet. I've never been much of a porn guy, and I rarely use the Internet for porn, except for downloading videos; pictures don't do much for me. I began doing research about masturbation and looked for stories to read about other guys masturbating to find out what they did and how they learned, etc. I used to feel guilty about masturbation, and between ages 14 and 16 I tried a number of times to quit, all of which eventually failed after two or three weeks. Being uncircumcised in an age group where 98% of the guys around me are circumcised, I was always a little uncomfortable with my penis. To this day I am somewhat insecure about this fact, especially when it comes to possibly being with a girl (one of the reasons I am still a virgin). One of my main research topics was circumcision statistics, women's preferences regarding foreskin, other guys my age who weren't circumcised, and masturbation techniques especially for uncircumcised guys.

It wasn't until I was about 16 that I really became comfortable with the idea of masturbation and the fact that I regularly masturbated and used masturbation as a source of stress relief, escape, and personal enjoyment. It was about this time I began actively discussing masturbation with an online friend. He was the first guy I ever really discussed masturbation with.

Around that age, I really began to experiment and explore different ways of masturbating. For a while, my favorite way to masturbate was to sit on my bed in front of my mirror doors and masturbate and dance in front the mirror. Around age 17, I began to explore other parts of my body to include in masturbation. I tried doing anal stimulation a few times, but it only ended up making my sessions worse as opposed to better.

I first tasted my own semen at age 18. I have never swallowed, though. I've done this twice; both times were using a yoga-like technique where my feet were just behind my head and I could ejaculate right into my mouth. The first time I didn't have any problem, other than not liking the texture or taste of it in my mouth. The second time, I got nauseous from doing it and just started gagging, coughing, and got sick to my stomach the minute it hit my lips. I then proceeded to the bathroom.

I'm 19 now and about to start my second year of college. I've never had a girlfriend of any kind, nor have I ever participated in any sexual activity with another person, so I'm a virgin in every definition of the word. I guess that makes me somewhat of a loser, but I've decided to make things like school a priority over sex and relationships. I've always been content with masturbation as my only sexual outlet. It is a wonderful, beautiful, exciting part of my life.

I look forward to the day when I might have a guy friend whom I'm comfortable enough with, and is comfortable enough with me and with himself, to openly discuss masturbation with me and masturbate with me. Even if that doesn't happen, I will still be happy that I am able to masturbate regularly. I also look forward to the day when I can explore my sexuality and my body with a woman and enter the wonderful world of sex.

My advice to everyone, especially the younger readers, is: Don't rush into things. I managed to live through high school and my first year of college without sex, using only masturbation. It's a very respectable act and nothing to be ashamed of. There is no need to rush right into having sex. Just explore the world of masturbation and enjoy it to the fullest extent — it is a wonderful way to get to know yourself.