howto

[Regarding the Cucumber/Zucchini Vagina Simulator]: Rather then boil the cuke, run it under hot water after you've carved it out with a fruit baller or circular potato peeler. The internal depth can be adjusted by inserting the end of a screwdriver handle or broom-handle-shaped object. Be sure to poke at least two small holes (with a turkey tie or straight nail) right at the end of the cuke, and make sure the nail did, in fact, pierce the internal tunnel.

After months of getting close but no cigar, I finally emerge a man who can have a "no-touch orgasm." For me to (finally) achieve this took nothing more than intense visualization (including all 5 senses, focusing mostly on touch). So here are the most important tips for you guys out there who have tried, but just can't quite do it.

I have been trying to figure out a way that's simple to masturbate. This way I found works very well, feels about 95% like a real vagina. You'll need:

I have a very helpful tip for uncircumcised males regarding smegma buildup. Smegma can have a strong odor that is very distinctive, and it can be embarrassing when in an intimate encounter. It's pretty well known that uncircumcised men must keep the area beneath their foreskin clean, but it's my understanding that smegma buildup (the odor, not the physical buildup itself) is not necessarily an indication as to whether your foreskin and glans area is "clean" or not.

A helpful hint for uncut guys of a certain age...or any age, maybe – I'm 71 and it's working for me. I was worried about how tight my foreskin was getting, to the point where I couldn't retract it. I had used handcreams and such to relax the foreskin, but it didn't help much. Lubrication did turn out to be the answer, but not the way I was doing it. This is my advice to anybody with the same problem:

The best way I have found to simulate the silky soft, wet, and most important, warm feeling of a vagina is this method: Buy a cucumber or a zucchini that is at least an inch and a half wider than your penis, and an inch longer. Boil it as if you were about to eat it, until it is soft, but not falling apart. Use a butter knife to carve out the inside to the size of your penis. Be careful not to make it too big or you have wasted your time. Insert your penis into this little organic device to be sure the size is right, and adjust accordingly.

One item I have not seen mentioned to simulate a vagina is a simple and wonderful ready-made product: a Hot/Cold pack. It's a plastic bag about 10 inches long and 4 inches wide by maybe 1/4" thick. It is usually filled with a blue gel. If you let it soak in hot water for a few minutes, it gets to body temperature. Then you can squeeze some lube all over your penis and wrap the "pack" around your erection. You can make a sleeve out of a sock or just use your hand to adjust tension. This pack makes a nice and easy humping or masturbation experience, and it's washable and reusable.

For this simulator, you need the following ingredients:

Some time ago I came across an interesting article on how to make a device that will simulate the feeling of a vagina. This masturbation aide was very cheap to build, as it only requires two items.

I'm writing in regards to the Mark IV Masturbation Device. It works great! I just wanted to let other guys know that I had to tweak a thing or two during construction to get it to work.