fantasy

I have been masturbating regularly for the last 42 years, except for the one-year period immediately after my marriage.

I live in the Great White North — Canada. I started masturbating when I was 12; I remember it distinctly. I had a bad stomach ache, and my mom said it would help if I went to sleep with a pillow under my hips to sort of stretch out my stomach. I did so, but I wasn't feeling so good and wasn't about to fall asleep, so I put the pillow between my legs and tried to fall asleep on my side. I then started coughing, and my pelvis started to rock back and forth, rubbing my penis against the pillow. I got an erection very fast, and I liked it so I kept thrusting against the pillow.

Me, my life, and my masturbation habits: This is the story of my life, or at least my life that started around the time I was 12 years old. Changes began to occur that would ultimately alter the way I would live for the rest of my days. Fantasizing, feelings about girls, and the yearning in my loins started to take complete control of my groin, and all the while during this change, I worried none. I realized I was starting to finally become a man.

Masturbation has been an integral part of my life for as long as I can remember. I started masturbating when I was quite young, around age 6 or 7 — although at the time, I wasn't specifically aware of what I was doing. On our school playground were several horizontal bars that kids would straddle and twirl around in circles. With my crotch pressed against the bar I found it quite stimulating.

I can't remember exactly when I began truly to masturbate, because the definition of masturbation is never quite the same when you ask different people. I cannot remember because my first sexual sensations in my opinion were unique. In my world they were mine, and in my world no one could feel the way I did. However, I can estimate that I began to develop sexual feelings when I was about 10. My parents left my penis intact (uncircumcised for those not familiar with the term), and around that age I gained the ability to fully retract my foreskin.

Just as a young teen may remember his first home run or his first choir solo, I remember my first solo with my sexuality. It's definitely something that will always be with me. I was in 7th grade at the time, and I was fantasizing about a new friend I had made. Actually, fantasy was only part of the act — I was also occasionally glancing at a Baywatch episode. At this time I was almost completely straight, and the firm breasts really did it for me. I had been getting erections since I could remember, but by this time I knew that I was capable of much more.

I was exposed to masturbation at a very young age. I started doing it when I was 8, but back then I had no idea what I was doing. I just remember humping the couch and having this incredible feeling come over me every time I did it. I didn't know what it was called; I just referred to it as "the penis game." My religious parents would sometimes catch me doing it and warned me against it, not because they thought it was immoral, but because they thought I was too young to be exposed to sex.

My first recollection of my own sexuality is about 5th grade or so. I remember having some sort of sore muscle in my arm or back, so I went to get the electronic back massager we had. I was sitting on my bed using this when it occurred to me for some reason I shall never know: "I wonder what this would feel like on my penis?" Not being one to wonder for long, I put it down there, and it felt good — so I decided to leave it there. After a few minutes, everything began to tense up and I didn't know if it was hurting or feeling good, but I left it there, and finally, I had my first orgasm.

I learned how to masturbate at age 11, during the summer of 1990 (I am currently 23). The interesting thing about my discovery is that at that same time, I was also discovering that I was "different." Years later would realize "different" meant I was gay.

I'm 73 and a dedicated masturbator.

Until I was 18, I had a phymosed foreskin — I couldn't retract it over the glans. Manipulation of the instrument was pleasurable but not entirely satisfactory. In the Army, on duty in Korea (before the war there), I was stationed with a battalion at Pohang, remote from the fleshpots of Taegu, Pusan, and Seoul. Although our neighborhood was beautiful, as so much of Korea is, we longed for a break in the peacetime Army routine. The men with foreskins had an escape option: circumcision at the military hospital at Pusan.