Me, my life, and my masturbation habits: This is the story of my life, or at least my life that started around the time I was 12 years old. Changes began to occur that would ultimately alter the way I would live for the rest of my days. Fantasizing, feelings about girls, and the yearning in my loins started to take complete control of my groin, and all the while during this change, I worried none. I realized I was starting to finally become a man. Though I have still yet to completely become a man, the most radical turning point during puberty has already occurred, the ability to orgasm.
One night when I was in 6th grade, I rolled over on my stomach as I always do when I sleep — but this time, something was different. I felt all warm and fuzzy, and my penis became erect. I had gotten an erection many times before, but it had never felt so excellent and erotic. I started to lightly rub my penis on the sheets, and my body quivered in ecstasy. I started to lightly hump, and I continued getting harder and harder the longer I went. It felt so excellent, I just continued without even thinking about it. The image of a nude woman with large breasts under me developed in my mind, and I felt like I was floating on air. I started to lightly moan, and my heart sped up and my breathing grew faster and faster. I suddenly convulsed and a liquid came shooting out of my penis. At first, I just lay there and continued to float in the rapture of my first orgasm, but about a minute later I got worried about having made the mess, so I cleaned it up. I felt so grown up and so manly and masculine — I felt like nothing could stop me now. Not to my surprise, no one has stopped me yet!
Many times my mom has interrupted me, yelling from downstairs and telling me to do something. But every single time, and as it is right now, I still reply with some lame excuse about how "I'm about to get into the shower," or, "I'm changing." I'd like to talk to my dad about masturbation, and I'm very close, but I still have yet to build up enough courage. I found out one day from my mom while she was making their bed that my dad masturbates almost every night and doesn't clean it up and how gross it is. Well, I didn't agree with how gross it was, but I did look under the sheets later that day — and sure enough, there was a large spot where he lies every night. I feel a bit more confidant about talking about it with my father now, but I still haven't broken the barrier of just plain bringing up the subject.
Another difficulty I've had is that I've desensitized myself; it takes me a while to orgasm. I began to wonder if my sesnation would ever come back, but it hasn't yet and I don't think it will. When I discovered the miraculous ability to masturbate, I started to hump things, mainly my pillow. I eventually grew very raw from this, sometimes so raw that it hurt to walk because my penis would rub against my underwear or my pants. Before I masturbated I would strip down, so as I was humping I could turn my head and watch myself hump, because it has always helped me to orgasm I'd I'm watching someone inducing one. Well, I would start to hurt and go raw, but this would always happen when I was approaching orgasm, so I would just continue without thinking about it because it felt so good. I didn't want to stop, stand up, and start manually pumping away, because I would much rather simulate a sexual position while masturbating. This of course led to extreme rawness and I would have to not masturbate for almost a week to let it heal. I haven't let myself get raw in a while, though, because I've discovered ways to prevent rawness.
When I first started masturbating, I usually humped a pillow to get off at night, but when I would get out of bed to clean it up, I would find blood-colored semen. I immediately thought, "I won't be able to have any children." I was officially freaked out for the longest time about my reproduction capabilities after that. Well, when I found JackinWorld a couple months ago, I discovered that semen can be many different colors, including dark brown (it turned out to not be red like blood).
The turning point in my masturbation life was when I discovered ways to hump something to orgasm. I had started out humping a pillow, but I eventually went raw so I decided I'd need some way to make it easier on my package. I tried tissues, which worked for a while, but I would always rub through before reaching climax. I needed something I wouldn't have to worry about breaking through. One day while searching through my parent's bathroom closet for something, I stumbled upon my father's stash of about 15 condoms. I've taken a couple and used them when I hump something. They're strong enough to last but soft enough on the inside so I won't go raw. And recently I tried using a banana peel after warming it in the microwave. It felt so realistic (or at least what I think is realistic) and satisfying. My only problem was that the banana peel wasn't quite long enough. I've also discovered a way to place my penis in between mattresses and humping away. I usually try to use a condom if I have access to one because they work the best. The second best is a lubricated sandwich bag. The other technique, which I learned at JackinWorld, was a toilet seat. I place my penis in between the bowl and the seat (not the cover), and I hump away and float into a world of ecstasy. My penis slides in and out with ease, and even though you wouldn't expect it, this creates a beautiful orgasm. For the most part, though, when I don't have the time to prepare for a pillow or "mattress sandwich," I just masturbate in the shower because it's clean, fast, and the warm water feels amazing.
I'm slightly afraid to talk with my family about masturbation, but my guy friends and even one of my girl friends and I talk so openly about it. When one of my guy friends and I were in 7th grade, he spent the night. We both had discovered the gift of orgasms and were already talking about it so much during the night that we both got extremely horny. We both stripped down and masturbated in front of each other. Then we both humped our pillows, and I believe we also both masturbated again in front of each other. About two years ago, though, he told me he regretted it, but I think he just started to feel like it was a homosexual thing to do and he got embarrassed. I haven't told him, but even now I would still like to do that again because we both had so much fun with ourselves in front of each other, and I felt like it was a bonding experience. We became better friends afterwards because of it.
I still like to hump things because I feel it lets out my urges for sexual intercourse. I masturbate mainly in the shower now, though, because I lead such a busy life that I rarely have enough time even to sleep. For the most part I masturbate once a day, but lately I have been masturbating more often, possibly because my body has been producing more testosterone lately. What can I say? We're made to masturbate — that's my motto.
I personally really enjoy and like my penis. It's larger than average, around 7 1/2 inches, rarely 8 inches (only when I'm extremely horny), with a 5-inch circumference, and I love every minute I spend with it! Although, from what my girl friend has told me, a vagina is not very wide at all to begin with, and she says the idea of something as big as me going inside of her would hurt. I feel more masculine or powerful over other guys because of my penis size (it gives me sense of confidence), which mostly compensates for my body itself (6 feet 2 inches, 150 pounds, and not very muscular). Though when I think of what my girl friend has said, I feel almost scared to actually have intercourse when I get married because I don't want to hurt my wife.
My techniques have matured as I've gotten older; I'm more aware of when I'm going to climax and can control it more, I'm more aware of when I need to stop if I'm rubbing myself raw, I'm more in tune with how my body responds to different techniques, and I feel more comfortable just lying on my bed, nude, and pumping away at myself.
This autobiography does no justice to explaining my masturbation life or how I feel about it. I'm sure that any man or woman who reads this will agree with me that the power of an orgasm cannot be described by words. It's indefinable, sure; for males it is when the semen is ejaculated through the urethra, but the sensation is something completely different. The sensation is not of this world, it is not scientific, nor can it be explained through charts or graphs. My orgasm is a world unto itself, and any man or woman who reads this will agree that their orgasms are personal and special just to themselves. Quivering, moaning, and sweating can help explain what happens during an orgasm, but the stir itself of semen being ejected from the end of my penis is my individual sensation, and probably not identical to any other man's.
