For some reason, a great many people assumed this Question referred to sharing masturbation with a same-sex friend, even though it was entirely gender-neutral. Perhaps this stems from a deep-seated feeling that any form of masturbation — even solo — is somehow intrinsically a "gay" activity. About a third of readers reported being straight but nevertheless turned on by the idea of masturbating with people of the same sex. Many of these people (mostly male) said that even though they have girlfriends or wives, they still enjoy masturbating with same-sex friends. For some, this enjoyment continues from their teens into adulthood alongside opposite-sex romances and marriages.]
The closest my boyfriend and I have ever gotten, emotionally and physically, is when we masturbate each other. We don't "do" it to each other at the same time, but wait for one to orgasm and then go on to the other after cleaning up. When I am masturbating him, I am imagining how good it must feel. It seems so much easier for a guy to reach climax than a girl, and it just looks like so much fun! When he is masturbating me, I have to think of my emotions and how it feels "down there" in order to achieve orgasm. However, I am highly turned on the whole time, and we're both perfectly in tune with each other.
- age 15, Ohio (female)
This Week's Wackiest Response:
I'd probably be thinking of dolphins splashing and being free with ping-pong tables gently brushing the hairs of Barbra Streisand's huge nose.
- age 14, Florida
I'd be thinking, "If I were a girl, how would I touch myself?" I already know what feels good to me, but I wouldn't know what feels good to her. Most likely, I'd ask to see what she likes. Then I could think of other things, such as what would she would do in return for me.
- age 17, New Jersey
I would be thinking about making it the most pleasurable masturbatory experience of their life. I'd hope they wanted to return the favor!
- age 34, Texas
If I were masturbating someone, I'd be thinking of how sexy that person is and how good it feels to masturbate them. If I were being masturbated, I would be thinking of having sex with them and penetrating them.
- age 16, California
I would be thinking about the wonderful pleasure involved in mutual masturbation, one of the greatest expressions of love between consenting adults, especially when the woman is menstruating and is uncomfortable about intercourse. Rubbing her to climax is wonderful, and having her bring you off is equally satisfying.
- age 47, Michigan
When I masturbate my girlfriend, different things go through my mind. Sometimes, I'm thinking about how much I love her and want her to feel good. Masturbating a woman can be an art form, or even a challenge, trying to make her have an incredible orgasm. At other times, I wish I were having sex with her instead of masturbating her, wanting to share our bodies more. Usually I'm thinking about how much seeing and feeling her turned on turns *me* on. But every once in a while, she takes a long time to climax. Then I'm thinking, "Damn, my arm hurts!" or "Maybe I'm just not doing this very well today."
- age 19, New Jersey
When I masturbate someone, I think about how it feels for that person. I actually stress out about making it feel as good as possible and being careful not to hurt them. When someone does it for me, I try hard to have an orgasm, because climaxing is difficult for me — I take medication.
- age 17, California (female)
If I were masturbating someone, I would be thinking about how much fun it is! I would love it. For some reason, it turns me on to the point that I could have an orgasm. I have done it before, and I still do with my friends. It has nothing to do with homosexuality — it's just a last resort for sexual pleasure. When someone masturbates me, inside my head it is all a blur. A sense of extreme orgasm falls upon me!
- age 26, Maryland
I have no idea what I would be thinking, except how awesome it would be. Masturbating with another person has been a fantasy of mine ever since I found JackinWorld. I am straight and have a girlfriend, but this summer I would love to masturbate with a longtime friend whom I know masturbates.
- age 15, Illinois
I've only done this a few times, mostly with a former college roommate. It was GREAT! When doing it to him, I was thinking about what would most pleasure him (or her, in the case of a couple of girls I've masturbated). I was really focused on his penis and wanted to look at it very closely. I also watched his reaction and let him guide me in what to do — how fast to stroke, when to back off, etc. I found great pleasure in seeing him enjoy it so much and thought about the bond it was bringing to our friendship. When he was doing it to me, my thoughts were very focused on the moment — on him touching me, on my penis and the pleasure I was experiencing, and on his excitement at seeing my penis and in masturbating me. It was almost as if our minds melted together, because he seemed to know just what to do even thought I didn't tell him, nor did he tell me. It wasn't quite the same with a girl — maybe because I wasn't as familiar with her "equipment," nor she with mine.
- age 24, Pennsylvania
I would be thinking of another girl having it done for her. That is my answer for both questions.
- age 17, Wisconsin (female)
I have already shared masturbation with my friend. I felt kind of weird about doing it, and while I was doing it to him, I was thinking, "Oh man, what am I doing?" But when I saw the ecstatic look on his face as he ejaculated, I felt kind of cool because I had given him such pleasure. He then masturbated me, and they were probably the best 5 minutes of my life. It's so much different than doing it yourself because you can just sit back and enjoy. I didn't think about anything but how good it felt.
- age 14, Pennsylvania
It would be great to give someone this gift, and for someone to give you the gift at the same time would be unbelievable. What a great gesture.
- age 40, Iowa
I would probably think (actually, have thought), "What am I doing?" Still, it is the weirdest, coolest thing that has ever happened to me! I enjoyed it a lot.
- age 13, Ohio
I would just be thinking about pleasuring the person as much as possible. I'd do so by asking them how they want to be masturbated and then following through with it. If someone else were masturbating me, I'd be thinking about the pleasure I was getting from having someone else do the work for once!
- age 18, Nebraska
I masturbated one of my ex-girlfriends. I got her off a few times. Then I would stop and she would grab hold of my penis and start rubbing away. It was a great experience we did more than once in a 3-day period. While we were switching doing each other, we would just concentrate on pleasuring the other and how much we cared for one another.
- age 27, Kentucky
I would think about that person. I am straight, but if I masturbated a male, I would be thinking of his genital parts, the same as if I masturbated a female. Likewise for me being masturbated. When I say I could be thinking of a guy, I would only be into the actual physical eroticism of his body, but not be attracted to him like I would be to a female.
- age 19, Florida
I would be thinking about what the other person would be feeling. If it were another guy, I would try to please him in ways I know I enjoy when I masturbate myself. If it were a girl, I would think, "Oh my god!" I would also be considering how she reacts to certain ways I touch her. If it were another guy, I would be thinking about giving back the pleasure I am receiving. If I were masturbating a girl and having her masturbate me, I would probably be concentrating on not ejaculating all over her hand and grossing her out.
- age 16, California
Considering that my best friend is circumcised and I am not, I would be thinking about how smooth his penis feels, and how much I envy him regarding this. If he was masturbating me, I am not certain how I would feel. It would depend on how good a job he was doing!
- age 19, Ontario, Canada
I would be thinking about what feels good for me and, in the case of masturbating another person, about making it feel good for them. In either case, I would be elated if it were another guy. I grew up without a father and without experimenting with other guys. This desire has been growing inside me to see another guy ejaculate and be able to participate in it — this despite the fact that I have been married and enjoyed sex with my spouse at every opportunity. I think it represents the male bonds missing in my life.
- age 45, Virginia
It depends. If I was masturbating a girl, I'd think about pleasuring her and doing anything else that would satisfy her. If it were a guy, I'd probably think about how much he could ejaculate. It would make me want to ejaculate, also. If a girl were to masturbate me, I don't really know what I'd think. It doesn't seem that pleasurable when a girl would do it, but with a guy, I'd be thinking about how much I could ejaculate and just go totally nuts!
- age 18, California
Answers to both questions: Why this didn't happen earlier?
- age 35, Finland
When I masturbate my girlfriend, I think about how much pleasure she is getting. I like to make sure she enjoys herself. When she masturbates me, I like to think about how great it is to be with her.
- age 17, Virginia
If she's masturbating me, I just lie back and enjoy the sensations. It's neat when someone else is doing it, because you don't know quite what to expect, and that can lead to some very unexpected feelings.
- age 40, Pennsylvania
My friend and I masturbate each other and we don't really think about anything but what we are doing. We just concentrate on the feelings and having fun.
- age 14, Australia
I would be thinking about how good I would be making the other person feel — how good it would feel to be touching her vagina. If it were happening to me, I would think about how good it felt and how hot the girl doing it to me was.
- age 18, MississippI
I've done it both with my cousin and a couple of best friends. When I do it to them, I think most about the pleasure I'm giving them. I try to make my hand stroke the way I would like it. I concentrate very hard on making it the best I can for them. It is a real turn-on for me when I feel them start to throb, and watch the semen spurt out. It turns me on to think I did that to them. When they do me, I think about how their penis felt in my hand, and try to compare how they are doing it to me. I watch their penis while getting stroked, and if they get an erection again while they are doing me, I get really turned on. I usually try to reach out and hold their penis towards the end. They always get an erection when I do that, and I enjoy the feel of their penis in my hand when I ejaculate.
- age 15, West Virginia
When masturbating another person, I think about how self-masturbation is so very intimate and significant — we need to love ourselves sexually before we can love others. I don't want to rob that person of the pleasure they could just give to themselves without my help. So, I use a technique that parallels what they might do. How do I know what they might do? Simple — I ask. So to answer the question, I think about how they might pleasure themselves during self-masturbation, and I just copy that in my actions. It is a wonderful expression of intimacy and sexual appreciation of that person.
- age 28, Illinois
Well, I'm not in this situation too often. If I were with my boyfriend, I'd be thinking about how much I love him. If I were with one of my other friends (a girl) whom I fantasize about, I'd be thinking about how hot she looks, and how it turns me on when she's turned on. It'd be very arousing to see her like that. She doesn't know I think about her like this, though.
- age 16, Iowa (female)
While masturbating another person, I would be imagining this person returning the favor. If I were being masturbated, I would want to reciprocate. Not much imagination, but a whole lot of fun.
- age 22, South Africa
It depends on who this person is. If it were my brother (I don't really have one) or just a friend, then I would feel great doing it for him and letting him do it on me. It would make me feel that we've shared the most private part of our lives with each other, and it would just bring us closer. If it were my boyfriend (I don't really have one of those, either), then I would feel very happy and pleasant — not just from the sexual sensation, but also from the feeling that finally we had made a big step forward in our relationship.
- age 18, California
I *have* masturbated another person — a female whom I was dating at the time — and received the same from her. The only thing on my mind was the additional safe, physical, and emotional bonding that was going on between us.
- age 17, West Virginia
Simultaneity is a challenge — it's hard to focus on two people at once (though sometimes it works out just great).
- age 47, Colorado
I've done this a few times before. I just try to focus on how good it feels to share this with someone. I've masturbated with other guys and a girl before, and I like doing it with guys better. The feeling is so much better, and I feel so much closer to that person after it's done. Mutual masturbation is a lovely thing!
- age 17, Kansas
If I were simply masturbating the other person and he was not masturbating me, I'd probably be concentrating on how to bring him the most pleasure and on his reactions to having his penis stroked by somebody else. If we were masturbating each other at the same time, I'd also be admiring his body (assuming I found him attractive, which would be the ideal situation) and noticing both how his penis felt in my hand and how his hand felt wrapped around my penis. If I wasn't particularly attracted to him, then I guess I'd be fantasizing about whatever would help me reach orgasm — the same fantasies I use when I'm masturbating myself.
- age 44, Tennessee
When I masturbate my boyfriend, I imagine that what I'm playing with is inside of me. Often my hand or oral sex turns into mutual masturbation or "69" because I just can't take it — and he usually can't, either. Half the time, we end up *not* having sex because we wear ourselves out on the masturbation part. The foreplay is always more intimate than the actual sex. Maybe that's why I enjoy it more.
- age 17, Maryland (female)
This happened recently. I thought about how her clitoris was like a tiny penis and how she pressed my hand to create more pressure as she climaxed. When she began her orgasm, mine followed with an intensity that was almost overwhelming.
- age 60, Texas
When I masturbated my boyfriend, I wasn't really thinking about anything other than what I was doing. I just wanted to make him feel good. When he masturbated me, I just thought about how good it felt and concentrated on that sensation. I was glad we loved each other enough to share that experience.
- age 17, Tennessee (female)
I have masturbated another person, and I thought most about what would happen if he ejaculated in my face! After a while, though, I started to enjoy masturbating him. Not to worry — he ejaculated onto my hand. When he began to masturbate me, I just lay back and relaxed, thinking about how great it felt, with not a care in the world.
- age 14, New Zealand
I just relax and enjoy it. I have done it several times with both males and females. Just relax, be yourself, and have a good time. That's what it's all about!
- age 27, Ohio
I have already masturbated and been masturbated by another person. All I thought of the whole time was how great it felt and what a wonderful time I was having. I have cherished that moment ever since, and I hope to have one like it again sometime.
- age 14, New York
I began masturbating with a close friend several years ago. We always think about making it a highly pleasurable experience for each other. We used to think that intercourse was the ultimate form of sex. More recently, we have come to enjoy the simple pleasure of a loving, gentle hand caressing our genitals. While I still tend to prefer a mouth on my penis, my friend actually wants me to masturbate him as often as possible. Although we are not able to have more than several good orgasms a week, we sometimes want to spend hours masturbating each other. In fact, just yesterday, our mutual masturbation session resulted in the most powerful orgasm I've had in a long time.
- age 47, Hawaii
I would be ruminating over how what I'm doing seems magical, and yet so ordinary.
- age 15, New Hampshire
If I'm masturbating a guy, I usually wonder whether I'm going fast or hard enough. If the man is masturbating me, I usually have to think of a woman to orgasm. I'm not gay, but let's admit that women are beautiful! If I'm with someone I love, I think of him and his penis entering my vagina. That usually gives me an orgasm for a least a minute, which isn't bad!
- age 19, Colorado (female)