For me, it's more a matter of show than tell. Back when we were dating and had begun to have sex, my wife-to-be asked me if she could watch me masturbate so she could see for herself what I liked. (It wasn't all educational; as she told me later, seeing me go at it was and still is a big turn-on for her — as being watched was and still is a big turn-on for me.) The only things I remember actually talking about were: one, where my particular "G-spots" are; two, not squeezing too hard or stroking too fast; three, not stopping at the first spurt of semen — masturbation is good up to and a little past the last drop. Mostly, I just did it, and after a couple more demonstrations, she tried her own hand and showed what a quick study she was. I should add that I took similar lessons by watching her, and now in marriage, masturbating one another is part of our regular sexual repertoire. I've got to pay my wife the highest compliment: She does me as well as I do me. I think she'd say the same for me.
- age 43, Massachusetts
This Week's Wackiest Response:
Leave the scissors over there!
- age 15, Florida
For a Web site that gives instructions on this subject, this question struck me as a little strange — but then I considered how badly it could go: One friend had his foreskin torn by an over-enthusiastic girlfriend. Personally, I prefer to be propped up against the person, so that they are reaching around me from behind. The grip feels more natural if it simulates my own hold. Gently closing their hand around the shaft, they should concentrate on using my foreskin to glide up over the glans and back down. It's all very simple, really, but I would probably ask them to use a loose grip rather than strangle the life out of the thing. I would also ask them to begin with quite slow and deliberate strokes, while warning them not to yank my foreskin all the way down in a sharp (and potentially painful) manner. Their other hand should play with my nipples, my navel hair, or my testicles (a combination is preferable). As long as they get these details right, there's no reason why things should go wrong.
- age 21, United Kingdom
I would have the person sit behind me, my backside in their crotch, so that the angle would be just right. They would need to use slow and steady strokes. I have a lot of foreskin, so there is never any burning sensation; therefore, I like long strokes. With that, it should all go well.
- age 18, United Kingdom
I'd want him or her to rub me all over my chest down to my pubes with the free hand while masturbating me. I'd want to have lube applied to my penis and then my glans slowly stroked all around with the palm. They should alternate between doing this and fisting their hand around my shaft, moving this fist all the way down to my pubes and coming back up to my glans again. This should start off quite slowly, and then the rhythm should pick up steadily as I get closer to orgasm. Of course, when I finally ejaculate, I would want them to watch. What would make it even more exciting is for them to let me return the favor after I finish!
- age 35, Singapore
I wouldn't give any instructions. Having someone do it to me their way turns me on a lot more and helps me learn new techniques. However, I would want the person to play around with me a little bit — maybe tease me — make me hornier by doing it for a few seconds then stopping for a few minutes to play with my body. Whatever would give me the greatest orgasm is good in my books.
- age 15, New Jersey
Learn about my stages of arousal! Watch for the signs that my body is moving from one stage to another: the hardening of my penis, the darkening of the tip, changes in my breathing, stiffening of my body, rising of my testicles, etc. Speed up the masturbation if I ask you and as I near orgasm. Plus, a few nice, complimentary words would be welcome!
- age 41, Florida
I would tell the person to start by rubbing my penis and testicles to get me erect. After getting an erection, I would ask that they lube up my penis and start masturbating me. Not only would I ask that they stroke my penis, but also play with my testicles because it makes it feel extremely more pleasurable. As they are stroking and rubbing me, I would ask them to rub my anus with their hand or a toy because it intensifies the feeling of pleasure. Nearing orgasm, I would ask them to rub the tip of my penis because that feels the best, and that they squeeze my testicles, because that seems to intensify the orgasm every time and I ejaculate more that way.
- age 22, New Jersey
I would like them to start by undressing me. That would help turn me on. As they are doing so, they can use their hands to brush against my penis and testicles. Slowly remove my underwear. Grasp my penis with their whole hand — using complete, up-and-down strokes and making sure to come into contact with the tip each time. I would want them to run their other hand all over my body, chest, stomach, thighs, and buttocks. I would also want them to stroke my scrotum and the area between it and my anus. If they don't mind, they could gently stroke my anus and testicles, too. If they do all this they won't have to be stroking my penis for very long. The explosion will be forceful and plentiful.
- age 61, Oregon
The first time I had a friend masturbate me, I was too shy to give him directions and he was too rough on me. I climaxed eventually, but then when I did him, he guided me to make it feel better to him. So I got the point. The next time, I told him to slow down, do it more gently, and to concentrate on the part of my penis just below the head where it feels best. Then as I started to feel better and better, I told him to speed up and to use shorter strokes. When I was about to ejaculate, I told him to avoid touching the head, as that is too sensitive for me. This time, I had a great orgasm and told him so. He looked pleased. I certainly was! From then on, I never hesitated to give directions, but I have found that after one or two such sessions, my friends would get the hang of it and I would seldom have to tell them to do anything differently.
- age 21, West Virginia
I think the joy of someone masturbating me would be that they *wouldn't* do it the same way I would. If they did, what would be the fun of them doing it? Therefore, I'd let them try some different things to see if any of them are as good or better than what I've been doing for years. If worse comes to worst, I would just instruct them to turn their hand around so their thumb is facing me, make a fist, and bob up and down — simple, really.
- age 16, California
Treat my penis as you would a ripe banana — don't squeeze too hard. Grip it just tightly enough so the loose skin on my penis slides over the head a little bit, but not so far that it stretches the skin too tightly. Pay attention to my testicles, too. Fondle them a little along with the ridge that runs from my scrotum to my anus. Lube would be nice, but not necessary. Keep pumping at a slow, steady rate, and above all, don't stop when I start ejaculating. In fact, speed up a little bit then, and finally, stop a few seconds after I finish ejaculating. If they don't mind, a finger inserted into my anus would be an added bonus.
- age 26, Oregon
I would first ask them to caress, stroke, or rub my penis in any way they choose, or to fondle my foreskin just to tease me and get my seminal juices flowing. Then I would ask them to grip my penis gently, and make thorough movements up and down the shaft, slowly at first, while encouraging them to hold or caress my testicles with their other hand. I would ask the person to look at me and talk to me during the masturbation, as I would find that intensely erotic. As I get more excited, I would ask them to move faster up and down, with occasional wrist rotation. I would tell them to continue pulling gently up and down and tightening their grip as I ejaculate, eventually slowing down after ejaculation. That sounds like the perfect method for someone masturbating me.
- age 17, Ireland
Simple — don't squeeze too hard and don't stop, even when I'm ejaculating. While in the moment, stay in the moment.
- age 39, Massachusetts
"Just take your time, and start on my nipples. Oh, yes — the dildo is in the top drawer."
- age 43, California (female)
I would have the person stand behind me. I'd take their hand, with my hand on top of it, and start the motion. That way, the strokes would be just right and they could get the rhythm just right.
- age 15, Connecticut
First, that person would have to be someone I trust completely, someone with whom I have discussed masturbation, and who has seen me naked and aroused before this occasion. Ideally, this person would have seen me masturbate previously, thus being aware of what I prefer. I would ask that person to relax and to take as much time as he or she would need. I would ask for varied stroking techniques and pressure, and to make use of my generous pre-come — combined with a little water from a spray bottle — to thoroughly coat my entire penis as well as the person's hand. I would ask to be brought to the brink of ejaculation several times, but allowed to calm before again being brought close to an orgasm. I would ask to have my testicles massaged, to have my prostate massaged by external pressure on my perineum, and to have some of my pre-come applied to my erect nipples. I would want my friend to be comfortable with my facial expressions, my vocalizations, and my semen on his or her hand when I finally ejaculate.
- age 62, Michigan
If someone were about to masturbate me I would say just to go at it. If they got going too fast, I would have them slow down or stop altogether — ideally, this could go on for at least 15 minutes!
- age 13, Pennsylvania
I would ask him to go slowly. When the excitement of the moment begins to build, many men get exceedingly fast and thrusting with their hand movements, but movements that are steady and smooth are the ones that get me off best.
- age 22, Tennessee (female)
Being uncircumcised, I would show them how I like my foreskin to move when I masturbate, and how much friction to create. If it were with another male, it would be easier to demonstrate, as I could show it on him, but if it were with a female, I would do it on myself. I've actually done this with another male, and it was by far one of my most powerful orgasms ever. It's just so nice to get it done right, but by somebody else. I must have gone all over his chest, where I usually just spurt out a little bit. That was kind of embarrassing, but if I were he, I would be pleased with myself that I could bring someone else that much pleasure.
- age 15, Florida
"Here, now grab in gently. NO — wait! Wrap your whole fist around it...OUCH! Too tight! And trim those nails, will ya? Hold it — NO! Stop! Now you're pulling out my pubes! OUCH! NO! Ah, never mind, I'll do it myself!"
- age 42, California
I think part of the excitement of someone else masturbating me would be the differences between techniques. If it were a guy, I'd like to experience how he feels when he masturbates and have a little bit of a change from my routine. To me, that's why getting masturbated is so exciting.
- age 16, Ontario, Canada
Slowly; full strokes with a light touch; feel me all over. Explore it all. Use an easy, yet firm grip. Ahhhhhh... That's perfect!
- age 45, California
I would have her start by kneading the base of my shaft slowly to get the juices flowing. After visible amounts of "pre-cum" coat the underside of my penis, I would tell her to rub the fluid all over the head while fondling my testicles. Then she could cup my testicles in her palm and roll them gently against each other for a while. If I hadn't ejaculated by then, I would request that she lubricate my penis and testicles, and rub the head all over her breasts and nipples. I would then ask her to rub my testicles with her breasts, and to massage my buttocks. Then I would have her stroke the shaft hard and fast while she rubs my penis all over her body as she sticks a finger into my anus. Finally, I would allow myself to reach orgasm, and ejaculate all over her nipples.
- age 17, Missouri
Wrap your bottom 3 fingers tightly around my shaft, and use your forefinger and thumb more loosely to glide over my glans. Stroke me slowly at first, and then gradually, faster and faster until I have my orgasm. Then get a towel and clean me up.
- age 21, Canada
I would ask for concentration on my scrotum, since my testes are extremely sensitive to touch and massage. I would also tell them to drag my foreskin up and down over the head of my penis so that it would go from fully drawn back (so that I look circumcised) to completely covering and hiding the tip of my erect penis. The combination of these two would probably give me a very quick, but extremely intense orgasm with large volume of ejaculate.
- age 15, Singapore
I would instruct them to go slowly. I've had someone try to do this too fast and it didn't work well. I found it much more pleasurable when they slowed down to a nice pace. It was more comfortable, definitely more sensual, and I had a nice orgasm.
- age 41, California
I would suggest some favorite techniques that I found here on JackinWorld, such as the "Rosy Palm." I would also ask them to stimulate my scrotum and perineum, and to concentrate on the head of my penis. For specific movements, I would probably guide their hand in the beginning.
- age 17, Italy
First, I would like the person to be male and then the rest is easy. I would ask him to hold my scrotum in one hand and gently massage my testicles while the other hand lightly grasps my penis below my glans and slowly masturbates me. This is how I do it to myself, but when someone else does it, it feels so much better and I will ejaculate a lot more semen.
- age 61, Colorado
I'm not circumcised and sometimes when I'm with a girl and she is masturbating me, she goes too lightly because she thinks it might hurt my foreskin. I would advise her just to go for it — don't hold back; it doesn't hurt. Also, masturbate me with my foreskin; don't just pull it back and masturbate as if i were circumcised. That's not what the foreskin is for. So overall, just go for it.
- age 16, Australia
Please use some K-Y Jelly, and work it into my penis and the palm of your hand. Wrap your hand around my penis and stroke it up and down. Do not go too far up because the tip of the glans is very sensitive. Tickle my scrotum and testicles with your free hand; near my anus is great, too. If you have long fingernails, use those as well. You can tell when I'm reaching an orgasm because my testicles will recede into my groin. If you gently hold the testicles to prevent them from receding, the orgasm is quite strong. Keep going, even when I ejaculate, and don't stop until I tell you to.
- age 57, Hawaii
Any type of masturbation from another person would be enough for me.
- age 13, Kentucky
Since I am uncircumcised, I would give very specific instructions on how to play with my foreskin. I like a firm grip on my penis, but not too tight. I would instruct my masturbator to place several fingers along the underside of my penis, and their thumb on top. They should then move their hand so that the foreskin of my penis glides off of my glans and pops back behind my corona. The stretching of my foreskin over my corona is one of the most pleasurable experiences for me. I would then have them stroke up on my penis, pop my foreskin back over my corona, and push it into a nipple over my glans. While doing this, my masturbator should try to milk my penis so that it secretes some pre-ejaculatory fluid. This makes everything quite slick and feels great. The masturbator should then repeat this up and down motion and play with my testicles to give me, the "masturbatee," maximum pleasure.
- age 33, Pennsylvania
I have actually had this situation happen to me. I told my friend to pull my foreskin farther back, instead of just past the meatus. Also, he should vary the speed at which he strokes my penis.
- age 15, Texas
First, use both hands. The other hand can stimulate my nipples, my testicles, my belly button, and my thighs (in that order). Second, let me know that this is getting you aroused, too. Moaning is good. Third, more than the previous item, talk sexy to me. Fourth, when it's obvious I'm about to have my orgasm, let up for a moment to make me beg you not to stop. Fifth, don't stop whatever you're doing until I ask you to. Sixth, don't feel inadequate if I join in by stimulating myself while you're stimulating me.
- age 56, Colorado
For starters, massaging the scrotum is probably the quickest way to give me an erection. Then, I would instruct the person simply to stroke gently, and then gradually increase the pace and intensify the grip, particularly between the thumb and the middle finger. The hand not stroking should definitely be cradling or caressing my testicles. Upon climax, I would advise the person not to just immediately let go and stand aside; rather, they should continue stroking and massaging in gradually decreasing intensity and letting all the equipment cool off.
- age 15, New York
Begin by gently sliding your fingertips along the length of my penis until it starts to get hard. Wrap all of your fingers and thumb around the shaft, with the thumb one inch from the head of the penis. Grip just tightly enough to make the skin on the shaft move with your hand as it goes up and down slowly on the shaft. The up stroke should stop as the ring formed by your thumb and index finger bump into the underside of the head, without going over the corona. As my penis becomes harder, it is time to increase the speed of the stroke a little and to allow the thumb and index finger to slide loosely over the edge of the corona. As the penis becomes rock hard and the color of the head becomes dark red, it is time to go for orgasm. Allow the hand to slide up the shaft so that the thumb and index finger sit just at the joint of the shaft and corona. Stroking from this point on is limited to just the corona and speed should gradually increase until you cannot go any faster, or until my orgasm. Once ejaculation begins, continue to stroke only the corona, but very slowly.
- age 58, California
Grasp my penis near the base, with your pinkie finger pressed slightly into my scrotum and begin stroking at a medium fast pace. As we progress, increase speed when instructed. This makes my penis feel bigger and intensifies the sensation of orgasm.
- age 17, Arizona
After getting a full erection, I will get on all fours with you behind me. Reach between my legs with one hand and stroke my penis slowly and lightly. With your second hand, cradle my testicles and gently massage them. Every now and then, take your second hand and with a fingertip, gently massage my anus but keep stroking my penis all the time. Switch from light strokes to firm strokes on my penis now and then. When I ejaculate, squeeze my member while stroking only the shaft until I'm fully drained. Keep massaging my testicles and anus throughout the entire process. Then I'll return the favor.
- age 51, Connecticut
I have always required extreme gentleness in my sexual encounters, so that's the number one instruction. Everything should be done very tenderly and lovingly — no rough pawing or jabbing. To masturbate me, I generally prefer to be partially on my back, spooned up with my boy, my leg draped over his hip. Very softly tweak and tug on my clitoris, or roll it between the thumb and forefinger. Lots of kissing and caressing before and during is also pretty important.
- age 20, Colorado (female)
My friend (boy or girl) would sit behind me, and I'd lean back into them. I would request stroking with the fist method until I say to stop (that's when I'll feel the orgasm coming). Then I'd ask for slow movement of their hand up and down, while also massaging the underside of my penis head, until I say to use the fist method again — fast — and I would then ejaculate all over! (We are both naked.)
- age 17, Norway
First and foremost I will ask to check his hands to see if he has had a manicure recently — and has washed his hands!
- age 45, Maryland (female)
First instruction — don't slow down when I'm going to ejaculate! That takes away so much from how great it could feel. I would also say to make sure that they vary the speed of stroking; I find that i ejaculate so much more when I do that.
- age 15, New Jersey
Stand behind me, and grasp my penis as if you are masturbating your own. I have done this to others before, and received nothing but praise for the technique. It also works for massaging and stimulating the scrotum and testicles.
- age 41, Texas