He told me that when he is masturbating on his own, he sometimes inserts a dildo in his rectum – but he refuses to do this in my presence. He says he would find it much too embarrassing. It's a bit sad, because I would like to share this with him – we share everything else. (And to be honest, I think it would turn me on!) Anyway, I'm sure he would love me to give him some assistance, but he's just too afraid and too shy to take this step. Why is he so ashamed of himself, and how can I convince him to overcome his fear?
- age 36, Belgium
A lot of men are uptight about any kind of anal stimulation, because we're often taught it's a "dirty" part of the body that should be used for only one thing. And it also has associations with homosexuality, which some men have a problem with. But the fact that he's mentioned it to you – and since the two of you "share everything else" (which is terrific), I'd say he's pretty close to sharing this part of his life, too. Talk to him about it; tell him it would be a turn-on, that you don't think it's weird, and that you want to make him feel good. You might also have some success by surprising him with a little stimulation in that region sometime. With some coaxing and time, I'll bet you can both learn to incorporate this into your sessions masturbating together.
Do you find yourself masturbating more often during some seasons than others? Why?
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