I am in a platonic relationship with a very attractive girl whom I've had a crush on long before we became friends.

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Question of the Week

If you're straight and use gay porn, how would you feel if someone found it?
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I am in a platonic relationship with a very attractive girl whom I've had a crush on long before we became friends.

But I am worried that if I continue to fantasize about her while masturbating I will not be able to be happy without having sex with her. I could stop fantasizing about her, but I worry about sexual repression – and besides, I find fantasizing about her the easiest. (They're all consenting-sex fantasies, by the way.)

Can I actually draw the line between fantasy and reality? Will my subconscious listen? She knows I want to have sex with her, if that matters.

It is very possible to harmlessly fantasize about someone you know, and yes, in most cases a person understands the difference between his own fantasy life and reality. However, there is a definite problem with getting fixated on another person if you fantasize about her all the time and objectify her (i.e., turn her into a sex object in your mind). It can definitely strain your friendship if your interest in her is becoming shallower and more sexual. Even if there is a chance you'll get together someday, it's just not very healthy to fixate on one person you know and fantasize about her too much physically. If you're going to do that (and it's not really a great idea in general), fantasize about a celebrity or a non-existent person. That way it won't hurt you or the other person down the road.

JackinWorld recommends variety in your fantasy life. If your fantasies get too focused and too specific, your energies can get misdirected. (I'm sure you don't want to turn into a stalker.) Don't let your thoughts get too "heavy" when you masturbate; keep it fun – that's what masturbation is supposed to be.