We both go to the same college. We have talked about masturbation and how we have masturbated with other males; I have always been into doing this kind of thing as long as we didn't touch each other intimately or romantically. I get the feeling he would like to do this me. I am wondering if this isn't a good idea because he is 5 years younger. Exactly how much of an age difference is too much?
- age 24, Pennsylvania
It's not so much a matter of age difference as it is a matter of power difference. In terms of their standings as peers, an 11-year-old and a 16-year-old are very different, whereas a 24-year-old and a 19-year-old are not all that different – even though both pairs are 5 years apart. What you want to avoid is one of you making bad decisions because of a power imbalance (either explicit or implicit). There's also legal considerations; in some locations, a 16-year-old might be liable for statutory rape with a younger person – but there are very few locations (if any) where a 19-year-old is not considered a consenting adult.
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I'm 24 and have recently gotten to know a guy who is 19.
