He found JackinWorld. (I don't mind – I encourage him to keep logging in.) But now he wants to masturbate with me and even sleep with me in my bed. I've told him no several times, but he says since we're not blood-related that it would be okay. Maybe he'll believe you more than he'll believe me – can you explain why it's wrong?
It's just not right for a father to masturbate with a son. Blood relationship has nothing to do with it (because nobody is at risk of pregnancy); rather it is a matter of ensuring healthy boundaries. When a child is growing up it's very important for his or her family to set boundaries on what's appropriate interpersonal behavior, as these shape the way the person acts with other persons for the rest of their life. If you were to masturbate with your son, when he grows up he might not have healthy relationships with his own children – he wouldn't have that strong, foundational understanding of what is and what is not appropriate behavior. It's these boundaries that keep us from doing things that aren't socially acceptable (or are even hurtful), and they're highly important to the way we function as a society. On top of that it's possible he could develop an abnormal attachment or fixation on you, and that could be really unhealthy at this early stage in his sexual development.
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I am a single man with a 12-year-old adopted son.
