No one — not even my wife, even though she knows I do it. I consider my masturbation time my alone time with myself, not to be infringed on by anyone else. This is not a matter of shame or guilt. We all need privacy and time alone — time to do just what *we* want. And in the same way, I — and others — take time to do things like pray, engage in sports, or just "contemplate our navels" in private and away from outside interference, I — and all of us — have the right to take time for ourselves to share with nothing and no one but our own genitals.
- age 42, Arizona
This Week's Wackiest Response:
My alternate personalities. They might be a bit surprised.
- age 15, Connecticut
A male shipmate, please — as he would almost certainly do it, too, and understand the urgent urge to emit seaman's semen from time to time. When I masturbate on board ships at sea I do it either in my bunk, where doing it is safe and undetectable, or at places I am working on board when dressed in my boiler suit after making sure I am out of sight of prying eyes, but never 100% safe from observation. Ejaculation can happen locked in lavatory cubicle, or when working on the bottom plates of engine-room bilges or perhaps on the pedestal of a radar scanner while others think that I'm fixing a fault up there. After a tickle-tickle with fingers through the hole in my boiler suit pocket, ejaculation of seaman's semen could happen on the inside of the suit behind the flies. If a shipmate ever should see by mistake what I was doing, and he did tell others, they would probably have a good laugh at me and say nothing. But I would still rather that nobody ever see me doing it — and, so would they.
- age 41, At Sea
I have a friend at work and we have discussed masturbation for many years. We have never seen each other masturbate but have both admitted to wanting to. I believe if this person were to walk in on me while masturbating, he would join right in and probably take over. My reaction would be: don't stop!
- age 27, Delaware
I wish my sister, who is 15 years old, would walk in on me. She teases me in front of our mom and even our friends sometimes about me masturbating, even though she has never seen me doing it. It started a few months ago when she was doing my laundry and there was a washcloth and a pair of my colored briefs with dried semen on them. She brought it to my attention in a joking way and I thought that was the end of it, but not so. I figure if she walked in on me it could shock her into shutting up.
- age 13, Florida
One or two of my old friends from high school or college days. I had always wanted to be more open about masturbation with them and also had a deep male friendship with them, including an admiration of their sexual nature. It may have been because sex issues were so private then; and also that I had no brother. Anyway, I am heterosexual and married, but I doubt that I would want my wife walking in on me — she has difficulty with that stuff. Nor would I want children, sons-in-law, grandchildren, or anyone else to walk in on me.
- age 58, Illinois
If I could have anyone of my choosing, I would have to pick my good friend who is a girl. She and I have liked each other for a while and we have talked a few times about doing things together. She has wanted to see me naked and see how big my penis is, so that would be the best opportunity. My first reaction would be to try to hide, but once I would see that it was she, I would tell her to come and join in.
- age 16, Maine
I would prefer that no one I know walk in on me while I masturbate. This would be way too embarrassing for me to deal with.
- age 45, Pennsylvania (female)
I hope I don't have to, but if I had to choose anyone, I probably would choose my dad because he's the only other male in the household and I know he does it too. That would make it less awkward just because we have the same stuff down there and he's seen me naked before.
- age 14, Texas
I would want my sister to walk in. I've walked in on her masturbating on many occasions, and it was the most arousing thing I'd ever experienced. Maybe she would find it arousing to find me masturbating and maybe even lend a hand.
- age 16, New Jersey
I would love to be "caught in the act" by my boyfriend. I often fantasize about either asking him if he would like to watch me masturbate or having him walk in on me. He has keys to my house, so it could possibly happen. Thinking about that as I pleasure myself makes things that little bit more exciting! We've talked a little about masturbation and the possibility of watching one another, but I still think that any planned action of this sort is a while off. Perhaps I should start changing my patterns and take to pleasing myself when he's heading around to visit — and then just hope he hasn't got any friends with him!
- age 20, Australia (female)
I would choose my aunt, because she is very open minded and wouldn't think anything of it.
- age 16, California
I would definitely choose my younger brother, who is now almost 12. I often see him getting out of bed, or coming out of the shower with a fully erect penis. I don't think he yet knows anything about masturbation. I would love to have the opportunity to tell him about how he can relieve himself and at the same time bring to an end to "wet dreams" and those embarrassing erections in the school showers. If he walked in on me as I was masturbating, I hope that I would seize the opportunity and show him exactly what happens, and how wonderful the feeling can be.
- age 14, Scotland, United Kingdom
I'd want an old friend that I haven't seen in a number of years to walk in on me. We were really close and shared a lot of quite personal things with each other, our masturbation and sexual history among them. I always wanted to masturbate with him, but couldn't ever cause it to happen. So, if he were to walk in, I'd keep right on going and invite him to join in!
- age 44, Vermont
My friend, who is really nice and fun to be around. I'm not gay, but I think it would really be fun to masturbate with him. I hope that if he were to walk in on me one day, he would join me. That would be awesome.
- age 14, Kentucky
I'm gay. He's not. But I've a crush on him. He only knows I like him more than my other male friends. I would like him to walk in (oh fantasy!), but if it actually should happen, I think I would be speechless at first, feeling embarrassed. Shivering delightfully, I would invite him to show his stuff and join in.
- age 54, Netherlands
It would have to be my father. I am very grateful for the way he talked to me about masturbation (and how it's normal) when I was 10. So I would feel comfortable if he walked in on me. If that should happen, I would ask him for some privacy, and continue masturbating!
- age 22, Florida
Most definitely my dad — I've always fantasized about his reaction to what I do. I've even tried (and failed) to get him to "catch" me. I'd like to see whether he would look at my erect penis (or try not to). Or, he might get turned on himself, get an erection, and perhaps join me. Ah, what a fantasy!
- age 17, Wisconsin
I would probably want either one of my brothers to walk in. I've seen my brother masturbate in the shower before but he didn't know I saw him. I think if one of them were to walk in on me, they wouldn't care. I would hope that it would open the doors for us to talk about masturbating and even masturbate together.
- age 15, Ohio
I'd either want my girlfriend (its nothing she probably won't see some day) or a boy I know who totally wants me (yeah, he's gay, I'm bi). I would be kind of embarrassed if it were my girlfriend, as she's one of the modest girls who would probably be grossed out by it, but the boy would probably join in with me!
- age 17, Canada
I know this sounds weird, but I would rather have my mom walk in on me than anyone else. She knows that I masturbate — I am a teenager, after all (and once I forgot to clear the Internet history). I think she would rather have me masturbate than to be promiscuous. She would probably go back where she came from for a couple of minutes.
- age 19, Oklahoma
I wouldn't mind if one particular friend of mine from school would walk in on me. He's openly gay. I am just curious, but I would love for him to walk in on me because he has hit on me before and I know he would sort of "take advantage" of me. However, I certainly would be okay with it. I would like him to finish the job for me, and then I'd help him out as well.
- age 18, California
My family has never been open about sex or masturbation, so either of my parents would be good to walk in on me, as they would see that I can find things out for myself. The other person is my brother (14). I'm sure he knows nothing of the joys of masturbation, but I don't know whether I should or how I should tell him about it. For him to walk in on me while I masturbate would be a quick way to learn!
- age 16, United Kingdom
My best friend — we often speak about "sex," but just in a joking way. I'd like to talk with him about it more seriously and I think that this could be a very good way to do so. I can't imagine my reaction; I think I'd stop doing it so as not to "hurt" him — even though it's not something that can "hurt." But, I'd care about *his* feelings.
- age 17, Switzerland
I wouldn't choose my best friend of 25 years, because he's heard me masturbating before and would stay clear; moreover, he respects my privacy as much as I respect his. Therefore, I would choose another valued friend, who also happens to be my masturbation pal. I have known him for about two and a half years, although we've had few opportunities for masturbating together. He would smile, chuckle, and ask why I started without him. He'd also join me just as soon as he slipped out of his clothes.
- age 63, Michigan
I think I would choose a former teacher. If it should happen, I think I would first be slightly embarrassed, but I think he would be cool about it, and maybe (I hope) join in. I consider myself straight, but I've always thought that it would be fun to masturbate with an older guy.
- age 15, California
I'd choose my best friend. Even though I am not gay and in a great sexual relationship with a woman, I have always had an attraction to my best friend and fantasize about us having sex. If he should walk in on me, I would not be embarrassed, but would hope he would take his clothes off and we would experiment.
- age 30, Florida
Nobody — I do not want to share my masturbatory moments with anyone I know. Some things are best kept to one's self in discretion and masturbation is at the top of my list.
- age 37, Florida
That would be my 17-year-old cousin, because he was the one who taught me how to masturbate last summer. My reaction would be to get more excited and I would ask him to join me.
- age 14, Texas
I would want my business partner — I would love for him to walk in on me as we were attending a conference or doing something similar. I would be tell him that he could either join me or just watch, but, that I would intend to continue masturbating.
- age 26, New Jersey
I'd choose to have my wife walk in on me while I masturbate. She becomes turned on easily by watching me and we could then masturbate together.
- age 24, Texas
It sounds strange even to me, but I'd pick my dad, because he *did* walk in on me once when I was 15 and it helped me to have one of the best orgasms I've ever had. I got up early that morning with a hard on, so I peeled off my underpants, stood in front of my bedroom mirror, and started stroking slowly, not sure whether I'd go all the way. However, I forgot that I hadn't closed the door all the way, so my dad felt free to come in to make sure I was awake for school. He stood in the doorway for a few seconds, taking in the view of me naked with my hand wrapped around my penis. "I guess I should leave you two alone," he said with a smile, backing out and pulling the door closed behind him. I guess I should have been embarrassed, but his visit made me hotter, instead. So, I started pounding in earnest. It took about 10 strokes to get to orgasm and maybe five minutes to clean up that mirror and the floor in front of it.
- age 18, Missouri
I swim at the Y almost every day. There's another guy who often swims in the lane next to mine. We're about the same age and both swam in college. Actually, we've almost become workout buddies and we talk all the time. Lately, I can't get the image him out of my mind — his chest, small hips, and the way he fills out his Speedo. I find that I think of him when I masturbate. Providing that he wouldn't freak out, I would love to masturbate with him — the two of us in our wet Speedos. I've never done this with a guy before, but he'd be the one!
- age 25, Florida
I would choose my dad's lady friend to walk in on me as I'm masturbating. Then I could have someone to talk to about it other than my dad.
- age 14, Ohio
It would be my boyfriend — of course, we have sex, and have masturbated together, but we have never "walked in" on each other. Masturbation has always been part of our sexual experience itself, but done intentionally because we enjoy watching each other. Now, I think, if he were to walk in on me, he would be surprised at first and then, depending on his mood or the situation, he would join me. However, I couldn't say for sure, since it has never happened.
- age 20, Netherlands
If I could have anyone walk in on me while I masturbate, I would pick my ex-boyfriend. We still talk; I love him and he loves me, too. If it should happen, I think I would be alarmed because he saw me, but at the same time, I would be very excited because I know he would ask if I would need an extra hand (or finger)
- age 18, California (female)
If I had to be walked in on by someone, I would probably prefer one of my male friends. While it would certainly be embarrassing, it would not be nearly as bad as being "discovered" by a family member or a female friend.
- age 17, Texas
I would love for my wife's younger sister to walk in on me. She would be shocked and surprised. Then she would have a hard time looking at me at family gatherings.
- age 30, Kansas
If I had to choose someone to walk in on me while I'm masturbating, I'd have to pick my oldest son. I've accidentally walked in on him so many times that I've lost count. It doesn't make a difference whether I knock or not, he never can get it put away in time before I come in. I hate it when that happens, but when I confront him about it he says, "Aw, Mom...you're too old to understand!" Well I hate to tell him...I'm not! I masturbate all the time and wouldn't mind having him walk in on me. As soon as he walked in I'd bring myself to a hip thrusting, screaming, orgasm as fast as I could. Then, before he had a chance to say anything, I'd say "And you thought your mother was too old to understand..."
- age 47, Illinois (female)
My kid brother — he's two years younger than me, but he got his pubic hair before I did, and he was the one who first told me about masturbation. We respect each other's privacy, but I'd love it if he should walk in on me, especially if it were just as I was about to ejaculate. It would show him what a good student I was. (I wouldn't mind walking in on him, either.)
- age 16, New York
Either of my adult sons — my reaction would be, "You finally caught me." Or, it could be, "Now you know what I was talking about when I talked about masturbation when you were much younger. It is fun; and even though you are happily married, just as I am, masturbation can still be a fun experience.
- age 63, Georgia
It would be my mom. I know lots of people shun incest and I do know everyone feels guilt after orgasm, but lately I've been enjoying myself by letting my penis slip out of my boxers as I walk around the house near my mom so that she can see it. I'd want her to walk in on me so it could open up that part for conversation.
- age 17, Pennsylvania
I would choose my adult son, as we have discussed masturbation over the years. He is educated, very levelheaded, and not easily shocked. If I felt any explanation were necessary, I would just point out that I am now widowed but healthy!
- age 82, Florida
I've always fantasized about having one of my male teachers from high school walk in on my during a masturbation session. I imagine that I'm away on a school trip and that I'm in my hotel room — naked, in bed, and masturbating. I imagine that he walks in and that I hadn't realized we were sharing the same room. He asks me if I'd like a "private lesson" and I nod yes. Then, he teaches me more private things such as other masturbation techniques. Oh, if only. . . .
- age 17, New York
My brother-in-law — 73 years old, in good shape, and in a marriage such as mine, where sex with the wife doesn't exist anymore. We talk about sex quite a bit, and from his description, he has a larger-than-average penis that I'd love to see. Mine is smaller than average, but still, it works just fine and I manage to masturbate about three times a week. He knows that I masturbate (I have told him so), but I'd love to have him watch me. I guess I'll have to work on him a bit more for this to happen. Wish me luck.
- age 68, Massachusetts
I would want it to be my father. If that should happen, I think I would ejaculate — possibly out of shock or reflex, just to show him that I can. He would also know that his son has the bigger penis of the two of us. Take that, Dad!
- age 17, Washington
I don't think I'd enjoy this situation, regardless of who it would be. Masturbation is a very private, personal act. I think being barged in on would make me feel violated and exposed. On the other hand, if I were expecting someone to walk in on me, I would be mentally prepared to show off. That would be a different story altogether.
- age 22, Tennessee (female)
I would want my grandfather to walk in on me. I'd be interested in seeing his reaction, as he's one of the few adults who will discuss masturbation openly with me. As far as my reaction goes, I think I'd stop stroking when he came in, but I'd make no effort to cover myself or move my hand. He's seen my penis many times already. I'm sure he'd have some sort of good-natured joke to make!
- age 17, North Carolina
Probably my one female professor — I have no idea how or why she would walk in on me, but I'd enjoy it thoroughly — especially if she were to help out. But I wouldn't want her to help by touching me, per se. Rather, she would give me different types of encouragement, such as being nude, giving me verbal confirmation of her enjoyment, or even to masturbate herself as well.
- age 20, Pennsylvania