Younger people tended more to watch or be watched by people of the same sex. Older people more often described masturbating with a friend of the other sex. A few people mused over the tendency to move from same-sex to opposite-sex mutual masturbation and watching as one grows older. Also interesting was that several people reported father-son episodes. These were described more as coming-of-age, collegial experiences than incestuous ones.]
Last month, my brother, who is almost 13, asked me some questions about masturbation. He said he'd talked to some of his buddies at school about it but he wasn't real clear on the details. He asked me if I did it, and I said HELL YEAH! We don't share a room, so he wouldn't have known. I explained everything I could about it to him, and he asked me if I would show him how to do it. I thought, what the hell, so I got some hand lotion and let him watch me do it from beginning to end. After I ejaculated, he even put his fingers in it to see what it felt like, since I told him it was slimy. Then he did it and said it was awesome, although he only ejaculated a little bit. Now his door is closed all the time and he takes long showers, so I guess he's getting pretty good at it. Hey, what's a big brother for?
- age 16, New York
This Week's Wackiest Response:
I once let a herd of penguins watch one of my sessions when I visited the Arctic. They seemed to enjoy it as much as I did.
- age 16, Ohio
The first time was unintentional, some 18 years ago. During a camping trip, a friend who shared my tent was not asleep and he saw the whole thing. No problem — he just mentioned it casually the next day and was surprised I didn't see him doing it the night before. In retrospect, it would have been more exicting to know I was being watched. Currently, my wife watches me weekly, and if I'm lucky, she'll join in the process. By the way, she is getting very good at the stroking process!
- age 33, New Jersey
My 18-year-old brother shares my room with me. He came home early one night from a date with his girlfriend and walked in while I was lying on my bed masturbating. I just sort of stopped. He said, "Don't let me stop you," and started taking off his clothes so he could take a shower. So, I just went back to masturbating while he was futzing around the room. He acted like I wasn't doing anything weird, and I saw him watch when I ejaculated. After that, he threw me his underwear that he had just taken off and said I could wipe up with them. After I did, he put them and all his dirty clothes in the hamper. Since then, I guess he feels comfortable with it, so anytime we want to masturbate now, we just do it and don't worry about the other one. We haven't done it to each other and I'm not sure I want to, although it's cool to watch. He ejaculates a lot and FAR!
- age 15, Illinois
Several friends and I frequently masturbated together when we were in high school, and I very much enjoyed the bonding that took place. Sometimes we masturbated all at once, and sometimes we took turns, but we were always interested in watching each other. Eventually we also took turns masturbating each other, and I thoroughly enjoyed that as well. It wasn't until I was in college that I experienced mutual masturbation with a girl, and that also was great.
- age 60, Pennsylvania
I have let someone watch, and it is incredible. I really enjoy watching my partner get excited by what I am doing. The more he gets excited the more *I* get excited. We do this once in a while to spice things up.
- age 36, California (female)
I let my girlfriend watch during foreplay. I really enjoyed that she watched. I think it made me even more turned on than when I do it by myself.
- age 30, Colorado
Last year on holiday in Greece, an older guy started talking to me by the pool and asked straight out if he could watch me masturbate. I was turned on by the idea but pretended hesitance so he had to work to persuade me. Finally, we went back to my hotel room. I stripped and masturbated on the bed while he sat in the chair and watched. It felt really cool while I was doing it, but once I finished, I was embarrassed.
- age 18, United Kingdom
In my youth, my best buddy and I did it and watched — it was highly erotic. Later, both my wives and I did it to completion, and it stimulated us both. I believe the eye is the direct channel to the mind for both men and women.
- age 63, South Carolina
I was hanging at a girl's house one day when she asked me to show her my penis. I obliged, and then she asked me to masturbate, so I did — and she wanted me to keep on going until climax. This was one of the greatest orgasms of my life, and now both of us mutually masturbate a couple of times a week.
- age 17, New Jersey
When I was a teenager, I went camping with my younger cousin. We were skinny-dipping in the lake. When we got out, we lay on the beach, and he asked me when I had started to grow pubic hair. The conversation (plus his running his fingers through my pubic hair!) gave me an erection, and I showed him how I masturbated. A few days later, he came to the house and as I watched, pulled down his pants and underpants and showed me that he had learned well.
- age 39, Florida
I remember once when I tried to masturbate in front of a male friend in college. I gave it the "old college try," but in the end, I couldn't reach climax because I was paying too much attention to his presence. I think I'd need to be in the presence of someone who really turned me on, like a boyfriend, instead of just a friend. With boyfriends, I often engage in mutual masturbation but haven't taken care of myself in front of any of them. I'd be happy to try it now, though!
- age 27, Oregon (female)
My best friend and I went for a ride in his car and started talking about masturbating, which we had done with each other many times. He pulled over and we began to masturbate, but then I realized he was not doing anything but watching me. It really turned me on, so I let him. By the time I climaxed, my knees were shaking. Then he let me watch him. Strangely enough, I am straight.
- age 15, New Hampshire
I've been trying to find a way to ask my girlfriend to watch me and let me watch her. I think it would be such a turn-on, and to get to see how she pleasures herself ... I think that would make me such a better lover.
- age 26, District of Columbia
I let my best friend watch me. I have known him for years and we are close, so one day I asked him if he masturbated. He said no. I told him that I did, and he didn't believe me, so I did it. It felt good having him watch. It just made my experience more pleasurable.
- age 13, New Jersey
I was about 13 and had just begun to ejaculate. My best friend and his brother (they were 11 and 12) wanted to see me have an orgasm, so I let them watch. They both got really excited by it and did it with me. The 12-year-old had his first orgasm and ejaculation that day. The look on his face was hilarious as he climaxed and realized he had just ejaculated all over his jeans.
- age 38, Michigan
No, I've never let anybody watch me masturbate. I think masturbation is a private and personal thing and should be kept to oneself, unless two people are attracted to each other and agree to masturbate in front of each other in order to avoid actual sex for numerous reasons, such as STD prevention or the plain preservation of virginity.
- age 15, Pennsylvania
Apart from one simply amazing "circle jerk" when I was 15, my main activities were under the stage of the assembly hall at school. Watch? Holy mackerel, did we ever! My mate and I spent many happy hours under there happily indulging in that most popular of pastimes. Thinking back, it was funny, I guess — but at the time, it was as urgent as hell, and we took every opportunity to get there and get at it as soon as possible. It is funny that teenage sex naturally progresses from your friends to girls so smoothly that you think nothing of it at the time.
- age 62, Australia
Once I was quite aroused, just before a friend of mine came over (a girl). My parents weren't home, so I knew there was no risk of them catching me. I lay down on my bed, slipped off my skirt and panties, and started to go at it. I closed my eyes and after I climaxed about 45 minutes later, my friend was sitting there watching. And yes, I enjoyed it.
- age 15, Pennsylvania (female)
I used to work in a very large office. One day while I was masturbating in a men's room stall, I noticed a co-worker watching me through the crack. At first, I stopped; but then I figured if he wanted a show, I would give him one. So I proceeded to masturbate to orgasm. It was very intense. I put on this same show for this married co-worker 5 or 6 more times. It was enjoyable to have him watch me.
- age 32, New York
Once at the health club that I frequent, I was preparing to take a shower. A man was standing there naked, either getting into or out of a shower, and he noticed me noticing him. He stood in a shower visible to me (we saw each other through gaps in the shower curtains and the walls) and washed himself. I noticed that he was spending a long time washing his penis when I realized he was masturbating and looking at me! Watching him masturbate immediately turned me on, and so I began to stroke myself.
- age 18, Michigan
My 15-year-old son lives with me. A few months ago, it was late at night. I was masturbating on the couch when I saw his shadow behind me. We have talked about masturbation and sex many times. I have walked in on him while he was masturbating and backed out of his room. But this time he was watching me. I didn't know what to do at first. Then I thought, to heck with it. I just kept going. I actually got more excited to do it in front of another person, even my son. He never knew I knew he was there. After I was done, he left for his own room. I guess I gave him a good show, because I put my ear to the door and could hear him going at it himself. We have not spoken about it, though.
- age 38, Texas
I've masturbated in front of sex partners before, mainly as foreplay (it always ended in sex). I've also watched partners masturbate. I watch masturbation more than I do it myself!
- age 23, California (female)
When I was 12, my bedroom window was across from the neighbor's window. They had a 15-year-old son. One night, I was masturbating in my room when I glanced over and saw him watching me. He was rubbing himself through his pants. So, I turned to face out the window. I motioned him to join in, and he did. Watching him watching me masturbating — let me tell you, I needed quite a bit of Windex that night!
- age 14, Illinois
When I was 12 and had been masturbating for about 6 months, a friend wanted to know how to do it. We went into the school toilets and watched each other do it. Then we did it to each other. It felt good at the time, but I do wonder sometimes now if that was normal.
- age 36, United Kingdom
I let my older brother watch me when I was 12 and he was 13. I had written some sexual letters and stuff on the computer, and he found them, so he kind of blackmailed me to do it. I really didn't enjoy it, though we did end up masturbating each other later. I think it's better for non-brothers to be masturbation partners. It keeps the friendship as brothers from being broken.
- age 16, Mississippi
I met someone on the Internet and let him watch me masturbate with a vibrator. It was very naughty, therefore incredibly sexy. I definitely enjoyed it!
- age 34, New Zealand (female)
I have demonstrated for one or two girlfriends in response to the question, "How do you do 'it'?" Of course, they showed me, too. There was one other person, but I didn't know they were watching until I finished!
- age 28, Pennsylvania
My 10-year-old stepbrother was watching me once late at night when I did not know it. I didn't want him to tell my parents, so I just let him watch. We have been very close ever since.
- age 15, Maryland (female)
This just happened a few days ago. My roommate and I are both separated from our wives. He was telling me he had some good porn movies and to watch them with him. I sat down, and in no time had an erection. He removed his briefs and began to masturbate right in front of me. I was really taken aback by it. Then I thought, "So what?" So I did the same. After a few minutes, we stopped watching the video and turned to watching each other. It was one of the best masturbation sessions I have ever had. From now on, if he ever wants to masturbate with me — NO PROBLEM!
- age 38, California
I have had a few women watch me — 3 different women at different times, actually. Same situation — we were messing around and then would find that we were running out of time. So I needed to climax quickly and took matters into my own hands.
- age 27, Ohio
Before we were married, my wife asked me if I masturbate and if she could watch. She said she gave a guy a "hand job" once and was really turned on when he ejaculated. I was shy at first, but as soon as she took off her shirt, played with her nipples, and said, "I bet this is what you like," I was well on my way. She told me to ejaculate on her chest. It didn't take long. We now replay this act repeatedly, and she masturbates with me.
- age 40, Connecticut
Once my friend (a guy) asked to watch me masturbate because he wasn't sure about it. I didn't see anything wrong with it (actually, it turned me on a bit), so I did. It was the first time he'd seen someone ejaculate, including himself. That told me why he really wanted to see in the first place.
- age 16, Canada
I am seeing a lady from my work, and we have been intimate on occasions. One time when she couldn't do anything sexual because she had just had surgery, she asked me to masturbate so she could watch. I was reluctant a first, but I granted her wish. It was great! I now enjoy doing this for her and have done it many times. She tells me it is a very intimate thing for her. Now — if I can just get her to do it for me.
- age 43, Illinois
When I was 14, a group of school friends and I (boys and girls) masturbated together after talking about sex all night at a Christian camp — just to see what it was like. We were all virgins and wanted to stay that way, but sex was too interesting. Some of the others started as soon as it was suggested. I was a bit more wary. It was great — the best sessions I've ever had. We did it together a few more times and I learned a lot.
- age 17, United Kingdom
When I was about 10, I had a female friend who was a few years older. She had a pool, and we often showered together after swimming. One time at my house, she and I were semi-naked and we played with our vaginas, inserting a few things. For me, it was more exploration at her leading than a sexual thing. Other than her, the only other person who has watched me is my husband. He taught me how to masturbate, so I have done it in front of him before. He has never outright watched me, but once I did it while he just lay there in the dark. I enjoyed it, but it was hard to let go and finally climax, as he wasn't being sexual at the time. I didn't know it then, but it was turning him on.
- age 26, California (female)
About a year ago, my friends and I went to the mountains to camp and fish. The second evening there, one of the guys opened a bottle of Jack Daniels. We all proceeded to get drunk. The conversation went to sex and how horny we all were. We all pulled off our clothes and masturbated in front of each other. All of us are married and had never done this before. It was highly erotic. We all watched and took as long as we could to climax. The next 7 nights we did the same thing, but without the booze. It was awesome to see each other get so excited. At different times now, we get together just to masturbate in front of one another — no touching, but it has really bonded us together!
- age 43, Arizona
I masturbated in front of my dad — actually, several times. It was in recent years. We were hunting for a few days. We left our campsite to finally have a shower. We went to another modern camping area to use the facility. Anyway, I was not expecting him to shower with me. It was a large, open shower. I was masturbating when I heard him say, "Enjoying yourself, kid?" He was just turning on the other shower and he, too, had an erection. I was very embarrassed, but then he threw me some lube and he began to masturbate, too. It was unbelievable to watch my own father masturbate. I was very aroused by it — nothing gay, really, just very hot to see. We both climaxed and talked about it. Since then, we have done it several times. We are both married. And no one else knows.
- age 34, Nebraska
I've let quite a few people watch me masturbate, but the most interesting experience occurred when a complete stranger found me masturbating in the showers at the YMCA. I let him watch me finish the job. He was about my age and just froze when he first saw me. But then, he loosened up and began to watch me as I started to finish what I had started. Although we never touched each other or saw each other after that day, it was the most fun I've ever had letting someone watch me masturbate.
- age 19, Illinois
I was with a buddy in college. We got a bit drunk one night, talked a lot about sex, and decided to get naked and masturbate. At first I was a bit shy, but as I got into it, I was really turned on by his presence. It was exhilarating. I think I ejaculated the most and the hardest ever. Throughout college, we masturbated each other, as well as watched each other masturbate, many different times and in many different public and private places. Although my girlfriend and I masturbate each other, nothing has been as intense as having another guy watch me.
- age 28, Florida
Between the ages of 16-21 and 25-32, I used to masturbate where women across from my windows could see me. I hoped they didn't know I was doing it intentionally so they could see me. I wanted them to be peeking at me. It was an enormous turn-on, and I did it as often as I knew they were home and might be looking. Of course, I arranged the shades and the lighting so I could tell they were at their windows watching. I'm getting excited just thinking about those days.
- age 68, California
Besides my wife and a few friends during adolescence, there have been a couple instances in recent years. One of those was in a sauna when one of my married friends, a few years younger than I, was talking with me about seeing females masturbate. We both got turned on and did it together. The other was with a young friend from work when we were camping together with his family on the beach. He gave me a massage on the beach in a secluded cove under a full moon, which ended up with us both masturbating. It was a little bit of heaven!
- age 37, Hawaii
My girlfriend and I have vowed that we would save our bodies for each other until marriage. We love each other very much. Masturbating together, either each other or one watching the other, is a wonderful way to share our sexuality.
- age 16, Georgia
I only did this once, when I first got married and we wanted to watch each other masturbate. I watched him first, and then he watched me. But I was so nervous about it I couldn't relax enough to have an orgasm. That was 20 years ago. I have only in the past few years started masturbating regularly again, and I have always had a secret fantasy of watching a guy masturbate. As strange as this probably sounds, I think I'd feel more comfortable mutually masturbating with my closest friend, who is a guy, than I would with my husband. I have a wonderful and exciting sex life with my husband, but masturbation is so personal, and I'd feel more comfortable sharing this with my friend.
- age 41, New York (female)
Last summer my parents were having our house painted by these two guys, and I was home alone. I was lying on my bed watching one of my dad's porn videos, and I thought that one of the painters was going to paint the window trim outside of my room soon. So, I left the shades half open to see if he would watch when he got to my bedroom window. I'm not gay — I just wanted to see what would happen. The back of my head was against the window so he wouldn't think I could see him if he watched. When he got to my window, he tried to be quiet, but I could tell he was watching, so I just masturbated slowly and gave him a full show. He stayed put until I was done, and then he tried to be quiet as he moved on to the next window. He never said anything about it.
- age 19, California
I have often let lovers watch me masturbate. I've found that almost every woman I've ever been with, at some point, wanted to watch me masturbate. Sometimes they have asked; sometimes I have brought it up. It's never been a negative situation. I have always enjoyed being watched. There is something very intimate about letting a woman watch me masturbate.
- age 37, Alaska
I have never let anyone watch me masturbate, but I often fantasize about it. I would love to be in a group of women with all of us masturbating together.
- age 23, Michigan (female)
When I was an early adolescent, a school friend and I went in for mutual masturbation during our train-spotting days. We would sit on the railway bank under a ground sheet, and when we weren't taking down train numbers, we would bring each other to orgasm. Although at the time my friend was well endowed and could ejaculate easily, I was still having only dry orgasms. Nevertheless, at the time it was most enjoyable because he introduced me to masturbation. My father had never spoken about it. We enjoyed quite a number of train-spotting experiences before going our separate ways in life.
- age 65, United Kingdom