WHAT WAS THE MOST IN-DEPTH CONVERSATION ABOUT MASTURBATION YOU'VE EVER HAD?

I go to a boarding school (co-ed, thank god!) and live in a dorm. I am always talking with other guys late at night, and occasionally the conversation concerns masturbation. No one conversation has been any more involved than another. We talk about how long it takes us, how far we ejaculate, who we think about, different techniques, what porn we like, who has good porn, where in the school we've masturbated (one guy did in the Assistant Headmaster's office), and how many times in a row we can do it.
- age 18, Connecticut

One night, I was on the phone with a close friend of mine, a female. She was telling me about her boyfriend and her. The conversation got around to them mutually masturbating. She asked me how I feel when I ejaculate, and she explained to me how she feels when she climaxes. It was interesting to hear my friend be so open with me.
- age 15, Oregon

It was with my father. I started the conversation by asking him questions about how old he was when he first lost his virginity and then moved on to questions about sex in general. The topic of masturbation arose when I asked him if he had masturbated as a child, and if he still did.
- age 18, Florida

My only conversation about masturbation happened between my best female friend and me. Earlier that night she had spilled some food on her shirt. When she was cleaning it off, I caught a glimpse of the bra she was wearing — black, lacy, and very sexy. She didn't even notice me watching. I couldn't get her bra and breasts off my mind for the entire ride home. When I got out of the car, she winked at me and said "nice pants." I looked down and saw my erection bulging. She asked me what had turned me on so much, and I told her. I guess it really surprised (and excited) her. We went on to talk about masturbation and what turns us on. We each confessed to fantasizing about the other. She started to show me how she does it and then let me put my fingers into her vagina. I was kind of surprised; it was warm and moist inside. Eventually, we ended up masturbating together — but honestly, I think the conversation was more fulfilling (not that the orgasm wasn't fantastic). Afterwards, I asked her if we could do it again, and she said that she'd love to, so we decided to take a shower together in the future. That conversation brought us closer than ever, and we're better friends now than we've ever been.
- age 17, Iowa

It was in high school. Some guys and I (8 to 10 people) were sitting in the waiting room for the school nurse. There was a sex-related poster on the wall, so the subject just came up. One of the most popular guys (most likely to get a lot of sex) just asked another guy (considered a nerd) how many times a week he masturbates. Surprisingly, the guy who asked the question ended it by telling everyone how many times he does it himself — about once a day, 7 days a week! For a guy with a reputation, this was a very brave thing to do. That helped the rest of us to describe our own habits. The conversation got more advanced as people shared different techniques. Let's just say that everyone, nerd or not, became equals in that waiting room and we all had a great time with a lot of laughs.
- age 24, Sweden

It was a conversation with a girl that started about bisexuality and got on to masturbation — in particular, female masturbation and why females so often deny masturbating. In the end, we got beyond the taboos and began to talk about what techniques we use and how frequently we masturbate. It was quite arousing to find out about how girls masturbate and what they think about it.
- age 15, New Zealand

I always wanted to know if my best fried masturbates, but I never had the guts to ask. One night we were drinking, and out of the blue, he just mentioned how good his last toss was. That got us to talking about how we do it, how often we do it, and how much we ejaculate. We have also talked about this with his girlfriend. She uses cucumbers when she masturbates. She offered to show us, but we didn't have one with us, so that will have to wait. She masturbates every day, as we do.
- age 20, Australia

When I was in 8th grade, 5 of my friends and I were trying to decide whether or not masturbation is morally wrong. The conversation started because we were all sharing a room on a class trip to Washington, D.C., and somebody on television began talking about masturbating. I am pretty sure we all masturbated regularly, but at that point, we wouldn't admit it.
- age 16, Illinois

About 11 years ago, when my son was 13, I discussed why masturbation is an appropriate way to discover the male body and also a good way to avoid the peer pressure to have sex with females. We discussed the fact that masturbation is a wholesome way to relieve the anxiety of being a teenage male, because it allows one to experience a range of pleasure without risk of disease or the incurrence of an unwanted baby by a young couple unready to start a family or interrupt their education. I think the conversation had great value. He is now a young adult, and while he did explore his body, he has been able to avoid the pitfalls of youth that plague so many young people. I am grateful and thankful that I had that discussion with my son.
- age 61, Georgia

I have the most awesome relationship with my dad and my brother. Dad buys me lube whenever I need it, and I ask him questions about anything I can think of. When I realized he was open to talking about it, I had a million questions for him. (How did you do it? Did you use lube? Did you ever get walked in on?) As for my brother, we talk more about techniques and such.
- age 15, Illinois

Oddly enough, it was with my sister when we were both in our 40s. She was twice divorced, I was never married, and after a couple of glasses of wine, the subject of sex (or lack of it) came up. We both admitted that we masturbate. We talked about it for quite a while. I got a little carried away and pulled out my penis to give sister a little demo. She seemed to enjoy it, but she would not join the festivities. The next morning, I felt like an idiot, and we never discussed it again.
- age 61, California

My ex-boyfriend-turned-best-friend and I can honestly say we've got the whole masturbation topic fully covered. We revealed all our most private masturbation secrets one night when he casually brought it up as he dictated his brother's sexuality questionnaire. Question 1: How many times a week do you masturbate? We discussed this, and when we felt completely comfortable with it, moved on to how it's done, when it's done, where it's done, and also, whether any special bits of equipment are used. (For now, I won't get into that.) We now know everything about the other's masturbation habits. We even do it together over the phone, because from our intensive discussions about masturbation, we learned that the sound of one of us masturbating ("huff, huff," "pant, pant, "*moan,* *moan*") fully turns the other on.
- age 15, Australia (female)

My wife and I once talked about what I do when she is on her period. I told her that I masturbate. So, we discussed how, where, when, and why, as I masturbated while she watched.
- age 36, Hawaii

It was with my dad, when I was 11. He started the conversation by asking if had starting masturbating yet (he used the J-word). I was quite embarrassed, but I said yes. He then went into a 10-or-15-minute monologue that pretty much said masturbation is okay, everyone does it, do it as often as you feel that you need to, do it in private, and most of all, don't worry about it. It's normal and healthy. Any questions? I had plenty, and he answered every one as well as he could. He also said I would probably experiment sexually with other boys, probably my best friend at the time, and not to worry about it. That, too, was normal. I was hugely embarrassed, because my friend and I had already been experimenting. I worried my dad might have known what was going on and just said that to let me know. That conversation lasted about an hour. Anytime after that, I felt perfectly comfortable asking him questions about anything sexual. I am very lucky.
- age 17, California

This year, a friend of mine just started masturbating at age 19. We're both Christian. It overwhelmed him — wrestling with lust, the power of the feelings, and the fact that he can't stop. He looks up to me, so for the next 4 hours on the phone, I taught him everything I know — how to do it, when, why. I taught him about training yourself to last longer for when you're married, ways to avoid lust (a big deal for a Christian wanker), position, timing, how I got started, how it feels. It was cool that we were both old enough to talk about it. I wish my dad had told me half this stuff when I was 13 and got "hooked."
- age 26, Ohio

The only in-depth discussion about masturbation that I have ever had was when I was 8 or 9 and I accidentally walked in on my two brothers, who were going at it as fast as they could. They stopped masturbating and started telling me all about techniques, orgasms, and ejaculations. Even, when I got to watch them both ejaculating very close up, none of it made any sort of sense to me. Somehow, I thought I would never be able to do anything like that, even when I reached their age. Of course, when I got to age 12, all of a sudden everything became crystal clear!
- age 16, Belgium

Just the other day, I was talking to a guy. The topic of masturbation came up, and he told me he hasn't masturbated in 6 years! I asked why, and he said that it had to do with some traumatic experience in high school. So we started talking about how healthy it is to masturbate, why he should, how often I do it, techniques, and finally cleanup. He is older than I am, so it seemed weird for me to be offering pointers to him. I told him to go home and get some real "me-time" in.
- age 21, Texas

It took place a year ago, in a chat room. It was with a girl who claimed never to have masturbated and was worried about what people would think of her as well as about how to do it. Being male, I couldn't give her much help on the latter, but I was still able to convince her that masturbation isn't a sin. The conversation lasted for nearly an hour, with me answering her questions and trying to help her raise her confidence, which seemed to be very low (she considered herself to be a loser). A few weeks later, I chatted with her again, finding out that she had taken my advice and was a lot less stressed about masturbation. It was the only worthwhile time I ever spent in a chat room.
- age 16, Wyoming

When I was a student at a coed boarding school, two female students asked me how I masturbate. One of them said that her brother attached a battery to his penis and that this made him ejaculate. She also wondered whether penises make their own lubrication. I explained my rather pedestrian, two-handed technique (with added lubrication), and they both explained how females masturbate with fingers on the clitoris. The other girl said that sometimes she would position herself spread-eagle under the bathtub spout and get off from the impact of the flowing water. I've now been married to her for 29 years!
- age 46, New Jersey

My best friend and I were sitting in my grandparents' cottage, talking about girls and sex. The topic moved to masturbation, so I told him that I masturbate and what I do. He told me what he does and what he likes. I didn't think he was that type of person.
- age 17, Ohio

A younger fraternity brother and I were sitting in his room watching porno. He stepped out to use the bathroom and then came back. I teased him a little — all in good fun. So we started talking about masturbating — how often we do it, and what grip we use. He was surprised to hear that I masturbate dry — he didn't know it was possible. I think we really bonded that night with that conversation.
- age 20, Colorado

It happened recently, with my dad. About midnight I was watching a softcore porn movie and masturbating. When it had "satisfied my needs," I turned off the program, but I could still hear the sound of a woman moaning. I crept downstairs and peered into the den, only to find my dad watching the same movie and satisfying *his* needs! Unfortunately, the door creaked as I leaned on it. My dad turned around and saw me. I made some lame excuse about wondering what the noise was, but he said it was okay. He started talking about how all men masturbate and asked if I do. I was shy at first, but I admitted it. He asked how long I've been masturbating. He said I didn't have to answer, but I was beginning to think this was a good idea. I told him I've been doing it since I was 12, and he seemed shocked. He asked if there was anything I wanted to ask him, and I asked how long he'd been masturbating and if he ever felt guilty after doing it. He said he'd been masturbating since about my age and that he sometimes feels a little guilty.
- age 15, Scotland

My friend started joking about it, so after a while of joking around, I got serious and asked if he thought it was a sin. We talked about this question for a while and concluded that we don't think it is.
- age 23, North Carolina

It would have to be last summer, when I found out that my friend also masturbates. We discussed a great many techniques! It made me feel much better to know that others do it. And he gave me the address for this site, which has been *quite* helpful!
- age 14, Iowa

After years of never talking about masturbation to anybody, JackinWorld has become my outlet for serious discussion with other masturbators — mostly to compare early feelings about it and how much I enjoy doing it now that the guilt has been removed. I enjoy revealing the taboo places I've done it, even though I discover that we've all done similar things. I've discussed everything from shaving my pubes to eating my semen with my current JackInsider pen pal.
- age 56, Ohio

I don't know if this counts as a discussion, but my cousin, who is 13 and lives in Ireland, recently hinted in an e-mail message to me that he has started masturbating. I hinted back that I masturbate, and the next time we e-mailed each other, we both admitted that we do it. He has only recently started to masturbate, and he asks me many questions about sex and masturbation because he thinks I know everything about it (I'm two years older). I can answer most of his questions, but for some, I have to check on JackinWorld! Anyway, I suppose you could say that for the last month or so, we have been having an ongoing discussion about masturbation.
- age 15, Australia

I once taught in a college when I was 24 — much younger that the rest of the teaching staff. One afternoon, I was walking past some lads talking. One of them said, "Mr. E, you wank, don't you?" I was rather taken aback. How do you answer a group of 17- and 18-year-old lads? I said, "Of course I do." It turned out that they were discussing masturbation, and two or three of the more mature lads had explained that every bloke does it and it was no cause for shame. Two or three of them could not admit that they wank. So we spent about an hour talking about it — explaining the various reasons someone masturbates. The three lads who were leading the conversation really helped the others acknowledge that they masturbate and that it is okay both to wank as well as to talk about it. I have not had such an honest conversation since.
- age 35, United Kingdom

I have often discussed masturbation with my girlfriend. We masturbate each other, so we talk about what feels good and what doesn't. We also talk about her much more than me, because the vagina is much more complicated than the penis. We talk about various stimulation points and methods. I've done a lot of online research, but I've still learned much more from her than I ever could have online.
- age 15, New York

I once rented a room in a house where a gay guy lived. He worked at a local adult video shop. I guess he wanted to know what makes me tick. We started talking about different things. I asked him if he had any strange experiences working in a place like that, and that got us into the subject of masturbation. We didn't really discuss techniques or anything, but he did ask me if I masturbate. I told him I do. Ultimately, we ended up masturbating together. I'd never masturbated with anyone else before, much less a gay guy. But the experience was very interesting. I am straight, so it didn't go any farther than that — but I was much more comfortable about it than I expected. Sometimes I relive that experience and fantasize about it when I masturbate (alone), wishing that I had someone to share it with again.
- age 39, California

It was with my girlfriend. We were comfortable with the subject, so she asked me straight-out if I do it. I said yes, and then asked her if she does. We got into a long discussion about it, involving frequency, fantasies, and experiences. She said that she often thought of me as she masturbated, and I recounted some of my fantasies involving her. Overall, I found that I enjoyed talking with her about how I perform sexually, and hearing about her sexual desires.
- age 17, Pennsylvania

I recently made an e-mail friend, and we started sharing experiences. He brought up masturbation, and we discussed frequency, penis size, circumcision, and techniques — the whole works. It was great, because it's easier to level with someone online than it is in person. I don't know any males with whom I could be this frank. I mentioned JackinWorld, and he already knew about it.
- age 64, Iowa

When I was 13 and not yet fully mature, we were watching a video in French class where a boy made a motion indicating masturbation. I laughed uncontrollably, so my teacher kept me after class. She looked to be somewhere in her 50s or 60s at the time. Basically, she told me not to laugh at it because everyone does it, myself included at the time. That was the time when I only rubbed my penis against my bed. I didn't think it was considered masturbation until later on. It was uncomfortable for me to talk about it at that age, even though I pleasured myself daily.
- age 16, Ontario, Canada

Not too long ago, my best friend, my girlfriend, and her best friend had all had a bit to drink. We started talking about how often we masturbate both now, and when we were teens. We also talked about how we had discovered masturbation. I actually learned a lot about the female side of things, and I realized how different it was. One thing, though — the girls were not impressed to hear that my best friend and I had both done it at work! Guys, I really don't think women get up to masturbation like we do!
- age 22, Australia

I talked to my older brother about masturbating for about 3 hours after my first time, because it scared me and made me feel bad. He told me it was okay to do it and that I was fine because stuff came out. Then he showed me JackinWorld, and I read everything on there. It made me feel better.
- age 14, Washington D.C.

It was with my mom. Normally, I am pretty cautious when masturbating, but one time I got kind of lost in myself. When I looked up, my mom was standing in the doorway. I thought I would die. She was pretty cool about it, and she told me to finish up and then come talk to her. She told me that masturbation is normal and okay, stuff about safety and health, and even taught me some techniques. She even got me a vibrator. She's so cool!
- age 18, Ohio (female)

I was at a party. All the girls were talking together, and we boys got bored. We decided to go talk about other stuff. We got on the topic of penis sizes, if we were circumcised or uncircumcised, and how you would masturbate if you were uncircumcised. I am "uncut," so I gladly told them all about it. That loosened everyone up, and soon everyone shared masturbation and penis stories. It was great fun and a strong male-bonding experience.
- age 15, New York

On a chat line with another man about my age, we found we are both married with kids. We started discussing life. Neither of us was popular as a kid, and that led somehow to talking about how we discovered masturbation, hid it from our parents (or thought we did), finally met girls and lost our shyness about sexual development, and so on. I mentioned that I still masturbate, and he agreed that he does, too. So (in that anonymous chat) we were able to talk about what was fulfilling and unfulfilling about intercourse and masturbation, describe ways that we masturbate, how it feels to touch our penises, stroke, ejaculate, and thoughts and memories that we have while we do it — all in far more detail than I could have had in a direct conversation.
- age 49, Wisconsin

I was talking to a friend I trusted but didn't know very well. He was the only person I've talked to about this, mostly because I knew what I said to him wouldn't be getting back home to friends or family. We were talking about girls, and somehow we got onto the topic of "length." I'm well endowed, so he was curious about how I masturbate. (As if longer guys masturbate differently from shorter guys!) We compared our penises, and I told him about my frequency (at least once a day) and all the different places I've masturbated — school, the mall, the house, in my kayak, and while skiing.
- age 17, New Jersey

My little brother, who is 12, discovered masturbation about two months ago and came to me with a lot of questions. We spent the rest of the night talking about masturbating, and doing it, because talking about it made us need to do it.
- age 14, Ireland

It was the summer that I taught my younger cousin how to masturbate. He kept coming back for refreshers and to show me how he was progressing. I don't think I ever talked to anyone as much as I did to him about all of the ways in which the penis can be pleasured. I still think back to that summer fondly.
- age 39, Florida

The longest discussion had to be online with a stranger, who was my age. We just talked about how we do it and stuff. I found him in a gay chat room. I'm not gay, but perhaps bi, and I was really horny that night. We didn't "cyber" or anything; it was educational.
- age 16, New York

It was with my best friend, last year — he had mentioned something about scratching his "stuff." I said mine was chafing because I had used shampoo in the shower. Then he said, "What?" I told him what I had done. We began to discuss how we like to do it, how often we do it, whether we "shoot" or "dribble," and that regardless of how much "real" sex we might have had, we still need to be "self-serviced." It was a pretty cool conversation and had no negative affect on our friendship.
- age 23, California

It was in my next-to-last year of high school, starting with one of my friends making a joke about masturbation. After we finished laughing at the joke, another friend asked the first one if he masturbated. The rest of us were surprised when he said no. We asked him why he didn't do it, and then the rest of us discussed how often we do it, whether we use lubricant, how long it takes, whether or not we were circumcised (most of us weren't), and whether being circumcised made the penis any more sensitive. We also discussed whether or not it is more fun to masturbate with the foreskin rolled back.
- age 18, Australia

I've talked about masturbation only with my dad and would be way too embarrassed to talk about it with anyone else. I didn't start masturbating until this year. The first time I did it, it was an accident. I didn't know what I had done and was worried about it, so I called my dad. He was really cool about it. He didn't laugh at me, and he told me in exact detail all about masturbation. He said I don't have to feel guilty about doing it and that I can feel free to do it whenever I want — just to close my door if I need privacy. He told my mother and my sisters, too, which was embarrassing — but at least I didn't have to tell them. They knock now before they come into my room.
- age 13, Australia

A couple of years ago, I was visiting a dear friend of mine who was 89. He got very quiet and then asked if he could ask me a very personal question. Of course I didn't mind — but I was a bit surprised when he began to ask about masturbation and my feelings about it. I told him I had begun when I was 9 years old, enjoy it often, and plan to be enjoying it the day I die. He relaxed, and we had a wonderful male-bonding discussion that lasted well into the night. I told him about JackinWorld, and he was very interested in how many males feel free to discuss the subject. He admitted that he still enjoyed masturbation and would do so more often since our talk. A few days later I was visiting him again and saw some lube on his nightstand. He just winked, and we laughed together. After he died, I was glad we had that wonderful discussion that freed him to enjoy himself anytime he wanted.
- age 67, Texas