I challenge all teens (and adults, too) to begin to freely admit to your peers that you masturbate, you enjoy it greatly, and you're proud of it. If you start to get teased about it, just say, "At least I have the guts to admit it!" Another tactic is simply to assume they're lying by denying it — say things like, "So, what grip do you use?" "One hand or two?" "Lube or dry?" Even tell them about JackinWorld! Believe me, even if they never own up to it, you'll at least win their respect and be remembered for your bravery. Who knows — you might even cause the oppressive walls to come crashing down and initiate more enlightened attitudes and discussions about sexuality in your peer group. And when you're older, you'll be glad you took a stand and did your part to change things for the better.
Actually, for us to use words like "deny" and "admit" is just as inappropriate as saying you get "caught" when someone walks in on you. It's not wrong to masturbate! Smash the masturbation taboo!]
I have denied masturbating to only one person — my best friend, of all people. I did this because he would have acted very immaturely if he knew. For example, if I had told him I masturbated once last month, he would've never let me touch his video-game controllers or his remote control, even though I masturbate much more than that! If anyone else asks, I just say, "Yes, everyone does. I'm not going to lie," and most people accept that and find it very mature. As far as I'm concerned, if someone asks you if you masturbate, odds are they do, too!
- age 17, Connecticut
When I was 12 or 13, I was discussing masturbation with my friend, and we both denied masturbating. We claimed it was nasty and disgusting, although I had begun to masturbate by then and enjoyed it. I didn't want to be embarrassed by admitting that to my friend. As I look back on it, I think he was lying, too. Today I wouldn't deny that I masturbate — I'd be proud of it.
- age 16, Georgia
I've never outright lied about it. I was lucky to learn relatively young that masturbation was natural and harmless and served as a tool for learning about my body. Whenever I was asked, or in a conversation about it, I would simply say, "Sure, I rather enjoy it!" But before that, my older brother used to tease me about the "long showers" I would take. I just played dumb, as if I had no idea what he was talking about. I never denied it; I just didn't admit to anything. Fortunately, I was educated soon afterwards.
- age 32, California
Of course. Most chicks hate it when guys say they masturbate, and all my guy friends would never admit to it because it's not socially popular.
- age 14, Canada
Only once — one day when I as 13 my mom asked me if I masturbate. I told her no, because I thought she'd be mad at me. A few weeks later she walked in on me while I was doing it, and we had a big talk — not about masturbation so much but about lying. Since then, I've always told people a straight story.
- age 16, Virginia (female)
I also tried to deny I was living, but they didn't buy that, either!
- age 14, Mississippi
I kind of lied about it once. My dad was not really too cool about masturbation. When I was around 15, he found a jar of Vaseline in my room, and in front of my mom, he asked me sarcastically whether I "greased up." I don't remember what I said. My little brother is 17 now; we admit it to each other and to anyone who asks now. That's the way it ought to be!
- age 30, Kentucky
I deny it, because why would you want anyone to know? Even though everyone knows everyone does it, no one wants to admit it, because then you appear different from everyone else. No one else admits it, either.
- age 17, Michigan
I've denied it to everyone except my closest friends. Even though everyone knows I'm lying, it doesn't make a difference. There are things that should be kept private, and masturbating is one of them. It's one special thing a man can do to himself. It's a special relationship between a man and his penis that has lasted for thousands of years, and what's happened lately is that we've been exploiting it. Plus, until some idiot a few hundred years back did it in front of a girl, she hadn't a clue what it was. And if it weren't for that moron, women wouldn't know, and we'd have it all to ourselves. And that's why I don't tell anybody.
- age 16, Illinois
My wife asked me if I had ever masturbated and I said no. But about a year later we masturbated together before we had intercourse, so I am sure she knew I lied. Six years later she called me to say that our 7-year-old son was masturbating, and I 'fessed up and told her all boys and most men masturbate. I told her I masturbated at least once a day well into my teens, and not to worry, as it is perfectly normal for little boys (and big boys) to masturbate.
- age 41, California
Last year these older girls I knew through my mom were making fun of me, calling me Puberty Boy and stuff like that. Soon they started talking about masturbation and said I probably did it. They kept bothering me, and then my mom and her friend joined in. I was so mad my face turned red, and I ran into the other room. Later I yelled at my mom and said I didn't like her presuming things she didn't know about. Because I didn't! What a lie.
- age 13, New Jersey
Yes, I have and won't bring it up. Why is that, though? You talk about farting, pissing, taking a dump, and even having sex with a girl. Isn't masturbation as normal as any of those? There are guys who pick boogers in the middle of class but won't admit to masturbating! And when you think about it, people drink beer for *pleasure* — isn't masturbation for pleasure, too?
- age 15, Virginia
I denied it once when my oldest friend brought it up. This was way back before I had a good attitude toward it and wasn't sure it was okay. I was embarrassed. Now, if somebody asks me, I admit to it freely. I don't care, because I know they do it, too!
- age 25, Florida
No, I have never had the need to. My parents asked me once, and I openly said, "Yeah, so?" They were cool with it and they respect my privacy. My dad tells me stories about how much he used to masturbate — he is real cool about it.
- age 16, California
Nope, never — in fact, the one major time masturbation was being discussed in a derogatory fashion and people weren't owning up to it (a particularly poorly supervised 12th-grade math class), I not only admitted masturbating but goaded the others into admitting it, too. That started a general discussion, one of the high points of my school experience.
- age 21, Ontario, Canada
I have denied masturbating a couple of times. The one I remember most was when I was in school and was talking to a group of them "Homey-G's," which we have so many of nowadays. (By the way, when it comes to masturbating this group of people is in huge *denial*.) The subject came up and they asked me if I did it. After a pause I said, "Uhhh, no." I was afraid it was just a ploy to make fun of me and embarrass me in front of the whole class.
- age 16, California
I have denied masturbating all my life. I simply do not want people to know such an extremely private thing about myself.
- age 31, Missouri (female)
Last year during my first semester of college, my roommate one morning asked me if I had been shaking hands with Lincoln during the night. I said, "What do you mean?" and he said, "Were you jerking off?" I said I didn't masturbate, even though I had. He said the bunks were shaking so he must just have an active imagination. I denied it partly because I was embarrassed that he was awake when I thought for sure he was asleep, and I was also worried he might have been awake before when I did it at night. I was worried he might frown on that activity and think less of me for having no self-control.
- age 19, Pennsylvania
In junior high, someone asked — but they weren't serious, and I knew I'd just be ruthlessly made fun of if I said yes. Actually this happened a lot.
- age 18, Indiana
I have to deny that I masturbate at least three times a year, because of my religion, Mormon. A Mormon teenager has to have at least 3 interviews a year that ask whether you masturbate. I have to deny it or I'll be kicked out of the church and probably disowned by my parents. I wish I didn't have to deny the truth, but I have no control over it.
- age 16, California
I was home this past spring break, and my younger brother and his friends were at my parents' house, and somehow they got to talking about whether anyone masturbated. I walked into the room, and one of my brother's friends asked my brother, "Hey, do you think your sister masturbates?" A bunch of loud laughter followed. I just shot the kid a dirty look and shook my head — I mean, what else could I do? I'm not about to say, "Why yes, I do masturbate!" in front of my brother and his 16-year-old friends.
- age 21, Florida (female)
One time, when I was about 12, my brother was in my room for some reason. He looked under my bed and found a jar of Vaseline. He brought it to the table where everyone was. I can't remember exactly what was said; all I remember is that I ran to my room and closed the door behind me. I could hear my mom tell my dad to come into my room, but he said it's just a normal thing. I'm now embarrassed by the whole situation, and luckily it hasn't been mentioned since.
- age 15, Missouri
No, I have never denied that I masturbate, because I've never been asked! If asked, though, I'm not sure what I'd say. I guess it would depend on the person. If it was someone I was comfortable with, I don't think I'd have a problem admitting it. Of course, if I were talking with a friend and they told me they masturbated, I wouldn't have any trouble telling them I did, too. I feel no guilt about my masturbation, but in some circles it would be inappropriate to talk about it.
- age 23, Washington
As a girl, it is very hard to admit I masturbate because it is "un-ladylike." I have been asked by numerous guys and a few girls. I have admitted it only to my little brother, because once I caught him masturbating and I told him not to worry because I do it, too. Since then, we have been very open to each other on that subject — until I caught him once watching me masturbate while he did it, too. Then I was really mad.
- age 16, Illinois (female)
Hell, yeah! I know a guy who got caught, and he'll never hear the end of it.
- age 16, Canada
My father asked me if I did anything so bad as that, and I said no. He said, "Good. It'll make you insane!" Great advice from a father, eh?
- age 39, Massachusetts
In 7th grade a friend asked if I "spanked my monkey." I said no only because my girlfriend was sitting next to me. Damn, I was stupid.
- age 14, Ohio
I have lied about masturbating because it's against my religion. [Editor's Note: Apparently lying is just fine in his religion....]
- age 14, Pennsylvania
No. Masturbation reminds me that some of the best things in life really are free.
- age 31, Oregon
I wanted my boyfriend to believe he was the first person ever to bring me sexual pleasure of any type.
- age 17, Georgia (female)
I've never been asked, because I'm so cautious and sneaky about it that no one suspects me. If there's one thing I've learned about not getting caught, it's *cover your tracks.* I masturbate only when I can lock doors or be sure no one is home. Any hint of danger and I abort. Usually the easiest way for me is to just do it in the shower — the stuff goes down the drain. No evidence, no suspicion, no questions asked.
- age 16, California
When I was in 7th grade, one day during gym class a friend said something about masturbating, and then asked, "You do it, don't you?" while making a jacking motion with his fist, and I responded "No!" But later that day we were hanging out at his house, and I guess I felt guilty about lying to my best friend, so I admitted I masturbated. To this day he is the only one I admitted that to.
- age 20, Rhode Island
Once I was masturbating in the shower and my brother looked in on me to scare me. When he saw what I was doing, I told him I was just washing myself.
- age 16, Montana
Nope. I once was talking with a couple of friends about pre-marital sex and whether it was right or wrong. They knew I was against it, but one friend said, "You may not have had sex, but you can't deny you masturbate. Just about everyone does." He thought it was amusing, and that was the first time I'd ever heard anyone admit they masturbate. But I didn't deny it then and wouldn't deny it now.
- age 24, Oklahoma
At school I was hanging around a senior and a bunch of freshman girls. The senior was talking about masturbating with a hard-boiled egg. He asked me, "Well, do you masturbate?" I said, "Well, no, umm.....uhh, not really." I really screwed up.
- age 15, Maine
I was about 13 and my family and I took a vacation that inadvertently forced us to the confines of our hotel room for the entire week. At that time in my life masturbation was new and frequent. After the 3rd or 4th day, my mother got tired as seeing me disappear for 15 minutes at a time 4 or 5 times a day and finally said, "I know what you are doing in there..." I vehemently denied it out of guilt. I think I felt guilty because I masturbated primarily to the thought of other guys, and I felt that since our family did not discuss sex openly that it was *dirty.*
- age 29, Minnesota
Yes, at my last birthday party we played truth or dare, and they asked me if I masturbate. Afraid to embarrass myself in front of my closet friends, I said no. My closest friend of all called me an idiot for lying and said everyone did it. After that I began always to admit to masturbating.
- age 16, Missouri
Yes, because it's still an embarrassing topic for me.
- age 14, Texas
I denied masturbating at first. My best friend and I talk about everything. One day he asked me how I felt about masturbation. I was afraid that if I told him anything except that I didn't do it and thought it was wrong, he wouldn't talk to me. I told him I don't know, and he asked me if I did it, and I said no. Well, later, when I came back to his room (we're in a dorm at college), he wanted to talk to me about something. He asked me if I thought a person was strange if he masturbated, and I said no. I finally told him that I did it and loved it. He then admitted to it as well. Now I never deny it, because who cares if you get yourself off? It's easier to be open than secretive.
- age 19, Georgia
Whenever someone first asks me (if they ask at all), I always say at first, "No, of course not." Then I sort of say, "Well yeah, sometimes..." Then after that, I come right out and say, "All right, so I masturbate. Doesn't everybody?" Then the conversation gets interesting.
- age 15, South Carolina
My husband and I were fighting and I held sex back from him. This went on for several weeks. I was watching a sexy movie by myself while he was at work and got very turned on. I began masturbating and lost track of time. He walked in on me just as I was beginning to orgasm. He laughed and told me he caught me. Not wanting him to win our "contest," I denied it — but believe me, I was caught "wet"-handed!
- age 37, New Jersey (female)
My friend was talking to me about how nasty and gross masturbation was, and I didn't feel comfortable telling him I masturbate, so I kind of kept it a secret. I did not want everyone in town knowing I masturbate! Do you think he does it?
- age 13, Texas
I was asked once by a doctor when I was 15. I did not deny it, and he recommended that I stop, because I would regret it when I grew up and was old. I am old now and still do it often, even though I am happily married.
- age 63, Denmark
I never denied masturbating. I love it and am not ashamed that I pleasure myself. I have even offered to let people watch me to see how it is done, because I am very proud of the control I have learned. I don't see why anyone would deny engaging in such a routine activity.
- age 17, New York
I have never denied that I masturbate. The topic has come up, usually jokingly with male friends, and has never been hard to admit. In fact, I don't see anything to be gained by denying it — I'm a very sexual person, and I'm proud to admit it when asked.
- age 25, Canada
I have no problem admitting I "pull the bull." My buds and I regularly beat it together. But once long ago my dad tried to explain masturbation to me, and I freaked. I totally denied that I did it and told him it was gross. I'm not sure who was more embarrassed.
- age 17, Ohio
I have never actually denied it when someone came out and asked, but I did tone it down some. For instance, for my statistics class, a student asked on the survey he wrote, and since we all were writing false answers I wrote "once every spring" because it sounded cool, like you were celebrating the spring equinox or something. He ended up dropping the question because the teacher would not have allowed it. Of course, we all knew that was his plan in the first place — he just used our answers to get a sexual high.
- age 15, New Jersey
Who hasn't denied it? Last time for me was in 9th grade. Mr. Big Shot Cool Guy, trying to make fun of me, asked if I masturbate. Of course I said no. Finding another way to make fun of me, he then told me I was "gay," the cut-down of the year. That and this Web page are what caused me to stop denying it. Most of my friends think I'm crazy because I'm so open about masturbation now. Oh well.
- age 17, Florida
I've never denied it — just lied about the frequency.
- age 16, Mexico
No. My friends and I joke about it all the time. Sometimes when we meet someone new, we walk up and shake their hand asking, "Do you masturbate?"
- age 15, Indiana
No. In fact, I'm not at all embarrassed to admit it if the topic comes up. It's such a universal and natural part of the male experience, why pretend it's not? Real men masturbate — it's part of the package.
- age 44, Ohio