It was with my dad when I was 11 years old. We had been at the Y, and when we were showering, he noticed I was getting hair around my penis. In the car, on the way home, he asked me if I had begun to masturbate (he used the J word) yet. I said that I sometimes played with it, but that I didn't know it had a name. So we had a long talk, and essentially, he said that it was okay, to be private about it, do it as often as I felt I needed to, and that nothing bad would happen from doing it. He went on to explain about sex, about sexual intercourse with girls, and how to be safe. He talked about homosexuality, how I might do things with other boys, and that that was okay — that I shouldn't worry about it. We had quite a long talk — maybe an hour — parked in the driveway. Since then, I have never felt any guilt, and if I had any questions, I knew I could go ask him and he would be honest with me. I am very lucky to have a dad like him.
- age 17, California
This Week's Wackiest Response:
I remember asking a chimp if he masturbated; we had quite an interesting conversation, but later it turned out the little bastard was just stalling me while another chimp stole my lunch.
- age 16, Washington
When I was in college, a rugby buddy and I read in a magazine that guys were getting paid something like $40 for each "donation" at a sperm bank. I remarked that if I got paid that much every time I masturbated, I'd be retired by now. He laughed and said he'd be a millionaire. That led to a cool conversation about how much each of us masturbated, when, where, and so on. I'm glad we had the conversation, because about a week later, he walked into my dorm room one day when I had forgotten to lock it. There I was, right in mid-stroke. We both laughed it off, but I'm glad the ice had been broken on the subject!
- age 33, California
It's kind of odd, but I was chatting with an online buddy of mine (we were 12). It was late and we were bored, so we started playing "Truth or Truth" (it's hard to do a dare online) and just asked weird questions about different things. Late into it, he said, "I don't want to sound sick or anything, but do you masturbate?" What a shock! It took me a while to finally say, "Yeah," and that night, we talked all about how we did it, and when, and why. That night I found JackinWorld, too — he showed it to me. That really opened the door to my masturbatory career.
- age 16, Michigan
It was with my boyfriend at the time — after we had graduated from college and were going to be separated for several months. He wondered how we were ever going to make it that long, and I said, "Masturbation, I guess." He was a bit taken aback, since we had never discussed it before. He was like, "Do you?" and I said, "Of course, don't you?" and he turned all red and said, "Well, yeah." We were in bed together at the time, and we ended up showing each other how we masturbate. It was a great ice-breaker — we ended up having lots of phone sex while we were apart.
- age 29, Massachusetts (female)
Last year when I was 13, I stayed overnight at my friend's house. He asked me if I ever get erections. I said yeah, and he asked what I do to get rid of them. I told him that sometimes I masturbate. He said he does the same thing. Then he told me about JackinWorld and what he had learned. He then showed me the site. We both got erections and then masturbated together. What a night!
- age 14, California
I must have been around 10 years old; it was with my cousin, who is my age. We did more than just discuss it. We used to masturbate together, and each other, all the time. This went on until we were about 16. Then we just stopped doing it together.
- age 55, Pennsylvania
I have a massager at home. I was watching TV with my friend, and she said that if you put it by your crotch for a good minute, you get a very good feeling. I told her I do that all the time. So then, we opened up to each other and talked about everything from positions to fantasies. She also told me that she uses cucumbers, and then eats them. I passed on that one!
- age 15, Canada (female)
I remember clearly the first time I discussed masturbation. I was a pre-teen; the other guy was a few years older. He told me (and showed me) how to rub my penis until a "snow-white liquid" came out. At first, I was too young to ejaculate; but in a couple of years, what he told me came true.
- age 47, Missouri
I am surprised at how many people have discussed masturbation with friends and family. I wouldn't know where to start. Are people in America more open-minded, or am I just not seeing the real picture here in England? None of my friends would ever offer to masturbate anyone, even the gay ones. The thought is mind-blowing when put into the context of my narrow minded, homophobic school (and my school is lenient when it comes to being homophobic). How could I approach anybody in that environment with questions of masturbation? I would be beaten up and classed as a reject...I'd probably have to emigrate.
- age 15, United Kingdom
I first spoke of masturbation with my uptight, repressed friend whom I grew up with in the 1950s. He denied that he did it and pretended he didn't know what I was talking about, although we were either 16 or 17 then. I knew he was lying, because I'd seen the crumpled tissues and the crusty briefs in his bedroom. However, since I was from that same repressed period, I didn't press the issue further, because that would have threatened my own "good boy" image that I valiantly preserved most of my life.
- age 61, Michigan
I can't say that I've ever talked about it with someone in person; actually, I try to avoid the subject altogether.
- age 16, Georgia
I wondered why I felt such wonderful sensations when I'd wake with a "stiffie," and I wondered what the older boys were talking about when they'd make the universal up-and-down hand motion. But I was 9 and no one had thought to explain it to me. One day, my older brother and I were out doing our chores, and I simply asked him what the boys were doing. Very clearly and with no talking down to a little brother, he explained the wonders of masturbation and how when I got a little older I'd enjoy it, too. However, when I asked about the morning stiffness, he said if I had erections, then I could join the rest of the males in a wonderful activity. It was then that he decided to show me. We went behind the barn, took off our clothes, and he very carefully showed me what to do. That was a grand start to a world of pleasure. He also explained that all boys enjoyed the act and it was natural and normal, but we should keep it private, like going to the bathroom. Because of his patience with a younger brother, I've been able to enjoy a lifetime of pleasure without the guilt that most males my age felt then and still feel.
- age 67, Texas
The first time for me was when I was 9 or 10. I walked in on my two brothers. They were both in their bedroom, naked, and had full erections. I asked what they were doing and they said they were "wanking." I had no idea what this word meant, so I asked them to explain it to me. When they said that white fluid came out of their penises, I thought they were lying. They also described an orgasm and races that they had with each other to reach orgasm. About two weeks later, I persuaded them to prove to me what they had been telling me. I found that watching them climax and ejaculate gave me an erection, but I was too scared then to try masturbating myself.
- age 15, New Zealand
When I was about 12, two of my friends and I talked about it rather awkwardly. We just asked each other if we did it and what we did. At age 12, it was very embarrassing.
- age 21, Australia (female)
I was talking to a friend on the net and we were playing 20 questions. She asked me if I masturbate, and I said yes. So, I asked her the same question, and she said she had done it hundreds of times.
- age 15, Canada
I had been masturbating for years, but this time, semen came out — my first real orgasm. As usual, rubbing my penis felt good, but I had just kept on rubbing. I was on my back and all of a sudden, I exploded with ecstasy and had semen all over my stomach and chest. Unfortunately, I felt guilty and thought something could be wrong. So I admitted to my father that I had touched myself and that "white stuff" had come out. He simply said not to worry about it. But it was quite embarrassing for me to talk with him about it.
- age 28, Ohio
My cousin just asked me over the Internet, point blank, if I masturbate. I was honest and said that I do. We went on to talk about it a lot once we found that we both do it. Since then, we have been very comfortable talking about it.
- age 18, Wisconsin
I remember that I couldn't discuss masturbation with anyone else. My father thought it was a bad thing to do. When I was growing up, he'd accuse my brother and me of "playing with ourselves" and that's why we had acne! I think he was secretly guilty about when he masturbated. I wish JackinWorld had been around when I was 14. I would have shown it to my dad.
- age 40, Ohio
When I was about 9, I talked with my two cousins. One was 13. Some friends had told him how to do it, so he taught us. We did it together for a few years until they both moved to Florida. I miss them sorely.
- age 15, Rhode Island
I was talking with a same-age friend and the conversation turned toward sexual matters. We both admitted to masturbating. We are married and still quite active sexually. Even so, masturbation has been a part of our lives throughout the years. We discussed how we had learned about masturbation. I mentioned teen sex play with male friends; this was a total surprise to him, as he had never engaged in it. He had heard "older teens" talking about masturbation and just took it from there.
- age 65, California
I remember it well because the discussion was awkward and embarrassing. The person was female and 14 — my age. At first, she wanted to embarrass me and make me blush by asking me if I masturbated while we were putting up decorations for some school event. I didn't deny it, and I hinted that I did. Eventually, she got me to come out and say it. She repeated it for a few others in the hall to hear. However, it didn't get much deeper than that.
- age 17, Wisconsin
Girls don't talk about it. When I was 14 or 15, my friend said, "Do you use your hands?" as if that were quite strange. Judging by the tone of her voice, I could tell that she wasn't into masturbating, so I just said, "For what?" "You know..." "No, what?" "Never mind." I don't think we talked openly about it until college, discussing "methods." My mom had told me about it, but she said it's something that men do. For about 5 years, I thought I was the only girl to masturbate!
- age 26, Oregon (female)
My best friend just asked one time how I do it, so I showed him. Then he asked me to do it to him. We were good friends, so I did. Then he showed me how he does it. It was the best little masturbating session in the world!
- age 17, Idaho
It was with one of my boarding school roommates in the 6th grade. We were in the "community shower" and he asked if I had ever seen "one of these." He then showed me his erection and what to do with it. I became erect and we shared the deed, which we then repeated many times. Good stuff — I'll never forget it!
- age 50, California
It was with a girl I know, a real hottie! We were talking on the phone when I got the urge to masturbate, so I started. She asked what I was doing, so I told her. So that's how we got on the topic of masturbation. After we had talked about it for a while, we masturbated together. That was so cool!
- age 15, Michigan
A schoolmate wanted to know if I masturbated, and if so, how often. I told him I did — 3 to 4 times a day. He asked in a shy way if I would show him how to do it, as he had heard about it but not actually done it. We went back to his place after school, and in the shed I stripped and showed him how to do it. He asked questions afterward such as how hard to grip and what was it like. I said the best way was to try it. He stripped and produced an enormous penis, but he couldn't quite get the rhythm, so he asked if I'd do it to him. After talking for half an hour or so, I agreed. That was the first time he had ejaculated when he was awake. We made a regular thing of masturbating together for the next couple of years until I got my first girlfriend and realized that sex was so much better.
- age 40, Queensland, Australia
I talked to my dad about masturbation. He said that it was good and that even he does it and expects me to do it.
- age 12, Australia
I was 13 when I had my first conversation about masturbation with my cousin, who was 11. We were lying on my bed on a warm summer night in just our underwear. Out of the blue, he asked me if it felt good to me to rub myself on the bed. I said yes. He asked if I ever did it, and again, I said yes, but that I usually used my pillow. Then I asked if he did it, and he said yes. I asked if he did it until he had a tickling and throbbing feeling, which he acknowledged. I asked if he wanted to do it then, and he grinned and said yes. So, we pulled our underwear off and started doing it — him rubbing on the mattress and me humping my pillow. It was a real turn-on to watch him do it, since I had never seen anyone else masturbate. After we were done we talked about it for almost two hours, telling about how we had discovered masturbation, how often we did it, how much we liked it, and whether other boys did it (we concluded that they did). It was an eye-opening discussion, and we talked about it together freely like that for years after.
- age 24, West Virginia
I was on vacation when I was 14. There was a boy and another girl on the same tour my as family. The guy brought up the subject — he asked the girl, "Have you ever masturbated?" When she said yes, I just figured, Ah, what the heck — I'll never see them again. We all talked about it for a while. Since then, I've been totally open about it. I'm glad the guy brought it up. If he hadn't, I'd still probably be afraid to talk about masturbation.
- age 16, Illinois (female)
I first discussed masturbation with my best friend at the time. We had been to the swimming baths and were talking about how big our penises were. It went on to masturbation. I remember we thought it was good that we didn't release semen yet when having an orgasm (we were both 11). The thought of releasing sperm disgusted us, as I recall.
- age 38, United Kingdom
It was just after my uncle had found me doing it on the bathroom floor. My family and my aunt and uncle all rented a house down on Cape Cod. He thought I was already in the shower, as it had been running for about 10 minutes. Afterwards, he felt horrible and asked me to go to the store with him. On the way, we talked about how masturbating is normal and then he told me about his experiences with masturbation.
- age 17, Massachusetts
When I was 13, my 11-year-old cousin and I discussed masturbation. We began by asking to make sure that, in fact, both of us did actively engage in it. Next, we determined that we were both capable of ejaculating. Next, we compared the size of our penises. His was longer, but mine was thicker. We asked each other why our erections seemed to rise up at an angle, but neither of us knew. Now, my erection is at a level 90 degrees. I wonder if his has also changed.
- age 23, Indiana
My first masturbation conversation was with a guy at summer camp (we were both 15). He was one of those poor, misinformed people who think masturbation has a physical side effect. He told me that masturbating would make my testicles grow and my penis shrink! I worried about this for a long time until I found JackinWorld.
- age 17, Connecticut
I was 11 or 12 when I discussed masturbation with a friend at school. I can't remember how it started, but we exchanged our techniques, when we do it, and where — and our fear of being caught by our parents.
- age 26, Belgium
About 3 months ago, my friend and I were chatting on the Internet. I didn't say anything for a while because I was going to the bathroom. When I got back, I said, "So," and he said, "What were you doing, j****n off?" So, I jokingly said, "HECK YEAH!" Then I asked him, "Have you ever masturbated before," and he said, "Yeah, who hasn't?"
- age 14, Wyoming
I was 13 and had an "accidental" orgasm. I told my girlfriend about rocking on a menstrual pad and that it felt better and better until.... During her next period, she just rubbed after a day of wearing a pad. We still compare techniques.
- age 40, Scotland (female)
I was talking with a girl I like (and she likes me). She asked a friend and me 3 questions: Which hand? Where? How often? My friend and I were flabbergasted that she even knew we masturbated. We answered all of her questions. This made all 3 of us closer as friends.
- age 16, Michigan
When I was around 12, my mom and I were talking, and she said that it's okay to masturbate. Maybe a year or so earlier (I can't remember for sure), I was staying over at a friend's house, and I explained to her how I masturbated. I was quite embarrassed about it, but I wanted to share masturbation because it was just too good to keep to myself. A few years later, this same friend brought it up in mixed company, and I quickly told her to shut up. The subject was dropped immediately. The first time I remember discussing masturbation with a friend of the opposite sex was when I was about 16. We were on the phone, and I was saying that I didn't have orgasms. He said that I probably was, just small ones. Later, I realized that I was having orgasms, and good ones. I just didn't know that the word orgasm applied to masturbation, too. I thought it applied only to sex.
- age 31, California (female)
About two years ago, I was hanging out with my friends and we played "truth or dare." They asked me if I had masturbated, so I told them. It was weird, but it was also a relief!
- age 14, Israel
About 3 years ago, I started to share a house with a friend of mine. I am a heavy masturbator (and I now know that he is, too). I knew that we would soon face the first time when one of us walked in on the other masturbating (he walked in on me). Rather than do the embarrassed silent routine, I took the opposite route and confronted the situation head on. We talked for about two hours about masturbation — when we like to do it, how often we do it, and what sort of restrictions we should place on ourselves. We decided that since we both like to masturbate a lot, no restrictions would be the way to go and to just respect the other when he is masturbating. We still "catch" each other, but neither of us is embarrassed by it and usually we just keep on going. And we still talk about masturbation, but now we talk about techniques and how intense the orgasm is and things like that. Both of us feel lucky to be able to discuss the topic without any of the embarrassment most people feel.
- age 25, Canada
I first talked about masturbating with my next-door neighbor when I was 9. I found him doing it and asked what he was doing. He told me and showed me how to do it. I have been masturbating ever since.
- age 14, New Mexico
I first talked about masturbation with my best male friend, age 11. We talked and talked. At last, I had an erection. He asked me to go for it, so I did — and much to my pleasure and utter astonishment, I ejaculated. He clapped his hands and was in utter awe. I was undone with amazement at the pleasure and the ability. I'm a heterosexual father of two fine boys, and my one hope is for them to enjoy their bodies guiltlessly and with as much freedom and delight as possible.
- age 53, France
Last summer on a school camping-and-sailing holiday, several of my friends mentioned that they noticed I had an erection most of the time. I said that I couldn't do anything about it and that stroking it just made it even more erect. They told me to carry on stroking it for longer until "something special" happened. When we were hiking in the forest, I hid behind a tree to try their suggestion and had my first orgasm. For the rest of the trip, I discussed freely with my friends the experiences of masturbation, and on the last day of sailing, four of us ejaculated together in a small sailing boat. It was a wonderful relief to know and to see that my friends also had erections a lot of the time.
- age 14, Finland
It may be hard to believe, but the first time I actually discussed masturbation with someone was only a year ago. I think girls are discouraged from being upfront about these issues, so for the longest time it remained a taboo topic amongst my friends — something you could joke about abstractly, but not something you could talk about in regards to personal experience, which is a shame. Anyway, I was talking about sex with a friend, and she said she considered herself a very passionate person. I asked her outright if this meant she masturbated. She blushed, so I quickly said, "Hell, I masturbate, what's the big deal?" She then admitted that she also does it — to orgasm. However, it wasn't until I met my current boyfriend that I discussed masturbation in elaborate detail — techniques, sensations, and such.
- age 18, Spain (female)
The first time was a couple months ago, actually. My best friend (a girl) and I frequently discuss sex and related issues. This particular conversation was on sex, and then very politely, she said, "I have a personal question to ask you. Do you masturbate?" I told her that yes, I do, and I really enjoy it. She said that she does as well, and from there, our conversation turned to discussing that masturbation is normal, everyone does it, how many times a day we each do it, and so on. It deepened our level of trust with each other and strengthened our friendship. I don't know whether I'd be open to mutual masturbation with her, since I view her as a sister. But I wouldn't be uncomfortable if she were to ask me.
- age 17, Virginia
I discussed it with my wife. We were having intercourse when she started masturbating. This was a real turn-on for me. After we finished, I told her how much it turned me on and then confided in her about my masturbation. She was very understanding and told me that she knows that we all need our privacy. Now, we have incorporated masturbation into our sex life.
- age 34, Pennsylvania
