For me, masturbation doesn't really compare with having sex. Personally, I prefer masturbation. Before I ever had sex with a woman, I thought it would be the best thing in the world. But afterwards, I realized I had better orgasms alone. I think I have better orgasms alone because I can practice different techniques. With sex there are limited amounts of things you can do for pleasure; with masturbation, there are millions of ways to bring yourself to orgasm.
- age 15, California
It depends. Sometimes, if your partner is inexperienced or is, for whatever reason, not "into it," a masturbation orgasm can be as intense if not more so than an orgasm from intercourse or oral sex. Incidentally, the more heart and soul you put into your masturbation sessions, the more explosive the outcome.
- age 25, Michigan
Sex surely is much more fun than masturbation. Two people being really intimate, touching each other, kissing... But I have to admit masturbation gives me great orgasms, whereas through sex I haven't had that many. Not many boyfriends seem to think it's important. However, the times a boyfriend *does* get me there, it beats masturbation.
- age 15 , Germany (female)
I'd say a good orgasm from masturbation is great, but something is missing that can be found only in sex. Even the best orgasm alone is not as comforting as having someone there with you to experience it.
- age 20, Texas
The first time I masturbate after I've had intercourse, everything is more intense. My penis is more erect and sensitive to "the motion," and my arms and legs seem to make more involuntary movements. It's harder to remain still. The orgasm is deep and more satisfying than when I masturbate at other times. This is true whether it's been a week or only hours since the intercourse. There seems to be a physical memory of the motion and effort of intercourse, the sensation of my penis entering and probing in the vagina, and the fun of exciting each other, which I do relive as I masturbate. My orgasm is an "echo" of the orgasm I had during intercourse. I seem to need both, but I wouldn't trade the "echo" for the real thing.
- age 45, Ohio
I have clear recollections of my 3 best orgasms. You know the kind where even your hair feels it? The first was with a vibrator inside my vagina while a guy was rubbing my clitoris. Wow! The second was also with a vibrator. I was trying something new. I really had to pee, and I wanted to see if peeing would enhance my masturbation experience. I went into the bathtub with my vibrator (a different one), and when I felt the orgasm coming on, I peed. Another wow! The third was a few days after the second. It was the night after the night after I'd gotten married. My new husband and I had simultaneous orgasms, which hadn't happened before or since. Still another wow! In general, I prefer masturbation orgasms to orgasms from sex or mutual masturbation. I have more control that way, and it's easier to have more than one orgasm. When I masturbate, I usually go for more than one, while with my husband (or before him with boyfriends) I usually have only one. When I'm with my husband, I'm always concerned he thinks I'm taking too long, and that his hand is getting tired or he's getting bored or something. My concerns are probably unjustified. Oh, wait! I remembered a fourth good orgasm. I was a senior in high school and my boyfriend was doing cunnilingus [oral sex] on me. I don't remember how many times I climaxed, but I know it was more than once. He told me I was gushing fluid. That was a great afternoon. So only one of those 4 was from me masturbating. Well, in general, masturbation orgasms are better than others.
- age 28, California (female)
My best orgasm is when a buddy and I masturbate together. We sometimes touch each other, but mostly we just watch each other until we both ejaculate at about the same time.
- age 18, Michigan
It might seem odd except for folks who are into tantric sex, but about 5 years ago my orgasms during partner sex changed radically. They became much longer and more intense. My orgasms during masturbation are much more focused around or tied in with ejaculating, and these tend to be brief even when they're intense. In partner sex, sometimes it seems my orgasm goes on for minutes (although it's probably not *that* long) after I've ejaculated. Some of the best orgasms I've had with a partner haven't involved any ejaculation, whereas I never "hold back" when I masturbate.
- age 34, California
I have noticed two differences between orgasm from masturbation and orgasm from sex. First, if I masturbate and ejaculate, the semen just barely comes out of my penis. However, when I "pull out" during intercourse and ejaculate, the semen shoots at least 2 feet. The second difference is in the actual feeling I get when I climax. Believe it or not, my orgasms are more pleasurable during masturbation rather than intercourse.
- age 16, Alabama
Masturbatory pleasure and what I feel when making love with another person are part of a whole spectrum of my erotic experience, interconnected and yet sometimes quite different – both in quality and quantity. With my lover, I experience a range of emotional and mental rewards, a kind of deep interpersonal communication during sex unlike anything else I know, entirely beyond words. At the same time, the erotic aspect is not always equally rewarding, as we're not always in perfect sync, which would require the kind of telepathy we *do* seem to enjoy at times. Having sex with another always involves the balance of "giving" and "receiving" pleasure, and early on I mostly just wanted to *get* pleasure, pretending I cared about giving it also. Or I tried to give pleasure as an ego-trip to feel like a fabulous lover myself. Now I've truly become my own best lover ever...the best part of masturbation being that I give and receive simultaneously in equal measure, a continual feedback loop. I frequently provide myself long intervals of pleasure more relaxed, thorough, and intense than anything I felt before; I often have orgasms more profound and rewarding than I previously knew were possible. It's accepting myself exactly as I am, plus communicating with myself better and better about what I truly like the best, which I feel also makes me a better lover.
- age 44, Texas
I have been having sex with my boyfriend (same guy) for a year and a half now. I have never experienced an orgasm by him, but I can have them on my own. He doesn't usually put very much effort into touching me before or during sex, and he will not perform oral sex on me. I usually use a vibrator when I masturbate, but the orgasms I have without one are much more intense.
- age 18, North Dakota (female)
It always varies. Sometimes my orgasms through masturbation are extremely intense. I find that if I can go slowly, enjoying myself in peace and quiet, I can go through quite a few sessions of "edging." Then when I finally let go it's the most incredible, intense feeling I can experience. Other times the ejaculation is just a simple release of tension. On the other hand, having my wife perform oral sex sets me off with indescribable ejaculations! I don't know why – there's something about being able to look down and watch myself being swallowed whole that makes the pleasure that much more intense. Yeah, I'd have to say oral sex is the most intense, followed by "edging" while masturbating, then regular intercourse.
- age 47, Nevada
There are other forms of sex?
- age 13, Florida
I've gotten poetic about the first sensation of orgasm I experienced at age 11 when wiggling my wiener. That one that got away from me and had a life of its own even after I ceased the stimulating rubbing was phantasmagoric, powerful, and ever-to-be-remembered. My first orgasm in intercourse 11 years later was disappointing in that it had none of the nuances and fearful fantasies of that initial ride to the unknown crest that hurled me into bobbing, undulating free flight of exhilarating, soaring feeling. Although I had fantasized about the "real thing" for a long time, it fell short of that "ideal" I never could forget.
- age 67, California
When my girlfriend gave me oral sex the first time, the orgasm was so mind-blowing I almost passed out. It was far better than any orgasm I've had from masturbating, even with my girlfriend, except when she helped me. We hope to have intercourse, but not until we're 16 and completely ready. She says her orgasms are better when I masturbate her, and give her oral pleasure, than when she's alone – better even than when she used her vibrator or dildo.
- age 15, New Zealand
Difficult question, because honestly, the orgasms are quite different, even between masturbating myself and being masturbated by someone. When I masturbate myself I have complete control over myself and my responses, and given that I hit my 10-year masturbation anniversary this summer (yay!), I pretty much know exactly how to please myself. Sex with someone is more random, but generally speaking it never fails to produce far more satisfying orgasms.
- age 23, Ontario, Canada
I guess I wouldn't know. I've never had sex, but I do like my orgasms I have by masturbating! Since I masturbate by rubbing my clitoris and not inserting any fingers into my vagina, I'm scared that when I do get married and have sex, I won't be able to achieve orgasm because I won't be rubbing my clitoris. Oh, well – I guess when the time comes I'll deal with it.
- age 16, Minnesota (female)
My orgasms achieved through sex are completely different from those from masturbation. One is not necessarily better than the other. Sex orgasms are the natural culmination of the "connection" and intimacy of sex. Masturbatory orgasms are more raw and (as obvious as it sounds) self-gratifying, where I can just concentrate on the sheer intensity of the release and the feeling my ejaculation's rush. I can't do without either!
- age 27, Canada
Doing it myself is not half as good as having someone do it for me. Even though that is better, nothing beats sex. You get more out of it when you are both so turned on together and it's like one big hug.
- age 18, Scotland
My most intense orgasms have happened while I was masturbating; however, I usually do not take the time for the hours of masturbation play that are required. Partner sex (when enough time is taken) ranks above my usual masturbation session. Last, I rank a quickie masturbation session over a quickie partner session.
- age 30, Oklahoma
My self-stimulation orgasms are good, but the ones achieved with my lover are much more intense and last longer. She is very skillful in making a girl climax, and she also is almost *always* multiple and goes on and on for a *long* time!
- age 18, New York (female)
Ejaculating in my girlfriend's mouth is my most wonderful experience to date. Its warmth and moistness is something I cannot create myself with masturbation. This is why my orgasms are so intense with her, and not as intense through masturbation.
- age 17, Canada
Although a lot of the physical sensations are the same, I find that an intercourse orgasm with my wife is a more complete experience – physically, emotionally, even spiritually. Masturbation can be all these things also with a good fantasy, but I find the physical sensations of the actual orgasm usually more intense during masturbation, perhaps because I can concentrate completely on my own satisfaction. In any case, the two experiences produce orgasms that are different enough that I always want both and continue to masturbate frequently no matter how many other outlets I have.
- age 35, Hawaii
I've found it extremely difficult to achieve orgasm whenever a partner tries to please me. They don't do everything the way I do, so it makes it less enjoyable. The orgasms I've had through sexual experiences don't compare to the ones I give myself.
- age 15, Washington (female)
One physical reaction – a penis or clitoris being stimulated to orgasm – varies so much depending on a complex overlay of mood, situation, time since last orgasm, whether it's the first time, attractiveness of partner, strength of fantasy, my state of health, and many other variables. There will never, ever be an orgasm to equal that first one, self-induced, when I was 8 years old. But many have come close. Some were solo and others when I was with a partner. One common thread in all of these experiences seems to be the notion of control. When I masturbate, I have nearly total control over the type of stimulation and its timing. With a partner whom I trust and love, I give up much of that control. When it gets to the point that it feels so good I can't stand it, if I'm masturbating, I think I instinctively back off so that the feeling stays strong but manageable. When I reach that same point with a partner whom I can trust and give myself up to, I also give up the ability to control the stimulation. Then the orgasm can feel much more intense, provided that all the other variables are favorable.
- age 58, New Jersey
Masturbation has definitely given me great orgasms, but even though they're just as good physically as the ones I've had through other kinds of sexual activity, they can't compare mentally. Having someone there next to you to hold you and kiss you before, during, and after is wonderful, and even though the orgasms may be better sometimes by myself, I'd much rather be with my boyfriend. Ironically, it seems that my orgasms through masturbation have become very good only since I started having other kinds of sexual activity.
- age 18, Florida (female)
Masturbation seems to me to be rather ejaculation-centered, while sex is more of an emotional full-body experience. I concentrate more just on my penis when I masturbate. I would say the two types of orgasms are totally different and fulfill distinctive needs.
- age 24, Pennsylvania
I have not had many orgasms except by masturbation. For me, though, masturbation is a time-out for myself. Other forms of sex are for sharing a special time with someone I know, care about, and trust – being able to draw really close to him by giving my body in the most intimate way I can. It's the pleasure of being able to give him so much pleasure and the fantastic feeling of being able to see and feel his orgasm. Masturbation is partly emotional but mainly physical and selfish. Sex is all emotion and about giving.
- age 14, Ireland (female)
Masturbation has not come close to great oral sex! The only time masturbation is as good is when you masturbate with a buddy.
- age 20, Wisconsin
Recently my girlfriend gave me oral sex for the first time and she was able to bring me to orgasm. Well, the orgasm was levels above anything I had experienced by masturbating myself. My body felt peaceful and satisfied for hours after our session. The orgasms I get through masturbating are certainly pleasurable, but they feel almost "routine."
- age 16, Georgia
Ive been masturbating for at least 15 years, an average once or twice a day, and have had some very intense orgasms – usually after waiting a day or two. But the orgasms I experience through sex with my wife, or especially oral sex, are a lot more intense or pleasurable than when I masturbate. I think it's because I control the movement and timing of climax while wanking. But during sex, there isn't as much control so it becomes more of an explosion, reaching higher heights, so to speak. The most intense orgasm comes from oral sex, because it takes longer and seems to build up slower, and then...Wow!
- age 27, Ohio
With masturbation you get to focus more on yourself, and when you're with a partner it's more or less supposed to be their job to please you. If your partner is someone you really like or love, and if they really like or love you, it will be better. Otherwise keep it to yourself.
- age 18, California
Best orgasms I've achieved are definitely from intercourse with women who are able to squeeze my penis with their vaginal muscles. My orgasms last much longer in intercourse compared to those from masturbation.
- age 26, Sweden
I have never had sex with anyone, but my friend and I have masturbated each other a few times. My orgasms are better when my friend masturbates me because I just lie back and enjoy it. I don't have to do any work myself. I don't know when he will go fast or slow, or when he will let me ejaculate. It's always different.
- age 14, New York
Clitoral stimulation is key since there is no such thing for females as a "vaginal" orgasm. Also, people typically know their bodies better than their partners do. Therefore, masturbation orgasms are much more intense than those from intercourse or oral sex, where there are so many more things going on psychologically. Birth control worries, body image concerns, body smells, time factors, and privacy, are just some factors that can hinder the mind-blowing orgasms that come from straight-up stimulation.
- age 19, Michigan (female)
It is really hard to compare an orgasm achieved through masturbation with one achieved through intercourse. I have been married for 4 years, and my wife and I have frequent intercourse. However, my orgasms from masturbation are often more intense. I believe this is because when I masturbate, I am in total control and can let myself go at the height of stimulation. This makes the orgasm so much more fulfilling.
- age 26, North Carolina