I would guess they masturbated when they were young, since everyone my age does now. If they told me they do now, I'd say, "Why didn't you say so sooner, so I wouldn't have to sneak around to do it? "At least I *hope* that's what I would say.
- age 14, Texas
I would be like, "Cool — so you aren't an old fuddy-duddy after all."
- age 19, Pennsylvania
I'd say, "That's great!" Then I would shudder, because it would simply sicken me.
- age 14, California
My parents probably did and still do. After all, they are only human (I think), and statistics suggest they probably do. I wouldn't mind if they were to tell me. This site has helped me realize masturbation is a normal part of human existence, and if I masturbate, I would be a hypocrite to think it's wrong for them. However, because of this British "Stiff Upper Lip" crap, they probably would never talk about it. It just is not "done."
- age 14, United Kingdom
I think they might have masturbated, but maybe "grew out of it" (which is sad). And if they came out and told me they used to masturbate, I would probably tell them I couldn't care less. I don't like talking about those types of subjects with my parents. (Kind of ironic, especially when we come here and talk to people we don't even know.)
- age 17, Oregon
I would curl up and die. Oh yeah — I'd be sick first before I fell into a hole in the ground. I can't help it, but it would be the most disgusting thing I could think about.
- age 15, Scotland
When my sons were going through puberty, the older one asked me point blank, "Dad, did you jack off when you were our ages?" I very calmly admitted, "Of course I did. I still do sometimes. Why?" Then the younger (and braver) asked if I cared that they did. I said I didn't, but to be careful who knows, because it isn't as accepted as it should be. They went to their separate rooms, apparently satisfied with my answers. I think this paved the way for them to ask other questions later, which were varied and often. They are both happily married now, so I guess I did the right thing.
- age 63, Texas
I would just start laughing and say, "Good for you — I don't care what you do!"
- age 13, Florida
If one of my parents straight out told me they masturbate, I'd never be able to masturbate again!
- age 15, Ohio
I doubt my mom does, but as for my dad, I think he masturbates as often as I do. When living with them, my dad would wake up in the morning and have this big-time erection hidden under his briefs. He'd go to the bathroom to take a dump and read the newspaper. After spending a *long time* in the bathroom, he'd come out with a noticeably limp penis. If he admitted it to me, I surely wouldn't laugh but would say "Cool!"
- age 23, Texas
Yes, I am sure they did and do...and I would ask to borrow a dildo. What else would I say?
- age 18, Vermont (female)
I am sure they masturbate, although I don't care whether they do, just as they do not care whether I masturbate. And, if they actually told me they masturbate, I would say, "That is just a wee bit more information than I wanted or needed to know! Anything *else* you want to talk about?"
- age 21, California
Get that thought out of my head!
- age 15, Maine
I would freak out! I know that my dad did because all guys do — but my mom? Sick! It's not a nice thought.
- age 16, Washington
Personally, if my parents masturbate it's their business, not mine. And if they do, so what? I do. If one of them told me, I'd go to the other one and tell them. If they didn't sort it out I would go to School Guidance, 'cause that just ain't right.
- age 14, Canada
No, no, no. My parents never did that! They are saints! Come on!
- age 17, Canada
They probably do. I've never heard them having sex, so they must be releasing all that energy some way. I don't think I'd want to know about it, though.
- age 14, Texas
I know my parents engaged in mutual masturbation. I walked in on them once when I was a teenager and saw my mom stroking my dad. I don't think they would have ever admitted to me they masturbated themselves or each other, though. They were pretty uptight about discussing sex with me.
- age 49, Washington
I don't really care and don't want to know whether they did or do. If they came out and told me I would say, "Thanks for sharing, but I don't need to know that information." Then I'd run like hell.
- age 12, Rhode Island
I dare not think about it. I'm sure my dad did, but I like to hold on to the naive thought that they're too old for that stuff now.
- age 22, Oregon
I'm not touchin' this one with a ten-foot pole.
- age 16, Pennsylvania
I think it would be cool to know my father masturbates. I don't think sex should be just intercourse. I love masturbating and do it every day. I doubt that my mom masturbates — she seems so uptight. Maybe she should.
- age 25, Tennessee
My parents are puritans! I can't imagine them even thinking about sex. I would be shocked if they said they did. God, what a mental picture that brings up. Yuck!
- age 19, Texas
They probably did, but I wouldn't know what to say if they told me. My parents think it's wrong, so they would probably say, "I did it too, but I wish I hadn't." I would probably say, "I know what the Bible says, and that's the only thing important to me." My dad would probably respect that, but my mom might get mad and tell me what the Bible "really" says. She is a Christian, but she believes her friends too quickly about what the Bible says.
- age 17, Alabama
I know my dad does because I've caught him. He was embarrassed but it cleared the air. I told him I did too. Now I masturbate anytime I want when I'm staying at his apartment, and he knows it but doesn't care.
- age 16, Texas
Guess what — my parents actually had *sex* with each other! Now they're divorced. My dad probably isn't sleeping with his wife; they sleep on opposite ends of their house. I'm sure they probably masturbate — who doesn't? But they wouldn't be creepy enough to give me details about their sex life, even if I was weird enough to ask. Besides, my mother (who raised me) has left it a private thing for me, so I'll leave it a private thing for her. Who came up with this question, anyway? Has this actually *happened* to someone?
- age 24, Florida
My dad told me he masturbates, that all guys do, and not to feel guilty about it. He gave me some towels to clean up with and puts them in with his dirty clothes so I don't have to feel weird about mom seeing them. I feel closer to my dad since he told me and I feel okay about masturbating now.
- age 13, Washington
Yes, they must masturbate! If they were to tell me, I would laugh and say, "Wow, do you want a cookie for that revelation?"
- age 16, Illinois
They probably did when they were younger, but they have sex almost every night, so they've probably found a good replacement for masturbation.
- age 14, South Dakota
My parents would *never* share this information with me, but I can answer the question from the other side. I'm a male single parent, and I've always talked openly with my son about sexual issues. About two years ago, when he was 14, I told him (as part of a longer conversation) that I masturbate. He admitted that he did, too. I think he was pretty embarrassed at first, but he also had a lot of questions, and we've discussed the subject frankly many times since. We both masturbate privately, of course, but neither of us has to worry about getting caught by the other. I'm glad I told him, because it strengthened our relationship.
- age 40, Colorado
I would say, "Then go to JackinWorld, Dad! There you can take your masturbation to a new level!"
- age 13, Missouri
I am pretty sure my father did. When I was a teen, I had an electric blanket that short-circuited and burned a hole in the blanket. I told my dad about it, and he asked if I got it wet. I didn't understand and said, "I don't wet the bed!" He got all embarrassed, said, "No, the other stuff," and walked out. It took me a couple of days to figure out what he meant. Then I had a good laugh.
- age 43, Tennessee
I cannot imagine why my parents would not masturbate. Once you start, you can't stop, and I think every male gets started either on purpose or by accident. I hear jokes from married men about it, so I am sure most married men do it just to fill in the gaps. I am not so sure about women. I think some never have gotten started — or at least a larger percentage haven't. I once walked in on my dad in the shower; he had a big erection and fumbled about hiding it. I was sure he was masturbating. There was a lot of soap foam on it and all around it. We never talked about it, though.
- age 17, Washington
Yes, my dad did, when I was 9. He told me after he caught me in the bathroom masturbating. He let me know it was normal and okay, and told me he still does it every now and then. That was almost ten years ago, and I appreciate the fact that he made me feel good about it and it wasn't something dirty.
- age 19, Texas
My father, now nearly 75: Probably when he was younger, but he was a real puritan. I doubt he did it much in adulthood, although he might have after his divorce. But he was then in his early 50s. He has never been strongly sexual. Mother, now 72: Not in early life, but she probably caught up later! I doubt she does it much now, although her husband's health is such that they no longer have sex — so she might. While sexually aware, she is also of a different generation.
- age 41, United Kingdom
Sure they did! They probably still do! My mom is 77 and recently got a vibrator for Christmas (that she asked for). She still claims — and believes — it is for massaging sore muscles and gets very defensive when we scoff at that and ask what she *really* wants it for. If my mom admitted to masturbating, I would probably just ask her, "With or without your new vibrator?"
- age 54, Minnesota
I happen to know that my step-dad masturbates, because tonight I came home and there was semen in the toilet...it was very disgusting. If my parents told me, I don't know what I'd do — probably call Child and Youth Services
- age 15, Pennsylvania
I have to say in perfect honesty that this is one of the very few things in life that I have never, ever thought about and don't really have any desire to think about it. Thanks anyway!
- age 37, Illinois