Think about it — it's more than just an issue of privacy. Would you ever say you were "caught" sitting on the toilet or taking a shower? No — you'd probably just say someone walked in on you. You would, however, say you were caught shoplifting. If masturbation isn't a bad thing (and we pretty much all agree it isn't, right?), then we shouldn't be thinking of it in terms of being "caught." If you ever "catch" yourself thinking "caught," think again, okay? -M.J.]
I don't think anyone knows — at least I hope not!
- age 14, Texas
Once, when I was 17, I was lying buck naked in my bedroom, going to town with both hands. All of a sudden my mom walked in with a load of clean clothes. She gasped and said, "What the heck are you doing?" Then, before I could say a thing, it hit her, because she turned around and walked out without saying another thing. Later that day she apologized for not knocking, but she didn't say anything else. About a week later, my dad put a lock on my bedroom door, saying I was "old enough to have a little privacy." I was actually thankful to my parents — I took it as a sign that although they were too embarrassed to openly talk about masturbation with me, they felt it was a natural thing for me to do.
- age 24, North Dakota
Nobody in my family knows I masturbate — but if they did, they'd probably be pissed. They are pretty old-fashioned about most things, and they would probably treat it like I was practicing unsafe sex or something. My parents would probably watch me very closely and question me if I ever spent more than 5 minutes in the bathroom from then on if they knew I masturbated. That's why they won't find out until I get my own place (if I ever do tell them).
- age 14, Mississippi
At the time I prayed they didn't know — but in retrospect, how the hell else would they have explained the amount of time I spent by myself in the bathroom, my bedroom, the basement, etc.? Although I've never spoken to my parents about masturbation (too embarrassing!), they're pretty hip, and I'm sure they did it (do it?) themselves and knew it wasn't "bad." My siblings knew; I got caught a few times by them.
- age 32, New York
No, I don't think anyone knows — but if my parents found out, they wouldn't care. My mother says it's okay to masturbate.
- age 15, New Jersey
My older sister knew, as bad as that was for me. She came into the garage right after I ejaculated and saw the semen and laughed and said "pervert!" --but as far as I know she didn't tell anyone. I avoided her for days after that.
- age 25, Kentucky
I think my step-brother, who sleeps below me in a bunk bed, can feel the bed shake. We have an unspoken agreement that we will tolerate each other's bed-shaking habit. However, one night when I started, he said, "Stop shaking the bed." This may just be that he was sleepy and did not want to be bothered. Also, one time after getting off in my room at around 8:30, my father walked in (after knocking) and mentioned something about how it was "hot and heavy in here."
- age 16, California
I do think my parents and my sister (who is 20 years old) know that I masturbate, because for one, I have magazines in my bedroom and in the bathroom. My sister found them just the other day; she asked me about them in a joking way when my mother was around, but my mom just laughed. The magazines are my father's, and he seems not to mind. The only fear I have is them catching me with my penis in my hand!
- age 18, Jamaica
I sometimes wonder if they do. There's no way of me knowing if they do or not. I don't think they'd have any major problem with it; I mean, everyone — even teens — needs their own space, and if we choose to masturbate, that's our decision. I don't see anything wrong with it, but I sometimes get the idea that if my parents did find out, they'd be a tiny bit surprised — maybe even upset at the fact that I beat off every now and then. I don't want them thinking I'm some sort of pervert or anything just because I masturbate.
- age 15, Florida
No, I don't think anyone in my family knows I masturbate. My cousin might know because when he lived with us last summer, and I masturbated under the covers. If my dad found out he would be mad but understanding, because he told me he had a "problem" with masturbating when he was a teen.
- age 14, Washington
My brother definitely does, because we shared a room until I was 16 (he is one year younger than me). He mentioned hearing sounds at night and said he wondered what they were. Then one day (after we had both moved out and were back for the holidays), I did it right in front of him after discussing the subject in general, and he said he didn't have a problem with it.
- age 27, Ohio
When I'm in my room masturbating and the door is closed, sometimes they knock on the door and ask what I am doing — but they never suspect that I am masturbating. My parents don't think I would do such a thing.
- age 16, Michigan
I'm sure my mom knew. When I first started masturbating, I just used the rubbing-on-the-pillow method. I did it with my underwear on, so I quickly went from a little spot to a huge stain on every pair in just a few months. I remember my mom commenting that I was at the age where boys start to masturbate. Yeah, like I hadn't been doing it for years already! I don't know if she thought I was having wet dreams or masturbating, but I guess she was trying to tell me it was okay. I wish my dad had said something like a year or two earlier, to let me know what it was going to be like and what to expect. That would have saved me a lot of guilt. You young kids here don't know how lucky you are to have this site to come to and find out the real deal about masturbating.
- age 44, Arkansas
I assume my mother knows, because she knows that all guys do it, and I assume my father knows because he used to be 17 too! I bet they are okay with it. It could be worse — I could be doing drugs or something harmful.
- age 17, Massachusetts
My stepmother is driving me crazy! Ever since she found a couple of magazines and a jar of Vaseline that I used to keep in my room, she thinks I am masturbating every time I am alone for more than 5 minutes. I do masturbate pretty often — maybe twice a day if I'm lucky — but not usually when SHE thinks I'm doing it. She will push open the bathroom door when I am in the shower to ask if I need more towels or pound on the door and say, "Are you all right in there?" when I am on the toilet. My friend stayed over and we went to bed early; she stood outside my door and said, "What's going on in there? It's awfully quiet!" We really WERE doing a little sexual exploration at the time, so she scared the crap out of us both. She got me so paranoid when I masturbate in bed at night that the whole time I'm doing it I am sure she's got her ear to the door. She is always opening my door to tuck me in when I least expect it, and I think I'm a little too old for that! I know she is trying to catch me masturbating.
- age 15, Indiana
My older brother caught me three times in one day. The first time he just looked at me and smiled. The second time he said, "Again already?" The third time he said he hoped I didn't get a blister on it. What he didn't know was that he DIDN'T catch me the other four times! He told me later that he used to masturbate that often too, but since he goes to work right after school, he doesn't have much free time. And I was wondering if he did at all.
- age 14, Texas
As of now, I don't think anyone in my family knows I masturbate. Sometimes I am in the shower for long periods of time, or have my bedroom door locked in the middle of the day, and if someone knocks and asks why it was shut, I just say, "I don't know — I just shut it when I came in." But I could be wrong, and my parents could be just being polite and letting me do whatever I want to do. If they found out, I don't think they would even say anything anyway! My parents are pretty cool about just leaving me alone.
- age 14, Delaware
Yes, my father found out. He found out by "the talk" that all fathers give one time and another. He asked me, and I answered. He is all right with it, so I'm okay with it.
- age 14, California
I think my mom walked in on me once, and I got my pants up pretty quick. I don't know for sure that she knew what I was doing. She never said anything, but I don't think she was too happy about it.
- age 16, Michigan
I was brought up in a single-parent house. At the time I didn't think my mother knew, but looking back she must have known. While I was never caught openly, she did come into my bedroom while I was masturbating under the covers. I must have looked guilty, but she didn't ever say anything. My grandparents knew for sure; I used to get lectured about the damaging effects. They once told me that all the men in the mental institution play with themselves, and that if I did the same, I would end up there, too. Imagine what was going through my head when I didn't do too well at school! I also needed glasses, so I thought I was making myself blind as well. Strangely enough, I didn't stop. It wasn't till I was 16 that I found out masturbation is normal!
- age 32, Australia
No one in my house knows I masturbate, and thank God. If my mom found out, she'd flip! She thinks that masturbation is a sin and should not be done at all, much less as often as I do it.
- age 15, Pennsylvania
I am sure my mom and dad knew I masturbated. I always had the Vaseline in my room. My dad once accused me of "greasing up"; I can't remember what brought that on. He caught me naked on the back porch one afternoon, too. I hadn't started masturbating yet (I was getting ready to, though). They never really made a big deal about it, but they were never supportive, either. When I say supportive, I mean they never talked about it, told me it was normal, etc. I will do that with my boys.
- age 29, Kentucky
My parents both knew, and so did my brother. I shared a room with my brother (seven years older) up until the time he left for college, and we both were fully aware whenever the other was masturbating (or had just done it — the smell of semen always gave it away). My mom came to me privately once when I was 13 or so and said that she and my Dad thought I was masturbating too much. What an idiotic thing to say! My dad, on the other hand, caught me several times (and I caught him too!), and he always told me there was nothing in the world wrong with what I was doing. He told me to enjoy it, always. He even shared some of his techniques with me. What a cool dad!
- age 36, California
I'm pretty sure my mother knows, only because of some mistakes I've made since I started masturbating. The most common is when I masturbate in my room and then go back out and forget to zip my fly back up. When she sees that, she usually makes some smart remark, and that's it. On one occasion after being told my fly was unzipped, I went into the bathroom and noticed a stain on my briefs that was pretty obvious. Another is when she walks into my bedroom, and even though I'm under the covers, you can tell my hands are over my penis. With those and the dozens of things I've done in the past and forgot about, I'm almost positive she knows. I guess she accepts it, but I'm not sure, because I've never been caught in the act (and hope never to be). I don't understand how any parents can be upset about kids doing it. Embarrassed would be understandable, but when I hear stories of parents telling their kids never to do it again, I can't believe it.
- age 16, Ohio
My folks had another baby three years ago, and I had to give up my room and move in with my older brother. We had never gotten along very well, because we are complete opposites. I was a skinny 13-year-old thrasher with shoulder-length hair who liked grunge, and he was a muscular 17-year-old jock with a buzz haircut who liked rap. But after about three months we found out we both loved to masturbate, and that brought us closer together. When I first moved in, at night I could hear him breathing loud and his bed would hit up against the wall in a steady rhythm. It wasnÕt too hard to figure out what he was doing, so I guessed he could hear me every time I did it. One night I was masturbating as quietly as I could, and he switched on his lamp and said, "Look — I know you masturbate, and you know I do. I'd rather do it with the lights on so I can get off looking at pictures or something." From then on, we did it every night with the lights on in full view of each other.
- age 16, Washington
My twin sister is the only one who knows I masturbate. One time she told me how she defended me to some of her girlfriends. They had said that all boys masturbate, and she told them that her brother would never do anything like that. I just stared at her and said, "I masturbate three or four times a day, and I like it so much I would do it 12 hours a day until I passed out if I could!" She put her hands over her ears and almost ran out of the room. She must have felt the same as when you find out your parents actually have sex!
- age 14, Michigan
I was really worried about being caught, until one day my dad just walked in on me when I was naked in the bed with my penis in my hand, and he smiled at me and said maybe I should be more careful, because he could hear me moaning. Then he asked if I wanted to borrow his special lube; I felt a glowing red blush but said thanks. He came back in with a jar of something he said he mixed himself. He just winked and left. Now I masturbate all the time without worrying. What a relief! I guess he uses it, too, since he isn't married and doesn't have a girlfriend at the present. Why else would he have it?
- age 16, Oklahoma
There's no doubt they know. You'd have to be pretty slow not to realize that your 15-year-old son, who sits in front of the computer in a locked room, and with Kleenexes filling up the garbage, masturbates. I'm pretty sure they're okay with it, since it's a natural part of a boy's life. As long as they respect my space and privacy, and as long as I don't get carried away, I think we'll never "have an argument" about it.
- age 15, Canada
I shared a room with my brother (2 years younger), and we often caught each other. More embarrassing was the fact that my mother knew. With no father around the house, my mother tried to be the "open-minded" type. When I was 13, I got home from school one day and found a tube of hand lotion and a brochure titled "Why Teens Masturbate" lying on my bed.
- age 19, Wisconsin
I'm pretty sure my mother knows. I keep various pornographic materials in my bedroom, which she must have seen at some point in time. I don't think she really cares too much. She's very liberated and has the "if it feels good, do it" attitude. I think if she ever walked in on me masturbating, she'd just quickly apologize and close my bedroom door. And for a bit of information, just in case it's important, I am female — and I don't care what people may say, masturbation is an incredible pleasure for girls.
- age 14, Rhode Island
When I was a lad back in the 1930s, a person would have been appalled to even hear another speak the word "masturbation." I grew up in a quaint little town in New York where the wheat grew as high as the girls grew wide, and nobody knew what us youngsters did back then. It wasn't until my grandson introduced me to JackinWorld that I begin to learn more about myself, and I'm proud to say that today I am in my masturbation prime. My wife passed away a few years ago, so currently nobody is aware of my habits — except the neighbors in my condo. I have been extremely noisy on occasion, and I've noticed some not-too-kind looks on their faces.
- age 73, Florida
My dad and brothers know. My dad is a single guy who adopted 4 boys; the oldest is 22 and the youngest is 9. Dad always talked honestly with us about everything, including sex. He explained that sex is a beautiful thing to be shared by two people in love. He also explained that masturbation was a normal and healthy part of growing up. He let us know it was okay to do and not to feel guilty about it. One day I asked how much was too much in a day, and he said, "As many as you want." When I told him I did it 2-3 times a day, he said, "That is fine. So long as you enjoy it, the number is up to you." My brothers have discussed how often and which ways we like to do it. They are pretty much like me when it comes to frequency and the ways to do it.
- age 19, Ohio
No, I don't think anyone knows. With most of my family, we have quite an open relationship, and we frequently joke about things of a sexual nature (from making fun of the president to the size of a women's breasts). But masturbation never comes up. When I masturbate, I make sure NO ONE is home, or I do it at night when my parents are asleep. I don't have any siblings, but I wish I did so I would have someone to talk with about it! I can't honestly say what my family would think, but I don't plan on finding out! I have such a good relationship with almost everyone in my family (unlike most kids my age), and I don't want to spoil that.
- age 14, Ohio
I know that my mother knew I masturbated, because she caught me at it once or twice. I think she also noticed the evidence on the sheets after I started to ejaculate around age 12. (It took me a while to figure out that I could use tissue to clean up my semen. Until then, I used my bed sheets.) Mother strongly warned me not to do it. It was wrong, she said, although she didn't have a detailed explanation of why. Only once did she resort to the suggestion that I might not have so many pimples if I would stop. By then, I had already found resources in our encyclopedia, the school library, and the good old Boy Scout handbook that assured me that I would not hurt myself — athough they encouraged me to "conserve my energy." This was in the mid 1950s. My father never once discussed masturbation or anything else involving sex with me. Nor did my brother and I discuss it. I know that he did it, though, because one day I found a rag that he used to wipe up his semen. He had left it on his dresser, and I recognized the smell.
- age 56, New Jersey
When I was about 14, my father asked me if I played with myself. When I said yes, he gave me all sorts of stuff about how my brain would rot, etc. I didn't argue, didn't stop, and still have an intact brain!
- age 65, Maryland