Those in favor of teaching masturbation cite as reasons helping kids to see they are like many others, strengthening kids' self-esteem, and helping kids avoid guilt and isolation bred by ignorance. Many think the family is the best setting for teaching about masturbation but acknowledge that many parents are either too embarrassed or ill-informed to be able to do a good job of it.
A few responses advocated teaching that masturbation for some is a lifelong practice that exists alongside adult sexual relationships. However, only one response suggested teaching that masturbation is a respectable practice on its own merit and not just a way of learning about your body and practicing for partner sex or a substitute for partner sex when the partner isn't available.]
Masturbation should be included in school sex-education classes to show it is not dangerous or harmful and is a normal part of becoming an adult. It would have to be approached very carefully, though, as it could cause embarrassment. Boys and girls should be separated, because they might not be comfortable talking about it in front of each other. It should be taught to children 13 and older who are beginning to have sexual feelings and who are old enough to understand what it means.
- age 18, United Kingdom
Teaching masturbation would help us understand why we masturbate. I wonder at times why I enjoy masturbating so much — but since it was not taught in school, I am not exactly sure why I do it. I love to masturbate, even more than I like to have sex, and I wonder why. I also want to know why I even prefer getting masturbated to intercourse. What kinds of effects can masturbation have on our lives? What does it represent in a consenting relationship? If I could answer these questions I would understand masturbation better.
- age 28, California
I'm from the Netherlands, and we are "taught" about masturbation in school. It's part of life, and a lot of schools here think so, too. Of course, we aren't taught the details. We are taught what masturbation is, both male and female, and that's it. Why not? After all, masturbation is natural and purely biological.
- age 17, The Netherlands
Masturbation should be taught as part of health and reproductive education. Although this sort of teaching should be done at home, parents all too often are too embarrassed (they shouldn't be) or are not very informed themselves. If children are not given accurate information and encouraged to be comfortable with their bodies, functions, and urges, it could foster deep-seated issues later in life. I know. My parents covered the "scientific and biological" aspects of how reproduction works, but never dealt frankly with topics of homosexuality, bisexuality, and masturbation. As a result, most of what I learned about these topics came from locker-room banter — not a very accurate source. So I always felt I was abnormal because I masturbated frequently. Little did I realize that most of my peers did it as much or more than I did. This obsession with masturbation — who does what, am I normal, etc., continues to be a distraction many years later. Thanks for letting me rant!
- age 25, Massachusetts
I believe teaching masturbation techniques to 12-13 year olds could prevent many teen pregnancies. What masturbation is, and some techniques, should be taught through visual aids. And, as extra credit for the class, students should come to JackinWorld!
- age 13, Colorado
My 14-year-old daughter recently asked me what a clitoris is, and I thought it a good opportunity to discuss masturbation with her. The schools do have "sex guidance" classes but haven't yet covered the topic of masturbation. I must concede, I found it quite difficult to answer her questions, such as, Do I masturbate? When do I do it and where? Do I do it alone or with her father? What happens? How long does it take? So, yes, I say it probably should be discussed (not taught) in open forum at school from the age of 12 between peers with the guidance of a teacher or parent.
- age 42, United Kingdom (female)
I think it should be talked about in school, but not taught. It is a personal experience, and I would be highly embarrassed to be taught about it in school.
- age 15, New York
"Parents don't want their kids to know anything
about sex. If they only realized...."
As a teacher, I am not sure about this question. Yes, students need to know they are not the only ones in the world who have discovered this special pleasure, and that enjoying it doesn't mean they are gay or perverted. But most kids don't need to be taught how to do it. The kids should probably receive this information in the 4th or 5th grade at the same time girls get their puberty talk. But I sure wouldn't want to be the teacher faced with teaching this subject. Too many parents don't want their kids to know anything about sex. If they only realized....
- age 35, California
Masturbation should be taught by a peer-support program (run by older students and not by teachers), because students would feel more comfortable talking to peers about it. It should probably be introduced around age 12 or 13, but this is debatable. Basically, they should discuss the content of this Web site.
- age 15, Australia
It should be incorporated into existing sex-education curricula in an age-appropriate manner. The national guidelines from the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS — www.siecus.org) include masturbation as one of the topics that should be covered in comprehensive sexuality instruction in schools. If anyone is curious, the Unitarian Universalist Association (a religious organization) has developed sex-education materials that follow these guidelines and that include masturbation as a topic. (See http://www.uua.org/owl/what.html.)
- age 18, California
Yes, yes, YES! Even a mention in 8th-grade sex education would be okay. Introducing it in *any* way would be good as long as it's not the typical "playing-with-yourself-is-evil-and-you-will-go-to-hell" speech.
- age 14, Maryland (female)
No, masturbation is too personal an issue. The last thing you need is people telling you what is supposedly "normal" regarding masturbation. Kids are smart enough to work things out for themselves.
- age 18, United Kingdom
Masturbation should be first mentioned around the tender age of 8 or 9. I know that one of my high school friends started to masturbate before he was 10 — at least, that's what he told me. I guess the best way would be to first (before age 11) just tell what it is and that everyone does it. Later, there could be some pictures of how to do it (like the pictures of how to take a grip of a penis here at JackinWorld), or even a cartoon or animation of how to do it.
- age 33, Finland
Masturbation should be something people aren't required to learn in school. The topic shouldn't be forced on everybody. In sex education we saw a video that said, "Masturbation — handling yourself — is perfectly normal." That was the only thing we learned about masturbation during the unit, and I felt that was all that should have been taught.
- age 13, California
There's far too much religious negativity surrounding the subject of masturbation, so it should be given a wide berth — or at least just barely touched upon. It's similar to the prayer-in-school issue: A small but loud minority is against it, so in many places it isn't allowed. It just makes fewer ripples that way, makes fewer people mad.
- age 18, Tennessee (female)
Masturbation should be taught, but not too thoroughly (perhaps have a box of pamphlets available, or give the JackinWorld URL, but nothing graphic), and certainly not below age 14 or so. Someone caught me masturbating during a school French trip, and though I can name 10 people off the top of my head who do it regularly, I'm the laughing stock of the entire school.
- age 13, United Kingdom
"Preaching abstinence is the surest way
to encourage teen pregnancy."
Masturbation should be taught in the context of discussing a wide range of sexual practices other than intercourse. Despite what all the pontificating hypocrites keep insisting, preaching abstinence is the surest way to encourage teen pregnancy and the spread of deadly diseases. What has been shown to work is to present all the options along with their associated risks, and to encourage young people to choose satisfying, low-risk activities such as masturbation and petting. In Europe, this approach has led to reduced incidence of abortion and STDs, as well as an increase in the age of first intercourse — exactly the result the moral hypocrites (as well as our public health officials) are looking for. And kids who receive this kind of information probably enjoy better mental as well as physical health.
- age 39, California
I do think masturbation should be introduced, but only to mature children. I think that around 5th or 6th grade it should be taught, because children need to be aware of masturbation and not think it is some inhumane or disgusting act. Also, it should be approached by starting with self-pleasure and self-esteem. I believe all kids should be taught masturbation and its benefits, because they have a right to know what is around them, what they can do for pleasure, and that they have a choice of whether or not to masturbate.
- age 13, New Jersey (female)
It shouldn't be taught at all.
- age 18, United Kingdom
No, just as sexual positions should not be taught. But if the school is going to teach us about STDs, pregnancy, and how to avoid them, why not teach us there is a 100% effective method that will prevent the spread of both?
- age 19, Ontario, Canada
As strange as this may be, when I was in the 6th grade and going through the "family life" unit, after the discussion of nocturnal emissions, two of the teachers said that both males and females masturbate, and they explained it. They also said all males do it — I think to make us feel okay about it. They also told us how to masturbate — of course, not in detail, but just enough for us to get an idea of what it was. So yes, I do think it should be taught, because it made me feel much more comfortable about something I already did even though I had no idea what it was called.
- age 15, California
Teachers shouldn't avoid masturbation when talking about sex, or be made to feel they have to avoid it. Nor should we have to stress it. Just mention the basics of sex in middle school, mention that it feels nice when both partners love each other, and that boys and girls often can approximate those nice feelings by touching their own genitals. This is a volatile age, and some kids enjoy making others uncomfortable by making really graphic comments. Separating boys and girls would help, but some girls know all about masturbation before 6th grade, and others don't even try until they're 18. How are you going to get everybody equally comfortable talking about it? By high school, girls should be told that boys continue to masturbate through life, even in marriage, and not to stress about it! Much as I would have liked to watch a boy demonstrate, I don't think many schools could handle it. And I would have been really embarrassed if any boy I knew had shown a class how he masturbated, or if a teacher had even described it.
- age 37, Oregon (female)
What would be the point? Everyone discovers it in their own way, so why should they teach you about it in school? They don't teach you how to squeeze spots or how to shave, do they? When it comes along, you learn as you do it.
- age 14, United Kingdom
In our society masturbation is an integral part of most people's adolescence. As such, the issue should be addressed in the sex-education unit in health or physical-education classes. Like this site, such education could serve to dispel rumors and make people feel better about themselves and their habits. Grade 8 seems about the right age, since this is when people are most likely to discover masturbation. Regarding the approach to teaching, I don't feel demonstrations are necessary. The extent of the teaching should be to define masturbation without explicit details, to address the issue, and to let adolescents know this kind of behavior is quite common and completely natural. I'm sure the students can handle the rest of the learning on their own.
- age 24, Canada
I'd rather not think of a teacher teaching me how to masturbate, or even just telling me about it.
- age 16, Belgium
I don't think masturbation techniques need to be taught; however, the general topic should be taught around age 13 that it is a normal, and even healthy, thing to do. By the way, I am a teacher.
- age 34, New Jersey
It should be taught in school, at about age 14. It would be good to tell things like what it is, basically how you do it, and that it's not harmful and perfectly normal. In my school they have taught almost nothing about it, so I must thank JackinWorld (and the Internet) for what I know.
- age 14, Finland
Knowledge of masturbation should definitely be made available to everyone who is just entering puberty. The best solution is to have computers available with JackinWorld as the target site. The students could visit at their convenience, alone, and then write a short paper as a critique of the site. They wouldn't have to say whether they were practitioners, just what they think of the site. This way it would be introduced, and they could form their own opinions without any peer pressure or teacher pressure.
- age 65, Texas
I didn't know what masturbation was until a friend told me. People should be able to learn and experiment with it at the same time. They should teach it with the sex-education unit. Sex education is taught around 7th grade, which is when a lot of people try masturbating, anyway. It would be important for teachers not necessarily to encourage it but to tell kids it isn't bad. It would definitely answer a lot of embarrassing questions for people.
- age 15, Washington (female)
Here in Norway, masturbation isn't mentioned much at school. The only masturbation reference I ever read was something like, "If you move the skin on your penis, you might ejaculate." This was in a book that had a whole chapter on sexuality, by the way. Most kids figure out how to masturbate. So I think schools should teach kids that masturbation is normal, that one should not feel guilty about it, and that it's a healthy and normal part of sexuality.
- age 18, Norway
In my school district we are required to take health-education classes in both 7th and 10th grades. We are taught about everything from drugs to sex to dealing with relationships, and yet the word "masturbation" is never mentioned once (except maybe for a couple of snickering guys in the back). I think that if the teacher were to at least discuss masturbation — like tell what it is — then maybe it wouldn't be such an untouchable subject. It would let people know they are not the only ones who masturbate, instead of making them feel like outcasts.
- age 16, Kansas
As a fourth-grade public school teacher I feel the answer should be YES! These children are not too young to understand, and from occasionally eavesdropping on their conversations I can tell that some are already becoming curious about sexual issues. These children see and hear so many sexual references that many seem to be almost expert. It is natural for children of this age and even younger to be curious about sexual issues. They deserve a chance to have their questions and curiosities answered in an honest and direct way appropriate for their age level. Masturbation would not be such a difficult issue in our society if children were taught from an early age that it is a normal part of human development.
- age 25, California
In my school we were taught about masturbation — how it was perfectly natural, and even a couple of techniques. That was nice.
- age 17, United Kingdom
"Schools would be forced to create a
morals-free, anti-religious setting."
No. Sex is closely tied to ethics and beliefs. It would be unfair to parents trying to raise their children according to their beliefs or traditions. Schools would be forced to create a morals-free, anti-religious setting. It's the parents' job to teach their kids about masturbation, because no one will have as pure motives, or care as much about the well being of their children.
- age 24, Ohio
In the 7th grade, my human biology book had a part on puberty. It said that some boys and girls masturbate and some don't, and that it's okay to be either one. I think that's as far as it should go.
- age 14, Colorado
Hell no! What if there were students who didn't masturbate and don't want to masturbate? Also, what if it is against someone's religion? This is a private subject, not something to be spread around the whole school for everyone to know.
- age 15, Pennsylvania (female)
Sexual education covers intercourse, scientific processes, STDs, and social issues. It talked about semen production, wet dreams, and ejaculation, but did not relate directly to simulation and masturbation. As a curious kid I discovered on my own the gift of being able to simulate myself healthily — but I find it personal. I think perhaps they should cover masturbation in high school, when people are generally more mature — but by then, who doesn't know about masturbation? (Most of them would have had their nocturnal emissions by then, I suppose.)
- age 15, Taiwan
Yes masturbation should absolutely be taught! It would take away the feeling of shame that some have. And it would teach them that it's natural and that everybody does it. I am a teacher in junior high (ages 13 to 16) and talk to them about the subject from age 13. I have also given the JackinWorld address to the class so that whoever wished could check it out.
- age 33, Norway
I learned from a friend the hard way. He laughed at me because I didn't know what masturbation is. I think it should be taught in middle school. Instead of reading about it in the health book (the one paragraph where they talk about it), they should have a whole class on it.
- age 15, Georgia
Very definitely, kids should be taught the accurate facts about masturbation starting in grade school, since that's when most kids begin hearing about it and many begin practicing. It would probably work better and be less embarrassing for the kids if boys and girls were instructed separately. But all kids should be taught that masturbation is a natural, healthy practice, and it should be encouraged as a means of pleasing yourself and knowing yourself better. Masturbation should not be considered an alternative to "real sex" but a special and worthy form of sex for its own sake. Of course it IS a much better alternative to premature involvement in sexual relations with others (which peer pressure often pushes kids into too soon) and is ALWAYS better than unsafe or promiscuous behavior. But masturbation can be far more than a preparation for lovemaking with others, serving as a means of self-empowerment and self-validation, by which many people enjoy some of their most intense erotic pleasure ever. You're in charge, and that's where it all starts!
- age 44, Texas