From just after my 14th birthday to just before my 20th birthday I was desperately in love with my right hand, my pillow, and the mattress. My frequency was somewhere near 3 times per day at age 14 and perhaps once a day at 20. My girl then (finally) succumbed to her libido, so precariously kept in check by fear of pregnancy (well, it *was* 1959), and we entered nirvana together one early evening on a public beach with no regard for who might have wandered by. From that day to our wedding, my masturbation frequency declined as our lovemaking increased and on our honeymoon, my bride made it very clear that she expected *every* drop of sperm to be reserved for her (and I was glad to do this). I must admit that when her period interrupted our frantic sexual activity for about 5 days, I took the teenager's option of masturbation under the shower. When my wife reached menopause, her libido gradually decreased to the point that at age 55, she explained that she no longer wished to indulge in sexual intercourse, as she no longer desired it or enjoyed it. I agreed to this, and her understanding of my continuing need for regular sexual release was and still is deeply appreciated. She has no objection to my activities in bed, or in the shower when I am "busy" as she calls it. She washes my clean-up rag as required and reminds me when the shower baby-oil bottle needs replenishment.
- age 65, Australia
This Week's Wackiest Response:
Since I was 15 I have been in the same relationship: It involves my penis and my right hand. Recently, however, my left hand became involved in this relationship, too. As a consequence, my masturbation frequency has increased, as has the number of times I shake hands with myself. Those are the only kind of relationships I am aware of. Are there others?
- age 63, Michigan
When I have been in a sexually active relationship, it has increased my frequency of masturbation, for the sole reason that recent sexual activity spawns erections and there's no sense in wasting a good erection.
- age 45, New Jersey
I am in a relationship now, and my girlfriend doesn't care whether I masturbate. Sometimes she does it for me. It hasn't bothered us and I don't think it will.
- age 14, Ohio
I've never been in a sexual relationship, but the way things are going now, I doubt if my masturbation frequency would be affected if I were. I've spoken with some male friends of mine and they say that masturbation and sex are completely different and they masturbate about as often when in a relationship as they do when they are not.
- age 23, Iowa
I masturbate more when I am in a relationship. My girlfriend and I masturbate together or have protected sex. When I'm not with her, I'm thinking about her and the things we do, and that makes me horny, so I need to masturbate. We sometimes masturbate together online with our Web cams.
- age 14, Virginia
My relationship has affected my masturbation frequency because if my girlfriend masturbates me, she knows whether I have masturbated that day by the consistency of my semen. So, sometimes I can't masturbate because she gets angry.
- age 22, Connecticut
Since I've had a sexual relationship with my girlfriend, I haven't needed to masturbate nearly as much as before — we have sex 5 or more times a week.
- age 16, California
I do not think my masturbating has affected my relationship at all. In fact, it has probably intensified my feelings for my partner, since he is now the focus of my sessions. My frequency has not diminished any, but rather my fantasies and focus have been on him. Therefore, sexual relationships with him have become only better and more erotic than ever before. My relationship with him has moved to a more personal and intimate level, rather than being just sexual. My partner and I have been together for over two years. I believe that masturbation is personal, but I have included my partner in these sessions as well. It brings us closer together for me to include him in something as personal as my masturbation. Whether hetero- or homosexual in nature, masturbation is a personal matter, but it can be very intimate and erotic to include your partner.
- age 36, Kentucky
My girlfriend and I have been together since we were 14 and now at 17, we usually have sex several times a week. I would say that as our relationship has evolved, I have gone from masturbating 4 or 5 times a week when I was younger to maybe once or twice a week now. She doesn't have a problem with my masturbating, but now we are more focused on pleasing each other through intercourse.
- age 17, Florida
I've been lucky enough that, in the few relationships I've had, the women have been very aggressive sexually. Because of this, my sexual needs were fully met and I had no reason or desire to masturbate.
- age 38, Illinois
I have never been in a sexual relationship before, but I can tell you this, sex will never affect my masturbation frequency. Masturbation has been with me since my early teenage years, and sex hasn't even shown up yet. If I had to choose between having sex and masturbating, I am certain I would choose masturbating.
- age 16, Texas
My masturbation frequency has been affected by relationships because my girlfriend masturbates in front of me and it turns me on, so I join her, but when I do it myself, it doesn't thrill me anymore. When we have intercourse, I get the same thrill as masturbating with her, but again, I don't feel the urge to masturbate alone because doing it with a female is just so good. The feeling of various body parts and the lubrication is just amazing.
- age 18, Sweden
This year, I started to hang out with people, where before, I had been considered anti-social. When I had fewer friends, I would masturbate at least once a day. When I got more friends and less free time, I went from masturbating at least once a day to doing it no more than once a week.
- age 15, Massachusetts
I masturbate just as much now as I did when I was a teen — probably more because porn is now available on the Internet. My wife knows I do it and doesn't care. She thinks something is wrong with me (jokingly) because I am always so horny. Sometimes, we have a lot of sex; at other times, we don't do it as much. When we have a lot of sex, I usually masturbate once or twice a day in addition. When we are not having as much sex, I find time to masturbate 3 and often 4 times a day. I'm home a lot by myself, but I even do it at work sometimes.
- age 28, Georgia
Well, I've only been in one sexual relationship so far. When I was a virgin, I masturbated 3 or 4 times a week on average — sometimes more, sometimes less. After I lost my virginity, my boyfriend and I were doing it every night for the first little while (because it was new to both of us), and eventually settled down to two or three times a week. I enjoyed it a great deal, reached orgasm every time, and since we had sex about as often as I had masturbated before, I only got myself off once a week, if at all. However, my boyfriend remained in the habit of masturbating almost every night, just out of habit.
- age 15, Florida (female)
As a young teen, I masturbated once a day or more; back then, I could masturbate successfully whenever I wanted. As I grew into my 20s, fell in love with a girl, and married her, my masturbation frequency went down, but it didn't stop altogether, even though I found our sexual relationship quite satisfying. After several years of marriage, I began to recognize and accept my bisexual nature, so my masturbation frequency increased as I tried to manage my homosexual urges; yet I still enjoyed having orgasms whenever my wife and I made love. Later in life, having had diabetes for about 10 years, I began to lose my erection after becoming aroused — both in sex with my wife and when masturbating; so I started to use Viagra to help me stay erect until I could climax. I now masturbate between 5 and 7 times a week and have sex with my wife about once a week. It takes me longer to recharge after an orgasm now, so I usually don't masturbate more than once a day. And because my hand stimulates my penis more than my wife's vagina, I abstain from masturbating for a few days before we make love.
- age 62, New Jersey
The total number of orgasms per week stays the same; masturbation frequency depends on how horny the spousal unit is.
- age 37, Minnesota
I remember before I started having sex that masturbation was great. Now that I have lost my virginity and I am in a relationship, masturbation is still great, but I crave and want sex far more.
- age 17, Alabama
It has been reduced a bit. I used to masturbate at least once a day, but since I married, it's been around 5 times a week with one or two orgasms coming from sexual intercourse with my wife.
- age 35, Illinois
My masturbation frequency is greatly affected by the presence of a sexual relationship. When my ex-boyfriend and I started having sex, I naturally just masturbated less. The strange thing is that it's not like I was having sex as often as I usually masturbate. Normally, I masturbate every day, but I was having sex at most only once a week. The urge just kind of went away, though. I didn't feel guilty about it or anything; I just didn't feel like masturbating as often.
- age 17, Minnesota
I've been married for 20 years, and been a dad for almost 11 years. I don't get to masturbate as much as I would like because it is hard to find the privacy or alone time to do it. I tend to take a while to finish, so I can't just duck in the bathroom for a few minutes. Besides, the quality of the experience matters to me. I love having sex with my wife, but sometimes you just want to play with it yourself. Almost every day I have a time when I think, "If I were alone, I'd go masturbate now." But I'm not that open with my wife, and all of the stuff that needs doing every day gets in the way, too. I love masturbation, and it's one of the frustrating things in my life that I don't get to do it whenever or wherever I feel like it.
- age 49, Oregon
In my previous relationship, we both still lived at home and didn't have a chance for proper sexual encounters more than once or at most, twice a week; so I masturbated on my own as much as I'd previously done (two to four times a week). Now I have a boyfriend who is also one of my housemates, which means we have daily opportunities for sexual intimacy. However, the proximity makes me crave sexual release even more frequently. When we go without it even for a day or two (my boyfriend is extremely stressed due to his grad course and this affects his libido), I start to feel "unfulfilled." He's an irresistible guy and sharing the same living space with him makes me horny 24/7. Whenever he's not up for it (literally), I go ahead and masturbate, which doesn't bother him — in fact, he recently bought me a vibrator! (On the flipside, he has only reverted to self-pleasure a handful of times since we've been together, and that was only when I left the country for 4 weeks.)
- age 20, United Kingdom (female)
I expect that a sexual relationship would make me masturbate less. It takes me hours to "reload." I usually masturbate only once a day and twice a day is the absolute maximum. I think I should masturbate less if I want to be able to have intercourse every now and then.
- age 17, the Netherlands
It really doesn't. I have been married many years yet I still masturbate regularly. It is a matter of convenience — there are many times when I would like an orgasm without having to worry about a partner and their feelings. I believe my wife also masturbates but not as frequently as I do.
- age 40, Michigan
My masturbation frequency has definitely been affected by the relationship that I'm in right now. I'm lucky enough to have a girlfriend that totally understands the need to masturbate and has never told me not to. But I find that after having sex with her (which is fairly frequent) I'm too tired and do not have the desire to masturbate again in the same day, whereas I used to masturbate at least three times daily.
- age 17, Canada
Whenever I have been in a committed relationship, my masturbation habits have definitely changed. If our relationship hasn't reached a physical aspect yet, my urges are extremely strong and I masturbate more than "normal." If I'm in a relationship that is physical, I will likely masturbate less, but definitely still need "some time to myself" every once in a while.
- age 19, Arizona (female)
I always thought that a relationship would make me need to masturbate less, but I found the opposite to be true. When I am in a relationship, I seem to need to ejaculate more often!
- age 40, Massachusetts
My masturbation frequency has been pretty much the same all my life — two to three times a day. I realized years ago that I like masturbating better than partner sex. Sex with my wife is just a kind of tease for me and I always need to masturbate as soon as possible after that so, in that way, partner sex "increases" my masturbation frequency. It has been that way all my life with other women, too. My wife's sexual appetite is now down to almost nothing, so masturbation is 99%+ of my sex life and I couldn't be happier! My advice to younger guys ---- be *really, really sure* you like partner sex better than masturbating before you get married.
- age 69, California
When I was a young man and women were readily available, masturbation was only a stopgap as I waited for the next woman. Then I got married and had no need for another woman, so I used my fist only rarely. When my wife died after 51 years of a fine marriage, I turned back to my fist, and 17 years later I'm still at it several times a week. Although at 90, I've slowed down a bit, I still masturbate several times weekly. I hope to continue masturbation till I can no longer have an erection.
- age 90, Alabama
I've been faithfully married for 33 years, but that has never affected the frequency of my masturbation. I masturbate now, just as I did before I got married — at least once a day, and about half of the time I do it twice. That was my case from the early age of around five years old, but of course as a teen, I probably did it more because of the normal horniness of a teenager. I have always enjoyed masturbation as the one chance of the day to do something entirely and only for myself; an opportunity to make love to myself.
- age 55, West Virginia
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and we engage in vaginal and oral sex very frequently. I would say I masturbate at about the same frequency as I did before we were together; mind you, it is still subject to whatever free time I have.
- age 17, Australia (female)
Masturbation is a different pleasure for me than sex with another person. Relationship or not, I masturbate once or twice a day.
- age 43, California
I have been married for 40 years to the same person. When I was young, early 20s, I would do it about 6 times a week. Now that I am 60, I do it 3 times a week. Yes, I have gone through short periods, a month or two, without doing it. I want you to know that I have sex with my spouse at least twice a week and when I have had outside girlfriends, sex with them 4 times a month.
- age 60, California
I've got a girlfriend and we've been together for just under three months. Back in December, I would masturbate regularly, three to five times a week. Now I masturbate less than twice a week if even that. We've never had sex, and she has never given me oral sex. I think it's that I don't have nearly as many fantasies about other women now.
- age 16, Kentucky
For the first three or so months of my marriage, I abstained from solo activity; for I felt guilty, that I would be depriving my wife and me the opportunity to share, to give and receive such pleasure. After I realized that our times together were not frequent enough to satisfy my needs, I resumed some solo activity.
- age 65, California
I've only been in one relationship that actually progressed to a sexual stage. My masturbation frequency during that time was not affected. My girlfriend and I actually encouraged each other to masturbate regularly. If we hadn't fooled around in a while, she would insist that I masturbate myself before we fooled around again so that she wouldn't have to deal with a volcano eruption. In retrospect, I regret being sexually active with her, but I am glad that she was so understanding about masturbation.
- age 20, Kansas
At long last, when I got into a sexual relationship, I was swept away by how wonderful it felt to have my penis inside a woman. I masturbated less, but I kept doing it, and I soon realized it was for a different reason. Not only did I value the time with myself and continuing to privately enjoy the feeling in my penis, but I also saw it as a way to practice holding my orgasm so that I could last longer during intercourse and give us all the time we wanted to make the act last and move our penis and vagina together. It also gave her the time she needed to learn to have strong orgasms from the movement of my penis in her. We have now been married over 25 years and I still masturbate both for enjoyment and control — and I enjoy sex with my wife as much as ever. She masturbates, too; and I know it's for pretty much the same reasons that I do.
- age 51, Maine
I've only had one relationship, and I masturbated just as much as before. I could never have an orgasm with him, so I would usually finish myself off afterwards, when he was either in the bathroom or asleep. I guess I was too embarrassed to ask him to help me, and he was too insensitive to notice.
- age 26, California (female)
At my age, the answer gets complicated. In my early years with my wife, in courtship and then marriage, we made love often, and I masturbated once a week, if that. (In my teens, once a day wouldn't have been enough.) In middle age, the fires of youth cooled a bit, to a point where we were having sex once or twice a week and my need to go solo on in-between nights reawakened. Fortunately, my wife not only tolerated my three or four weekly play dates with myself, but wanted to watch and help out, caressing my body, cradling my testicles and substituting her hand for mine on my penis as I got near the point of no return. We're older now, and her sexual appetite is quite low. Mine still isn't, and I find myself masturbating practically every night, with my wife still in faithful attendance. She told me once it would be almost like cheating if I did myself in secret, so unless I'm away on a business trip, I never do.
- age 68, Virginia
It makes me last longer when I do it with her if I rub myself a few hours before we go out and then shower. She does not know. There is less of a need to climax right away when making out, and we can do more of other stuff. Other times, I do save it up for her. She will apply KY Ultra Gel and then pull and twist on it while I lie on my back. It is wonderful how she loves the gobs.
- age 19, Virginia
I have been married for about six months. My wife and I are very happy and have a wonderful sexual relationship. However, I still masturbate (on average) one or two times a week. This has nothing to do with us not having sex because of a fight or anything else. I do it simply because I like to. I enjoy doing things by myself sometimes. Masturbating is, I guess you could say, spending quality time with myself.
- age 21, Oklahoma
I have never been in "a relationship," in the sense that I would share my bed with someone, male or female. I habitually masturbate *alone* and in private, most usually in my bunk on board ship where I am employed, or in bed at home or elsewhere. I thoroughly enjoy doing it, but I rarely talk to work colleagues about the subject (although everybody at sea knows everybody else does it too)! Nor did I ever discuss matter with my mother or father during their lives, and only on extremely rare occasions with my brothers. But I really like writing about it on JackinWorld, although my frequency of ejaculations is in no way affected by any of this.
- age 41, England, United Kingdom
Before I got into a serious relationship, I used to think that I'd always masturbate forever. But for over a year, I've had a loving girlfriend with whom I have greatly satisfying sex regularly, so masturbation just doesn't appeal anymore. It may seem hard to believe, but its true.
- age 16, Canada
I've found that, if anything, I've tended to masturbate more when I've been in a relationship, especially one in which I've been sexually active. I'm married now, and my husband and I have a wonderful sex life. We're very open about our masturbation habits, and even include masturbation in our foreplay.
- age 45, California (female)
My relationship frustrates me sexually, because my wife is often busy and away, and when she's home, she's still preoccupied with her work. I see happy, satisfied couples and pretty single women, and wish I were in some life other than the one I have. I masturbate practically every time I'm alone, and I've started to find partners on chat lines even though I feel I shouldn't. I have even shared masturbating on the phone a few times, and I'm almost ashamed to say, it is fantastic. I wouldn't do this if I had the attention and affection that I want at home, because I basically love my wife and miss the relationship we used to have. We are in counseling together, but I don't know what direction my life is going to go.
- age 48, Washington
I don't think that I'm gay, but about a year ago I got into a kind of relationship with another boy in my class. Initially we both found that it was extremely exciting just to unzip our trousers, take out, and show off the growing lengths of our penises in front of each other. This quickly progressed to dropping our trousers and pants and showing each other our testicles and pubic hair and more recently to stroking our penises to ejaculation while the other one actually would watch close-up. Before all of this started, I was masturbating only once or twice a week, just to relieve myself from the incredible feelings in my groin. However, since this "relationship" started, I have been masturbating with my friend every day before we set off for school together, *and* alone in the bath shortly before I go to bed.
- age 14, Singapore
I like masturbating more since I've been in a relationship. First, it kept me sane while my girlfriend and I got to be closer friends. Then we began to have sex together, which is incredibly warm and wonderful, and I know this is what my penis was designed for. But I still masturbate and so does she, because we like to. Only now when I masturbate, I look forward to the next time my penis will be in her. Also, the day or two after we have had sex, I feel like I capture an "echo" of the experience when I masturbate — she says the same. So we masturbate less often than before but it's richer.
- age 24, Indiana
When my sexual relationships were new, my frequency of masturbation declined quite a bit, from seven times a week down to just a few. (I was 25 when I went into my first relationship, so I would only masturbate once a day.) Gradually, as the relationships matured, the frequency of sex declined and my masturbation increased to keep the average at one orgasm a day. My first relationship lasted 30 years. I am now eight years into my second relationship and the same sort of thing is happening: We used to make love three or four times per week, but now it is less than that and my orgasms are still hitting one per day (sometimes two, but not often) which I achieve by masturbating. I deeply love the man I am with now and I want our relationship to last as long as the first one did, but I can't always depend on someone else to satisfy my sexual urges.
- age 66, California
When I'm in a relationship and we're in the stage where we're having sex like rabbits, I actually masturbate more than when I'm not in a relationship or in a relationship where sex has not begun. Ironically, once the sex has started, I'm an animal. If the sex starts to wane, I masturbate even more often. I've been in very few sexual relationships, but when I'm not it's like I'm celibate. I masturbate rarely - only when I "need" to. I'm weird.
- age 23, Virginia