If my wife is interested in something intense and quick, masturbating her would be the method of choice. Our relationship has been so rewarding. When we got together the first time, I felt pretty awkward due to my lack of experience, but I quickly discovered what she liked and what she didn't. Talk about a stroke to the ego — she is very verbal and expressive during the process, as well as prone to multiple, and I do mean *multiple*, orgasms. In fact, she says there have been times when she quite nearly loses consciousness. If she's faking it, she certainly deserves an Oscar — but no matter how "into it" she may be, I still think doing this deed with a dude wins hands down. I mean, when a guy starts getting into it, it becomes so real that you can almost experience what he is feeling when he feels it, whereas with a girl, you almost always walk away from the experience with at least a small measure of doubt.
- age 35, Indiana
This Week's Wackiest Response:
I don't agree with the idea that masturbating a member is the opposite of sex.
- age 14, New York
Just today, I was lucky enough to get the chance to masturbate my girlfriend and our mutual best friend, who is also a girl. We were all cool with it, because we've known each other for a long time and my girlfriend knew our best friend wasn't a threat. It was really fun to see how my friend reacted differently than my girlfriend. The best friend was too nervous to masturbate me, but I suppose you can't win them all.
- age 18, California
Mutual masturbation can be either an enjoyable part of foreplay or an alternative to vaginal penetration. The benefit, of course, is that it is very difficult to get pregnant through masturbation. It may not be exactly what Dr. Elders recommended, but it is a healthy alternative.
- age 58, Arizona
Although I haven't, I would really like to someday — with someone that I could trust, and know that she would trust me. It would be something to remember forever. If I did it, it would be like this: I would slowly rub the outsides of her breasts and suck on her nipples until she had enough lube. Then, I would slowly lick down to her vagina, gradually open her, and then massage her vulva. When she is very excited, I would insert my middle finger until she asked for a second one. I would also still be massaging her vulva as my finger penetrated her. Then, I would thrust slowly while my thumb would rub her clitoris, as I still would be massaging her vulva until she had the best orgasm of her life!
- age 16, Wisconsin
Well, of course I've masturbated men! How else does a gal say "Thank you!" for a nice second or third date? Seriously — "been there, done that" more times than I can number. I began at age 14 when it was great fun to masturbate a guy in the water at the beach, or even at a secluded (or not-so-secluded) spot on the beach. (You've got to love what ejaculating under water looks like!) I have masturbated guys at the drive-in, in movie theaters, while they were driving (although that is kind of risky), on double dates in either the front or rear seat of a car, in the woods. You name it and I have probably masturbated the lucky guy I was seeing at the time there. It is an essential part of the sex life I share with my guy of almost two years. I love the heat of an erect penis in my hand, the slippery feeling of the lotion I use, the expressions on his face as he climaxes, and the thrill of knowing that I made that ejaculation possible!
- age 26, Florida (female)
Sure — every time I've ever had sex with a woman. Masturbating one another is a standard part of foreplay. Sometimes it becomes the end as well as the beginning if she and I get overheated and keep going hands-on to orgasm. However, it is more often the appetizer to the main course. But in my experience, it's important even more for the girl than for the guy — if, that is, you really care about whether she enjoys the experience.
- age 51, Iowa
My girlfriend and I would often masturbate each other, so I've developed a few rules over the years. (1) Always keep your nails trimmed with no edges. (2) Be gentle. (3) Get her excited before you start poking around down there. (4) Be gentle. (5) Use communication (get her to show you what she likes). (6) Use some lubrication if necessary. (7) Most important: Be gentle.
- age 19, Florida
My husband and I regularly masturbate each other as a part of our foreplay. We also enjoy watching each other masturbate.
- age 43, California (female)
No, but I sure want to try!
- age 14, Canada
Yes, my wife and I enjoy mutual masturbation. I like to masturbate while she watches.
- age 49, Mississippi
I have never masturbated a member of the opposite sex, but it has always been one of my fantasies to do so. Should I ever find the right girl, I hope she is very open to letting me masturbate her. To me, doing such a thing without expecting anything back shows more love than having sex, as sex is mutual pleasure. But giving the one you love pleasure while the only pleasure you get is the sound of her moan seems to me one of those experiences everyone should have.
- age 15, Arkansas
I've masturbated girlfriends before. One would only let me masturbate her by letting her rub her crotch up and down against my thigh. She would have the most intense orgasms doing it this way.
- age 50, California
Masturbation of a partner is a normal step between kissing and having sex in my relationships.
- age 23, Netherlands
Many, many times have I masturbated a male — it's how I stayed virgin until I was 24.
- age 39, New Jersey (female)
Nope, not once — however, of the same sex, more times than I can count. This is no surprise, as I am gay. But since I deeply and thoroughly enjoy using my hands to give my sex partners the ultimate pleasure, and since I deeply and thoroughly enjoy it when they do the same for me, if I in fact were straight, I'm sure my answer would be: more times than I can count.
- age 47, Louisiana
Even though I've masturbated many women, I'd prefer to masturbate another male. I've only had the opportunity to do that two or three times, but it was great.
- age 39, Pennsylvania
I'm quite good friends with a girl I've known since Year Two at school. I still see her now, and we were watching a movie one night when she suddenly asked me, "Do you masturbate?" I said that I do, and she said she does likewise. Then we masturbated each other and now do it every Monday night. I think it's great that we can do it and still be friends — she's giving me tips on masturbating women, and I'm giving her tips for men.
- age 17, United Kingdom
The first time I saw a penis was when I was 16 and the boy I was making out with made me take my shirt off and rub his erection. It was quite small, but hard as a rock. I rubbed it with my palm while squeezing his testicles. Then he stopped me and demonstrated the pumping motion, with his hand on mine. I pumped it up and down faster and faster until he ejaculated and shot sperm clear over his head and onto the headboard of his bed — what a mess!
- age 43, Connecticut (female)
Mutual masturbation is one of the wonderful and intimate experiences that a couple can share with each other. This is a practice that my wife and I share often, as she is somewhat disabled physically. She suffers from CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome), so often, physical lovemaking is just too exhausting for her. We just touch and rub each other with lubricant until we each have an orgasm. My favorite is to ejaculate onto her breasts. It's a very important part of our lives.
- age 45, Pennsylvania
I've barely made eye contact with the opposite sex, much less masturbated them. If the opportunity came along, I'm sure I'd be completely clueless. I think I'll just stick with masturbating my male friends. I enjoy that more, anyway.
- age 13, Illinois
Yes I have masturbated a female, but since it was part of the foreplay, it wasn't to orgasm. I saved that for the final act.
- age 58, Ohio
Whenever I get the chance — there is something about watching a penis ejaculate that just turns me on completely. I remember the first time I did it, I wasn't quite sure what it was, but now I love it. There's nothing better in the world then a hard penis in your hand.
- age 17, Connecticut (female)
I've only masturbated one woman, who is now my wife. As absolutely wonderful as intercourse is, I'm still amazed at how intense it is to hold her and touch her sexually. The fine control my fingers give me for stimulating her nipples, vagina, and clitoris makes it easy to reduce her to a quivering, moaning, soaking wet pleasure in my arms. Curiously, this only makes me more curious about masturbating a member of the same sex.
- age 27, New York
I have masturbated women I have dated as well as my wife. Many times it is easier and more pleasurable for a woman to have an orgasm with direct contact of the clitoris than through intercourse. I suppose orally satisfying a woman can also be considered masturbating her.
- age 61, Oregon
No, I haven't masturbated a male, nor has the opportunity come up. If it did, I might watch out of curiosity, but I wouldn't masturbate a member of the opposite sex. For one thing I find guys' masturbation to be somewhat messy; for another, I wouldn't really have a clue how to do it *well enough* (yes, the basic concept is essential easy). And to top that off, I'm a lesbian. Sorry, guys — my hands are being saved for my future girlfriends.
- age 17, Canada (female)
I had grown up with only book information about female bodies, had never gotten a chance to see a real girl naked, and so I spent years masturbating myself and dreaming about masturbating a girl. Once, I was visiting a girl I knew from college in a city where she was working. We hadn't been highly sexual with each other — just good friends and very much at ease together. After watching TV for more than an hour, we were half-cuddled together affectionately when she moved my hand to the snap on the waist of her jeans and before I knew it, I was undoing and removing her pants as naturally and quickly as I would have done my own. She guided my hand to her, allowed me to find and feel her warm slippery folds, and then taught me what felt best to her. I tended to want to explore her vagina, but she showed me that her clitoris was where she wanted to be touched and how I should do it. In fact she didn't want me to explore her inside, and that was part of the lesson. With her occasional guidance, I was able to bring her to an orgasm, which made me feel like a million dollars, but more important was that she trusted me, that it was her decision, and that she was always in control.
- age 56, Pennsylvania
You're kidding, right? It's called foreplay. My wife (and every other woman I've ever slept with) wants and likes it, and I like being "foreplayed" with. Next question?
- age 28, Missouri
Oh, baby! It's my favorite thing to do! I'm told I can do *amazing* things with baby oil, but I'm a huge fan of the uncircumcised penis. If I were a guy, I might never leave my room.
- age 22, Tennessee (female)
My first time masturbating a girl was in a hot tub when I was 14. We were flirting, and then somehow we started talking about my penis. I took my penis out, took her hand, and guided it toward my penis. She was amazed at how big it was. Then she took my hand and guided it toward her vagina. She moved her bikini bottoms out of the way and put my hand on it. I put one finger in. It was tighter than I thought it would be. Then I slipped two fingers in and she started moaning loudly. She said it was the first orgasm a guy had ever given her.
- age 16, Florida
I was 18 and at college; she was 19 and loved masturbation, as did I. We were introduced by mutual friends and over several weeks had become intimate without engaging in intercourse — just a lot of heavy petting; she was concerned about becoming pregnant and didn't want to have intercourse. One night we checked into a motel and after hours of slow and very pleasurable physical contact, I began to masturbate her. Within several minutes she began to climax — again, and again, and again. I had never been so intimate with a girl — it was amazing. Finally it was my turn and apparently she had never seen a guy climax because she let out a little cry when I ejaculated. I learned a lot that night: (1) Patience is truly a virtue. (2) After that night I could always tell if a girl was faking it. (3) Respect for your partner's wishes and a desire to please her is what makes you a real man. As I look back on it, part of the reason I slept with her was to prove to myself that I wasn't gay, which I later concluded that I am, but much of what I learned that night has made me a better sexual partner and has helped me in developing a successful 22-year relationship with a wonderful man.
- age 50, California
I have masturbated my partner many times. I really enjoy pleasuring her. Most of the time it is the only way she can reach orgasm. It is pleasurable for both of us. Plus, it can be convenient, so as to not have to worry about protection.
- age 29, North Carolina
I loved it when I masturbated a man; I like watching him moan and wriggle. It gives me pleasure knowing that I'm giving him such pleasure. The most joyful experience, though, is when he ejaculates. I love the way the semen shoots out, its texture, and its stickiness. I like to play with it for a while, when it's still warm.
- age 17, United Kingdom (female)
My wife could never climax from intercourse alone, so we have always included mutual masturbation (to orgasm for her) in our foreplay. I start to stimulate her as far as possible from her center; we kiss and hug for a while as I caress her legs, hips, arms, and torso (avoiding breasts and genitals). As we become more aroused, I begin to move my hand nearer her breasts with an occasional pass of my palm down over her outer labia, as I gradually move to stimulating her nipples with licking and gentle nibbling — my free hand now spending more time rubbing her vulva with an occasional venture just inside. By now, she is caressing my erect penis and scrotum as I stimulate her, so that when it's time for lubrication, I put some lube into her hand and more into mine. We get into a modified 69 position — on our sides facing each other — so that each has full and comfortable access to the other's genitals. She spreads lube over my penis and scrotum, as I lubricate her upper thighs and vulva and then insert the first two fingers of my left hand into her vagina and the ring finger into her anus, thus becoming able to stimulate her either by moving my hand in and out or by just wiggling my fingers. The second finger of my right hand (the social finger) finds and begins to stimulate the area around her clitoris — not the clitoris itself, but around its base as she now strokes my penis more firmly. I move my finger very subtly so that it's almost a vibration; and then as I feel her clitoris become erect, I give it more direct attention, almost stroking it like a miniature penis (which it is — analogous to my larger penis); and as I hear her breathing deepen and become less regular, and her moaning increase as her orgasm approaches, I can feel her entire pelvic area begin to contract (much like my contractions when I ejaculate), and I know that now we are ready for sexual intercourse.
- age 62, New Jersey
Masturbating a guy is possibly one of the most exciting things in the world. Luckily, the guys I have done this with have been very open with me, so they gave me tips on what to do and what not to do. Masturbating a member of the opposite sex and being masturbated by the opposite sex are both quite incredible.
- age 15, Michigan (female)
I have had two girlfriends so far, and have masturbated both of them many times. Masturbating each other was and still is an important part of our sex life. Two years ago, my girlfriend and I were at home, working on our school newspaper, when I suddenly got horny. I slowly slipped my hand down her pants, and began to masturbate her carefully while she was working at a computer. After a bit of half-heartedly muttering that she couldn't work like this she got more and more aroused and finally neared orgasm. I just went slower and slower and encouraged her to continue her work. The moment she made the final mouse click and finished, I sped up and gave her a — how she said later — "geil" (German for "awesome") orgasm. Man, was I proud of me!
- age 21, Germany
Well, gee — I've masturbated half my town!
- age 14, New Mexico
I was 12 (as was my female cousin), had already had orgasms, and was intensely curious about girls. Luckily, she was equally curious about boys, having no brothers. We were pretty good friends, found each other, took off our clothes for each other, and I let her masturbate me. She returned the favor by letting me masturbate her — not once, but quite a few times, although we never had any sexual penetration (at least, with my penis). After about age 14, it never happened again. We are both married now with kids of our own. Although my sons are pretty open with me, we have never discussed whether they have ever done anything similar. I often wonder if they are having similar experiences with their cousins as well.
- age 36, New York
No, and I wouldn't really like to! I would prefer sex!
- age 16, Bulgaria
Of course — otherwise, how do you do foreplay? I have masturbated every woman I have been with, beginning at age 16 when it was just making out at the drive-in or at her house when her folks were not around or at the beach! Sometimes it led to intercourse; sometimes it was a substitute, but it always produced an orgasm or two on her part — and, I might add, those gals always returned the favor. As I matured and my relationships matured as well, mutual masturbation proved to be an enjoyable alternative when intercourse was not possible, or just as a change of pace. Sometimes it would be manual; sometimes it would involve a vibrator. Today, masturbating my wife either as foreplay or as an end to her orgasm still forms a wonderful part of our sex life together.
- age 58, Tennessee
Many guys are curious to know what a girl's vagina and clitoris look and feel like. This is natural curiosity and I was as curious as anybody else. I want to say that seeing and feeling is one thing, once you have a friend who is nice enough to let you, but masturbating is quite another, because you need to learn how she feels from her side, know what she wants, and what feels good to her. And it can be a lot harder for her to relax and let you into that part of herself. It wasn't really until I had sex with my girlfriend that both of us were relaxed enough for her to let me masturbate her and show me what she really liked. And now it's always part of play or foreplay; it's great.
- age 23, Virginia
I have so enjoyed masturbating the opposite sex for most of my lifetime — in youth as mutual masturbation when we thought it best not to have the ultimate sexual act for safety reasons; also, later, as a prelude to the ultimate act; or at present in our older age, when that is the limit of what we are able to accomplish due to physical difficulties. Self-masturbation is such satisfaction and joy! Mutual masturbation is even more satisfying and enjoyable, together with one who cares.
- age 78, Texas
I have masturbated many ex-girlfriends. The first time I slid my hand down my girlfriend's underwear, I was surprised at how far down the vaginal opening is located. I originally thought it was more toward the front, but it appears that it is closer to the anus than what I had anticipated. Anyway, after a good 10 minutes of stimulation, she shuddered uncontrollably and had what I thought to be an intense orgasm. She was wet and flush following our session. I remember feeling proud that I had given her an orgasm.
- age 22, Canada
Masturbating my girlfriend is an important and fantastic part of our sex life — either as foreplay or often to orgasm. I can let her lie back while I give her all the attention, or we often masturbate each other simultaneously. We did this before we first had sex, but now it's a great option to have, and we've given each other some of our best orgasms this way. I'd like to think I'm pretty good at masturbating her, but we're not afraid to give each other advice. I try and work on all areas: brain, breasts, labia, clitoris, and vagina, with plenty of variation. If you don't masturbate your partner, you are missing out on a very intimate thing, and some wonderful orgasms.
- age 19, United Kingdom
I tried masturbation once with my girl, but soon learned that I couldn't please her with my hand as well as she could please herself with her own hand. So, we just accepted that we needed to masturbate ourselves. Of course, I did have some good buddies who knew how to masturbate me, too. I say that if you can do it and enjoy it, then masturbate your girlfriend, but always keep in mind that a guy knows exactly how to please a penis because he has one of his own.
- age 23, Tennessee
We were actually at my best friend's house and alone in her room when I masturbated him.
- age 16, Massachusetts (female)
A few years back, I had a wonderful girlfriend. Sometimes I masturbated her. But like many guys, I guess I'm not that good at it, and I don't think I really had the patience required (I was too horny). Sometimes I would think that I had gotten her close to orgasm, but then she wouldn't climax. So I changed techniques, but that didn't really help at all. I guess this made me feel like a bad lover.
- age 21, Netherlands
I have been masturbating my boyfriend for about a year now. I like to kneel in front of him and use both my hands with a little lube. If we don't have any, I wet him with my mouth. I let him ejaculate on my breasts. I have tasted him a little and we're working on the day that I can catch all of him in my mouth.
- age 16, Pennsylvania (female)
I masturbate my wife every evening just as we go to bed and every morning when we open our eyes. After 37 years of marriage, we are still always "ready to go!" My wife does the same with my penis every day. But we stop before ejaculation to keep my semen for her: we have sexual intercourse twice a week and it is good for us!
- age 60, France
I have both masturbated and been masturbated by several members of the opposite sex — starting at age 13 with my first boyfriend, and continuing, I think, with every relationship I've had since. To me, it's just a natural part of an intimate relationship to touch each other in pleasurable ways — my partner and I touch each other and ourselves during lovemaking, sometimes reaching orgasm before intercourse and sometimes not having intercourse at all. This question seems very strange to me because I don't see how it's possible for any heterosexual person who has been involved in a physically intimate relationship could answer "no" to it. Masturbating each other is just what people do.
- age 30, Ontario, Canada (female)
I spent my high school years making my girlfriend happy with masturbation *and* oral sex — and she did the same for me. She wouldn't let herself have intercourse due to her upbringing, but she loved to be brought to a huge orgasm with masturbation. We both became quite skilled at making each other happy and satisfied with our hands and mouths. I can honestly say I did not feel as if I missed anything by not having intercourse and I'm sure that I had much better sex than most all of my pals!
- age 53, Missouri