There would have to be a written contract promising me large sums of untaxable cash and on-demand sex from busty women of all nations. That, and the promise that Kevin Costner, Juliette Lewis, and Julia Roberts will never appear in another film again. I don't ask much, do I?
- age 30, Florida
This Week's Wackiest Response:
A lifetime supply of peanuts.
- age 15, Australia
It would really have to be extreme not to masturbate for a month. The last time I had to do that is when I went through basic training in the Army. After about 4 weeks, it was really getting bad. Walking or running around with an erection was the norm. Anyway, one night I woke up about 2AM and was humping the heck out of the mattress and left a huge wet spot. It was one of the few wet dreams I ever had in my life. I've always wondered what my bunk mate thought since I had the upper bunk.
- age 22, California
The only condition that would ever make me stop masturbating for a month was if the pope came to live in my house for a month. I would be much too embarrassed if he saw me masturbating.
- age 16, Canada
I would not masturbate for one full week if my sex partner would have intercourse with me for 7 days straight.
- age 34, Florida (female)
Last year, my mother died and this left me very upset. For 3 months, I was in no way interested in sex. Otherwise, there are very few occurrences that would alter a teenager's sex drive. So in all other cases, I would continue masturbating.
- age 17, Mississippi
If I had a new partner who absolutely loved sex and who would be very experimental with me. This would give me so much satisfaction that I could go a month without masturbating. Also, if waiting a whole month guaranteed an ejaculation resulting in a huge amount of semen and a more deeply ecstatic and pleasurable ejaculation than waiting, say, a week does.
- age 37, New York
Probably if I was in traction after some horrible accident and so couldn't reach, had pissed off my girlfriend, had no other friends, and couldn't convince visiting relatives to help me. Even then I'd probably find a way.
- age 18, Canada
In boot camp I would go longer than a month. I know this from experience. With open barracks there's no privacy. Because I went so long without, about two-thirds of the way through boot camp, I probably had the best wet dream I'd ever had. Then the lights went on, and I had to scramble to cover it up.
- age 44, Washington
Under the condition that I would get a number of attractive, young, relatively sexually experienced women ready to greet me back into the world of sexual pleasure...and maybe a little money.
- age 15, Canada
This would never happen! I need to masturbate several times a week. I could not go for a whole month without it — apart from totally losing my mind, my testicles would explode from the buildup of sperm. You would need to handcuff me and tie me to a chair — and then I would still find a way to masturbate.
- age 31, Australia
I personally can't masturbate if I'm anywhere other then my house, or if I'm doing it with a friend at their house. So I wouldn't masturbate if I were with my family on a month-long trip or something like that.
- age 15, Colorado
Prison — it took me a while to adjust.
- age 44, Oregon
If something green started growing on my penis, then I'd stop!
- age 14, Michigan
I would stop masturbating for a month for what else: cash. Anyone remember the Seinfeld episode where they couldn't masturbate for like a week or something. Well, it might be longer, but if it was for cash I would sure as hell try.
- age 27, Massachusetts
Only if I had to sleep in the same bed with my parents.
- age 15, California
An outbreak of warts on my hands.
- age 32, Georgia
It's simply unthinkable.
- age 15, Ontario, Canada
If I was chosen to live in the Big Brother house!
- age 32, United Kingdom
To go one month without masturbating, I would have to be getting laid at least three times a day. Also, when not having intercourse, I could not be exposed to any sexual stimulus. Only then, would I have a chance of not masturbating.
- age 24, Wisconsin
If I was told that I would have to eat my own feet, rather than not masturbate for a month, then my feet would be well seasoned and on a plate. mmmm..feet.
- age 15, United Kingdom
$40 or up.
- age 18, California
If my penis would grow another 12 inches.
- age 14, New York
Married and having sex every night!
- age 21, Tennessee
Simple, I'd be saving up for something, like one monster session at the end of the month.
- age 14, Colorado
It would have to be a deal with my wife: I would get oral and anal sex each day for a month (that's two orgasms) if I would refrain from masturbating for that time.
- age 54, Washington
If I were menstruating for that amount of time.
- age 18, New Jersey (female)
If a bomb was strapped to my penis and if I touched it, I would lose it!
- age 15, Michigan
The only condition I would have placed on me is an ultimatum: If I masturbated during that one month, I would have to give up my foreskin and get circumcised. I would truly hate that since I use my foreskin to masturbate, however I do like using lube at times and simulating being circumcised so I guess it wouldn't be as bad as it seems.
- age 29, Australia
There is no possible conditions that I could go without masturbating for one month or 30 days, or 720 hours, or 43,20 minutes or 2,592,000 seconds. I live and die masturbation!
- age 15, California
Say if I was one of the last men on earth, and it was up to me to fertilize one or two dozen women so that the species could survive. I'd request that we'd use the 'traditional method' and keep up a schedule so that the chances of success were optimized. It would probably be exhausting and not quite what you imagine in your hornier dreams (as my wife and I found out once when we were trying to conceive but couldn't) but one thing I would definitely not do would be to masturbate until I could tell that my sperm had done their duty. Once that happened, though, I'd masturbate again and probably really enjoy it again.
- age 44, Idaho
If my wife would give me sex more than once every two months.
- age 21, Ohio
Having my Penis removed and sent out of state.
- age 17, New Jersey
Simply cut off both my hands, strap me face up on a wooden plank of wood, restrain any remaining limps that are flapping in the wind, lend me Hannibal Lector's face mask and feed me daily through a tube. Under these conditions, I'm sure I would have no problem whatsoever from physically NOT touching my privates to induce my daily orgasm. Then again I'd probably figure out a way to flip myself over so I could dry hump the floor.
- age 39, California
If a gorilla was gnawing on it like it was a banana for the entire month and wouldn't let go.
- age 15, Kansas
If, at the end of one month, I was promised that I could have sex with wrestling superstar The Rock, then I would definitely not masturbate for a month!
- age 19, Washington, D.C. (female)
Being locked in a cupboard, with my hands tied up, with nothing for me to rub myself off on.
- age 17, United Kingdom
If someone I fell in love with wanted me to stop.
- age 33, California
Not that I would necessarily WANT to but if I was in a very stressful situation (i.e. war, in the midst of famine etc..) it probably wouldn't be the top thing on my to do list. Nevertheless, I've heard of people who get excited by stress!
- age 14, Oregon
This is a question that I have pondered often. There has NEVER and will never be a time or an event that would keep me from masturbating for an entire month. Throughout my life I have been in situations where it has become next to impossible to do the deed. Once there was surgery, I found a way, then there was church camp, found a way — as long as we continue to have even remote privacy to go to the bathroom, there will be a place to masturbate. Just remember the saying, necessity is the mother of invention.
- age 33, Indiana
I'd go for one month if I knew the reward would be worth it. For example, my boyfriend and I had a vacation planned entirely for sex at the end of a month. That'd be really hard though. I think in order to go through with it, I wouldn't be able to see my boyfriend for the month because he's too tempting. Actually all boys would be out of the question for a month.
- age 18, Washington (female)
If I was suffering from some sort of illness or problem with my penis, and it was clear that I needed to stop masturbating for the problem to clear up, then I would try to stop masturbating. However I know that I would have a lot of trouble going for a month without the pleasure from masturbation.
- age 75, California
I would only stop if it were a matter of life and death.
- age 13, Victoria, Australia
The only reason I would stop masturbating for a month would be if I lived in a house with all girls in it and there were no separate rooms, just one wide open space. If I lived with only guys then I would masturbate. But that's about the only thing that would stop me!
- age 18, Michigan
Only if it kept the world from ending AND if I could marry one of the Olson Twins when they are legal!
- age 17, Georgia
I have given up masturbation during the Lenten season many times. Lenten sacrifices are meant to give humility to those who do them. All I know is that was the longest 40 days of my life!
- age 21, Mississippi
If I were the prisoner of a women who tortured me for doing it I would just be able to cope with it. otherwise not a chance of me lasting more than two days, really.
- age 18, United Kingdom
Ha Ha, I know what its like. I broke both wrists hang gliding and imagine not being able to take care of yourself masturbating. I was hating life. I'd do it all over again though, it was an awesome crash!
- age 27, New Mexico
Your assumption that people have never gone one month without masturbation intrigues me. Often times I will go several weeks without much conscious thought of masturbation. So your answer is none — I have most likely not masturbated for one month several times and not even realized it. Believe what you want, but I am an extreme minority when it comes to these things.
- age 18, California