I would change the level of excitement I experience. When I first began, I would sweat and tremble at the mere thought of masturbating. The anticipation made my entire body weak, and the actual act was so incredible, there were times when I literally had to bite my lip to keep from screaming. The orgasm would wash over me and cleanse all negative feelings from my body, replacing them with nothing but pure ecstasy. It made me feel a sense of happiness and warmth that's impossible to explain. It was the ultimate sexual release, but of course, after years and years of masturbation, the thrill began to fade. I fell into a regular routine, and even breaking from that routine to try new ways of doing it would do nothing for me. The feeling I get is still great, but it's nothing like what I used to experience, back when it was all so new and thrilling. I'd give anything to have those good times back.
- age 22, Connecticut
This Week's Wackiest Response:
I wish the clowns would stop staring at my scrotum.
- age 17, Maryland
It'd be nice if my body were much quicker to self-lubricate. Once I'm sufficiently aroused, my body produces more than enough "pre-cum," but I usually have to use a bit of lube to get things started. If there was a special way I could touch myself and jump-start the flow of my own fluids, I would enjoy knowing the slipperiness between my hand and penis is all me.
- age 27, New York
I would be able to masturbate whenever I want. I hate having to wait until no one is home or until I know no one will walk in on me. If someone else is home, I get worried and I don't really enjoy it as much. I try to do it when no one is home because I can take my time, use lube, and watch porn. It would be great if I knew I could do it anytime I wanted without my parents discovering me.
- age 17, New Jersey
I'd probably remove the cleanup — or the stains that prompt the cleanup. Pleasure-wise, I'm pretty happy with my sessions right now.
- age 20, Sweden
If I could change one thing, it would be that other people would be masturbating in the room alongside me. I wouldn't care if they were male or female as long as it didn't include any of my close family.
- age 15, Maine
I would have more patience in maintaining the slower, sensitive movements.
- age 53, Netherlands
I would have it be *way* more like the first time! Then my body shook, my legs turned to jelly, and my back arched.
- age 17, Alabama
I would have it last longer — at least an hour to an hour-and-a-half. The longer my masturbation session is, the stronger my orgasm is.
- age 30, Wisconsin
I wish I could have dry orgasms again. I hate all the mess from the semen getting everywhere. If I try to masturbate, say, on the toilet and then ejaculate into the bowl, my orgasms are never as powerful. The only time I don't mind the semen is when I am in the shower, but I don't get a chance to take long showers and masturbate very often.
- age 15, Florida
I would have my wife join me.
- age 29, Kansas
I'd like to be able to suck my own penis.
- age 15, Arizona
I would have a bigger penis, ejaculate more semen, and shoot it farther. I would also be able to continue masturbating after I ejaculate so that I could masturbate for long periods of time. That would be perfect.
- age 19, Texas
I would change the time I last before I ejaculate. Normally, I last only about 3 minutes at most. If I'm particularly aroused, it can be all over in a minute. Even when I use the "Stop & Go" technique, I can resist the urge to ejaculate only for 5 to 10 minutes. I would love to be able to masturbate for hours on end without ejaculating.
- age 21, Australia
I would make my semen pink and cherry-flavored.
- age 17, New York
Well, if I made it feel any better, I think my head would explode. If I made it last any longer, my arm would fall off and my penis would be very sore. It would be nice if I didn't ejaculate, or if I could control whether or not I did. I remember my early masturbating days when nothing came out — that was quite convenient.
- age 23, Minnesota
My penis is still very small, but my pubic hair is quite long and curly. If I could change one thing, it would be that my hair doesn't get trapped between my penis and foreskin while I slide the foreskin back and forth. This is a real nuisance and spoils my enjoyment.
- age 14, Sweden
I'd like to have more patience. Even when I've got the time and the privacy to have a really long session, I tend to lose patience and make a sprint for the finish line. This tendency annoys me because it means I miss out on those really intense orgasms you can have from building up tension over a prolonged period of time.
- age 21, United Kingdom
I wish I could start doing it with friends and stop having to worry about my parents finding out.
- age 13, Illinois
These days, I wish I could sustain an erection more easily. The blood pressure pills I take are truly debilitating.
- age 49, Colorado
I wish that I would not have to masturbate — that I could control myself. Yes, it's natural, but frankly, it is frowned upon and is such a waste of time.
- age 17, United Kingdom
It seems that I can ejaculate only once per session, so I try and make my sessions last as long as possible and then shoot. I would like to be able to ejaculate more than once in a session. I know it's possible, but my penis has a mind all its own. When it's done, *it's done.* (Oh well...)
- age 28, Louisiana
I wish I would never get tired.
- age 13, New Jersey
Wow! I'd like to change something every time I masturbate, just for a new experience. I suppose I'd like to shoot as much semen as I used to. Then again, what's to change about this most perfect gift of masturbation?
- age 57, Ohio
I wish I could masturbate with my hand. For some reason, I just can't. It reminds me of how you can't tickle yourself, because you know you're doing it. I need some kind of a stimulus — most often my cotton terry robe. It feels quite good, but if I don't have it around, I'm stuck; plus, it makes a lot of noise for me to be humping so much. I wish I could just get a handle on my penis and go at it.
- age 16, Connecticut
If I could change one thing, it would be the intensity of the fantasies I have when I masturbate. I often find that my fantasies aren't very vivid or intense, so many of my sessions are kind of boring.
- age 31, California
I would change the fact that I never know when I'm about to ejaculate. My friends often say things like, "I'm almost there..." or, "Any second now..." when they get close to orgasm. Also, they can control the timing of their orgasms so that they all ejaculate together. But for me, my ejaculation starts without any warning whatsoever. This often means that I don't have time to bend my penis down toward the toilet bowl, so the first few squirts of semen go either straight into my face or onto the bathroom tiles.
- age 15, Ireland
Besides being able to have my orgasms last all day? Nothing. My masturbation sessions are perfect, whether they are quickies in my bedroom with my hand and fingers, or long and erotic in my bathtub with candles lit and using my dildo. Either way, I can satisfy myself whenever I want and however much I want. I love me!
- age 18, Arizona (female)
I would probably change the porn I watch. After a while, some of the material I watch gets really old and I hardly get wood.
- age 16, Indiana
I would love to have a buddy join me as when I was a teen. I had many memorable sessions with teen friends, masturbating together and each other. As a senior adult, that is not quite the question I can ask my current friends, although I would assume I do have friends with similar thoughts and they can't ask that question of me. How sad! I've been married many years and our sex life has been wonderful. However, I continued my solo masturbation sessions throughout these years. Now, as sexual desire has slowed for my wife, memorable thoughts of buddy sessions have returned.
- age 68, California
I'd want to make noise! I hate it that I always have to keep quiet (I'm hardly ever alone). I would love to moan and scream when I climax; that would make it *so* much hotter!
- age 16, Netherlands
How about doing it naked outdoors with someone else?
- age 47, California
The only thing I would change about my masturbation session is coming back to reality and realizing that my fantasy isn't actually reality! The reality I face then involves cleaning semen off my stomach and hands, which isn't exactly the upside of masturbation for me!
- age 17, Canada
I would like to have some extra hands — one to stimulate my anus, one to rub my testicles, two to rub up and down my legs and chest, and of course, one to take over masturbating me when the other hand gets tired. I don't think that's asking for too much.
- age 32, Pennsylvania
I'd make the orgasm last 30 minutes, sort of like a pig's orgasm.
- age 13, Virginia
I would have a penis.
- age 22, Kentucky (female)
I would always masturbate with my friend. I have done this only once and it was by far the best day of my life. Just to see him naked and fully erect, along with the expressions on his face as he reached orgasm, made me very excited. When my turn came, I was so excited that after only one or two very light strokes, I had an explosive orgasm and semen shot everywhere. Right now, this would be the best change to my solo sessions.
- age 15, Germany
It seems that normal masturbation just doesn't cut it anymore. Looking at erotic pictures on the Net seems to be the only way to go. I wish I could be like I was back when I first started at age 12. Just *thinking* about it back then made me want to go at it, which was not very helpful in the middle of class.
- age 20, Alberta, Canada
Well normally, I use the bathtub faucet for masturbation because I do not know how to finger myself to achieve an orgasm. The way I position myself in the tub to masturbate is quite uncomfortable and sometimes leaves my back hurting. If I could change one thing about it, I would have it be my boyfriend masturbating me instead of the tub. It has always been one of my dreams to have a boy masturbate me. Or, even if my boyfriend was just with me when I was doing it, I could be a lot hornier and have a better orgasm! He lives two hours away, so it is quite difficult to be together all the time to do this. And, if he did live closer, I am too shy to ask him to do it; so I am out of luck as far as this dream goes!
- age 14, Texas (female)
I really enjoy and appreciate my masturbation time — and have for many years. The only thing I would change would be to have someone of the same sex join me sometimes, so we could explore each other and ourselves during the mutual masturbation. It might sound weird in some ways, but as a boy, I missed all the mutual masturbation with other boys. I read all of the stories of other guys masturbating together and think maybe I've missed something that now sounds enjoyable to me.
- age 51, Colorado
I wish I could remain hard after ejaculating. Just to achieve orgasm for a third or fourth consecutive time would be amazing. I tried the "Mattress, Sock & Bag" technique and I was able to ejaculate twice, and sometimes when I'm in the shower, it's a little easier to keep going. I wish there was a way!
- age 16, Pennsylvania
Besides the fact that I would like to have a partner share the experience? I would change the impact that it makes in my day. I would like to have a pocket of time where I can masturbate as long and in whatever manner I like without preempting any other tasks that I have to perform that day. I find my more enjoyable masturbation sessions tend to last two to three hours, which is a big hunk of time out of my schedule.
- age 31, California
I would make my penis detachable so I could perform auto-fellatio with ease.
- age 14, Australia
I would change where I do it because I always masturbate in my room or in the bath. I would like to make it in places more public like a class or in a commercial center, running the risk of being seen.
- age 21, Colombia
The amount of semen that comes out of my penis when I ejaculate is unusually large. Compared to my friends, I ejaculate at least three times as much and this makes things extremely messy, unless I masturbate in the bath (and even then there is a lot of sperm floating around in the water). Therefore, I would like to lower my volume of ejaculate to what my friends normally have.
- age 14, Japan
I would probably treat a masturbation session less as endurance and more as exploration. Once I start masturbating, I have the urge to get to the end however and as quickly as possible. I would prefer to be able to masturbate and stop once I had had enough, and then to be able to start again later when I felt like it.
- age 18, United Kingdom
Easy! I'd have the skin on my palms excrete lubrication automatically whenever I begin to masturbate and have ejaculation that disappears instantly upon contact with my chest.
- age 42, California
I think I would like to masturbate with someone else, male or female, rather than by myself. I have never done that and I think it would totally increase effect of the experience. Other than that, I would like to masturbate outside more because it feels great to be outside with the wind on your naked body and the sun beating down while you pleasure yourself. The neighbors don't really like that, though.
- age 18, Minnesota
The one problem that I have during masturbation is the shape of my penis and I would love to change this. When fully erect, it curves up sharply in the shape of a banana. As I stroke the shaft, the tip presses into my stomach, just above my belly button. The curved shape also makes very rapid stroking quite difficult and uncomfortable. I once saw my dad, who has a very straight penis, masturbate at terrific speed as he approached orgasm. Ever since then, I wish that mine could be the same shape.
- age 16, Spain
I would change it so that, for a while, each masturbation session I had would be shared with a different person each time. I would like to masturbate with my girlfriend and each one of my guy friends individually, and on separate occasions. I think it would definitely keep things interesting.
- age 20, Texas