Tea room

I discovered masturbation at a very late age. I was raised extremely conservative Christian. My parents never had "the talk" with me, so I learned only bits and pieces of information. By the time I was 14 (1996), I had read the entire 1964 World Book section on reproduction and sex. The whole reason I ever even tried masturbation was because guys at school would refer to it as if those who did it were weird or wrong. Guys always made fun of it, and I wondered what it was supposed to be exactly. After witnessing another day of guys being made fun of, I decided to go home and do some experimenting. I waited until I was in bed and started to rub my penis. I did the only thing I knew, which was to rub the most sensitive part: right under the head. I did this with my thumb, and my index finger sort of rubbed the side of the head a bit. I remember this feeling really awesome. I continued to do this until I had an orgasm. I felt proud more than excitement at the orgasm (although it was the most wonderful feeling I had ever had). I was proud because this meant I was a man.

I had no friends I could talk to about this newfound pastime, and although I would have loved to have a brother to experiment with or talk to, my only brother is 15 years older than I am, so it wasn't possible. I kept it to myself, but immediately I knew I would be doing this every day! I did it every time I had the chance — after school, before school (never during school), and weekends. Although the original method worked, it usually made my penis raw. Sometimes I would have to wait a few days to let things heal. I got the nerve to ask my dad why I was so raw, and what to do for the redness. He gave me some cream that he said worked for him. Although we never discussed masturbation (except him telling me it was wrong) I'm sure he had to know what this rawness was being caused from. Soon, I found a new method that allowed me no irritation. I was circumcised as a boy, but I have loose skin that allows me to masturbate using the skin. This is still the method I use today, although I do prefer to use lube when possible.

Masturbation was a private thing for me, and I would have been horrified to be caught in the act. My parents respected my bedroom privacy so I never had to worry about getting caught. I did come home one day to find my parents in my room cleaning. My mother held up a wadded up handkerchief that she thought I used to blow my nose. I remember the horror of walking in and having her hold up the hankie and asking me if I was having some nasty sinus problems. I was scolded for not washing it sooner. I quickly grabbed it and put it in to be washed. I don't remember my dad's reaction; I still wonder if either of them had a clue. Due to being raised so religiously, many times I tried to quit masturbating. I think I once made it a couple weeks before I gave in and started back to my usual at least once-a-day habit. I soon convinced myself that something so awesome could not possibly be wrong.

I never had pornography until after I started college, so masturbation involved fantasy. As most gay youth, I was struggling with my sexual orientation at this time, so pictures of girls did nothing for me, although I dreamed of being married and having kids. I fantasized about everything: guys I knew, pictures in magazines, or people I saw in a mall. Anything at that age can send you in a hormonal fit for the nearest restroom. At 17 during a road trip to Six Flags Over Texas, my best friend and I came out to each other. At least, we sort of did. We both confessed to a deep, dark secret of an attraction to men. We both said we weren't gay but had this "problem." We immediately made plans to be alone with each other to see what trouble we could get into. We ditched our group of high school friends who were going to a football game, and took his car to a lake nearby. I guess things started out as talking, but eventually it started to heat up. I still remember to this day his hand touching my inner thigh. I was wearing shorts, and it was like electricity shooting through my body. We then began to kiss, and eventually we had oral sex in the back of his car. That night began a special relationship that lasted into my second year of college. While both of us are gay, we did not ever commit to a real relationship. It was a sexual relationship and never moved past that. He lives in a different state now, but we are still best friends.

After the end of my tryst with my best friend, I looked for more outlets to my never-ending horniness. I soon found my answer. At my university, there was a place you could go to relieve such tensions: There was a building on campus that housed a "tea room" (although I didn't know that term until later). A couple of stalls had appropriately sized holes. It became not only a place to go when I was horny, but it became an obsession. I was hooked. It was safe and a fun way to ejaculate by receiving fellatio. I can't tell you how many "straight" fraternity guys in my classes would go into the stalls and get sucked or even do some sucking. Guys I would see around campus would appear and sit down. Soon their erection would be in my mouth, or vice versa. Even after I stopped going to college, I would return to this place for occasional fun. WARNING: Police sometimes go to these places, so be safe. I recommend staying away from rest areas, malls, etc., as that would be dangerous. The campus police didn't watch this place. Don't get caught in a bad situation! I've heard horror stories.

I have read a lot on JackinWorld about readers having special friends to masturbate with, that want to masturbate with their friends, and those that get to with their brothers/cousins. I have to say this is awesome, and I'm glad to see some people didn't have such a repressive childhood as I did. If you are considering asking a friend, go for it. Don't be like I was and regret it when you're older. I wish I had taken some opportunities to ask. I am in a happy, emotionally and sexually fulfilling relationship today, but I love coming to JackinWorld regularly to read the biographies and comments. I still masturbate sometimes by myself, although I love doing it with my boyfriend more. I am 29 and usually masturbate at least once a day. I hope it never slows down!