Though as a young boy I was unaware of the name for masturbation, or even the fact that it was sexual, I engaged in it privately from my earliest memories. At that age I was unable to ejaculate, but I nevertheless enjoyed the pleasure induced by orgasm.
Before I could ejaculate, my method of masturbation involved humping a bed with increasing speed. I wore my briefs while doing this in order to hold my penis in place. Once I began ejaculating at age 13, however, this practice began to stain my underwear and sheets. I wasn't so concerned about my mother discovering my activities; I was unhappy and disgusted with the mess I was creating. I didn't enjoy wearing wet underwear, nor did I want to draw attention to my newfound ability by putting an extra pair of underwear in the hamper each day. Plus, sleeping in a wet bed was something I left behind when I was 6.
I began wearing boxers around this time, and they failed to hold my penis in place, so thrusting against my bed became less effective. I learned from conversations with friends that the traditional method was to clench your penis in your fist. Rather than be laughed at, I pretended during conversations that I employed this method. And I vowed to switch.
My first few attempts were failures. I would begin moving my fist up and down, and nothing much would happen. Even though I could ejaculate, my penis had still not grown substantially as it would in the years to follow. After several trials, I managed to get closer to orgasm, but still to no avail. In the end, I'd always put on an old pair of briefs and finish the job. It was just too frustrating to follow through after more than 20 minutes of trying. Eventually I learned that by using only a few of my fingers instead of my entire fist, I could reach orgasm more easily.
Over the years, as I progressed through puberty, I adjusted my technique to account for my growing member. Also, my cleanup method became standardized. At first, I would sort of just do whatever, often ejaculating all over my hands or self because I didn't prep much for my sessions. As I grew older, I started using Kleenex, which I would place over my penis head when orgasm was imminent.
I never learned about masturbation from sex education in school, but I did have one awkward conversation with my father. I initiated it mostly in hopes that he'd address some of my concerns. The fact is, I felt kind of silly and guilty about masturbation. I felt I was doing something only tiny children did before they hit puberty, and that part of becoming an adult was giving it up. Even though I was 14 or 15, my father was actually surprised that I masturbated. He was more amused than critical, because he hadn't started doing it until college. This fact addressed my worries, and from that point forward, I never really felt bad about what I was doing.
In college, I had the same roommate for a couple years before I became eligible for having my own room. That's pretty much the only time I've had to worry about being interrupted. When I lived at home, I had my own room with a lock on it. I found college sort of annoying because of this lack of privacy. Once, when I returned to my dorm early after a class got canceled, I caught my roommate off guard. He was sitting there naked and looking at porn on his computer. It was kind of funny and we both laughed about it. Though he had never interrupted me masturbating, a month or two later, he walked in while I was hooking up with a girl. I had brought her back from a bar and hadn't warned him about it. He was cool about it, though, and gave me some time alone with my lady friend. I guess he felt like he owed it to me since I had given him some time alone when I walked in on him masturbating.
When neither of us managed to pick up girls, once in a while my roommate and I would watch pornography together. During one instance he just walked over to his bed and got under the covers and started masturbating. I found this sort of weird, and it made me feel uncomfortable. I guess he thought it was okay since I had walked in on him that time. Walking out would have made the situation a big deal, so I just let him go about his business and went to bed. When he did it again, I just figured what the heck — the lights are off, I'll be under my covers, and who wants to go to bed with a massive erection?
I've never really understood the people on this site who describe masturbating other dudes or even just in view of them. I've never done that nor wanted to. I was relieved, however, that my roommate wouldn't call me a freak for masturbating and that he engaged in the activity as well.
Since finishing college and getting older, my routine hasn't changed all that much. Though I've enjoyed sexual intercourse and oral sex, I don't enjoy being masturbated. The women I've been with simply aren't capably of doing it successfully, and I see no reason for them to persist when I'm quite good at it myself. The main change is that over the years, pornography has become increasingly accessible to me. I continue to use the fist method while occasionally reverting to the old method when I'm prepared for longer cleanup.
Do you find yourself masturbating more often during some seasons than others? Why?
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Increasingly accessible
Gender:
Male