With gusto

From my earliest memories, I knew "playing with myself" was fun. Right behind that memory is the memory of my mother telling me not to "play with myself," so never again did I do it — in front of her, anyway. No big deal was made of it, but I sensed it was not an activity for her to see again. My siblings were sisters and we all satisfied ourselves that boys and girls were different and pretty much let it go at that.

As a youngster, we neighborhood boys used to gather in the bushes in the alley and talk about sex, what girls looked like, and try to guess who had a "pointed" penis (uncircumcised) or a "round head" (circumcised). I had decided it had to do with body style — the chubby guys seemed to have "pointed" ones, and us slimmer boys had "round" ones. We had several of each in the neighborhood and generally showed and shared that information. It was not at all uncommon for us to gather by twos or threes and masturbate together — in tree houses, in "forts" in the park, in the bushes in the alleys, or under someone's house. I don't think any of us ever helped the other guy, but it was certainly show and tell. I also don't recall any one of us "discovered" masturbation. We all just seemed to know how, enjoyed doing it, and knew it was an activity best not shared with our mothers. We were richly blessed with secret places to go for our fun.

I have no recollection either of my first climax, or my first productive ejaculation. Several of the slightly older boys ejaculated, and when it came my turn, so did I. It seemed natural and proper. I don't think that anyone was excluded for not being there quite yet.

I grew up in the Bible Belt, and when our hormones began raging, we had preachers come to school and put in us the fear of eternal damnation if we had sex. I don't, however, remember any of them condemning masturbation. But I don't remember them encouraging it, either. As a result of the "eternal damnation" bit, I was introduced to male/female sex rather late in life. My masturbatory life was full and varied, however. I was quite concerned that those preachers might just be right about "real" sex, but masturbation seemed safe and okay.

When I went into the Navy, my masturbation habits became personal and solo. I do remember one conversation in the barracks once — another young sailor was telling me about how his friend masturbated. He described how he spit on his penis. Huh? Why? "Well, for lubrication." Hmmm. I had learned something that day, and I found that a bit of lubrication made it possible to masturbate much more often, and with much more gusto, without damaging myself. A wonderful bit of information I took to heart. He also mentioned that a girl had told him it took her only one finger to masturbate. Since I really didn't know much about a girl's anatomy, I wasn't sure how that might work — and to this day I haven't had the pleasure of watching a girl masturbate herself. I know how it is done now, and I have tried to masturbate girls as a part of foreplay, but no girl has offered to masturbate with me around. Someday I would love to have that experience: to be there when a girl masturbates herself to a rip-roaring climax.

One girlfriend wanted to see what sperm looked like, so I masturbated for her and let her see the sperm squirt on my chest. Later she wanted to masturbate me by hand, and after a bit of teaching she got darn good at it. She would often masturbate me while I was shaving in the morning. It was a wonderful way to start the day.

I wrecked my first marriage over my expectations of — and for — sex. I wanted more than she was willing to give, and I wasn't at all reasonable about the differences. With my current wife, I have accepted her feelings about certain practices, and I use masturbation to fill in my needs. This marriage is much more mature and happier. Our life is built on things other than sex, and my masturbation takes the edge off of my sex drive. I don't think she knows of my habits, but she might. She would understand if so.

As I grow older, I'm having some problems with erectile dysfunction. It takes more and more stimulation for me to get an erection, and I'm able to hold it for only brief periods of time. Masturbation is a perfect way to handle this problem. I can work with what I have, or sometimes I use my doctor-prescribed vacuum pump to help out. Either way, is fun and productive. I may try Viagra some day, but for the moment it seems very expensive. If I do go that route, it will certainly be used only for intercourse. My loving and trusty hand can take care of the rest.