I'm a late-40s male who has been married over 20 years and masturbated for about 35. Though I can honestly say I am above average in looks, I have always far preferred my private pleasures to the anxiety and uncertainties of searching out partners for casual sex. While I'd classify myself as being on the straight side of Kinsey's 7-point scale, marriage never slowed down my masturbation fun — it just added another type of regular sex. I do enjoy my left hand: It's always there for me. I don't have to worry about its moods, or about adequate foreplay or premature ejaculation. I can do whatever turns me on without worry of offending it, and it doesn't make any demands, before or after.
My first sexual experience was with my sister when I was about 3; she must have been about 8. She and her friends had been playing doctor, and she decided to teach me. We went down in the basement, and I took off my clothes and got on the "examining table." She then proceeded to very gently "take my temperature." I remember the anal sensation as being very pleasant. For better or worse, she and her friends got caught shortly after that, and she never "doctored" me again. Having no brothers, and being brought up in the sexually repressed era of the 1950s, I learned about sex through experimentation and exploration. The first time I remember being really sexually aroused was 2 or 3 years later, when I was 5 or 6. Three neighborhood girls decided to show my friends and me their panties, to prove to us they were no big thing for us to be so interested in. (Their plan failed.) They put their skirts over their heads and danced around. I can't say whether I had an erection or not, but I know I felt sexually frustrated — I wanted something and didn't know what it was. I don't truly remember having an erection until I started getting terrific ones walking home from school with my girl friend in 6th grade. I was about 12 and didn't know what to do with erections except be embarrassed and walk with my notebook in front of me. When I was alone, it felt good to hold it in my hand.
One day I was in the bathroom playing with it and thought about rubbing some of my mother's hand lotion on it. That felt pretty good! I kept doing it, and all of a sudden it got all tight, it started spasming, and I felt a really interesting sensation in my lower groin. (Nothing came out, except a couple drops of clear, sticky liquid.) I had no idea what had happened, but I thought maybe I'd busted something! During the next day, I got to thinking that it felt pretty good, so maybe I should try it again (and again, and again...).
A friend of mine had a paper route on the college campus and sometimes got paid in used "skin magazines." Now, this was in the early 1960s, when "the air was clean and sex was dirty," and you never saw a hint of pubic hair or genitals of any sort, except in nudist magazines (which were only slightly better than no picture at all). I still spent nearly every afternoon during junior high school holding my best friend in my left hand and a skin magazine in my right, fantasizing about hidden delights. (As an aside, I am right handed but masturbate and urinate with my left. In later years, I noticed that my father also used his left hand when urinating. It was interesting to see the JackinWorld survey on this.) Though my parents told me I was not supposed to do "it," I can't help but think they preferred "it" to an unwanted pregnancy, and pretty much ignored it. Since both my parents worked, I had plenty of free time after school to experiment.
In the course of my explorations, I discovered I have a particularly sensitive spot on my penis, in addition to the head. About an inch below the head, on the line of what I assume is circumcision scar tissue, there is an area over the tube that carries urine (urethra) that is extremely sensitive. On rare occasions, when particularly aroused, I have been able to have an orgasm by rubbing only that area with the tip of my index finger — sometimes even through my outer clothing (as on one of the first occasions I saw an x-rated movie). Perhaps this is the fabled "male G-spot." I don't know, but I'm glad I found it.
I'm also lucky I was never told masturbation was a sin, or would cause tell-tale signs on my body, or any of the other lies that fools torture adolescents with. However, I quickly learned that other boys were not as lucky, and that I should be very careful whom I confided in.
I did have a pleasant experience with a school friend, though. Eddie and I had been pals through junior high school. He was always a big talker about all the cool things he had done, and he was a football player, too. One spring afternoon, when we were in 9th grade, he came over to my house after school. We were alone in the house, goofing around. Somehow we got into a water fight and both got soaked. We went down to the basement, stripped down, and put our clothes in the dryer. While we were standing around waiting for them to dry, we got to talking about sex. I don't remember whether he or I started getting an erection first, but pretty soon we both decided to masturbate together. At the end of the summer, he had me over to spend the night. We slept in the same bed and masturbated each other. I remember thinking it was a lot harder to reach orgasm with someone else's hand than it was with my own. That fall we both got our driver's licenses and started dating girls, like we were supposed to. We never got together again after that summer, and never mentioned it, but we shared stories about our girlfriends and what they'd let us do. We remained friends through college, got married, and still see each other at high school reunions. I think we both really enjoyed it, and would probably have continued if we hadn't been worried about being "queer." (At that time you either were or you weren't — there was no in between.)
By the time I got back from Viet Nam (no good stories there), skin magazines had changed to what used to be rarely available from Scandinavia and what's still commonly available today. In the early 1970s, the new thing was 8mm film booths in adult bookstores. Visiting them was a regular treat for me, though privacy was often provided only by a curtain. The first "live girl show" I went to was in about 1980. I still like to go to one occasionally and like masturbating in front of a strange, attractive woman. In about 1984, when a local adult bookstore started renting videotapes shown in a private room, I couldn't wait to try it. I had 5 separate orgasms while masturbating during the movie I'd rented — a feat I've never matched before or after. Only once did I masturbate anonymously with another guy in an adult video arcade, watching each other through a strategically placed hole between booths. I still fantasize about it. For the past 15 years or so, since I've had adult videotapes of my own, I don't go to adult bookstores in town often, but I still like to check them out when I travel.
I had an interesting experience when I was in another city about 5 years ago. I was checking out the adult bookstores and admiring the hookers on the street (though it is a pleasure I have never indulged). One shop had a small indoor theater. I went in, paid the guy $5, and got buzzed in through the door. There were probably about 100 seats and about 30 guys in there. I sat down in a less populated part of the theater and watched the (straight) porno flick while my eyes adjusted to the darkness. After a while, I looked back across the theater and thought I saw some guy's penis out! Well, I looked back at the screen for a while, and in another few minutes looked back, and several more were out! So I started to join the fun. In a few minutes I looked back behind me, and there were 3 or 4 guys in the row behind me all stroking it. I hadn't been that turned on in a long time. I managed to calm down enough to hold it and enjoy the show, both on and off the screen. I'm still not sure whether guys sitting there masturbating were hoping someone would sit down next to them and help them out, or whether they were like me — just sitting there enjoying the experience and not looking for anything more. I must have sat there for about 2 hours. After that, I went down the street to a "live girl show" and paid her $20 to show me hers while I finished mine. Definitely a memorable evening! So whenever I find myself in a strange city with time on "my hands," I look for a similar adult theater. (Note: Be advised that in public theaters, this is indecent exposure in the eyes of the law. I understand that in Massachusetts you may even have to register as a sex offender if convicted. I hope that soon the concept of implied mutual consent upon entering the premises will replace this persecution.)
Lubes & Preferences
After starting to worry that my mother would figure out her hand lotion was disappearing too fast, I switched to Vaseline. I also used spit, but only as an emergency measure. I can remember my saliva getting thick and ropey as a result of just thinking about masturbation. Where I live now, the air is so dry it's impossible to maintain a good slippery coating with anything water-based. So I'm strictly an oil-based-lube guy. I've gone through a number of giant, economy-size Vaseline containers "single handedly." But after supporting the Vaseline company for about 20 years, I started experimenting with different lubes for better sensations. A nearby store sells professional massage supplies, and I have purchased a number of massage lotions that work well alone and in combination. Good Vibrations sells an oil-based masturbation grease that I like, too. Unfortunately I can't find Albolene where I live but would like to try it.
I also have continued to enjoy pornography throughout my life: mostly straight stuff, particularly with anal sex (gee, I wonder why?). I've tried on women's panties while masturbating, and they give me a rush, but they're not a regular thing. I do like women in sexy lingerie — I mean really sexy underwear like black nylons, garter belts, thongs, lacy bras and panties, etc. — definitely NOT pantyhose. Whoever invented those "neutering" garments ought to forced to wear them during sex. I remember the good old days when I was in high school: a girl's undergarments were complex, mysterious, and exciting to explore. But I digress. Another thing that's hard to find is videos of men masturbating solo. I've checked out many adult video stores in my travels, and they seem not to be in much demand. I'd love to find another man to masturbate with occasionally, but the danger of making the suggestion to the wrong person overwhelms the desire. I don't get off on gay pornography, though I fantasize occasionally about doing some of those things before I go to sleep. I've never...had the opportunity? the nerve? really wanted to?
A couple of years ago, I went to a place where you could have private lingerie shows. I walked in at the same time as another guy about my age. We both checked the place out (they were busy, and only one girl was available — about a "6"), and decided it wasn't worth the money. We both walked outside at the same time and stood there talking about different "girl shows" in different cities for a while. I've often wondered why I didn't suggest that he and I go somewhere and masturbate together: we were obviously both horny. So I've come to suspect that I prefer the fantasy to the reality. When do I masturbate? Whenever my wife is gone long enough — which is never more than 2 or 3 times a week. At my age, that's adequate. I know some guys get into masturbating with their wives, but we never have. We both know the other does it, but we both seem to prefer to do it alone. Since I'm a "lube man" I don't usually go for quickies in the shower. I like to put on an adult video, strip down, lube up, and tease it for 10-15 minutes before ejaculating. I also like anal stimulation (surprise!) with my finger or a small vibrator, but not all the time.
I guess I was about 14 the first time I masturbated outside. I was walking with my dog out in the woods (this was back in the Midwest) and thought, Why not? The change in environment (from my bathroom or bedroom) heightened the excitement. I have since found places isolated enough that I was able to completely strip down and walk around or lie in the sun while I masturbated. Throughout my life, masturbation in the "deep woods" has continued to be an ongoing part of my enjoyment of nature.
Well, that pretty well brings you up to date. I hope you've enjoyed my story. I very much appreciate JackinWorld, because it has helped me (and I hope others) realize that these secrets of mine aren't so unusual, and certainly are nothing to be ashamed of. The only down side to enjoying masturbation so much may be that when having regular sex I have seldom been able to hold off orgasm for any length of time. I eventually slip over the edge, regardless of whether my wife has climaxed. Because I learned about masturbation without much guidance, I tried some things (which I haven't described) that one should not, and which I regret. I can say from my years of experience that you should never hesitate to enjoy your penis — it's the nicest toy you'll ever own — but only in privacy or with others in carefully considered circumstances and mutual consent.