I am an avid runner. I love the feeling of completing a 4-to-5-mile jog, when my body is exhausted and runner's high fills my head. I head straight to the bedroom and take it slow — thumb-and-forefinger style. Runner's high and sexual ecstasy combine like warm thunder in my body; then physical exhaustion settles with the afterglow of my orgasm to slam me into blissful sleep. If I don't have time to do this, I have to be careful to keep my mind busy — otherwise my distraction becomes pretty obvious!
- age 25, Minnesota
This Week's Wackiest Response:
Dead people — like, really old corpses that are ragged and maggot-eaten — or people that are just about to die. It's unbelievable, but they make me want to masturbate.
- age 18, Canada
To me there is no "non-sexual" activity or situation. Cooking, typing, sleeping, running, cleaning — everything can be sexual. Just rubbing against a counter at the right moment can make me want to masturbate. Eating really good food or brushing my hair — *anything* can be a turn-on.
- age 21, California (female)
Watching a nice soccer goal makes me want to masturbate absolutely immediately.
- age 18, The Netherlands
Almost anything can put me in the mood, especially going to the gym or running in the park. Also, doing laundry, cleaning the apartment, and buying underwear. The first two seem to me to be slightly boredom-related; the latter — well, I think underwear is sexy.
- age 28, New York
Anytime I worry about something or get nervous, I masturbate — usually more than at other times. School started last week, and I was worried about too many things to talk about. I spent so much time masturbating that my arm actually got sore. And tests make me nervous. When I took my driving test, I spent all that morning in the shower masturbating.
- age 16, Texas
When I shave or trim my beard, I find the sensation pretty arousing. I usually notice that when I'm done, my penis is leaking a bit of "pre-cum." That natural lubrication naturally leads to masturbation. Lately, however, I've been shaving in the shower — and for some reason, the stimulation isn't the same. Perhaps it's because of the distraction of water spraying on the rest of my body.
- age 36, Oregon
Riding on a motorbike — no shirt, no helmet — with just a pair of shorts on makes me want to masturbate. I get rock-hard. I think it might be the wind blowing around all of my body, or the excitement of being dangerous.
- age 16, United Kingdom
Where I live there are *at least* 4 brushfires a month. For some reason, the smell of the burning wood turns me on. Every time I smell it, whether I'm at school, lacrosse practice, or just driving around town, I daydream about being in my backyard masturbating.
- age 14, Florida (female)
I seem to get the urge to masturbate whenever I hike alone. I have masturbated in the woods many times, and the smell of a mountain on an autumn day gets me right in the mood.
- age 37, Utah
Whenever I make pizza, I feel a strange urge to smear my penis in tomato paste and masturbate. I dont know why — it's the strangest thing.
- age 16, Australia
Riding my bike definitely makes me want to masturbate. The friction against the seat stimulates the entire area from my anus to my scrotum — I usually have to go take care of the "problem" as soon as I get home.
- age 36, Washington
In a movie or a computer game, whenever I see anyone being tortured, it is a real turn-on. I've always been a "tie-up" type. Yes, I know — it's sick. (However, I'd never do it to another person without their consent.) And, according to some people, I'm probably going to go to hell for it. Hmm ... Then I hope they're right about people being tortured constantly in hell!
- age 15, Wisconsin
At work I often find it difficult to concentrate and need a trip to the bathroom to masturbate. However, sometimes I am alone and can masturbate right at my desk and then continue with my work.
- age 58, New York
Anytime I ride in elevators I want to masturbate.
- age 17, Texas
After trying a technique I found that involved rubbing my clitoris softly with a makeup brush, I wanted to try different sizes, shapes, and textures of brushes. Once I was in an art supply store, looking at the soft watercolor brushes, and imagined how they would feel on me. I got very turned on and wanted to masturbate. Now I find that I become aroused and want to masturbate whenever I walk through stores that have soft brushes or feathers or similar art supplies on display for sale.
- age 26, Ontario, Canada (female)
Whenever I'm in the bathtub, I want to stroke it.
- age 15, Michigan
Horseback riding gives me an erection that makes me want to wank.
- age 30, Ireland
Smoking. For some reason, the thought of having an addiction that I can't control is a huge turn-on for me.
- age 19, Canada
Cleaning the head of my penis in the shower sometimes makes me start to masturbate.
- age 33, Netherlands
For some weird reason, whenever I shave in the morning I get a big erection, and I feel like I just have to masturbate. When I finish shaving, I usually go and do just that.
- age 15, Canada
Watching sheep play in yon fields turns me on!
- age 21, Scotland
Losing makes me want to masturbate. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I am a bad loser. Whenever I have lost any kind of game, I become extremely angry — and sometimes horny, too. I have no idea why.
- age 17, Denmark
There's a certain time of year that some sort of tree produces an aroma that drives me crazy. Every time I drive through a certain portion of the mountain and take a whiff of it, I become horny. On more then one occasion I've had to pull off into a secluded area and play with myself. Luckily, I haven't been caught yet.
- age 42, California
I take the train to school every day, and the shaking of the train gives me an erection. Sometimes it goes away before my stop, but other times it doesn't, and I have to try to cover it. Most times in the mornings it's not so bad that I need to masturbate — but in the afternoons if it happens, I usually masturbate when I get home.
- age 12, Australia
I first learned to masturbate in an unusual way. When I was 5, I was at a neighbor's house, and the popping of a plastic bag startled me. For some reason, I became aroused. Since then, whenever I see people, especially women, about to pop an empty plastic bag, or even just playing with or holding one, my heart starts pounding. After the bag has been popped, I can't wait to be alone to masturbate.
- age 35, Ohio
I don't know why, but at church I always get an erection and want to go into the bathroom and masturbate. I guess I'm just a freak.
- age 14, California
Attics in old houses, with their distinctive musty odor, can still give me an erection and a desire to masturbate. When I was a teen we lived in a huge old Victorian house with an attic that became my almost daily, private masturbation playground for very creative and often athletic sessions. Old furniture and interesting objects became props when I used a camera on a tripod with a self-timer to photograph myself. I would use mirrors to watch myself, or exposed beams to hang from by my knees so I could ejaculate into my mouth. The possibilities for enjoying myself and experimenting were endless.
- age 54, Maine
Okay, this is a weird one — the smell of coconut gives me an erection, and if I continue to smell it I get so aroused I have to masturbate. I don't know how this started or why it happens, it but it happens every time. Any food or drinks with coconut have the same effect. I wonder if coconut has the same effect on anyone else?
- age 15, Australia
Sad occasions — a dog dying, relationship breakup — that type of situation makes me want to masturbate.
- age 35, Ohio
It may sound strange, but whenever I see a Webster's dictionary I can't help but masturbate. It's unexplainable. I just look at the dictionary, look up masturbation, and then I masturbate to the definition of masturbation!
- age 15, New Jersey
Cutting the grass on a hot day — the heat, the sweat, the smell of the grass — it's all a turn-on for me. I can't wait to get my shorts off and my hand into action.
- age 56, Georgia
I have a bus-stop fetish. I'm not sure how it started — I've never had sex at a bus stop, or anything like that — but I always get horny when I'm waiting at one.
- age 18, Colorado (female)
Visiting somewhere new by myself — places such as a new camping spot, a hilltop lookout, a new office where I will work. It seems almost like "marking my territory." The urge is quite strong.
- age 62, Arkansas
I work on a farm way out in the country, and when nobody is around, I like to plow the fields naked. The tractor seat is rounded at the tip and is 3" thick. I take one look at it and I stop the tractor and use the seat as a penis. Then I turn the tractor back on in park — the vibration is excellent.
- age 13, Wisconsin (female)
Mathematics class *always* gives me a throbbing erection. It has nothing to do with classmates or teachers, either; it's the mathematics itself that turns me on. I think this is a decidedly male demeanor. It would make sense that math to men is a sexual thing, wouldn't it? Men are supposed to be naturally rational, no?
- age 18, Florida
House-sitting always makes me want to masturbate. Being in someone else's house, sitting on their bed, and being completely alone in the house turns me on for some reason.
- age 14, Washington
I always want to masturbate after I watch a woman have a sneezing fit. Don't ask me why!
- age 31, New York
I really like nighttime thunderstorms. I love to masturbate when I hear them. They are so low and powerful they just make me want to masturbate. It feels amazing to ejaculate just as a loud clap of thunder sounds.
- age 17, Canada
I was with a friend who was eating ice cream. I've had a crush on him for about a year, but I never told him. Seeing him licking the ice cream turned me on so much that I couldn't resist telling him I was getting horny because of what he was doing. He just giggled and asked if I would like to masturbate with him. I totally went out of my mind when he said that. And we did — we even masturbated each other. Since that day he's been my boyfriend!
- age 17, Belgium (female)