How I clean up depends on where I masturbate and what I use for lubrication. Usually, I do it in my room at my computer, so I'm sitting in a chair with my penis pointing up. When I ejaculate, the semen sometimes spurts out onto my belly, but more often dribbles out into the pocket created by my thumb and forefinger. Then I can lick it off my hand if I feel like it, or wipe it with a facial tissue if I don't. If I'm lying in bed and masturbating, my semen always goes onto my belly and I almost always wipe it up with a tissue. If I use light oil for lube, such as baby oil, massage oil, or water-based personal lubricant, wiping it up with a tissue suffices. But sometimes I like to use a heavier lube, starting with Vaseline or Albolene, and then mixing in a little lighter oil. In that case, I first wipe with facial tissue and then go into my bathroom to clean up with soap and warm water.
- age 62, New Jersey
This Week's Wackiest Response:
No. I have a big puddle of semen that I ejaculate into regularly.
- age 14, New Mexico
I always clean up the same way after masturbating (probably due to a minor case of OCD). First, I need two things – a box of tissue and a washcloth. Before I ejaculate, I place a tissue on my stomach to catch most of the semen. Afterward, I remove the tissue and use the washcloth to clean the lube and semen from my penis. Then I go to the bathroom to wash off my hand and flush the tissue.
- age 21, Indiana
I don't need to clean up! I buy thin sandwich bags and put one over my penis when I masturbate. When I ejaculate, all the mess is captured in the bag and I simply throw it into the waste bin.
- age 36, Netherlands
I usually have a roll of toilet paper nearby to clean up with, and then I flush it down the toilet. However, a couple of times I've ejaculated in my underwear and then gone to the toilet right away to clean up. Once I ejaculated in my hand and ate it all. I used to ejaculate straight into the toilet a lot, but I don't anymore because I have a better experience if I lie down.
- age 15, Tennessee
When I am done masturbating, I always clean up the same way: I go into the bathroom, sit on the toilet, and take a pee. Then I wash the area where my semen landed and then wash my hands.
- age 20, New Jersey
Whenever I masturbate, I always clean up the same way. I ejaculate into a tissue and simply throw it into the garbage.
- age 17, Canada
Being a girl, I generally don't need to clean up. I know that some girls have some sort of ejaculation with their orgasm, but I'm not one of them. Sometimes I wash my hands afterward if it's in the middle of the day, but if I'm in bed for the night, I usually just roll over and go back to sleep. Yay for the conveniences of femininity!
- age 22, Tennessee (female)
I use toilet paper or paper towels. I used to use my regular towel – you know, for like taking a shower – but then my parents started to notice something on the towels, so I had to stop.
- age 15, New Jersey
I always masturbate with a sock over my penis. The sock rubbing against the head of my penis makes the orgasm even better. Plus, it's very easy cleanup.
- age 21, Michigan
My cleanup always consists of wiping up with a tissue or two and wrapping them with more tissues to keep that bleach-like smell from flooding my bedroom.
- age 16, New York
I always clean up the same way: Almost immediately after my orgasm, I pee and then I wipe myself with a wet washcloth. Then I wash my sex toys, dry them, and put them away.
- age 29, California (female)
I usually masturbate naked and when I ejaculate, I let it go all over my stomach and chest. Then I clean it up with toilet paper.
- age 13, Nevada
I tend to clean up the same way most of the time. While not quite the most enjoyable way, the cleanest way I have found is to just pinch my foreskin shut and then empty it into the toilet or a rag or something. Then I use a rag to clean up my penis. This usually works fine, but sometimes I just get into a groove (especially when my girlfriend is involved) and I just let myself spray everywhere, which almost always results in the two of us taking a shower together – and who can argue with that?
- age 19, Georgia
I usually use facial tissue. Sometimes I leave it there for the post-drips.
- age 17, Canada
When I was younger, I would always masturbate in the shower. The water rinsed everything away nicely. Starting around age 14, it was no longer enough for me to masturbate once a day in the shower. So I started masturbating in my room and I used a washcloth from the bathroom. That lasted until one day when my mom found the washcloth and gave me a lecture. After that – and ever since – I have used disposable tissues.
- age 32, Indiana
Usually, I wait about a minute or so or until I stop breathing heavily. Sometimes I hold my penis at the base, rub some semen onto the head, and then wipe up. Sometimes when I am in a very horny mood, I taste most of it and then wipe the rest, but that is rare. When my friend and I do mutual, he likes to have me use a warm washcloth. After we are finished, one of us goes into the bathroom, wets a washcloth with hot water, and then we clean each other.
- age 17, Texas
Mostly, I ejaculate onto my chest, so I scoop it up with my hands and then wash it away down the sink.
- age 16, United Kingdom
I am less fastidious now than when I was younger and living with my parents. During my first 10 years of masturbating, I always ejaculated into the toilet; usually, I was naked, since I would shower or bathe immediately afterward. Later, when I masturbated in my bed, I ejaculated into toilet paper, which flushes easily and is less likely than facial tissues to clog the toilet. Occasionally I would use a condom, which further simplified cleanup. Now, in my mature years, I often ejaculate onto myself – naked, of course – before showering. When I masturbate naked at my computer, I often clean up slightly – before showering – with my T-shirt or boxers, especially if I'm still engaged in "lively conversation" with a fellow masturbator. If I'm standing, I will ejaculate directly onto one of those garments. Living alone and doing my own laundry has a few benefits, eh?
- age 62, Michigan
I once had to eat my semen when I was nearly "caught," but I found that the taste and texture did not bother me. I find it to be neater than any other method, and it is quick. I don't derive any sexual pleasure from it; it just seems natural.
- age 16, Missouri
I just pull up my pants and let the semen soak into my briefs.
- age 22, Georgia
I don't always clean up the same way, but basically, I have two ways depending on how I masturbate: (1) I ejaculate into the toilet and then wipe the end of my penis, after milking out the semen and putting a piece of toilet tissue on the tip to catch any remaining semen. (2) I ejaculate into a condom; I leave the condom on until I am certain that the semen has all drained from my penis and then remove the condom, rinse it out, and wash my penis at the wash basin. I frequently wash the condom in liquid hand soap, rinse it, dry it, powder it, and then roll it up for another time. I usually use a condom about once a week and ejaculate into the toilet the other two or three times a week that I masturbate.
- age 72, Texas
It depends on what mood I'm in – I usually just go quickly to the bathroom by my room, rinse off, and maybe use the toilet, like right before bedtime. If I'm really horny and I can get up the nerve, I use the toilet before I go to bed and then after I ejaculate, I eat the semen. It's not that hard to do once you have done it the first time. However, it took me a lot of sessions to get up the courage for that first taste.
- age 15, Florida
Because my brother and I sleep in the same bedroom (he's 13), I usually masturbate while showering, so there's nothing to clean up. It goes down the drain. Sometimes I do it in the bathroom but ejaculate into the toilet. Then I use toilet paper to clean up my penis.
- age 15, Indiana
I smear the semen all over my stomach and legs and then remain naked till it dries up. Then I put my clothes on.
- age 21, Kentucky
Since I live in a dorm and have two roommates, I have to masturbate into and clean up with the same thing each time: a sock.
- age 18, California
Usually, I wipe up my semen with facial tissues, and then if I'm not going to take a shower (or have already taken one), I use a washcloth to try to clean the excess oil from my penis. However, I usually masturbate before showering so that all I need to do is wipe up with tissues and then get in the shower.
- age 47, Tennessee
It's varied over the years, depending on where I am. For years I cleaned up with the socks that I had just taken off when I got into bed. I used an old rag for a while, until I couldn't stand the smell. The socks went into the laundry and no one was the wiser. Nowadays while masturbating at the computer, I like to lick up my semen so it's an easy cleanup, but I still use a sock if I have a morning session, either in bed or sitting in the living room watching the morning news.
- age 58, Ohio
I don't clean up the same way all the time, because I masturbate in different locations. When I am in the shower, I just wash off. Sometimes when I am in bed, I just use an old pillow cover that is under my bed. And then for some reason, I sometimes get the urge to just lick it off my hands.
- age 18, Wyoming
Occasionally, I just let it go into my hands, wipe those off with some toilet paper or facial tissues, and then wash them. However, usually I just ejaculate straight into some toilet paper, facial tissues, or onto something flushable such as a piece of a plastic bag or paper. I prefer tissues whenever possible because toilet paper sticks to me. Everything gets flushed. Oh, and on a related note, I usually put down a towel to sit on so I don't get that "butt smell" on the chair.
- age 22, Canada
Being female, my sessions generally aren't messy. About all I have to do is put away any props I use – usually a vibrator or a pair of track pants rolled up tightly and stuffed down a pillow, which I lie on and rub against. Cleaning up may involve straightening the bedclothes and pillows – and perhaps my hair, I guess.
- age 20, Australia (female)
Usually, I just rub it in onto my stomach and then call it a night.
- age 17, California
I clean up by showering: I ejaculate into the shower, and then I climb in and have a shower to clean up. To save water, I don't run the water when I masturbate.
- age 21, United Kingdom
I don't always clean up the same way. When I masturbate with just my hand, I usually ejaculate onto myself and clean up with a couple of tissues. Sometimes I masturbate while watching a video and ejaculate onto a board to see how far and how much I shoot, which I also clean up with some tissues. At other times, I pretend to have sex with something and ejaculate into a sock that I may use for another time. The last thing that I may do is to masturbate over myself and ejaculate into my mouth.
- age 22, New Jersey
Most of the time, I use the paper towels my mom left in my room and suggested I use, instead of a shirt, bed sheet, or anything else that could stain. It's cool that my mom and I can talk about this.
- age 13, Florida
I always catch my semen in my hand, so there's no real cleanup. I go to the nearest sink, rinse off my hand, and then I'm done.
- age 70, California
Being female, I don't have a whole lot to clean up, but still there is some. If I'm in bed just before going to sleep, I usually just wipe my hands on a facial tissue, or my pajamas, or sometimes I lick my fingers instead. If I'm not going to sleep, I go to the bathroom and wash my hands with a little soap and water. I reserve messy lubes such as baby oil for times when I know I'll be showering soon.
- age 17, Canada (female)
I almost always masturbate using a condom (I love the feeling of the latex sliding up and down my penis), so when I ejaculate, it's all nice and neat – I just toss the condom.
- age 23, Wisconsin
Most of the time I can clean up everything by just washing my hands, but sometimes I swallow my semen. When I masturbate, I just lift my legs over my head and aim for my mouth. At first it was kind of weird and gross, but it got better as I got used to it. If I feel like masturbating while standing up, I can aim and ejaculate into the toilet or sink, which is so much more convenient.
- age 17, Michigan
It depends on whether I masturbate alone or with a partner. By myself, it's usually the same – about 10 minutes or so after ejaculation, I clean myself with a tissue and let the tissue rest on my stomach for a while. I often fall asleep with my hands on my scrotum. If I'm with someone else, then usually they clean me up with either a tissue or a warm damp cloth – and I do the same for them. The cleanup in either case can be quite wonderful if done properly.
- age 27, Florida
It depends on the lube I use and where I'm doing it. If it's in the shower, there's no cleanup needed. If I'm doing it in my room with Vaseline, I have to take a shower after I masturbate. If I use talcum powder, I just sleep in it.
- age 14, Ohio
I would always clean up using tissues or toilet paper. But then one night I realized that if I were to leave it where it landed (assuming it was on my chest somewhere), and then rub it around my chest, it would dry up and disappear within a short time. How amazing is that?
- age 21, Washington
I always masturbate in my room, so I go through the same procedure for cleanup. This involves getting some article of clothing, usually underwear, from my washing basket. Then I just, um, clean it up. I try to keep it as discreet as possible, as I'd be pretty embarrassed if anyone found it. Even so, I think everyone in my house has pretty much worked it out by now. A big giveaway was when my mother bought me some tissues for my room. I didn't bother to ask why; I just sort of went along with it.
- age 16, United Kingdom
Since I always masturbate in my own room (apart from doing it the shower), I ejaculate onto my bed and don't really care about cleanup. My sheets are going to get washed at one point or another, and no one else has to care about it. If I let it come onto myself, I usually just rub it off with my bedspread or cover – or if I'm too tired, I just don't bother. (I usually masturbate at night.)
- age 20, Sweden
I keep a small, white washcloth underneath my bed for this very reason. For most sessions, I sit nude on my bed in the "Butterfly" position just before starting, lay the washcloth on top of my feet, and do my thing. When I ejaculate, it goes right into the washcloth. (Sometimes it blasts a little further if I don't aim carefully enough.) Then I fold the cloth in half, wipe the semen off my penis, fold it in half again, and then wipe the semen off my hand. It's quite methodical; I've been doing it this way for years, and I'll probably continue for the rest of my life.
- age 17, Kentucky
I live alone, so I usually just walk naked and gooey to the bathroom, wash my hands, and clean off the rest with a tissue. Depending on how long it has been since my last orgasm, sometimes it's trickier to get to the bathroom without dripping.
- age 29, Massachusetts
