My favorite situation involves getting muddy. I like to wear my Levis, T-shirt, briefs, and sneakers. I find some mud and jump in, rubbing mud all over myself. This gives me an instant erection. I lie in the mud, squishing it into my private areas. If I begin to peel off clothes, my drive increases. Sometimes I keep my clothes on; it all depends on how I feel. Rubbing creamy mud all over feels so erotic for a climax.
- age 40, California
This Week's Wackiest Response:
I like to have one peanut lying on my chest.
- age 17, Kentucky
When I was younger, before I moved away from home, I would ride out to a remote spot on the family ranch, strip down, lie in the tall grass, and let the sun shine on me and the wind caress my pubic hair. I would masturbate with my eyes closed and focus on the different sensations – warm sun, cool grass, light breeze. It was great!
- age 24, California
The quality of my masturbation sessions depends on three conditions: 1. Time: The more time I have, the better the session. If I've already done all my work as well, it's great! 2. Mood: If I'm happy, I don't feel the desire to masturbate quickly. It's fantastic! 3. Technique: If the technique is useful as well, my session is indescribable!
- age 16, Germany
I live in a house that is over 100 years old, so it is drafty in the winter. Therefore, I always wear a union suit to bed, and it seems that whenever I wear a union suit, I instantly become aroused. The masturbation session is wonderful – so much so that I sometimes wear a union suit to bed in the summer despite the heat!
- age 18, Wisconsin
I definitely need privacy. It's not good when you have to keep stopping because you think someone could just walk in!
- age 31, New Jersey (female)
I need several external conditions for a good session. The temperature must be comfortable. It really can't be too hot for me, but it could definitely be too cold. I must have some degree of privacy, although I'm not that particular and I don't mind people walking in on me. It doesn't matter what I lie on, as long as it's not cold. If there is a lot of noise in the house (such as TVs from other rooms) I cannot masturbate comfortably, so it should be quiet as well. If I don't have these things, I don't let it get on my nerves; I just go ahead and do it anyway.
- age 16, Illinois
My best situation is to masturbate with another person. I've masturbated with friends, both male and female, a few times. Once, 3 of us were staying in a hotel. We watched an adult film, and after a while we just agreed we all had to masturbate. We each got some toilet paper and masturbated as we watched the film. The presence of others masturbating was quite stimulating. When I was in school, I also had some close female friends who expressed a desire to see a male masturbate. I agreed to show them, but only if they masturbated, too. Those were my absolutely most mind-blowing sessions.
- age 28, Ohio
For a really good session, I need plenty of time and a warm, soft surface to lie on. I love to stop right before orgasm and start all over after a few minutes – such sessions can last an hour.
- age 17, Germany
My conditions are straightforward: erotic material (porn video, the Internet, or a booklet) and lots of time to have a go at it!
- age 24, Belgium
My perfect external conditions are probably to have my parents gone for a few hours, a warm bedroom, and to be lying naked on my bed, which is the most comfortable.
- age 15, Ireland
My friend and I like to go way out into the desert where there is no sign of civilization. We do this on summer nights when it is really hot and thousands of stars are out. We get out our sleeping bags and open them up so we're sleeping on top of them and not in them. Then we talk about girls, and then masturbation, and then we do it. It's great. Plus, the heat makes me feel so alive!
- age 18, Australia
I have a whirlpool bathtub and I love to lie in the warm water with the jets running while I masturbate. The warmth relaxes my muscles, and it seems to intensify my orgasm.
- age 23, Mississippi
Privacy allows me to groan as loudly as I want.
- age 17, Indiana
One of my most notorious external conditions is warm weather. No matter how much sex I am getting in warmer climates, I always want more, and then I still need to masturbate. Cold temperature does not move me to touch myself, actually.
- age 35, Massachusetts (female)
Usually I turn on the space heater in my room to let it get quite warm. I also enjoy lying down on a "furry" surface while I masturbate. Lying down on a furry blanket in a warm, toasty room is highly erotic to me.
- age 15, New York
Ideal conditions for me include time, privacy, and freedom from distracting sounds, such as loud neighbors, telephones, or doorbells ringing. I am retired, though, so these conditions usually are not a problem. Internal conditions are more likely to present a problem: fatigue, worry, or images that I cannot shake, or a headache or stomachache. Thank God, these rarely interfere.
- age 65, California
I like it when it rains. The pitter-patter turns me on and I am instantly masturbating!
- age 14, Massachusetts
Being nude in the woods on a summer night, feeling the cool rain fall on me through the trees, while standing in a soft patch of grass.
- age 26, Florida
I just have to see something that really turns me on. I am gay, so whenever I see a hot guy, especially if I can see his stomach, I need to masturbate. Also, the smell of baby oil gives me an erection.
- age 16, Arizona
I like the visuals of softcore pornography and the sound of slow piano music, maybe Fiona Apple or Tori Amos – maybe some incense burning, to give the room a sexy scent.
- age 18, New York
The best conditions: My son is away for the evening. Then I can listen to slow, sensual jazz, which puts me in the mood for masturbation. Plenty of lube is within reach. A CD player that can be programmed to several of my favorite "masturbation songs" adds atmosphere. These conditions usually have me masturbating for up to 90 minutes before I allow myself to ejaculate.
- age 44, Washington
I love to masturbate when I'm in a cold room lying on my fur rug. The feeling of the fur sliding between my vagina and butt crack gets me so horny! Whenever I do this, it seems that I can't control my moans. The cold just seems to arouse me. My nipples are erect and my whole body tingles. All of this, combined with my fingers sliding in and out of my vagina, makes me climax like crazy – it's awesome.
- age 17, Oregon (female)
When it's dark out, perhaps raining, and the soft scent of damp soil permeates my nostrils. There's no one else around – just pure silence and I am naked, touching satin sheets. Those must be the perfect conditions.
- age 23, Australia (female)
To set the mood for a great session, nothing beats the warmth of being in my bed with the down-feather comforter pulled up over my body. Another external condition that gets me horny is the sound of rain. I just love to wake to the sound of the rain pouring (or pounding) outside, and knowing the intense orgasm I will have. The sound of a winter storm is just as effective; I love being warm and snug in my bed as I hump away while reading erotic stories I got off the computer.
- age 16, Vermont
I live alone, so privacy is never an issue. If it's too cold in my bedroom to masturbate naked, I move into the comfortable confines of my bathroom, stretching out on the rug. Ideally, however, I prefer the security and comfort of my twin-size bed with its orthopedic mattress. In addition to low lighting and soft music, time and a smooth penis are my favorite external conditions; occasional shaving of hair from my shaft provides the smoothness.
- age 61, Michigan
This sounds strange, but the best external thing that helps me is my brother coming home from college. I have the room to myself when I masturbate during the week, but when he comes home on the weekends, we share the bedroom. Just knowing that he could wake up and find me masturbating in the middle of the night makes my sessions even more intense.
- age 16, California
My most enjoyable sessions have taken place while sitting naked in a steam room or sauna.
- age 30, Texas
A warm room, a soft bed, and a quiet house – or, warm sun, an empty beach, and the sound of crashing waves.
- age 41, California
One thing that helps me masturbate is the sound of another guy my age peeing into a toilet. The sound of the urine hitting the water gives me an instant erection. I guess you could say it's my fetish!
- age 13, Canada
I usually have the best masturbation sessions when I am in bed beside my wife. I am not sure whether it's the idea that she is sleeping and could wake up at any moment, or the sheer pleasure I get from watching her as I do it. When I get close, I usually go into the bathroom and place a hair tie around my goods, and then stroke until I finish. These are the best orgasms I have – sometimes far better than sex.
- age 26, Virginia
When it's cold outside and I'm in a warm sleeping bag.
- age 16, Arizona
I like it when the weather is hot and I've been working hard. There's something about hot weather and hard work that gets my hormones pumping. I also enjoy the nighttime, especially in a secluded area outside where I can masturbate privately in the warm night air. Then again, when I go swimming, I tend to get really aroused. I guess for me, it's anytime, anywhere, anyhow!
- age 31, Maine
I like to stand up. A long time ago, I started doing it in places other than my bed, where I couldn't always lie down. So I got used to standing up, and now it is harder to climax lying down. I also like to do it anywhere out of the ordinary. Once I was in the sound booth at school and they were having a play practice, so I just stood up there alone and masturbated as I watched the girls I liked. It was great, because the risk of being caught was quite high.
- age 15, Missouri
It has to be completely dark and quiet for me to have a bedroom session. Sometimes, sitting on the dryer can also make for a good masturbating session.
- age 21, Kansas (female)
I found that if you masturbate in a flotation tank, the darkness and the feeling of floating make for an explosive orgasm. I ejaculated all over the tank door! I'm lucky because I get into flotation tanks free – my mother owns a health spa, and I can just slip into one whenever I want. I suppose a one-hour session would do for any readers – and, it's not too expensive.
- age 13, United Kingdom
What makes a masturbation session really special for me is novelty – something new to me such as the location, technique, fantasy, or whatever. These new situations always seem to produce the most exciting and rewarding experiences and the most vivid orgasms.
- age 49, New Jersey
I normally masturbate in a secure, private room by myself. Lately, though, I have found it very exciting to do it in a somewhat public area. I try to do erotic things first to get me going, and then it makes for a much better orgasm.
- age 20, Maine (female)
Atmosphere and mood are what it's all about. The atmosphere helps put you in the mood, so that's especially important. I have noticed that when I masturbate in public, I get in this really kinky, erotic mood. These always provide the very best masturbation sessions. For instance, I'll masturbate in the bathroom stall at a store. This gets me very excited.
- age 16, Oregon
1. 50 mg of Viagra. 2. An empty house (my wife gets bent out of shape when I masturbate, even though she doesn't want sex anymore). 3. Enough time so that I don't have to hurry to ejaculation. 4. A good, fast pumping session after an hour or more, and a good, hard ejaculation.
- age 71, Arkansas
As long as air is present, I'm in the mood to masturbate.
- age 15, Pennsylvania
I love to get naked and put on my wife's garter belt and some stockings – and then just lie back and enjoy!
- age 32, Indiana
Wearing silk is one of my favorite conditions. The door needs to be locked. Lying on a furry bed is also nice. Having your eyes closed and being propped against the wall upside down is good as well.
- age 15, Japan
The men's room at work is perfectly quiet and empty at 4 PM. The stall closest to the urinals is a great place to explore myself and relieve the tensions of the workday. If someone comes in, I slow down but don't stop; the risk of discovery increases the excitement. One warning: When you're ready to climax, slow down and ejaculate into your hand or a wad of tissue. You don't want to be wiping the stall door or the floor and have the boss come in on you to take a leak.
- age 38, Pennsylvania
Hot tub, warm night, solitude.
- age 32, Oklahoma
I like to thrust my penis into my mattress, so my favorite time is when winter comes and the flannel sheets are on the bed! I like a soft, fluffy surface, not at all hard or rough. I also like privacy, although I might make a few exceptions. I don't care about anything else – just bring on the mattress, baby!
- age 16, California