That some people still feel there's something wrong, dumb, silly, immature, or sinful about masturbation. My parents think it's immature, my church thinks it's a sin, my friends think I'm a loser. And my mom and dad do it, my priest does it, and I'm sure all my friends do it. You figure it out.
- age 17, California
This Week's Wackiest Response:
I hate unzipping my pants. Whenever I touch the zipper, my hand turns to ice and falls off. So far I've had to get 13 hand replacements. And I've lost well over 100 girlfriends when they tried to touch it as well.
- age 33, Florida
The least desirable thing is the fact that you can't get an erection again for a while after you ejaculate. I hate that! So often when I masturbate, I try to take it really slow, to prolong it as much as possible — because I know that when I ejaculate, I will have wait at least a few hours before I can have another orgasm. I wish I could get an erection and start stroking again immediately after each orgasm. That would be awesome!
- age 21, Illinois
One word for you: friction. Either when you masturbate for long periods of time or when you're just trying to end it too quickly, it just starts to get painful.
- age 18, Australia
The possibility of developing narcissism. Relationships with other humans is important. The sensation of masturbation is fun and satisfying (as is blowing your nose or scratching your ear) — but physical and emotional relationships with people are the "big bang" of life. It's been said: "As you go through life, whatever be your goal, keep your eye on the donut and not on the hole."
- age 68, Virginia
The feeling of self-pity afterwards when you are cleaning up your mess and you realize you really need a woman.
- age 16, United Kingdom
I'm in a long-distance relationship, and we aren't together often. I used to feel empty after masturbating alone. I thought it was a poor substitute for real sex. All that has changed, now, though. I still think the loneliness you sometimes feel is the least desirable aspect of masturbation; I much prefer to have my partner "with me" on the phone while I masturbate — it transforms the act into something altogether different.
- age 39, New York (female)
The fear of getting caught! Since discovering how much fun masturbating is at age 12, I have been doing it two times a day or more. I was caught once while masturbating lying on my bed looking at a picture of Nick Carter in Tiger Beat, with a corn cob in my butt. I thought no one was home, and in walks my dad. That was a horrible experience, and we have never spoken about it.
- age 16, Vermont
Sometimes I think the stroking is the least desirable aspect. For me, the climax is the most enjoyable part, so the stroking is just the means to the end.
- age 39, California
The after feeling is by far the worst thing associated with masturbation. Sometimes you try to resist masturbating, but then you give up and go for it — and then after ejaculating, you feel angry with yourself and wish you hadn't done it in the first place.
- age 17, Canada
At my age, the least desirable aspect is that sometimes when I have recently masturbated, I am unable to achieve an orgasm during intercourse with my wife.
- age 61, Texas
Getting semen in your pubic hair. It's kind hard to get it out without washing it out.
- age 15, Maine
Having to do it. I know it sounds weird, but sometimes it's not appropriate to masturbate (like when I'm staying around someone else's house for a few weeks). However, after a couple of days I get so horny I *have* to do it before I can focus my mind on anything else. Often in such situations it is rushed, and a lot of the pleasure masturbation offers is lost. I much prefer to be able to take my time and get the most enjoyment out of it, when *I* want to.
- age 18, United Kingdom
The only thing not desirable about masturbation is that it isn't accepted as a normal activity by the masses. People still feel as if they have to hide it from the world — as if it were a deviant behavior.
- age 67, Texas
I'm trying to think (hard), but nothing's coming to mind. Yes, I even like the part where I go soft and the remainder drips out onto my bed.
- age 17, Massachusetts
I go for long periods between meeting and dating women I really like and have a great sex life with. Between these relationships, I masturbate a lot. Advances in available technology have made the masturbation sessions longer and more intense. It started with a magazine or two a month, and eventually I was buying several per week. Then I started renting and buying videos. Now I masturbate online. It takes me longer to get an erection, and I masturbate for hours — yesterday I did it for 8! I worry that I am becoming addicted to it and will be unable to respond to normal sexual activity with my next partner.
- age 38, Rhode Island
The only thing I find really undesirable about masturbation is porn. I'm not denying that I love porn, and I'm very open about that. Most of my friends know, and my boyfriend knows — I've even watched one with him. But when I masturbate with porn, afterward I feel so guilty, and that just disgusts me. But what's fun is to look at some pictures or a movie, and *then* I masturbate, while I still have the pictures in my head — then I have no guilt afterward.
- age 16, Canada (female)
Wet underwear and Dockers!
- age 44, Massachusetts
There can be a lot of disgusting things about masturbation. One thing I hate is the ejaculation part. Athough it is kind of gratifying to have something to show for after masturbating, it's just weird — very gooey and smelly, and it can get on your clothes and people can notice. And I also hate the guilt. Like, this one time after I masturbated I talked to my mom on the phone, and afterward I felt really bad.
- age 13, Illinois
I don't think there's anything at all undesirable about masturbation. I've been doing it for 45 years, and if anything it gets better. My penis still gets rock hard, and I ejaculate a huge amount of semen. I often have as many as 9 or 10 contractions (spurts) per orgasm. I've also learned many interesting, new techniques from JackinWorld. I masturbate less often than I once did, but that's just the old sex drive gradually slowing down. It's still there, though, and I am very glad to say, producing the same earth-shaking results.
- age 58, California
It makes you really sweaty.
- age 17, United Kingdom
Having to wait a bit to masturbate again!
- age 14, California
The stigma surrounding it — someone who masturbates is automatically pigeonholed as someone who can't get a girlfriend, can't talk to girls, sits on their computer all day, can't get it up, la la la. The list goes on.
- age 18, Australia
Having to put Winky away when I'm done. My hand always feels lonely without him!
- age 60, Michigan
The worst part is probably worrying about how to catch the semen. This is a problem if I'm somewhere where I don't want it to go all over. That's why it's so liberating to be able to masturbate in a place where it doesn't matter where it lands — I can enjoy an orgasm to the fullest. But, this small concern is no match for the benefits!
- age 16, Florida
There are two main things: First, the feeling of being dirty. Not dirty as in guilty, but dirty as in sticky between the legs! I make sure that if I masturbate at night, I have time for a long shower in the morning to get extra clean. Second, lubrication. If I'm not lubricated enough, I may as well be knitting something! There's no point, and it's boring. Oh, and it's uncomfortable. Use lube!
- age 19, Australia (female)
The tremendous guilt afterward. Often I have an intense buildup to climax, and I think, "I'm going to repeat this all night long." But immediately accompanying my orgasm comes persistent pains of guilt, especially if I engaged in homosexual fantasies. I often use homosexual porn, and then I feel *really* terrible when I finish. But somehow, I always convince myself to do it at least once a day.
- age 16, California
That it can be so antisocial.
- age 20, New Zealand
Having to put my boxers and pants back on.
- age 27, Texas
The thing I don't like is the lack of somebody to experience it with. When you masturbate you are all alone and the only one who feels the pleasure. When I get a girlfriend, I hope I can share masturbation with her — that would make it so much better.
- age 14, Florida
Your best friend setting off those little pop-snap fireworks things right outside your bathroom door just as you're about to finish.
- age 25, New Jersey
The worst part of masturbation is drinking my own semen. I know, it's completely avoidable, but I just get off on the idea of ejaculating into my mouth. Before and after, I get a good smile on my face and a tingle in my penis when I think about it — but *while* I'm doing it, my mind is thinking, "Oh god — what am I doing?"
- age 16, Ontario, Canada
It makes my right arm tired!
- age 62, Australia.
One word: Obsession.
- age 16, Mississippi
The funky smell that comes from my scrotum afterward. I find it doesn't help to wash immediately, but if you wait for about 30 minutes and then wash, it goes away. This takes some of the pleasure out of masturbating in the shower.
- age 44, Canada
When you're female, masturbation can, at times, become very uncomfortable. I do not masturbate by inserting my fingers (or any other objects) into my vagina, but by stimulating my clitoris. Sometimes, if I am particularly stressed or tired, it can take quite a while to orgasm. This is good because the pleasure is extended, but it also has disadvantages. My clitoris can sometimes become sore from so much rubbing, and my wrist begins hurting from such an unusual position. Sometimes, when I use the showerhead, my whole vaginal area becomes sore because of the immense pressure. All of these aspects in mind, masturbation feels much too good to stop — I shall simply ignore them.
- age 16, Tennessee (female)
I usually dread the disappointment of an orgasm that doesn't generate a lot of semen, or one that doesn't get the distance I want. I usually cannot "shoot" as far as I think I ought to be able to. Sometimes it's disappointing to want to make a session last a long time, but then I get carried away and orgasm quicker than intended. I hate that.
- age 20, Idaho
The space between sessions. For me at least, it takes a good 4 or 5 hours before I'm ready to go again. For women that's not such an issue, but for men, it's one of the downfalls.
- age 16, Iowa
Ejaculation. Everything would be so much simpler if it weren't for this. There wouldn't be any cleanup — just think about that. A guy could masturbate anywhere, because he wouldn't necessarily have to expose himself in order to orgasm.
- age 21, Wisconsin
Trying to explain where all the carrots and cucumbers go!
- age 18, Australia (female)
What bothers me is the criticism that I'm "wasting" something when I masturbate — my sperm or my energy or my time. I make millions of sperm for every egg in this overpopulated world. I have to release semen anyway, and when there is no willing woman around (which is typical), masturbating lets me do this enjoyably without having to recruit an unwilling woman into having sex or waiting for a "wet dream" that never arrives. And as long as I manage my time well, it should be up to me.
- age 44, New Mexico