HAVE YOU EVER MASTURBATED BECAUSE YOU FELT ANGRY, DEPRESSED, OR SOME OTHER NEGATIVE FEELING?

We all know that masturbation can be a great relief to stress, but it is also a palliative to other raw emotions: anger, depression and loneliness. On the occasions, and they have been numerous, when I have masturbated under these conditions, the experience did in fact bring some relief to the raw emotions, and did induce a calm. The physio-emotional satisfaction that one has in the genitals can in fact bring a general calm.
- age 45, Tennessee

I've often masturbated when experiencing negative feelings, usually with the intention of climaxing as quickly as possible. In such circumstances, I've found the process of masturbating to be not particularly enjoyable and the orgasm is weak. But afterward, I've usually felt somewhat more positive, relaxed or even just sleepy. In general, masturbation has helped. The exceptions are those rare occasions when I feel so down that I can get aroused but cannot climax. In these cases, I've felt pretty wretched.
- age 37, United Kingdom

I masturbated when I was angry one time. I thought that it would relieve the stress. My girlfriend and I had just gotten in a fight and I was depressed, so I went home and masturbated. The motions and feelings relieved me greatly. My orgasm was awesome. It was like I just let go of all my problems then. Afterward, my girlfriend and I got back together. So it seems that masturbating helped me through.
- age 15, New York

My partner and I were together for nine years, but were recently separated due to circumstances beyond our control. I instantly started to feel lonely and bored. So as a comfort, I began to masturbate *a lot.* Now, the pleasure is gone and it seems more routine than special. So I have cut back on my sessions and things seem to be improving. Masturbation should be a pleasure — not a cover-up for real issues.
- age 26, Illinois

I am overweight and I kept eating. So I went to see a doctor and he told me if I feel hungry, I should masturbate instead. A few days later, I was feeling peckish, so I masturbated and the feeling went away. While I was masturbating, I was upset because I kept thinking of food and it took 20 minutes to ejaculate.
- age 16, United Kingdom

I've masturbated before when I was angry or sad. It helped calm me down. Plus, it feels so good; is there any real need to have a reason?
- age 25, Canada (female)

I masturbate sometimes when I have negative feelings such as sadness, stress and anger. For the time that I do it, it takes those feelings away and helps me focus on pleasure.
- age 15, Oregon

At one time in my life, I thought if another bad thing happened, I'd just give up, and then another terrible thing happened. So I lay down and decided to just give up. I realized that the only friend I had left in the world was there between my legs and I reached down to reassure myself. He was very interested in the attention he was getting and soon I was feeling better and better, and then great, and then — WOW! I got up, got dressed and took care of my life, and have never been that low again. Masturbation simply gave me a new start and I shall always be thankful for it. And, I shall stay in good practice so if I ever need it again, it will be up and ready.
- age 68, Texas

I wish! Having had plenty of experience with clinical depression, I'm sad to say that the more depressed I get, the less interested I am in sex. It's even sadder that most antidepressants have side effects like disinterest in sex or difficulty reaching orgasm. Those of you with normal serotonin levels need to count your blessings!
- age 21, Tennessee (female)

The night my father passed away was very depressing. I came home from the hospital, tried to sleep, and every memory and feeling came to me. When I still couldn't sleep, I masturbated and finally went to sleep afterward. It did not make the situation better, but I did go to sleep.
- age 52, California

One time, I got an F on my history test, lost my report due that day, and at home my mom yelled at me for hours because of what had just happened. I was so angry that I felt like destroying something completely. But then, I began to masturbate because I had heard that it actually relieves stress (I had never masturbated while I was angry). After I ejaculated, I felt so much better — it was as if nothing that day had ever happened. I felt calmer. Now I do it every time I get angry and it has helped me every time.
- age 13, Texas

Usually when I feel bad, masturbating makes me feel worse.
- age 15, California

I have often masturbated because I was angry with someone or something. And as always after a nice session of masturbation, I feel *much* better and can feel the anger floating away.
- age 23, Colorado

When I'm sad or depressed, not even pornographic movies can turn me on, so masturbation never crosses my mind. It's the same when I'm angry. My mind gets fired up with so much vengeful thought, that again, sex goes to the bottom of my thoughts list. Alas, the negative feelings I can have in which I feel most able to masturbate are pain and frustration. When I had my wisdom teeth pulled, I had to endure four hours of post-Novocain pain without painkillers. After one session, the pain lessened by at least half, and when the Vicotin arrived, I questioned whether I should take a dose (I didn't). In terms of frustration, I guess the [brain] chemicals released during orgasm calm me down. Lastly, I find masturbation to help most in times of envy or jealousy (which I consider negative feelings), especially when I realize that I cannot physically be with the person of my dreams.
- age 20, New York

This past week I had an exam that I started to worry about greatly a couple of hours before exam time. So before the exam, I went back to my dorm to finish up some last minute studying. Well, the stress hit me and since my roommate was gone, off I went — three times, to be exact. Initially, it made me tired; I didn't even want to get up for my exam. But as the exam came, I was slightly calmer than before. Needless to say, I *did* "rub one out" one more time before my exam on another day.
- age 21, Pennsylvania

This happened last year. When I found out that the girl I liked didn't like me, I began to cry. Then five minutes later, I just started stroking my penis for no reason and thought about her. After a while, I was erect and I got what was probably one of my best orgasms ever. I felt better, and then began being friends with her.
- age 13, California

I have often masturbated because I felt angry, depressed, upset and frustrated. Masturbating made me feel much better and relieved the tension. There were many circumstances, but the one I recall best was the time we where in contract negotiations. You could cut the air with a knife it was so tense. So I slipped out of the meeting for a masturbation break — at least, I continued the negotiations session more relaxed.
- age 45, Canada

I have often found masturbation to be a great "pain reliever." On one occasion, my brother passed away from a painful illness. Shortly after he passed, I became amazingly horny with a bulging erection. I immediately had to seek privacy in a bathroom and had one of the most intense orgasms I have ever experienced in my life. I guess I had so many emotions (sadness, relief that my brother no longer suffered, etc.) churning inside me that my body needed an immediate physical release.
- age 33, Florida

I've never masturbated because of anger or depression, but I would class boredom as a negative feeling. I have been so bored that I have masturbated about four times a day, just to pass the time. One example of this was when there was a power cut in my building and rain was pouring down, so I didn't want to go out. I phoned a few friends, ate all day, read a book, and masturbated about every other hour — what better way to kill time!
- age 22, United Kingdom

If I go a few days without masturbating, I notice that I feel much more tense and easily stressed, and I overreact to petty things. I find that after masturbating, I feel more relaxed and easy-going. I don't know if there's a direct physical correlation between masturbation frequency and negative feeling, but I can say that after I have a good orgasm, the negative feelings aren't so intense.
- age 28, Virginia

None of these negative conditions would inspire me to masturbate. For me, masturbation is a celebration of physical and spiritual joy. Consequently, I associate it only with positive conditions as I celebrate my Native American heritage, my connection to the Great Spirit, and all of the many blessings we receive in life. When confronted by negative energy, I prefer to exercise strenuously, meditate, or write in my Journal until I am again in a positive mood. When that happens, then I am inclined to masturbate to celebrate my return to my usual outlook on life.
- age 62, Michigan

When I play video games I can get really wound up, especially if I'm not doing so well. The energy sometimes builds around my lower abdominals and groin area and before long all I can think about is masturbating to release the anxiety. Afterward, I am completely calm and if I start playing the video game again, I actually start playing better.
- age 27, California

I had a really bad cold last week. I was quite bored and sick of just lying in bed watching TV; so I got on the Internet and after about five minutes of reading this web site, I got a little turned on and just started... well, you know. The end result wasn't the best I have ever had, but it made me feel a lot better — so good that I had to do it again about two hours later.
- age 18, Florida

Anger or depression simply detracts from my ability to do anything better and I don't like anything to detract from the pleasure of masturbation. Masturbation wouldn't help me help me escape a bad mood; it would just become associated with it and I wouldn't want that to happen.
- age 57, Ohio

I've always been large, overweight, and I suffered at school because of my size and inability to compete at sports. I felt bad about my body and even hated it until I discovered masturbation and orgasm. In this, my body could do something for me that was really great. When the world was getting at me and kids were calling me names, I learned to shut them out and just take some time to myself, get in touch with my body and masturbate. I still do this and now see the beauty of my body, not the ugliness I used to hate.
- age 41, Wales, United Kingdom (female)

About three years ago, when I was in the ninth grade, I went through a time of total depression and I felt that no one really cared about me. I changed my outfit totally from preppy to punk and then back again. Anyway, every night when I was winding down for the day just before I got in the shower, I would masturbate. I did this every night for a long time because it made me feel good and that was the only part of my day that I did feel good. Masturbation took my mind off of killing myself and similar thoughts. But now I am glad this part of my life has moved on and I masturbate all the time, no matter how I am feeling.
- age 17, California

I've masturbated as a way to get over my ex-girlfriend and again to get over another girl when I was just really angry and depressed. Both masturbation sessions were intense. I was able to relieve much stress and tension, and allow my emotions of missing these girls to subside and lessen. It was just my way of letting go. My sessions were rougher and more vocal than normal — I guess they were animalistic in a sense. Afterward, I did feel much better and also very exhausted, but masturbation did help me get through this. It's almost therapeutic in some ways.
- age 23, New Jersey

I have a girlfriend right now and things are okay. Things used to be amazing; we would have fun, make out, and it was great. Recently, she has stopped wanting to make out and touch me or to be touched. She has always disliked me masturbating, so now it seems that every time I do it, it is just to spite her. It doesn't even feel good now; it just makes things worse.
- age 18, Illinois

My wife makes *everything* more important than sex. She's more concerned about housework, exercise, computer games — even stupid rerun *television shows* — than having sex. It's so hopeless that I've given up on begging. So, I just masturbate. At least I can be a willing partner for *myself*.
- age 41, Arizona

What is masturbation more perfect for than enjoyment — especially in situations that are not particularly enjoyable? During my freshman year at college, I went through a period of prolonged depression — or at least sadness — when self-pleasure was a wonderful respite from the blues. For the first time, I was away from home in a significantly different environment, and it was a long, cold winter followed by a slow spring. To top it all off, my roommate for that year had left school before Thanksgiving, so I was alone in a room for two. You bet I masturbated --both for the lack of anything else to do and because I was down. It got me through a long, cold period in my life.
- age 26, Florida (female)

When my dad came out to visit me and meet all of my friends at college, we had an hour-long car ride to the place we were having dinner that night with my friends. Along the way, he accused me of being gay. This sent me flying off the hook because I didn't feel it was his place to presume to know me so well (my parents have been divorced for years, and I lived with my mom), let alone the fact that he was wrong. When I got back to my dorm that night, my roommate was gone, so I must have masturbated three times in a row, partly to relieve the stress of my anger, but partly to prove him wrong in his assumption. Despite my tired arm, by the end of it all I felt a hundred times better, and a lot less angry.
- age 19, Colorado

When I'm angry or depressed, I tend not to masturbate, as I prefer to focus on solving whatever the problem is. However, if I'm having a period of sloppy, unmotivated thinking *and* happen to feel vaguely aroused (or "arousable"), I find that masturbation is a great way to clear my head. I assume this is because it's such a primal urge, like hunger, that it sweeps everything else away. When I'm in that mood, masturbation is great but partnered sex wouldn't work at all, because then I really don't feel like attending to someone else's needs and don't feel receptive to the attentions of others. ("Not now, okay?") I'm sure we've all been there!
- age 46, United Kingdom

My mom and dad divorced when I was seven. And then seven crazy years later, they decided to get back together. They stayed together for a few months, but soon split up yet again. Those few months were some of the best times of my life, and when my mom left again, I was incredibly depressed. Orgasms were the only thing that felt good enough to take my mind of off the pain. I went from masturbating once a day to three times a day.
- age 14, South Carolina

As a teenager in the 70s and 80s, I observed that after an orgasm, I usually felt extremely relaxed and contented — and frequently, rather tired so that if circumstances permitted, I would doze off for a bit. I researched this at the library, and read medical information about serotonin release in the brain immediately after orgasm. From that time on, I saw masturbation as both a sexual release, and when needed, a way to "blow off steam" and relieve tension. A typical teenager, I experienced extreme mood swings on an almost hourly basis. As a result, I became a "Masturbation Artist," and practiced my art as often as I could. I remember on several occasions mentioning this observation to my male friends and each time they reported back that I was a genius for figuring this out — they, too, started to use masturbation as an outlet to relieve tension (frequently). In fact, among my circle of friends, it was sometimes a whispered suggestion whenever anyone started behaving like a "pain."
- age 34, Canada

I used to get highly stressed out before exams — so much so that I couldn't sleep and felt physically sick if I ate anything. It was silly, I know, as I always did well in exams, but then, anxiety isn't rational is it? One of the few things that seemed to ease things when it got really bad was to masturbate and blow off some nervous energy. When it got bad, I would be at myself several times a day, and it was one of these times that my mother found me easing myself. Knowing how wound up I was over the examinations, she just talked to me and told me that if it helped me through, then it was fine. A few months later, just before the next set of papers were to be sat, she left me a wrapped present in my room. I still have the card she left with it; it says, "Make the bad times bearable and the good times great," and the box contained an Hitachi Magic Wand. Who said mums don't understand?
- age 27, United Kingdom (female)

I've often masturbated when depressed. After waiting for a break from the people and circumstances that I can't do anything about and a chance to be alone, it gives me a shot of adrenalin to feel my penis get erect in my hand. The great feelings from rubbing my erection tell me I'm basically all right; the warm thrill of ejaculating feels like a reward for being me, and my semen is a mark I leave in the world to say I exist, even if it just goes into a sock or my hand. Even more so, if I feel like I've been unfairly turned down or cheated, I find that I really need to masturbate and it helps me level my feelings — like when my parents wouldn't let me go out for football. (They were right, by the way — I was too small and I would have gotten hurt, but at the time, I was really angry.) Other times when it has helped: a girl would turn me down or make remarks that hurt; or my wife or kids vent their feelings on me.
- age 46, Minnesota

There have been times, though not for a long while, when I have felt depressed and angry with the feeling of wanting to cause pain to my body — kind of like sexually abusing myself, I guess. However, the amazing feeling of masturbation has always managed to erase any self-hateful thoughts and cheer me up. It tends to qualm a nasty hangover as well!
- age 25, Australia

I have never felt the need to masturbate when I'm angry or depressed. Usually when I'm in those moods, I'm in no mood to masturbate. I have always thought of masturbation as something I do to relax, when I'm feeling good already. It's like that extra bit of whipped cream on a sundae, or a cherry. It just adds to the good day!
- age 17, Minnesota

As a developing teenager, I used self-pleasuring as a quick release when I was angry. I would masturbate in private and generally found that the problem that had made me angry went away with the release of my semen. This actually became a ritual and I would use any problem or anger to masturbate. But then, what teenager really needs a real reason to masturbate? It was always so much fun. Thanks for the opportunity to relive the memories.
- age 63, Georgia

I have masturbated because I was upset. I was at my friend's house and I was very depressed at the time. He knew this and told me that to cheer himself up he masturbates. I said I would try it. He then explained to me that he was down in the dumps as well, so we both cheered ourselves up and we have been cheerful together ever since.
- age 15, Ohio

I've definitely masturbated to counteract feelings like sadness and worthlessness. To be honest, sometimes all I succeeded in doing was laying guilt or more worthlessness on top, because I hadn't yet realized that I was giving myself the good feelings as a gift and relief to myself. (I secretly thought I was a loser.) One of the turning points for me was realizing from JackinWorld, starting maybe five years ago, how much company I have in masturbation, and picking up from other guys (and gals) a healthier attitude toward that terrific soother and emotional outlet — and, toward myself. For me, masturbation has become a builder of self-acceptance instead of something that tears it down.
- age 60, Massachusetts

My parents had separated for a while (they are back together now) and I stayed with my dad, but I was mad, totally depressed, and felt guilty because my mom wanted me to come stay with her. I also felt like maybe it was my fault so I was totally screwed up, and I started masturbating a lot more than usual (I was 16 at the time) — sometimes four or five times a day. Sometimes it helped relieve the tension I felt, but at other times, it also seemed to help the depression. I went to a shrink and he said not to worry about how often I masturbated, but to focus on the facts of "their" separation. I soon realized that it had nothing to do with me; it was their business. Staying with my dad was my decision and probably a good one, and any guilt was just a trip my mom was laying on me because she felt bad about the separation, too. As I went through that realization part, I began to masturbate less and less; although then, two or three times a day was pretty much my average and now that I'm nearly 20, twice a day is still what I need.
- age 19, California

If anyone answers "No" to this one, I will be really surprised! I can't even pick out one time in particular when I have masturbated while having some kind of negative feeling, because there are too many. Getting an erection while feeling angry, depressed, or whatever, may be more difficult, but the pleasure of playing with myself and experiencing those erotic feelings begins to grow (along with my penis) and can, if only for the short term, take my mind off of whatever has me feeling down. When finally fully hard, the great feeling of my penis in my hand, with my other hand pleasuring other parts of my body (nipples, chest, testicles, anus, etc.), puts me in that special world where the only thing that matters is my own pleasure. It's nice to know that when things aren't going all that smoothly my three friends are always there to perk me up — my two hands, and my best friend, my penis!
- age 47, Illinois

Whenever I have migraine headaches and have an urge to masturbate, I will. Once I do, I feel incredibly relieved, lightheaded, and sleepy, which is just what the doctor ordered.
- age 18, New York

I've always been afraid of leaning on masturbation as an emotional crutch; so ever since I was a teen, I've consciously avoided it. Masturbation should be a celebration, not something to be used as a feel-better drug. Besides, you have to learn to deal with your emotional lows in other ways. After all, it's not always possible to masturbate when you're feeling down.
- age 37, California

No, I've tried but I've never been able to. I'm always too tense. But it does definitely make you feel better if you're nervous. My band would always tell me to go masturbate before I record; they said I played and sang better. A tip to all you musicians — it really does work!
- age 16, Florida

I've had to think about this question. I do not think I have ever decided to masturbate when I was upset. It really doesn't seem like I could masturbate in such moods. I think it may take a certain kind of temperament for a person to get relief by masturbating when feeling angry — I do not mean to seem condescending or somehow superior to those that may — we are all just animals — but it seems like that would be a very basic or "primitive" response. It would also seem difficult to masturbate when depressed, though I could imagine it would bring some kind of temporary escape. I'm sure we've all masturbated just because we are extremely bored, which can be a depressing state!
- age 22, Texas

I once masturbated to help calm me down after my dog died. Sad and depressed, I ran to my room, downloaded some porn, and began to masturbate. It worked. I wasn't as sad — but can you imagine someone sitting masturbating and crying loudly at the same time? Not a pretty picture.
- age 16, North Carolina

A couple of years ago I started having bad migraines (which I guess you could call a "negative feeling"). My doctor suggested that I try masturbating whenever I feel a headache coming on and to avoid the painkillers and drugs except for extreme cases. I discovered that masturbating to orgasm has been a truly excellent way for alleviating my migraines and I wanted to share this tip with other JackinWorld readers who might not have such a wise and practical doctor as I have.
- age 25, United Kingdom