My apologies to our female readers this week — they were left out. Still, a few responded anyway.]
My penis is already pretty ideal for masturbation — uncircumcised, plenty big — a nice grip with plenty of movement. I'd just make it secrete natural lube or have its natural moisture last a little longer before drying out when I pull back my foreskin. I'd have it ejaculate further, and it would be nice if it could clean up after itself somehow (yeah, dream on). I might change it when I'm not masturbating, though — I'd make it cut to match all my friends' and because I like the look, but I'd have it not dry out and lose its sensitivity like a circumcised one...the best of both worlds. I'd also have conscious control over when I got an erection and when I didn't — no more embarrassing bulge.
- age 17, Kansas
I'd cover the whole thing in the same kind of sensitive skin that's on the head. Therefore, my entire penis would be like the head. It would also secrete its own lube (something like a girl's wetness) when it gets erect.
- age 14, Colorado
After all these years, I'm quite pleased with the way my penis performs during masturbation (and sex, for that matter). I wouldn't change it, because I know exactly what to do to get maximum pleasure out of it. As the old cliche goes, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."
- age 27, Texas
If I could change my penis I don't think I'd ever leave it the same. I think every time I masturbated I'd make it different, because then every orgasm would be unique. I would definitely make myself uncut to feel how that is. Also, I'd love to be small again (I'm eight inches and I miss being small).
- age 15, Ohio
My ideal penis for masturbating would be exactly like mine but just a little bigger around and just a little longer. I'm circumcised, 6.5" long, and 5 inches around, which is certainly adequate. (In all modesty, nearly perfect, really.) But I guess it's just human — or more specifically — malenature to want just a little more.
- age 34, Texas
I would love to change my penis size — but I would not want anything over 8 inches. That would be stupid. Anyway, my arm would get tired going that far up and down.
- age 15, Massachusetts
Yes, I would change my penis. First, I would make it bigger so I could use both hands while masturbating. I have often tried this, but I'm sure it would feel better if I could get both of my hands on it instead of a hand and a couple of fingers. Second, I would like to be uncut so I wouldn't have to use lubrication — it can get very messy.
- age 16, Florida
I would re-attach my foreskin, which had to be removed when I was 20...that way I could more readily and easily masturbate anywhere, anytime, just like I used to. Well still do — I just have to be more prepared now.
- age 33, California
I'm about average, about 5" long — I wouldn't change the size, but I'd probably decrease the sensitivity. The tip of my penis is really sensitive, and I usually orgasm within 2 or 3 minutes. I can't do any of those techniques with condoms or socks or baggies; it just hurts too much. Other than that, I'm happy!
- age 15, Canada
I would absolutely not change the size of my penis — especially just for masturbation. My penis is just about 7 and a half inches when erect, and I have no problem masturbating. For those who feel they must change it, I question their motives. I would venture to say that doing the deed feels the same with 9 inches or 4 inches. Leave well enough alone.
- age 17, Nebraska
I would like the skin on my penis to be less irritable so it doesn't get sore as easily. Then I could go for hours without worry of a sore penis afterward. I don't usually have problems, but sometimes I get sore spots if I masturbate too much. I like to grip really tight — for me that is the best sensation.
- age 19, Oregon
I'd give it a voice so it could tell me what felt good and what was going to cause soreness and pain. A talking penis! Yes, that's what I'd like.
- age 18, Texas
For me the ideal penis is long and wide in circumference. (Seven inches, but not longer, because it must become rock hard. I heard if it's too long that becomes difficult.) It is not circumcised. It produces lots of creamy "pre-cum." That way I could slide my hand(s) up and down the shaft and feel the foreskin moving easily. The ideal penis also has a little curvature towards the body and doesn't stick out at an angle of 90 degrees; it's just a little bit straighter up.
- age 21, Germany
Yes, I would change it to something like a dog's penis, because of the way they retract into the body. They also have something like an entire penis foreskin. The biggest reason I would like a dog-like penis is that they self-lubricate.
- age 17, Pennsylvania
My ideal penis would have handle bars, a cable hookup, and a cup holder — ha ha, just kidding! I wouldn't change it at all; I'm having too much fun with the way it is now.
- age 18, Minnesota
I guess I'd like a bigger, thicker penis with lots of veins in it. Why? Because I have an average-size, average-wide, non-veiny penis — duh! I would prefer a penis that bends upwards as well. Mine just sticks straight out.
- age 32, Pennsylvania
My ideal penis would be about ten inches long, very hairy, and able to be rubbed without ever getting sore!
- age 14, Alabama
I wouldn't want to change it. In society there seems to be some false belief that penile size enhances the sexual experience. While an extremely short penis might be a deterrent for sexual relations and may convey additional problems and implications, physiologically, an average-size penis will provide the same amount of pleasure as a smaller or larger one. Whether a person feels more or less pleasure is purely psychological. This is something those people who wish to have their penis enlarged should keep in mind. They're not going to get a bigger orgasm just because they have more surface to stroke on. Physiologically, it just doesn't work that way. Now, whether someone might receive greater psychological stimulation and gratification, and perhaps an enhanced orgasm, from having a larger penis to feel and/or look at is another question — one that should be discussed with a psychologist. Think about it.
- age 21, California
You know, I really can't think of anything I would change. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but when it comes to masturbation, I'm pretty happy. My penis fits my hand really well, and has been doing a great job for about 4 years now.
- age 16, Texas
Obviously, I don't have a penis — but if I could change my clitoris I would move it to the entrance of my vagina. This would not just be for masturbation but also for sex, as it would make it so much easier to climax.
- age 35, United Kingdom (female)
It would lube itself much more quickly!
- age 24, Canada
Well, if I could change it just once, it would be cool to try masturbating with an unimaginable penis size, like two feet long! But, if it were every time I masturbated, I would keep it the same size.
- age 19, Arizona
This is easy: uncircumcised, with a fair bit of foreskin. I think you uncut guys have it so lucky. The sensation of having the foreskin sliding over the head of the penis must be so unreal — especially if lots of "pre-cum" is present. Other than that, maybe a little more length and thickness.
- age 29, Australia
If I could have my ideal penis, I'd need bigger hands!
- age 17, Michigan
While I and my wife are content with the penis I have (a little over 5" long), when I masturbate it would be nice to have a longer penis so I could use bothof my hands to stroke it fully. Nothing feels better than a lubed, tight hand grip going up and the down the length of your shaft, and if the shaft were longer I think the sensation would be even more incredible. I can't fully wrap both hands around my penis; if I could, I'm sure the feeling would be wonderful.
- age 32, Tennessee
Of course, I don't have a penis, but I'd just completely make over my entire vulva. The labia would form a circular opening about three inches wide and have the same sexual response as the clitoris. Inside the hole, there'd be a stiff ridge taking the place of my clitoris, right at the entrance to my vagina. It, too, would have the same sexual feelings as a "real" clitoris. I wouldn't change my wetness or the vagina itself.
- age 15, Canada (female)
I'm happy with my penis the way it is. I'm semi-impotent (it gets longer and fatter but not any harder), so I've had a long journey accepting this important part of my body the way it is, the way God gave it to me. My penis gives me a great deal of pleasure. I'm capable of having sexual relations (with, um, somemodifications to the act), and my partners are satisfied with it. Many are even quite curious about it. Most men are absolutely fascinatedby it, to be quite honest. Some even are jealous, because I've never had an "unexpected" erection. I wouldn't change a thing. Really.
- age 32, California
I guess it would help if my penis was smaller, as difficult as that is to say. Mine is a hair less than 6 inches, and it seems it would help me orgasm faster if it was smaller, like 3 inches. That way my strokes wouldn't have to be as long. But if my penis was longer, like 8 inches, I could try to reach it to my mouth.
- age 15, New Jersey
I would like it to be a 7-and-a-half-incher — cut, with a large head, and pretty thick, too. Since this penis is for masturbating, I'd like for it to ooze "pre-cum" on demand to help with the lube. I hate artificial lubes. It would also be nice if it angled up like a banana.
- age 22, Texas
My ideal penis would be the size I see in the locker rooms. I would want it to be a bit more sensitive. But the important thing is that it would have to ejaculate lots of squirts of semen, and it wouldn't lose its erection after one orgasm. I would also make sure an erection didn't come up in the showers!
- age 14, Maryland
I would make it longer and thicker so I could get even more rough when I masturbate. I like it rough.
- age 16, New York
Although I don't have a penis, I'd like to take a stab at this one. See, though I likebeing a girl and all, sometimes I think it would be a lot easier to masturbate if I were a guy. For one thing, my fingers wouldn't get as cramped. For another, it seems like you can do a lot more experimenting, as it's easier to clean. If I could have a penis just for masturbation, I'd want a nice little one — that didn't clash with the curtains.
- age 17, Oregon (female)
I wouldn't change a thing about my penis! I love it the way it is. I've masturbated since I was 12 and haven't found a more perfect object. God the Creator certainly made a perfect object.
- age 29, Kentucky