I'm a masturbator – people can watch me have sex, or I'll watch people have sex, but in the end, I'm just going to masturbate. I've tried that sex thing a few times, actually. It's way overrated. Everyone yapping about vaginas would make you think angels would sing upon entry. What you're really in for is an hour or so of boring pelvic thrusts or somebody bouncing up and down on your unhappy penis (regardless of who's watching, it is monotonous for you and your penis). Don't get me wrong; breasts are cool and an occasional penis is fun. But I'm in a monogamous relationship with my right hand, and swinging is not on our agenda.
- age 16, Florida
This Week's Wackiest Response:
I spy on my penis. He gets angry and tries to shoot me.
- age 19, United Kingdom
Voyeur! A few years ago, I was so turned on when one of my neighbors kept stroking himself with the curtains pulled back. He knew I was watching and would come to the window to show me as he slowly stroked himself. I would always slow down when I walked by the window, hoping that he would be there. Often he was!
- age 33, New Hampshire
I'm a big exhibitionist. I do look after myself, have quite a good body, and I'm proud of what's south of the border. I have no problem with nudity and love being naked with a girl. I'm not shy or one to cover up. I find it erotic while actually being open and honest. I went to a nudist beach once. It was fantastic. I had an erection most of the time, which was hard...um, difficult to hide!
- age 24, United Kingdom
When I am horny, I am an exhibitionist, because I like to show off my penis to all of my friends. However, to become horny, I like to watch other guys first.
- age 14, Hawaii
I would say that I am both. I would like females to see me nude and to watch me masturbate. I know that both of my wife's sisters have seen me nude before; it's a great turn-on. I also like to see females nude or partially nude and would love to watch them masturbate in front of me, live and in person.
- age 43, Illinois
I like to be watched while I shower at the gym. I usually take an extra-long time to wash my privates, hoping that someone is watching me.
- age 19, Illinois
I guess I am a little of both. Unlike most of the guys at school, I don't mind being seen naked in the locker room. I refuse to go all day after morning PE with no shower. I also like to look at the few who do shower, and imagine them in my fantasies. I figure it like this: what I've got, I've got, and nothing can change it – so why not show it off?
- age 13, Florida
I am especially an exhibitionist. I will always be the one to raise the bar if I am watching a porn video with a friend. I start by rubbing myself through my pants, and then if he responds, I ask if I could just whip it out. They eventually do likewise when they get used to seeing me do it and that there is no harm in it. Or, I tell them it feels awkward with just me doing it by myself, so why don't they join in?
- age 18, Kansas
I think I'm more voyeuristic because I enjoy porn and watching any type of sexual activity, but I think that applies to most guys, since that usually arouses us. I fantasize about exhibitionistic sexual acts, but my inhibitions prevent me from ever acting them out. Only on a one-on-one basis with a masturbation bud have I ever been able to put on a show. What about watching myself in a mirror? Am I being a voyeur or an exhibitionist?
- age 58, Ohio
I have often found myself half-naked and answering the door to the postman – or, letting the window cleaner see and hear me masturbate when I pretend I don't know he is there. I like to think that I m arousing these people one way or another.
- age 19, United Kingdom
I can be both, but the most fun I have is showing myself. My foreskin is pierced and often I have a lock through both sides; it is quite a conversation piece. Also, I won't pass up a chance for a good look at someone else.
- age 53, California
I am quite the exhibitionist. One of my biggest fantasies was to have my best friend (male) watch me masturbate and have him masturbate to it. I actually got to live this one out a couple of months ago via my webcam. It was a wonderful turn-on. Sometimes I still think of it when I masturbate. I also enjoy making excessive noise while having sex and I know someone may be listening. However, I am a voyeur as well. I like to watch guys masturbate or even just think of watching a guy masturbate while I'm masturbating. I'm absolutely fascinated by penises.
- age 21, Iowa (female)
I suppose I am really more of a voyeur, since I enjoy looking at nude and erotic photos and videos when I masturbate (and even when I don't), but I've never felt compelled to show off my body to others (not that they'd want to see it) or perform sexually in front of others. In sexual fantasies I imagine men masturbating and having sex freely in front of others, so I find the idea of exhibitionism exciting, but it's not something I've tended to do in real-life situations.
- age 47, Tennessee
I am more of an exhibitionist. I like to walk through the locker room and see how many guys will stop and take a peek at my penis. I like having others look at me. I like watching guys turn their heads and try to take a quick look.
- age 20, California
I usually wear as little clothing as I can get away with and not get cold. In the right circumstances, I'll take everything off, but I have never knowingly had anyone watch me while I was engaged in any kind of sexual activity. There is no question, however, that I love to look at others undressed and doing practically anything. I think that puts me more in the voyeur category.
- age 51, New Jersey
I think that I, along with a lot of people who will respond to this, am both. I love to watch my boyfriend masturbate. As much as I enjoy intercourse, I like watching and being watched (masturbating and mutual masturbation). I fantasize about my boyfriend watching me with me being unaware (supposedly) and vice versa. I would "exhibit" for a small group of people or maybe some friends. It would be even nicer to be with a couple of people (of any gender pairing) who would have sex or masturbate while I had sex with my boyfriend. Or, it could be just me masturbating by myself while we watched each other. You know, a combination of voyeurism and exhibitionism.
- age 19, Illinois (female)
I'm definitely more of an exhibitionist. Many of my best fantasies center around being examined or watched, and I've had sex in public places before because I enjoy the risk of being seen. When I'm with a partner, I like to masturbate for him and make sure that he has a "good view" of everything. I think some of this goes back to my days as a teenager when I had a neighbor who would masturbate in the window while watching me sometimes – I was more turned on by the fact that *he* was turned on looking at me than I was by the view I had of him touching himself.
- age 30, Ontario, Canada (female)
I am more of a voyeur who likes to join in after a while. Many times during a sleepover, my friend would wait for me to go to sleep so he could masturbate. My room is never dark due to a street light just outside, so I could see his penis very well. I would normally lie there for about 5 minutes watching him stroke. Then I'd say, ''Having fun?'' Normally it would end up with both of us masturbating.
- age 19, Wales, United Kingdom
I definitely belong to the former category [voyeur] more than to the latter [exhibitionist]. I enjoy looking at photos of men and women pleasuring themselves, either alone or together, in mixed pairs or with the same gender. Moreover, I enjoy viewing amateur photos by two good friends, both close to my age. It is interesting to compare the difference in their genital sizes and overall appearances, since one is circumcised and the other is not. And, I would be willing to share some photos of my own masturbation techniques with those friends if I had access to a digital camera. I would not, however, post them on the Internet or at any amateur sites. As I've said before, "I don't do horror pictures."
- age 63, Michigan
I'm definitely a voyeur – where I come from, nobody is overtly interested in being an "exhibitionist" (including me). And, in a town of about 3,000 people year-round, word can travel quite fast, so "being exhibited would be prohibited."
- age 15, Alaska
I am definitely a voyeur, which goes back to about the age of 12 when I stumbled on my parents in the lounge room with my father, clothes down to his knees and up to his chest, getting oral sex from my mother. I watched for perhaps only 10 or 15 seconds until I was noticed, and the frantic activity that followed to try and cover up seems quite funny as I look back on it. This set my curiosity racing, and from then on, whenever I would wake in the middle of the night I would go "snooping," which paid dividends from time to time and ended in the classic scene of my father just mounting my mother, with me peeking around the doorframe at the act, which I witnessed in frozen awe. I have never forgotten it, and in fact, it was the basis of my first "wet dream" about two years later. Fast forward to my mid 50s when, touring in our caravan, I had my daily shower in the public shower blocks of the tourist parks. These shower blocks usually had cubicles with dividing walls that left an 8-to-10-inch gap underneath. Early in our travels, I noticed that the man in the next cubicle was masturbating, and I was a fascinated witness via the wet floor and overhead lighting, which produced a clear mirror effect. Over the years, having seen hundreds of these scenes, it seems clear to me that many men of my age group must have menopausal wives and use the showers for "plan B" – a harmless and victimless vice.
- age 65, Australia
I am definitely an exhibitionist because I have no problem being naked around my mom or sister (who is 15). They are fairly modest, but even so, are naked around me sometimes. I guess we are a semi-nude family, but as for myself, I enjoy being naked around our home whenever possible. Like tonight – when I got home from skating all afternoon, I ate dinner with my mom and then I took a shower and sat on the sofa naked next to her and we watched the news together. Even when I get an erection around them, I never hide it, because it is normal – like my mom explained, nothing to be embarrassed about.
- age 13, Florida
I know I'm a little bit of both, but I'm definitely more the exhibitionist. Whether it was skinny-dipping as a boy or visiting the nude beaches as an adult, I've always liked seeing the naked women and girls. But what has always gotten me really excited was to see them look me over. The thrill is always greatest when I noticed a woman looking at me with her eyes going south to my penis. I'm not sure why, but this has always been my biggest thrill when nude beaching or skinny-dipping, so I guess that makes me an exhibitionist.
- age 30, Maryland
When I was in boarding school, I really got into going from my dorm room to the showers in just my briefs and seeing who would stare at my bulge. I'd also do the same thing when I came home during the summer and my younger brother and his friends would spend the night. I'd find an excuse to go into his room – his friend couldn't stop staring.
- age 24, California
I have to say I am a bit of both. I like showing off my naked body to anyone who will look. This is somewhat easy because I am a nudist. But I also like to look at people who are naked, and who doesn't enjoy a decent looking girl to look at?
- age 18, United Kingdom
Exhibitionist, I guess, though isn't it two sides of the same coin? As a teenager, I was super-modest and shy, permitting myself to be seen naked only when absolutely necessary – in the showers after gym at school, for example; and then I would try my best to be invisible. Yet even then, I was very interested in checking out the other boys. Now, although I absolutely love to see other people naked, both male and female, I'm even fonder of showing off my own naked self – if it's a socially appropriate situation such as a nude beach (where I was today, by the way) as opposed to the embarrassment of being "caught" in some inappropriate, public self-display (although that intrigues me, too). I wish I could be a teenager again and masturbate naked in front of a trusted male friend who would also be nude and masturbating.
- age 54, New York
I'm definitely an exhibitionist; having someone watch me is a huge turn-on. Sometimes, I'll pretend I'm asleep, have my penis hanging out of my boxers, and watch the reactions of people that see me. It really is awesome because they think they're the only one around and I'm sleeping. So, I like having them see my penis and seeing what they'll do. One time at a sleepover, my friend woke up to find my penis hanging out and he started masturbating. It was totally awesome! Once they leave, I start masturbating and have some of the greatest orgasms ever.
- age 15, Wisconsin
I am more of a voyeur because I am shy and have low self-esteem. Two of my friends started having sex in front of me, and it was one of the most exciting things I've ever seen. I also like to check out women and masturbate about them later.
- age 18, California
I'm an exhibitionist. It turns me on to take nude pictures of myself and post them places, thinking that people (hopefully girls) are out there "enjoying" them.
- age 15, New York
I'm more of an exhibitionist – I have worked as a stripper in a gay club several times and I love the fact that I am giving support for other guys' (or at times, gals') masturbation sessions. Occasionally, guys would sit in the back of the showroom, masturbating as I performed. This is *very* erotic for me. Additionally, I have used a video cam and "performed" online for others to watch as I masturbate or stimulate myself.
- age 36, Kentucky
Definitely voyeur – viewing develops pictures in my mind, which are always nice when I masturbate. If you have mental pictures of something else you've seen, it's another fantasy gateway for masturbation, as fantasizing is always endless. Fantasy is the most important part of my masturbation experience, and being a voyeur always opens up more possibilities. After all, masturbation should always feel like a new and refreshing experience!
- age 15, Maryland
I'm a little bit of both. Watching my boyfriend masturbate turns me on. However, I love to show off my long legs and butt. Whenever I get a chance, I wear a miniskirt, sometimes without panties, and when I notice my man or anyone else checking me out, I seductively bend over to expose my thong (or lack of one). I love seeing the smile on their face and a bulge in their pants. I've even made a few girls smile.
- age 21, Florida (female)
I guess I'm mostly a voyeur, but sometimes an exhibitionist. On a completely unrelated note, I think it's too bad that this is the last Question of the Week that I'll have the pleasure of answering. It'll be missed for sure – not only as a way to spread information to one another about our society, but also as a tool to connect people of all ages and walks of life. I'll miss it greatly, but I look forward to what you're going to do next.
- age 17, Massachusetts
I'd have to say I'm a little (or perhaps a lot) of both. It's a real turn-on for me to be naked around other guys – say, in a locker room. At the same time, I also love to watch, or even just to sneak a peek when I get the chance. I'm very curious about other guys' bodies and I see it as a unique bonding experience for them to be curious about mine as well.
- age 21, Oklahoma
I'm definitely somewhere in the middle. Several of my friends have watched me and found it very arousing, but I also found watching them to be equally arousing. I enjoy showing off, but only when I feel like it. I have a body and penis that I'm proud of; however, I won't show it to just anyone. One must use discretion in these cases.
- age 17, Illinois
I am more of an exhibitionist to a certain extent. I enjoy having others watch me, perhaps in a dressing room or shower room, but I am a little shy being nude around women. I am straight and do prefer the company of women, but I also enjoy sitting nude in a sauna with a bunch of guys at the local gym chatting away. Then again, I guess I could say I'm just as much of a voyeur as I am an exhibitionist because I like to see how I compare to the other guys in the locker room. And I find it interesting to see the older men naked because I am still fairly young myself; I guess I'm curious to see if my penis will change much when I'm older.
- age 20, Maryland
I would say I'm both. I once had my friend sleep over when I was 15, and we were both nude as we played on my computer at night. I just started stroking as I sat there and he asked if I would mind if he did it, too. I agreed and then thoroughly enjoyed watching him masturbate. This continued for a few sleepovers, so that after a while, we just took turns watching each other. In these circumstances, I found that I ejaculated a lot more and much more quickly.
- age 17, United Kingdom
I am more a voyeur than an exhibitionist. Watching others having sex turns me on. I like to fantasize being an exhibitionist, but I have trouble getting to that point because of the consequences and jokes friends would make about it. It would be easier for me to be an exhibitionist with people I do not know and would probably never meet again.
- age 35, Minnesota
Well, at those rare times when I get into a sexual situation with friends (at sleepovers and the like), I tend to watch rather than participate, even though I may want to join in. I think this is just an issue of shyness. Ideally, I think I'd do both equally, but that just doesn't seem to happen in real life. But hey – at least I don't have to worry about embarrassing stories about me being spread around.
- age 14, Illinois
I've done the cybersex thing and masturbated on webcam at a certain webcam site. But that was less about exhibitionism and more about finding someone attractive and then watching each other. The idea of people in the public chatroom watching us didn't turn me on or off. On the other hand, I am quite a voyeur. Even when I am not on webcam myself, I often go to the site to watch others. I think it stems from an experience I had many years ago. I used to watch a male friend masturbating without his knowledge, and it was always awesome to see.
- age 29, Australia
I'd say I'm both. Viewing others can turn anybody on I think, and being viewed makes you feel like you can control the people watching you, kind of like "I'll show you mine if you show me yours." And the thought of making people horny kind of makes me horny, because when I'm horny it's like my conscience leaves, and I can feel free to do anything I want without any worries of what is right and what is wrong.
- age 14, Texas
I was once in a public toilet where there was a tiny hole in the wall between the cubicles. I was quite turned on to see a guy in the next cubicle slowly masturbating. Although I'm not gay, this made my penis quite stiff and I immediately started to stroke, too. Within less than a minute, I ejaculated what seemed to be a massive amount – so I guess that my voyeuristic activity was a real turn-on for me.
- age 54, United Kingdom
I have the urge to see or watch a good friend of mine masturbate. I don't think I'm gay or anything like that, but when I masturbate, I think of him or other guys doing what I am doing. I have read other letters about the same problem, but I'm not sure how I should handle it. I want to let him know somehow that I want to do it with him, but then again, I'm worried that we would no longer be friends because he might think of me the wrong way.
- age 16, California
I guess I am more of an exhibitionist. I like to watch, but I get more turned on by someone watching me masturbate. I have set up many situations where someone would walk in on me. I also really enjoy masturbating in front of my wife.
- age 32, Pennsylvania
I guess I would have to be an exhibitionist. My brother is 14 and I just turned 17 but we have always done things together. We play baseball, soccer, swimming, and go camping. We have always shared a bedroom and have always dressed and showered in front of each other without any kind of embarrassment. Recently, I have found it arousing to go to bed at night, and after a few minutes, to start to masturbate. I know my brother is watching because I always make just enough noise to let him know what I am doing. If I am going to take a shower, he will come in to brush his teeth or use the bathroom, but now I make sure I have an erection that can be seen through the shower doors. Occasionally, I masturbate and pretend to be surprised when he sees me. It's all very erotic and makes my orgasm even more exciting.
- age 17, California
Exhibitionist – I have a nice body and take care of it, so having others see it and admire it makes me feel very sexy. I especially like knowing that other men find my body appealing, as I am often asked how I keep myself in such good shape. That makes me feel good.
- age 50, Illinois
Definitely a voyeur – even though my penis is an average size (6 1/2 inches), for some reason I don't really enjoy the fact that other people are watching me. It really turns me on to see other people naked, especially my girlfriend, but oddly enough, I also get aroused when I see my friends' penises.
- age 15, Michigan
Definitely an exhibitionist – whether it is simply walking around the locker room naked or making sure that my penis is in view when using the facilities in public restrooms for anyone who wants a look, I enjoy showing what I have. I used to be ashamed of my penis (I have a dark birthmark on the glans), but now I embrace it as a unique aspect that I should be proud of. I recently masturbated in a sauna at a hotel, and just the thought of someone "catching" me made my erection extremely hard and the session extremely intense – so I guess that shows that I am an exhibitionist. I enjoy watching other guys in the shower in the locker room or a woman getting undressed, but showing off is definitely a thrill.
- age 23, Australia
What I like most about masturbation is that if I watch myself in a mirror, I can be a voyeur and an exhibitionist at the same time!
- age 14, Wisconsin
Exhibitionist! In our city, radio stations have events where you go naked into the sea in the winter for a monetary prize, and I have been doing this for a few years. I enjoy posting my naked pictures on the Internet for the whole world to see.
- age 32, New Zealand