A few years ago I was having trouble getting myself to climax by hand. As soon as I felt an orgasm was around the corner, I would lose my erection. Once, I noticed a picture of one of my closest male friends on the wall, and – BAM! Suddenly, I realized that I had found my "trigger." Any time I needed "help" after that, no matter where I was, I could close my eyes and think of him and everything would work out. However, I felt guilty about it, so I told him. We're both straight (as far as I know) and he seemed fairly upset about it, but he also told me he was flattered. Things were awkward between us for a while, but it had no lasting effect on our friendship. I don't have trouble climaxing anymore, but in the rare instance that I do, I now keep my fantasies to minor acquaintances or porn!
- age 25, Iowa
This Week's Wackiest Response:
Friends? Who has time for friends? There are so many ways to masturbate, and so little time....
- age 33, Washington
I've been masturbating to my female classmates, friends, and co-workers since junior high school. I think that most would be flattered to know a guy was masturbating to thoughts of them. Maybe, if they found out, they'd ask what they were wearing on the days you masturbated to them to give them an idea of when they looked the sexiest.
- age 36, Connecticut
I always have sexual fantasies about my friends, male and female. Some (or maybe most) of them probably wouldn't care, and they might even be aroused because they probably think about their friends, too. Some of the guys might think I am homosexual or something; I know some of them are homophobic.
- age 14, Pennsylvania
The friends (of both sexes) to whom this applies in my case tend to be the ones who are more relaxed about sexual behavior, so they'd probably be flattered and/or amused. I'm in no doubt that their laid-back attitudes contribute to their "viability" as fantasy subjects. In fact, I've exchanged fantasy scenarios with several of them anyway, which were all the more piquant given the fact that we were and are all in stable relationships with other people. We all enjoyed the flirtatious element involved, but it also served to make our friendships more intimate.
- age 47, United Kingdom
I have had sexual fantasies about my friends, both male. I am straight, but I just like to see them (or other boys) naked. I think that they would say, "You're gay," or whatever.
- age 14, Connecticut
I have had sexual fantasies about my good (male) friend. I'm sure he would be embarrassed if I told him, but then probably flattered.
- age 45, Vermont (female)
Yes I have had and do have fantasies about my friends, and I've told them and they are all right with it. I guess they deal with it, but I'd rather they know instead of me having to hide it from them. They haven't done anything bad; they just accepted it and that was the end of it.
- age 16, Texas
I often think about masturbating with a male friend of mine. I think it's because we have known each other for over 25 years and I could trust him. We both have common issues with our wives, the lack of sexual encounters, which could be a springboard to masturbation sessions and pleasing each other. I hope he would share the same interest. I don't really know what his reaction would be, but someday I hope to find out. It would be great if we could give each other a nice, slow, genital massage to orgasm, integrated with some gentle oral stimulation.
- age 51, Virginia
I often fantasize about a friend of mine that I have known for 8 years. He knows I am bisexual and is comfortable with it. If he ever did find out about it, I do not think he would be very happy. I have tried to get close to him in the past, but he just isn't interested in that sort of thing. If he knew my true feelings, he would most likely back away.
- age 20, Canada
I fantasize things like having a masturbation party. If people found out about it, they would probably be okay about it – well, some of them, anyway. We once had a talk about this, all three of us, and we said that it's okay to think about and even be turned on by the same sex and each other – not in an explicit and obscene way, but as in becoming erect upon seeing each other's genitals. So yes, they would be okay about it. For the other males out there, I can't say. Some are way against that small part of homosexuality in all of us, some are fine with it, and some of us are totally homosexual. To me, a little same-sex attraction is fine, and that's what my friends would think.
- age 28, United Kingdom
I always have sexual fantasies about my friends, mainly girls. All my girlfriends seem to turn me on in their own mysterious ways. Actually, it is quite the problem for me to be around girls I know without (oops!) getting an erection. I think if they found out, I would die of embarrassment, but then I think they would probably draw towards me more often because, after all, everyone enjoys sex.
- age 16, North Carolina
I do not fantasize about my closest friends at all. For some reason, I just don't see them in a sexual way. The people I fantasize most about are those that I would call acquaintances. I think about them having sex, masturbating alone, or masturbating with me. Most of the fantasies involve other males, but when it comes to acting on a sexual fantasy, I prefer to do that with females. Some say I fantasize too much, but my penis and testicles tell me a different story when I reach an orgasm. I am so glad that I stopped believing people who told me it is wrong to masturbate.
- age 24, Indiana
All of my sexual fantasies involve friends. I doubt much would happen if they found out. I would divulge my fantasies freely if asked. Gender isn't much of a factor to me, so I might get a little negative feedback from my heterosexual friends, but I think that's probably about it. I don't befriend the closed-minded, so most of my friends would probably be flattered and open for experimentation.
- age 16, Florida
I occasionally fantasize about people – not about my close friends, but about co-workers or people I see casually, such as at school or acquaintances. Many of the fantasies involve males, as I have never been with one and often wonder what it would be like. If they were to find out and were open to it, I might want to try things with them, but I wouldn't really know what to do if they were against it... it would be very awkward. If they couldn't accept that I am sometimes curious, then I'd rather not know them.
- age 20, Canada
I fairly frequently have homoerotic fantasies about one of my female friends, but I doubt she'd mind. You see, she's my temporary roommate, and a few nights ago I got pretty drunk and asked if I could do stuff with her. She just sort of stared at me and laughed, and everyone in the house has been busting on me about it since, but I doubt that she really cares.
- age 15, Florida (female)
I have a handsome colleague/friend at work that is married with two children. He's made a few allusions about how his wife doesn't "take care of him" like she used to. My fantasy is to take up where she left off – by giving him the greatest oral sex of his life – right in the company loo – milking him dry to the last drop. I've gone so far as to touch his thighs and backside "accidentally." He has had no reaction, positive or negative. I reckon he would enjoy it, though a serious dose of alcohol may be required first for both of us.
- age 36, Belgium
I fantasize often about my friends. In fact, sexual encounters with my male friends are pretty much the only things I fantasize about. Fortunately for me, they are quite often doing sexual things with each other, usually claiming that it's funny. I've seen them naked many times, and I've seen a few of them masturbating. This has provided me with a wealth of material. However, if they were ever to find out that I fantasize about them, those encounters would abruptly stop. In fact, I would probably fear for my life because they are extremely (and, hypocritically) homophobic.
- age 14, Illinois
Actually, I do have and have had these fantasies. For a very a long time I've had the desire to masturbate with several of my closest male friends. Frequently I'll use the thoughts of that as fantasy for my own masturbation. I'm pretty sure that they wouldn't be pleased about those thoughts at all and they'd probably tell me I was sick and disgusting, might even end the friendship – which is why these remain strictly fantasy!
- age 45, Vermont
Since last year, I keep thinking of my best friend. We have been friends since we were 5, and have done just about everything together. We have seen each other naked many times, but now, for me anyway, it is so different. He and I are always talking about girls and what we would do (neither of us has ever had a girlfriend), but now, I wonder what it would be like to do stuff with him. I'm not sure how he would react, but I am willing to take a chance and find out.
- age 13, Florida
I am married and I often fantasize about having orgies with other couples who are friends. They involve having sex with two of the more attractive wifeys at the same time while my wife is being pleasured by two of the better-hung husbands. It also includes my wife having sex with one of the other wifeys and even some male-on-male stuff. If they ever were to find out about my fantasies, I think our friendships would be damaged and I would be looked upon as a pervert.
- age 62, New York
I made the mistake of telling my best male friend that I had a dream in which he and I were masturbating together, and he totally lost it. Now he doesn't speak to me. I worry that he will tell others that I had a gay dream about him and who knows what might happen. On the other hand, my girlfriend and I both have fantasies about each other as we masturbate, and I think it's kind of cool that I can arouse her, and she thinks it's great that I fantasize about kissing her or touching her body while I masturbate and that it makes my orgasms stronger.
- age 16, California
As young teenagers, a good friend and I occasionally masturbated together. We shared many experiences and never kept anything from each other. Recently, I saw him for the first time in many years and spent an evening at his home with his family and him. One night when his family was away, I mentioned I had fantasized about masturbating with him, like in the "old days." He politely declined, and I thought that was that, but two days later, I received a scathing letter saying how outraged and insulted he had been at my "horrible suggestion," and that he would never see or speak to me again if I were ever to broach the subject again. His rage and condemnation surprised me since we had grown up like brothers. I felt deeply hurt, and have little contact with him now.
- age 52, South Carolina
I sometimes play with the thought about masturbating my best friend and even sucking his penis, just as an experiment. If I told him about it, he'd probably not be my friend anymore!
- age 13, Denmark
When I was about 15, I used to have sexual fantasies. I wish I could have had sex with the big guys of the school. I didn't know I was gay at that time, so I thought it was okay to think about them sexually. Those guys embodied the maleness that I didn't have yet. I would love to have masturbated with them and have seen them naked. That's why today I am quite attracted to straight young guys – I want to do with them what I couldn't do at that time. And you know what? Sometimes these straight guys love [penis]!
- age 29, France
Yes, I have sexual fantasies about my male friends all the time, although I've tried to stop since I've realized that doing so makes me develop crushes on them, which I don't really want. All of them are probably straight and I'm just getting my hopes up. If they were to find out about it, a couple would probably laugh, but most would disown me for life.
- age 16, Australia
I can't say that I've ever fantasized about my friends of either gender. They are like siblings and it would be too weird to fantasize about them.
- age 23, New York
I've often fantasized about a girl I know. She is beautiful in every way. I like to think about seducing her, getting her really aroused, and then having sex in a park or something of that nature. I have also thought about my guy friend. He is really cool and I would like very much to masturbate with him, but the opportunity has not yet presented itself. If the girl were ever to find out, I would die. If my guy friend were to find out, I might be a little embarrassed, but he would understand because, well, he's a guy.
- age 15, Kentucky
I've probably had sex in my fantasies with just about every girl I know. Once it actually felt a bit weird when the girl I was having fantasies about almost walked in on me. But otherwise, it actually has not been so weird to me. And I guess I would be okay with anyone else fantasizing about me, even if it was a person of the same gender (although I'm guessing that does not happen much). Fantasizing is, after all, just fantasizing.
- age 18, Sweden
I have noticed that my best friend has a very large penis compared to mine when I've seen him in the locker room. I have often fantasized about masturbating together and looking at his larger-than-average penis. Quite often, I think of giving him oral sex. Though I consider myself straight, I find the idea of having a large penis in my mouth oddly erotic. If he were to find out, he would probably never talk to me again and tell the school I was a sick, gay man (which I'm not) .
- age 16, Iowa
My friend knows I'm gay and he's straight, but we're like brothers. I told him the other night I dreamed that he was bi or gay and I was his boyfriend. I then said I wished he was and he didn't mind. Then he said, "Only because it's you will I do this," and we masturbated each other to orgasm. It was so great and a memory I will love forever.
- age 18, Ontario, Canada
I'd have to say that I have had sexual fantasies about my friends. I'm almost fourteen and have a lot of pubic hair, where my friends don't (we occasionally masturbate together). But, they always think of girls. I'm not gay but when I reach the climax, I start thinking about one of them. My friends are all mostly 12, 14, and 15. I don't really know what they would do if I told them I have fantasies about them but I think they would call me gay – or other names – maybe even just not talk to me anymore. I love this site!
- age 13, Florida
Except for those occasions when I am cyber-masturbating with someone in a "self-expression" chat room, or those rare times when I am telephone masturbating with either of two close and valued friends, I do not have sexual fantasies about individuals. Although my two telephone-friends have told me they sometimes fantasize about me, I do not reciprocate. For me to do so is to invade another's spiritual or psychic space, which I do not believe I have the right to do. That may not be a clear explanation, but it is part of my Native American heritage. I do not expect others to understand my beliefs; however, they make sense to me, which is all that matters.
- age 63, Michigan
I try my best not to have sexual fantasies about any of my friends. If I were to have the fantasy I know that is all I would think about whenever I talk to them.
- age 17, Illinois
When I was younger, I had fantasies about my friends all the time. Some I acted out, but most I did not. I think fantasies are a very healthy way to think through ideas. By experiencing the acts through fantasy, we can decide if they're a good idea or not. My fantasies now are more wondering if the older man is still enjoying masturbation the same as I do and trying to picture him doing it. I'm sure most of them do, although they would never admit it.
- age 69, Texas
I always think of my friends of both genders when I masturbate. I am not gay, but I am pretty open-minded about things. If my friends were to find out, I would absolutely die from shock and embarrassment.
- age 15, Scotland, United Kingdom
More often than not, I do not fantasize about my friends because I would feel like a hypocrite – on one hand to think about the person as a sexual object, and on the other hand to deal with that person in a seemingly non-sexual way. When I was a teenager, I was always fantasizing about the girls of my class, but this is the kind of attitude with which I would no longer feel comfortable. I prefer to have a clear division in my mind between people that I include in my fantasies (often, people I see only from time to time and are not close friends) and people who are friends. The problem is not what these friends would say if they knew (they wouldn't know, because I can keep my mouth shut) but how *I* would feel about it myself.
- age 40, Belgium
One of my favorite ways to masturbate is to fantasize about sex with my best friend. She has been my friend since 7th grade; we are now in 11th, and never have we had any kind of sexual contact or relationship. If she were to find out that I fantasize about her, I don't know what would happen. I hope that she would be turned on by it, because she does masturbate, but I am too afraid to tell her. I don't want her to flip out and hate me, because she really is my best friend, and that's a relationship I don't want to lose.
- age 16, Wisconsin
Often I dreamed of using my mouth to please my female friends (most of the time). It would consist of me going into their rooms and sort of catching them off guard. (They are or were mostly virgins.) In my fantasies, they were less reluctant because I was the one doing the work, not the friend in question or the two of us. But with the thought of a male friend, it was mostly intercourse. As for telling them, it would make the girls very uncomfortable and perhaps the guys as well.
- age 19, Illinois (female)
I'm bisexual and had been crushing on my best guy friend for two years, which of course, includes fantasizing. He's a fine specimen. And it was eating me up to be lying and sneaking around, so I actually told him I like him, which I guess isn't quite the question because it's hypothetical. Well, besides being totally cool with the fact that his best friend is bi, he said it was "really flattering, in an odd way" that I had been crushing on him and fantasizing about him.
- age 17, New Jersey
Indeed, I often fantasize about my best friend of 23 years. Although I haven't seen him in many years, I have been fantasizing about him almost exclusively for the past several months. I have finally admitted to myself that I am bisexual and this has opened a flood of memories about him. One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't come to terms with this many years ago. We're both married now, but I suspect that had I told him this way back when, he would have been receptive to it and perhaps even have admitted the same to me. I would love to masturbate him or with him now, but I think if I were to tell him about it now, he wouldn't be as receptive now that he has a wife and kids.
- age 37, New Jersey
I do fantasize about my friends and I don't know what most would think, but for the one of them who showed me this site, I'm sure they'd think it's perfectly normal.
- age 15, Illinois
I have had fantasies of friends, both when I'm awake and when I'm sleeping. I imagine that my male friends (most I know are fairly homophobic) would probably react poorly to ever finding out – the females, probably less so. I once told a female friend and she admitted having had the same thoughts about me. Nothing ever came of it, and the friendship is still just as strong today.
- age 19, Canada
I keep fantasies about my friends contained to a few girls that I know very well. Actually, we had a discussion about this around a week ago. Beyond the initial "wow" factor, it was a nice, frank discussion that led to mutual masturbation.
- age 16, Arizona
It depends on how close I am to someone. If I'm not that close to the person, I am usually more attracted to him. After knowing someone for a long time, I tend to get used to him and thus be less attracted. Usually if my friend were to know that I am attracted, they would be flattered. I tend to choose only nice people as friends!
- age 38, Massachusetts
I actually fantasize about my boyfriend's best friend and roommate, who is very attractive. I've known him for six years (way before I met my boyfriend) and we came very close to hooking up once. I think he fantasizes about me too, because the several times that I have spent the night, he stares at me through my nightgown, and I've noticed he is aroused.
- age 17, Texas (female)
I have shared my fantasies with one of the females involved. She says it sounds as if it would be fun, but because of the relationship she is in, would not do. However, if the relationship ends, we will live out the fantasy. We are both SCUBA divers and it involves sex underwater. Both of us have fantasized about each other underwater.
- age 53, Ohio
I have sexual fantasies about nearly 85% of my friends, both male and female. I consider myself straight, so obviously, I fantasize about my female friends, but I also think that guys are very attractive as well. So I fantasize about them masturbating or having sex with other people, just as I would the girls. Some of my female friends wouldn't mind if they found out, but most would be a little weirded out by it. Nearly all of my male friends, unless there are some that are gay or bisexual that I don't know about, are pretty homophobic for some reason, so they would be very grossed out if they ever found out that I fantasize about them.
- age 16, Nebraska
One of my guy friends found out I've had fantasies about him, he asked me out, and we're currently a couple. If one of my female friends found out I've had fantasies about her, it'd probably become an interesting inside joke, since she's bi. I think she may even be outgoing enough to offer to make my fantasies come true, but I wouldn't take her up on it since I'm more interested in my boyfriend.
- age 19, Massachusettes (female)
At age 15 I was ever so sexually attracted to my best friend, of the same age. He was my total fantasy and I would think of what I would like to do with him almost every time I masturbated. I was so frightened of him thinking I was gay that I never spoke about anything sexual or masturbation to him, though I did to other friends. Occasionally we would play wrestle and once when I sat on him, I could feel that his penis was erect but I ignored it. Twenty years later I still regret not being more open with him.
- age 35, United Kingdom
I've always had the fantasy of masturbating with my friends. One night one guy's family went out of town, so we all stayed over at his house. We started watching porn, and after about half an hour, some started masturbating! Within a few minutes, all five of us were, and we even helped each other out. I found out later that a few of us shared the same fantasy.
- age 19, Texas