"Mental and physical dynamite" describes my first opportunity to masturbate in privacy with uncensored pornographic magazines. My penis got rock-hard and stayed that way. My heart and mind raced as I gazed at the attractive young models showing me everything. But in a way, it was a long-deferred joy. I was in my 20s and had never had privacy and pictures together at the same time. Only recently had magazines begun to openly show women's genitals at all. I had previously masturbated to imagined scenes of what was below the clothes of attractive mail-order catalog models, or to line drawings in medical reference books, or to Playboy girls who crossed their legs or wore panties. I know a lot of pornography is related to social problems such as abuse of women, but as I felt my body respond to the sights, and I imagined myself sharing love, sexual contact, and open admiration with a beautiful woman, I said to myself, "This is exactly why this stuff has been around for centuries, and I'm going to enjoy it." I keep the pornography habit private, though.
- age 51, Ohio
This Week's Wackiest Response:
I never looked at pornography, but once I masturbated while looking at a picture of a cow. I felt less guilty than confused.
- age 16, Utah
My dad had a collection of porn in a cupboard under his bed. I remember finding it one day and reading a few erotic stories as I looked at the photos. Sometimes I even watched his videos. I was very careful, because I was afraid he would catch me. Often, I would feel ashamed afterwards. Like many guys, I was trying to come to terms with masturbation at the time. My family didn't talk about sex and masturbation much – although I should have gotten a clue from the fact that my dad had a porn collection.
- age 20, California
I started to watch German porn channels on my satellite TV. When nobody was around, I could masturbate in peace as I watched, and it was fantastic!
- age 16, United Kingdom
I completely lose interest in porn after I ejaculate – which sucks, because I usually masturbate with on-demand porn movies at hotels.
- age 21, Hong Kong
At the age of 12 I had my first contact with erotic literature. As I read it, my vagina started to itch, and somehow I felt like stroking it. Bingo! Should I have regretted it afterwards? Probably. Education tried to stimulate guilt in those days. Fortunately, my parents avoided topics like that. Neither did the church dare to go into details. Somehow, they still believed that girls had no sex life. So, I made up my mind not to feel guilty, and instead, I decided to enjoy it. I still do, even today. Unfortunately, porn for girls is rare and (if it exists at all) incredibly boring.
- age 53, Germany (female)
This may sound strange, but the first time I masturbated to a nude picture, it was of my mom. My father died several years ago, and my mom had a box of his stuff up in the attic. Last winter, I was getting some Christmas things and found the box. I looked through it, and one of the items I found was an envelope with several pictures of my mom nude in different poses. Nothing bad, I guess – just erotic. I was quite horny anyway, so when I saw these pictures, it put me over the top. She is still hot. At first I felt bad, but I kept the pictures and still use them sometimes.
- age 14, Florida
My experience involved the Internet – I was especially turned on by erotic stories. I started using the Internet as a masturbation resource when I was around 13, and I'm not about to stop. It is an excellent way to get the best erotica and pornography – free, cheap, and fast.
- age 17, California
Yuck! I've done many things I'm not proud of, but fortunately, using pornography to masturbate isn't one of them. It goes against my faith to use pornography. Plus, growing up with 4 women (a loving mother and 3 sisters), I wouldn't ever *want* to masturbate to porn. I wouldn't want anyone ever to look at *my* sisters like that. So while I am grateful for women's amazing beauty, I would feel so dirty using women like that – I just never could.
- age 26, Ohio
The first time I ever encountered porno was when I found my brother's Playboy under his bed. I had just gotten home from a baseball game. As I looked at it, I got an instant erection – but I was still wearing my cup, so there *was* a downside.
- age 15, Virginia
High irony here – I was writing an article about why I didn't like porn – it was degrading, etc. But to write the article, I decided to do some "research." I found some porn on the Web and discovered that it is a tremendous turn-on. My clitoris started to pulse rapidly, and I masturbated to orgasm almost immediately. Now, I think the problem is not pornography per se, but the fact that women are taught not to look – only to be looked at. The whole "men are more visual than women" idea is a myth. Women get very turned on looking at naked people having sex – who wouldn't? If more women started using and making their own porn, sex could become more of an equal exchange, rather than men feeling guilty about using women, and women feeling used.
- age 20, California (female)
A few months after I discovered masturbation at age 12, I came upon a porn site. At first, I read only the sex stories, because at that age, adult genitalia disgusted me. Stories usually brought me to the end about twice as fast as just fantasizing. My feelings towards it were just sort of neutral. I didn't feel anything like, "Oh yeah, I'm going to go do this with my girlfriend!" or, "Oh my god, I will never do this again." Shortly after my 14th birthday, I decided to try looking at real porn pictures. This experience was amazing. Rather than being grossed out, I was highly turned on. It put a kick back into masturbation, which had become boring. To this day, I usually use pornography as my main source of pleasure, and I hope it will last me for the next 10 years until I am ready for sex.
- age 15, Virginia
I don't know if you would consider this pornography, but the first photo images I masturbated to were the underwear sections from the Sears and Montgomery Ward's catalogs. As I entered puberty, I found them highly erotic.
- age 38, Florida
The first time I masturbated to pornography was when I found a Hustler in my brother's magazine drawer. (I wasn't looking for porno at the time.) I think I was 13. It really opened my eyes. It answered a lot of my questions about sex. I didn't regret it at all after masturbating to it. Afterwards, I put it back in his drawer. Whenever I got an opportunity, I'd go back and get it out. Often it was turned to a different page than where I had left it, so I knew that my brother was using it, too. It's funny that we both grew up to be decent members of society, even though we were exposed to pornography at a very young age. I don't know why there's so much fuss to keep it out of children's hands – if they want it, they're going to get it anyway.
- age 18, California
My first pornographic experiences were with a couple of friends and a Playboy magazine that we snagged. We were about 9 or 10. We didn't take out our penises, but I definitely remember being erect as we looked at the pictures. Later, at home by myself, I would think of those pictures and masturbate – just because it felt good. Orgasm didn't come until many years later. I don't remember feeling guilty about it, but I sure do remember that Playboy! Nowadays I find pornography somewhat unsatisfying. At times I may use it to get an erection, but I'm rarely still looking at it when I climax – I'm too much into my own body.
- age 38, North Carolina
Once, after everyone at a party had gone to bed, I stayed in the living room with a boy I had known before. We watched the same pornographic film that we had watched earlier in the bigger group. I was completely wet. I wanted to see something special, so I pretended to fall asleep in a big armchair. In about ten minutes I saw him take out his rifle and start to stroke. My idea didn't turn out very well, because then I was afraid to do anything but pretend to sleep. So, I had to wait. Soon he ejaculated on his T-shirt (I had never seen that before). When he left, I just *touched* my clitoris and had the best orgasm ever!
- age 17, Sweden (female)
I remember pornography being kind of disappointing. I'd heard about magazines like Playboy and Penthouse from guys at school, but when I finally discovered where my father had his stashed, they didn't turn me on. I couldn't figure out what was so great about it. I assumed that I was still too young – that when I was older I would find naked women arousing. Later, while visiting my aunt, I discovered her stash of PlayGIRLs, and then suddenly the light dawned! That day, I finally figured out just what the big deal was, and I discovered something about myself as well. (I spent *much* time in the bathroom on that trip.)
- age 36, Canada
My first pornographic masturbation experience was rather nice. First, I like to look at guys – except that I prefer to think about what sex is like *for* them, not what it is like *with* them. I had printed a picture from the Internet, and as I masturbated (something I had been doing for a while), I thought of this guy being with a woman. At times I pretended to be him! Perhaps the experience itself was spawned from jealousy! Anyway, the little stipulation that happens within me (imagining how sex is *for* a guy and not *with* a guy) naturally created added confusion over what sexuality I might be – but in time, I learned that one's sexuality does not (and *should* not) matter. This made me feel less guilty every time I would masturbate to porn. After that first time, it felt so wrong; now, it feels so right.
- age 19, New York
My first pornography was a trashy novel of my mother's ("Princess Daisy" by Judith Krantz) which I snuck off her bookshelf at age13. I discovered an incredible sex scene between a 14-year-old boy and a 30-something woman who initiates him. I didn't really think of it as masturbating with pornography at the time; I would read it, get extremely horny, and then have to masturbate. It wasn't nearly as graphic as the stuff you can read on the Net these days, but it was every young boy's fantasy, and because it was a story, I could imagine myself as the main character. I still think that's so much sexier than watching other people do it.
- age 25, Washington, D.C.
I never felt guilty about using pornography – but it was awkward when my dad found out and confronted me about it. Lately, though, I feel guilty because I promised my girlfriend I would abstain from it. But sometimes I slip up.
- age 15, Utah
When I started masturbating, all I could find were catalog bra ads and the National Geographic. When I was done, I was an expert on cup sizes and a lifelong subscriber to the Geographic. Back then, my buddies and I would have killed for just one night on the Internet.
- age 54, Michigan
I found that erotic stories arouse me more than anything. Pictures of naked women give me erections, but reading erotic stories can cause spontaneous orgasms. Even reading JackinWorld makes me want to masturbate.
- age 18, Ohio
Once when my brother and I were walking home from elementary school, we found some pages from some porno magazines. Some of the pictures showed naked women, and some were from a gay men's magazine. One picture I still remember was of two men – one in a T-shirt and the other naked – peeing alongside a road somewhere. I enjoyed those pictures very much. I never regretted it at all. Then my brother showed the pages to our father, who took them away. Darn that boy!
- age 30, California (female)
My first experience of masturbating to pornography was when I was 13. A friend and I found a porno magazine in the woods behind his house. We took it back to his house and began to look at it. We each noticed the other's erection. We had masturbated in front of each other before, but never with a magazine to look at. So we took off all of our clothes to be like the people in the magazine, and proceeded to masturbate. It took only about two minutes before we ejaculated. It was one of the best orgasms I've ever had. We still have that same magazine, and we still masturbate to it every once in a while, just for old time's sake.
- age 18, Indiana
It was great! I remember being naked, looking at pornographic pictures, and having a monster erection. The first time was special, because as I looked at the pictures, I starting leaking "pre-cum" as if someone had turned on a faucet.
- age 23, New Jersey
Although I do look at lots of pornography to get myself excited, I don't actually masturbate while looking at or reading pornography, because I always shut my eyes the entire time I masturbate. And I always masturbate lying on my back in bed. When I look at pornography, I am usually clothed to heighten my sexual tension. As I become excited, I must resort to groping my crotch instead of actually stroking my penis.
- age 19, California
My friend and I (he is two years older) went to a neighbor's house to feed their dog, and we stumbled upon a huge stack of Playboy magazines. We read them for about two hours. Then we found some condoms. I put one on to see what it would feel like, and my friend was grossed out (a bit of a homophobe I think), so I went home and came back later without him. I sat on the bed and masturbated with the condom on, because I loved the feel of the lubrication on my penis.
- age 15, Kentucky
My first experiences were with some of my older brother's magazines. I had just started to masturbate and found that photos showing a man inside a woman excited me. These photos helped me to develop other fantasies that led me to masturbate even when I didn't have the photos. This encounter with porn made me feel a "purpose" or define the need for self-pleasure. I have no regrets and only good memories of the moments I spent with my brother's photo collection.
- age 41, Iowa (female)
Before pornography, I had very little to work with in my imagination. I had little knowledge of anatomy or how things actually looked. When I discovered pornography, it opened up a new realm of fantasies and ideas. I'm glad I used it, because otherwise, I probably would have had very boring sessions. Nowadays I find myself using my mind more, but my fantasies may come from some pornography that I saw.
- age 16, New York
When I started masturbating, there was no pornography at all. So I created my own, drawing pictures of naked women with their legs spread wide, etc. These were no great works of art, but they served their purpose. By the time I had finished a drawing and put black stockings on the legs, I had a good erection and proceeded to masturbate with gusto. Ever since, pornography has been an excellent masturbation enhancement.
- age 55, Spain
When I first started to masturbate, I looked at pornographic pictures on the Internet. I looked at more pornography in my first few weeks of masturbating, when I started at 13, than I have ever since. When I looked at pornography, I would feel guilty as soon as I ejaculated – as if I knew the woman I was looking at, got into her mind, and thought about how I would feel if someone were looking at me naked. Now, I occasionally look at Internet pornography when I want to have a really good session, even though I still feel guilty afterwards.
- age 14, Florida
What a relief it was! Instead of getting turned on by girls at school, having to hide my erection, and then later masturbate as I tried to remember the glimpse of beauty I had seen earlier, I could look lovingly for as long as I liked at the kind of girl that attracts me. And, she was naked. I could look long at her round breasts that would fill out a sweater, and gaze forever at where the penis enters as I enjoyed the surges of feeling in my own penis. I could still be staring as I felt my orgasm approach and begin. I'm married but I still masturbate with pornographic pictures, because I still have those same feelings.
- age 40, Delaware
The first time I masturbated with pornography, I didn't intend to. I was 16, at my boyfriend's house, and found a Hustler magazine in his bedroom. I didn't regret doing it, but I felt kind of odd afterwards. First, I masturbated to a picture of a woman. Second, I still hid from my boyfriend the fact that I masturbated. It was fun, though, because he was in the garage with his friends and could have walked in at any moment.
- age 25, California (female)
I am a Christian and do not think pornography pleases God – but I would like to get great results, such as a massive ejaculation and an extremely tingly orgasm.
- age 13, Illinois
My first pornography was stories from the newsgroups, and I went back for more and more. It taught me lots about how to please my woman. I think everyone should read porn at times – for ideas.
- age 26, New Zealand
I was 10 or 11 years old when I first masturbated with pornography. A friend had given me a few centerfolds of a chick and a guy having sex. It felt really bad and naughty to me at such a young age. Then I was exposed to video porn of lesbians and guys doing chicks. I remember wanking over them often when my mum and dad weren't home. I don't regret it; rather, I'm kind of glad. All in all, it has shaped the way I see sex.
- age 17, Australia
When I was 16, I found one of my dad's Playboy magazines. I'm not lesbian, but looking at all those naked chicks got me so turned on I just had to masturbate – right then and there in my parents' bedroom. Wow! It was one of the highlights of my teen years. I never felt guilty or embarrassed, and I've used porn and erotica since then – both alone and with a partner.
- age 33, Pennsylvania (female)
One of my friends usually brings a videotape with porn every time we have a party (girls don't like it). The first time I saw this, I was 14 and still virgin. It was my first visual contact with something so sexual. The film was not very good, but I was so aroused that I ejaculated spontaneously in my underwear. The bad thing was that one of my friends saw my face as I had the orgasm, and he made all of the other boys take off my clothes to see if it was true. They all had a big laugh at me and said that if I didn't masturbate in front of them, they would tell everyone what happened. I didn't have a big problem with this – the film was still on, and later, we all masturbated in front of each other.
- age 18, France
When I was 12, a buddy showed me some porn he found in his older brother's room. We both got excited and started to rub ourselves as we looked at it. He asked me if I had ever masturbated. I said yes, so we both stripped and masturbated as we looked at the porn. To tell the truth, I was more interested in seeing him masturbate than in looking at the book. This experience led to many more episodes later on. We shared a lot more with each other until we discovered girls. I have never regretted it.
- age 38, Illinois