Common reasons for wishing for a different introduction to masturbation included wanting to have learned earlier, wanting to have learned from a friend who would then have shared the practice, and wanting to have learned from a parent or other relative. Common reasons for people being satisfied with their introduction included researching and exploring on their own and learning from a friend who then shared the activity.
A few people described being forced into masturbating someone older. One of these people felt used and robbed of his innocence. Others described experiences with older people (mostly other youths 2-5 years older) as more of a mutual exchange. They valued the learning they got and accepted that the older person would have gotten something, too.]
I wouldn't change how I learned about masturbation – it was a nice combination of book and classroom learning mixed with self-discovery. I learned what masturbation is in my sex-ed class and from a book my mom bought me. Without that input, I wonder if it ever would have occurred to me to try something like that. After I learned the basics, the rest of my education was trial-and-error – finding what I liked and didn't like, what worked for me and what didn't.
- age 20, Massachusetts
I'd like to have learned about masturbation from JackinWorld. Since I found this site, I've been so reassured and learned a lot about masturbation. Of course, I don't think your site was up when I first learned to masturbate.
- age 15, Maine
I learned about masturbation from other boys in school – from watching them simulate it by shaking their fists in a motion similar to masturbation. I didn't know any better, so I often tried to imitate them without much success. Successful masturbation finally occurred when I discovered the water jets at the pool, and the showerhead at home. I wish I'd had more information about masturbation, and also that I wasn't so afraid to ask my dad and other male relatives about such things.
- age 24, Iowa
I learned about masturbation from my brother when I was only 10. He made me masturbate him. I didn't know what it was then, but later when I tried it myself, I realized it is so good. I would prefer to have learned about it from a female friend or at this site.
- age 17, Mauritius
I started to masturbate when I was very young – only around 7 – but it had more to do with fantasies than with touching myself. I enjoyed the pleasures I felt in my body, but even when I got into puberty, I didn't really understand my body that much, and masturbation was still just fantasizing. It took actual experience with a guy to help me begin to figure things out. Even then, my clitoris was an unknown entity in sex; it was way too sensitive to touch. I never had an actual orgasm until I was around 16, even though by then I had been masturbating daily for years and having sex. If I could change how I learned, I would have my mother or an older female relative or friend explain it and provide me with a vibrator and instructions on how to please myself, before I went too far with a guy and learned things that way. I think I could have possibly avoided early sex with males if I had known how to please myself.
- age 26, Ontario, Canada (female)
I think I would have learned to masturbate earlier if I'd known about using hand lotion. Being circumcised made it pretty much impossible for me to masturbate without lubrication, and it didn't occur to me to ask someone else about it. I was 17 before I discovered masturbation by rubbing myself through my bed sheets. Even then, it took me a while to figure out how I could do it with my hands. I sometimes can't help but wonder how it would've been if I'd started doing this when I was 12 or so.
- age 21, California
When I was quite young, an older male neighbor would sometimes force me to masturbate him and perform other sexual favors. I think he stole my innocence, and for that matter, my childhood. I would have preferred to learn about it more normally.
- age 15, Florida
If I could change the way I learned, I would ask more questions of my cousin (5 years older) who introduced me to masturbation. One day I found him masturbating in the barn, and he explained to me what he was doing. I was about 10 and just sort of ignored it. However, I did watch him several more times. The expression on his face and his actions when he ejaculated should have made me more curious. When I did learn to do it, I realized it was something I liked and continued to enjoy throughout my life, even while my wife was living.
- age 55, Kentucky
I would have had my older sister teach me about it. I used to watch her do it to her boyfriend all the time when I was 12 and she was 16. I used to wish she would do that for me.
- age 17, Indiana
I probably would like to have learned from a guy a few years older than I was, by watching him do it first. But if that had happened, and I turned out to be gay (as I am), I would likely have "blamed" my orientation on the fact that I learned about sex from another guy. I wonder how many gay men who are unhappy with their sexuality "blame" it on an encounter they had early in life, when they actually would have turned out the same regardless of the early experience.
- age 34, California
because I wasn't going to stop."
I definitely would have wanted to know that a vibrator makes the sensation some 10 times greater! I think I started around age 12. By the time I was 14 I realized this vibrating pen thing was pure ecstasy when I pressed it up against my clitoris. To this day I can't have a "session" without my vibrating massager.
- age 18, Illinois (female)
When I first began to masturbate, I thought it was a sin. I would masturbate and then frantically pray for forgiveness. I would hold off for a week, and then it would happen again. When I found JackinWorld I learned that masturbation is a God-given gift. Given the chance, I would go back and learn the truth, then find your site sooner. Thank you JackinWorld – you have changed my life!
- age 15, Georgia
I learned about masturbation from a sex show on a cable network; they used only vibrators to attain orgasm. I started to use one at age 14, and now I can't reach orgasm any other way. I think I've desensitized myself for life.
- age 18, Tennessee (female)
I wish I could have learned from my brother or my dad instead of from JackinWorld – no offense.
- age 14, Texas
I wish I could have explored masturbation with an older girl or young woman. I would gladly have ignored most of the very unhelpful nonsense I heard from other boys. I was (and still am) mainly interested in letting my good female friends get to know me and satisfy their curiosity and desires. This is only fair, and it also usually meets my desires as well. I could have trusted my own inner feelings and gently looked for "I'll-show-you-mine" opportunities. I sensed that girls masturbate with fantasies that included this concept as well. Most guys said we were supposed to "conquer" women, but if I could have shared masturbating with a female when I was young, I would have known how far off base this is, which would have saved me much effort. And I would have known earlier how to respect the clitoris and bring a girl to orgasm instead of having to learn after marriage – imagine the difference in dating behavior that would have produced 35 years ago!
- age 51, Ohio
I would like my parents to have told me about it. Basically, I learned it all from the Internet, especially JackinWorld. I don't think my older brother masturbates at all.
- age 15, Canada
I wouldn't change the way I learned – a girl friend in college showed me while we were in a shower together.
- age 23, Oregon (female)
I learned about masturbation right here, and I got the best information and instructions available. No one else could have given me such good, tasteful information. Keep on strokin'!
- age 13, Illinois
I'd do away with my mother's constant ranting about how masturbation is a sin and that I'd burn in hell for doing it. That's more than any sexually naive young girl needs to hear. Thank God (no pun intended) for my older sister's "private" lessons. Not only did she teach me how to pleasure myself, but also that there was nothing at all sinful about doing it.
- age 39, California (female)
I learned how to masturbate by stroking my penis by myself. I guess if I had to do it all over again I would get my friend (who I masturbate with now) to help me. Then we could have learned together, and masturbated each other all of the time.
- age 16, Wisconsin
I did not understand the mechanics of masturbation until I was over 13 years old. I wish I had taken advantage of an opportunity to be taught by a friend of mine when we were on a scouting trip. He offered to show me how it is done, and I didn't say yes. I was hoping he would go ahead and show me, but he took my silence as a no. I regret that now.
- age 32, Canada
I'm happy with how I first learned. I was 12 and we used to live next door to a girl who would babysit for me. She showed me a basic fingering and rubbing technique on herself, and then she masturbated me a little to get me started. After that I got going on my own. She also gave me my first oral sex experience. I'm straight, but I think it took another girl to show me the ropes. Now that I think about it, her motives were probably more for her than me – but I thank her for it anyway.
- age 16, Colorado (female)
I wish my father had told me about self-pleasuring as frankly as JackinWorld does for thousands of teenagers. I wish he had told me masturbation is okay, that everybody does it, and those who say they don't are probably lying. It was discouraging to grow into adulthood thinking I was the only one who found self-stimulation pleasurable. This is a mistake I will not make with my own son. He will know of the joys his body will provide him, and there will always be an open door to his dad when it comes to his questions about male sexuality.
- age 31, Washington
If I could go back 2 years, I would not have started to masturbate in the first place. First, I feel guilty. Second, it now takes up a lot of my time. Third, I don't think it has benefited me in any way – it has just made me less pure. I think masturbation is a waste of my time. I don't even really enjoy it, and I feel miserable afterwards. Why the heck can't I stop masturbating?
- age 17, Nova Scotia, Canada
Yes – not that initial, accidental discovery of clitoral stimulation, but the later, more "advanced" discovery of using a dildo. When I discovered that using a dildo intensified my orgasms, I got "hooked" on it. Now I've gotten so used to that intense rush with the dildo that clitoral stimulation only isn't quite enough to get me off. It would have been better if I hadn't started using a dildo.
- age 19, Massachusetts (female)
I would not have learned about masturbation in front of my father in the changing rooms of a swimming pool. He told me to stop it and never explained what was so wrong.
- age 14, Scotland
I would definitely have started much sooner and included other people, rather than just doing it myself. It is a much more pleasurable experience with others, especially watching them have an orgasm that you caused them to have. I spent a summer on a farm with a boy my age (14) and his other farm buddies. I learned much more that summer than milking cows – which, by the way, gave me a much better "grip" on things!
- age 20, California
I wouldn't change a thing! I learned to "get off" while reading my mother's romance magazines as I sat in the livingroom chair, squeezing my legs together until that "wonderful feeling" sent waves through my entire being. At 11 I didn't know the technical term for it, but I most certainly knew it felt wonderful.
- age 39, Connecticut (female)
I wouldn't change a thing. I was a bright child and found out about sex by doing my own research in several books when I was only 6 years old. I made an experiment: "If my hand is the vagina, then my penis should go here..." and I discovered the great art of masturbation!
- age 21, Dominican Republic
I benefited extremely from exploring my own body. But then again, imagine a society where masturbation is taught in schools; imagine huge masturbation parties, political campaigns, and bumper stickers that say, "I'd rather being playing with myself than knocking up some chick." Destroy all forbidden fruit; teach your kids masturbation today. (well, not actually, because I wouldn't want to find out from my parents.)
- age 17, Ohio
I wouldn't change too much – perhaps less guilt and more access to pictures of penises. I learned to masturbate late at 17, but then I made up for lost time because I did it whenever I was alone. I decided masturbation had better be okay, because I wasn't going to stop. I'm sure I stretched my vaginal area some, and I accidentally saw a couple having intercourse, which fueled my fantasies and really focused my masturbating. I also let an earlier boyfriend masturbate in front of me when he didn't want to risk intercourse. This was all good preparation for the day I decided the time was right for intercourse. I still love to masturbate and revisit all of those moments of learning in my sweet fantasies
- age 38, Washington (female)
I would change nothing! I started when I was 7 and knew about sexual anatomy from the age of 6. I always felt superior to my friends, because they were all so naive and I knew everything! My parents were always very sexual, so they thought it was best to tell their son about everything at a very early age. I have always considered myself quite lucky! Now I masturbate every day (up to 4 times) and hold no secrets.
- age 13, Georgia
I wouldn't change the way I learned. When I was 12 and my brother was 15, we had to share a room. One day he taught me how to masturbate. From then on, we masturbated together until he went to college. I think it was awesome of him to teach me how to masturbate.
- age 17, Virginia
I wish I had been taught how to masturbate. Even today I don't masturbate – I just have frequent sex with my boyfriend. I'm sort of a nympho, but I don't cheat. Maybe if I had been taught how to masturbate, I would have had an orgasm by now. But I think that since I haven't had an orgasm, I have lower expectations in bed. So in a way I guess it's a good thing. You can't miss what you haven't had!
- age 16, Ontario, Canada (female)
I most definitely wish my dad had told me about "wet-dreams" and masturbation before I experienced them. I was 12 when I had my first orgasm. I was in the shower, and I thought I had harmed myself in some way – that maybe I had ruptured something. I was totally unprepared for the experience and sight of my ejaculate. It was quite frightening for me, and it didn't have to be.
- age 36, Texas
I learned about it from my friend, but not how girls do it. I didn't even know I had the "power" to do it as well. I missed out, because I didn't find out about female masturbation until 2 years later.
- age 15, Washington (female)
I am a self-taught masturbator, vaguely oriented by my dad who, fortunately, was quite open on the subject. (He admitted to me that he used to masturbate when he was young.) However, I would like to have learned about masturbation along with my closest friend in my teen days. Although we used to talk about it, we never dared to exchange tips on techniques and so on, in an explicit way. I did that later in life, but I had already become an expert by then.
- age 41, Argentina
I learned how to masturbate from JackinWorld and found it very helpful. My parents are divorced, and I did not want to talk about sex or masturbation with my mom, so I found this site. I surfed it and then lay back on my bed and pumped away. That night was so cool – I found a feeling I had never felt before. I loved it, and I haven't stopped since.
- age 16, Arizona