I grew up in the United States and I'd say that sex education is taken very seriously in the American public school system. However, the teaching emphasized deterring kids from having penetrative sex, while topics such as masturbation and orgasm were rarely discussed (the latter only in the context of ejaculation being vital for procreation). At age 13, we watched a cheesy educational film from the '80s called "Am I Normal?" about a boy undergoing puberty. The film was comical above all, but it did emphasize that masturbating is as normal as not masturbating. However, this was expressed exclusively from a male point-of-view; female masturbation was never addressed. The classes implied that female sexuality centers on menstruation and pregnancy. Because of this, it took me a few years to figure out that what I'd been doing in the shower since age 11 was actually masturbation, and that the intensely pleasurable feeling of release I'd been experiencing was actually orgasm! So while I agree that talking about STDs and safe sex is essential, I think maybe a little more could be said about the fun, enjoyable, and healthy aspects of sexuality – and, not just in regards to the male anatomy.
- age 19, United Kingdom (female)
This Week's Wackiest Response:
I had sex education but we didn't masturbate. The teacher wouldn't allow us to.
- age 16, California
Unfortunately, I never had much sex education in school. I was in special education and it was hardly taught. So, I never did ask about masturbation and other sexual issues. If they taught sex education to special education students back then, I would have learned about it a little sooner.
- age 30, Wisconsin
I'm going into 8th grade, and I have had sex education class three different years. In 4th grade, it was mostly about puberty. In 5th grade, it was more about puberty and some sexual crimes such as child molestation. In 6th grade, it was more about actually having sex, STDs and still a little about puberty. I remember masturbation being mentioned in 6th grade, and if I remember correctly, the teacher encouraged us to masturbate. That was before I masturbated. I hope they mention it next year, because I'm curious about what the teachers will say.
- age 13, Maine
It's interesting, now that I think about it. I was in junior high school, the prime age slot for sex education, around 1970, in Berkeley, California – about the most liberal city in the country. We certainly did have sex education, focusing mostly on the inner workings of reproduction and pregnancy, but also touching on some social issues. We even had a local gay man come in and talk about his life. He was received politely and respectfully. But I don't recall one word being spoken about masturbation. Maybe they thought we didn't need it; and since most of my friends and I had been masturbating at least once daily for several years, they may have had a point.
- age 46, Louisiana
Yes we do have sex education, but not anything about masturbation.
- age 13, Philippines
The only education I received about masturbation was from my father. He told me that it was better to have sex with a prostitute than to "waste my seed" through masturbation. I was about 14 when he told me this and knew even then that what he said was crazy. He traveled a lot; so I imagine it was his rationalization for having sex with prostitutes when he was away from my mother and possibly his own guilt for masturbating. Fortunately, my older brother had set me straight about the joys of masturbation long before I heard my father 's wacko theory.
- age 45, France
Our school was very open about discussing masturbation during a series of lessons on sex. The penultimate lesson was dedicated entirely to masturbation and included a short video film showing close-ups of both boys and girls masturbating in different ways and positions. It also showed what boys should expect to happen at the point of sexual climax. The emphasis was that masturbation is better than having underage sex. The only problem was that we saw the video when we were 12-13, and most of my friends and I already masturbated regularly and had ejaculated. The only effect it had on me was that I switched to using either my whole fist or all my fingertips instead of just using my forefinger and thumb.
- age 15, Iceland
I was born in 1940, and there was no sex education beyond what was taught about reproduction in biology. I learned from a neighborhood boy who was almost a year older, but in my grade. We had grown up together, often seen each other nude, and when I was twelve, he showed me how to masturbate. He said that he had learned it himself from rubbing his sheets.
- age 62, Alabama
When I was 13, my teacher of Catholicism once told us that it is perfectly normal to masturbate. It was an all-boy class and he said that it was even normal to experiment with each other – boys of the same age – just to reward your curiosity. He said it doesn't mean that you're gay when you have sex with another boy at that age. We all were a bit shocked by that, because we had never thought of those things.
- age 17, Belgium
In the 5th grade, they divided the girls and the boys and showed us a movie. It was all very scientific and certainly didn't mention masturbation. In 8th grade (1970), we had a very basic sex education class. I remember the male and female anatomies being shown and the basic idea of conception. I do not recall anything about masturbation being mentioned at all. Also, between grades seven and eight I went to a summer camp. My parents had to consent to the sex education they offered, but still, there was no mention of masturbation.
- age 45, Georgia
I just had sex education for the third time at school and they didn't mention anything about masturbation. They did show little baby boys getting their circumcisions though.
- age 15, Massachusetts
Masturbation, homosexuality, birth control, and condoms were never mentioned in our very basic sex education class. To me, that does not count as adequate sex education. I understand that even today, if a school wants federal funding, they must use the very restricted, prescribed curriculum that is based solely on the absurd, unrealistic, and impossible abstinence-only-until-married policy. Where do they get these ideas? How is that helping teens learn what they need to know? Thanks JackinWorld – you're making a very important contribution.
- age 24, Michigan
We were required to attend health classes in grade school and high school. Health classes were split up for boys and girls then. As girls we had the going-through-puberty films that were quite a few years old (black-and-white with actors who wore outdated clothing). There was no mention of masturbation in the films, nor was there any mention of it by the teachers in class.
- age 47, Maryland (female)
On my graduation from high school in 1938, I had received no information whatever in a classroom about sex. In that period, no one else had either, anywhere in the United States. No one admitted masturbating and anyone caught doing it was exposed and teased – by other masturbators of course. At age 14, two older boys, seniors, took me to the nearby city to "get bred." I was third in line for the young prostitute – after them. It was not a very good experience, but other boys my age envied me for it anyway. And of course, I didn't tell them that it didn't amount to much.
- age 81, Texas
In the 5th grade, we had sex education. Masturbation probably would have gone unmentioned if not for someone asking what masturbation meant. The explanation was, "...touching one's genitals to feel good." At the time, we thought that it sounded gross, but in my mind I thought, "Is that what it is called?"
- age 16, Florida
Yes we had sex education when I was in High School in the 1950s. Classes for girls and guys were held separately. Our Phys-Ed teacher was also our Health teacher. He explained the basics of the male anatomy as it applies to masturbation. For us it was no big deal, as most of us masturbated anyway. He didn't explain that females also masturbate.
- age 50, Canada
I just finished 8th grade. I've had sex education since 5th grade. Usually only two weeks are spent on it. The teacher never commented on masturbation, and I'm a curious kid, so I asked, "What is masturbation?" (As if I didn't do it everyday anyways.) She said she wouldn't talk about it in school, and I should discuss it with my parents.
- age 13, Maryland
The sex education teacher said absolutely nothing about masturbation – everything I had heard about it was from classmates, usually when they were accusing each other of doing it. If you were accused, then you were considered either desperate or gay. Lucky for me, my father mentioned it to me when he told me about sex – briefly and without describing any techniques, but he said that it feels good, all guys do it, it's normal, and that some day I will want a girl to do that to me (which would probably lead to sex at some point). I'm glad he told me about it; only in the last few years have I barely begun to enjoy my penis and not feel guilty or worried about being desperate or gay. I have been married for a few years and still include masturbation as part of my sexual life, thanks to JackinWorld. I wish you had been around when I was growing up. Now, masturbation has never been better, thanks to all those who have taken the time to write in – and, for the variety of topics and techniques discussed on this site.
- age 33, California
I went to a parochial all-boys' high school and I was amazed at how comprehensive sex education was there, at least for a Catholic school. During sex education, we discussed different sexual practices: S&M, bestiality, and yes, masturbation (if only very lightly). It was described as "sexually stimulating oneself." There was no moral judgment and also no need to describe how it worked, since most of us had already done it. Also, when we got to the physiology of the penis, the teacher joked that the coronal ridge on the glans is meant to "keep your hand from sliding off."
- age 19, California
The only thing available at our school was two or three lectures in the auditorium for 7th-grade boys. Clinical terms were used throughout, and no one explained the words' meaning. Few of us were willing to ask questions about anything we heard or saw. When one of my friends asking about "playing with himself," the room erupted into peels of laughter and derision. The speaker stammered and dismissed the question with something akin to, "It's bad for you; don't do it." So much for sex education in 1952... I thank the Creator for JackinWorld – it has helped not only today's adolescents, but also adults like me.
- age 62, Michigan
We had some sex education in school, but not much. I remember distinctly two occasions – once in the 5th grade (in Sweden, that's when you're eleven) and once more in the 8th grade. Both were only about one hour/lesson long. The first one consisted mostly of the teacher talking, probably reading from some lame material provided by the government about contraceptives and safe sex. We asked only a few questions. In the 8th grade we were separated by sex and told to write down any questions we might have on the subject, and then the teachers (one male and one female) would answer them. Anonymity was guaranteed, though my cover was blown, since mine was the only serious question.
- age 20, Sweden
When I was in school, sexual education was very poor in Brazil. In fact, I have had *one* sexual education class on school, but it focused almost solely on sexual intercourse and didn't touch the topic of masturbation. As a result, I knew nothing about the subject until one year ago, when I visited this very site and all my doubts were cleared. I don't know whether schools are giving more importance to sexual education, but I really hope so.
- age 17, Brazil
We had sex education in 5th grade, a male-only class. They talked about everything sexual – straight, gay, bi and lesbian. Nothing was held back. Male and female masturbation was talked about and we were shown a movie to teach us how to masturbate. The teachers said all types of sex are great but they also said being a virgin until we found a lifelong partner was best. They taught us about STD's, HIV and AIDS. While embarrassed by all of this at age 13, I learned it is okay to be gay. Today, I am a very happy gay male. I want to thank my teachers for a great education!
- age 27, Indiana
I had sex education three years of school in 5th, 6th, and 9th grade. Each year the information matured and was more detailed. 5th grade education was mostly about puberty and briefly about sex. 6th grade again was mostly based on puberty with some information on sex, STDs, etc. 9th grade was the most informational year; most of us had gone through puberty so that was no longer a major topic. We now discussed things like relationships, sex, oral sex, and yes, masturbation did come up. I go to a Catholic school though, so it was discussed as a sin.
- age 15, Minnesota (female)
My sex education was from my parents, way back in the '40s and '50s – on a farm, where we saw the animals reproducing. Of course, we asked questions and my parents answered them. No one in school ever had to teach sex education. We all had received it at home. Regarding masturbation, that was a discovered activity and in fact was also handed down from older boys to younger boys. I recall being told about masturbation by a classmate, and of course, I passed on this pleasant activity to my younger brother at the appropriate time. What a memory; thanks for the opportunity to share. I recall masturbation sessions on the farm with my brother and me.
- age 63, Georgia
When I was a freshman, we took a health class. We were taught different things about our bodies; however, we were never taught about masturbation or sex. I do recall my teacher saying that she felt it was important to discuss this, but the school had threatened that if she did, she would be fired. My school is very small – around six hundred students. The community in which we live is also very sheltered. I believe this is the reason why we could not learn about these important topics.
- age 17, Florida
I had sex education both in grade school and high school. In 6th grade, a pediatrician who had written a primer for kids about sex talked about what the relevant parts are called, what they look like, and what goes where when you want to make a baby. In 10th grade, we had a boys-only, one-week course called "health," taught by a clearly embarrassed phys-ed teacher, who covered the same ground, but was a little more explicit about topics such as erections and wet dreams. Neither the doctor nor the gym teacher touched at all on masturbation – a pretty taboo subject back then. The only instruction I ever had from a grown-up on the subject came from my dad when I was 15 and we had "The Talk." He said that it is nothing to worry about or be ashamed of; that it is perfectly natural; all boys do it; and even he did when he was off alone on his frequent business trips. He even gave me a few vague words about how you do it. Thanks, Pop, but I had already figured out that part by myself.
- age 59, Ohio
I had some sex education, but we talked only a bit about masturbation. The teacher said that it is quite normal, but here in Poland, older people think that masturbation is something sick and wrong. We have little tolerance here. Still, I don't care and I do it with pleasure. Greetings to people from Poland and to Poles all over the world!
- age 16, Poland
We got sex education at school, but just the basics – nothing about masturbation until this one time. It was after-lunch roll call – our form teacher said that a priest was going to come in and talk to us. When he did, he started talking about masturbation, saying that it wasn't wrong and that God gave us a penis for a reason, so we should use it. I thought that was pretty cool coming from a priest.
- age 21, United Kingdom
When I took sex education in middle school, I can't recall anything being said about masturbation. However when I took a health class in high school, the school nurse mentioned masturbation. She didn't go into any detail about it, and I can't say I really expected her to, but she did mention that it's natural and that most people do it. She also told us all the myths such as hairy palms and the like and told us not to believe them. I think she did a fine job on the subject.
- age 18, Texas
I had sex education from grade 4 to 9 at school. In the beginning it was mostly "My body's nobody's body but mine," but by grade six, masturbation was addressed. The teacher talked about nicknames for it, and how it is perfectly natural, but something people would do in the privacy of their homes. In high school gym class (I only took it in grade 9) we mostly talked about the hormonal balances in the body, and the inner workings of the "equipment." Luckily, I had open-minded teachers, and family.
- age 17, Canada
There was absolutely none! Not in junior high school or high school, and both were all-boy institutions. Nothing was said in any course in college, either; and that was coed. I learned about masturbation from a junior high school classmate who also sat in the back row with me and specialized in having a hole in his pocket through which he pulled his large and very erect penis daily. He sat across the aisle from me, and the boy who sat next to me cut a hole in his pocket so he could compete. I was too scared to join in, but enjoyed watching them as they played and talked about how good it felt. Then I went home and played by myself.
- age 63, Massachusetts
In Italy, sex education is not a subject as such; however, in many schools at certain times (mostly in third year of intermediate school and second year of high school – age 14 or 16) there are meetings with personnel from local consultories (support centers for young people), so that we can ask questions and learn more about sexuality. Informative leaflets are also distributed nationally to all the students in second- or third-year high school. The teachers do not participate in the meetings, but I remember that in intermediate school our maths and biology teacher did a few lessons about sex and sexuality, and also invited us to write our questions (anonymously) to her, so that she could answer them during the lesson. She, and the consultory personnel later on, encouraged us to be aware of all things related to sexuality – such as contraception, hygiene, and STDs, as well as the basic things. Masturbation was seldom mentioned, but regarded as nothing bad – indeed, healthy and perfectly normal. It is certainly a good idea to make us young people aware of all these things, though I would have enjoyed more thorough discussion, especially about masturbation.
- age 17, Italy
Once in about 9th grade, we listened to a report in health class that covered some of the mechanics of sex, but I never heard any adult mention anything about masturbation. I don't think I even heard the word until I was at least twenty. Until then, the only terms I knew were "beating off" or playing with yourself, but no one ever admitted to doing it. That's how it was in the early 60s where I lived.
- age 57, Ohio
I don't know if this counts, but I'm home schooled and have been since the 6th grade. My mom and dad are both college graduates; Dad works, Mom doesn't have to, and so she sees to my education. To answer the questions, Mom taught me almost everything I know about sex, including masturbation. We are good Catholics and masturbation is a sin according to the Catechism. But Mom said that masturbation is a normal, natural activity for teenage boys and perhaps the Church is a bit too strict on this.
- age 14, Florida
This question is quite interesting to me presently. I'm enrolled in a PhD program in health education. What I am currently trying to define is the lack of sexual education in schools today. I cannot wait to see your readers' responses! As for me, sex education in school was mostly defining the difference between the female and male anatomy. Masturbation was never discussed or anything else beyond abstinence. Teachers always looked embarrassed talking about anything related to sex.
- age 28, Ohio
At my school we have sex education. They taught us all about condoms, spermicides, and abstinence, but never once did they mention masturbation! We had a box for questions that we didn't want to ask in person, so I dropped a question in about masturbation and mentioned that if he didn't know the answer I bet that www.jackinworld.com would! He didn't read *that* one to the class.
- age 17, Iowa
The teacher told us exactly what masturbation is, and how common it is. He defined it as rubbing the foreskin backward and forward until you reach an orgasm. I can only be thankful for his honesty.
- age 18, Australia
Here is one main concept people forget: school is *all* about sex education! Okay, maybe it's not an integral part of the curriculum, but... Hello! Locker room talk, dances, parties, alcohol, prom night – seriously, what *isn't* sexual education? Education goes way beyond what one reads in a textbook, and we can all say that as men, we have learned a lot about masturbation in school. We joked about it with our buddies, practiced it either by ourselves, with a friend, or with a special girl. We all became enlightened during our school years.
- age 18, California
No, since in our society we are prohibited to talk anything about sex. So, there is no chance for any kind of sex education.
- age 16, India
Not until I got to college. Health class was a core requirement for all freshmen. My mother was head of health services for the college and she taught the three-day class on sex education (talk about embarrassing... she demonstrated how to put a condom on by using a cucumber, and other students joked with me for weeks about that one!) She said masturbation is a healthy release of sexual energy and recommended it strongly over pre-marital sex. Just after she said that, I raised my hand and said, "Can you recommend any techniques, Mom?" and got a good laugh from everyone.
- age 22, New York
I had sex education every year starting in 4th grade and ending in 9th. Masturbation came up twice in that whole time. On one of those occasions, I was the one that brought it up. In 5th grade, we watched a video in which a man said it was okay to masturbate and gave a very brief explanation that was partly correct: "Boys rub their penises and girls rub their breasts..." In 9th grade, our class was talking about safe contraceptives and ways to avoid having sex, as well as condoms, diaphragms, and religion. Towards the end of the conversation when no one had mentioned it, I asked, "Wouldn't masturbation be a safe alternative to sex?" It was funny because the room went completely silent for about ten seconds. Then the teacher said, "Yes... I guess you could say so." The subject never came up after that.
- age 16, Minnesota
Over the years, I have had three sex education units in school. The last one was the only one to deal with masturbation. The teacher said that it is better for young people to masturbate than either to let your sexual urges take control over you or to rush into having sex with another person. This was the first time I ever heard a sex education teacher recognize masturbation as a part of people's sexual lives, and her comment on it being the least risky form of sexual activity was right on.
- age 16, California
In 7th grade we were learning about sex. We were watching a video about puberty. It was talking about heterosexuality, homosexuality, growth, erections, *and* masturbation. It wasn't very long, but it said, basically, that masturbation is the giving of sexual pleasure to oneself, and that it is completely normal. After the video, the teacher told us again that it is completely normal. At the time, I thought that what I was doing was bad and weird. But ever since then, I haven't really thought that. I'm in 9th grade now, and very open about masturbation.
- age 15, Florida
At the beginning of 8th grade, we went to a sex-education-retreat-camp-thingy for four days. On the last night there, we had a "fishbowl," where all the girls got together and came up with three questions to ask the guys and the guys did the same for the girls. The girls asked the guys how often they masturbate; every guy there said that he did it at least once a day. The guys asked the girls how often they masturbate and only four girls said they had even tried to masturbate. The teachers just watched in silence because one of the rules of the fishbowl is that nobody smiles, laughs, or makes any kind of face that would make someone feel uncomfortable.
- age 14, Oregon
In 5th or 6th grade, we had sex education. It was pretty content-free, as I remember, but I do remember a lot of nervous laughter. The teacher mentioned masturbation, and that most boys do it, but didn't go into any more detail. More telling was the reaction of the other boys in the class. There were a lot of furtive looks and a few hand motions as they joked around, and that was enough to make me realize I wasn't the only one doing it, which had been a real concern to me. The real bombshell was when the teacher alluded to the fact that some boys did it together, either in pairs or in groups. He didn't go any further, but the glances I noticed between several of the boys convinced me that at least a few of them had done that, and I resolved to try to get my best friend to do it with me. I succeeded the next week, and we had a lot of fun together after that.
- age 55, West Virginia
Whenever the subject of masturbation came up, the teacher would tell us that he or she wasn't the right person to tell us, and that we should ask our parents. So basically, I learned about masturbation on my own. Then I found JackinWorld and I knew I wasn't doing anything wrong.
- age 15, Washington
When I was a kid, our town of 1200 had a Little League team comprising three age groups. There was the T-ball team; then there were the half-pints; or elementary-age boys; then the half-pints, or 6th through 8th graders. Unlike the two younger groups, the half-pints needed to have physicals before they could participate. So to avoid the hassle of obtaining records of these physicals independently, the coach would arrange a day where all the half-pint boys would hop into vans and go to a place called McMillen Center to get them done all at once. In addition to the actual physicals, McMillen Center also offered sex education as part of the process. I guess it was thought that the kids might never get the opportunity to hear the truth about sex. The Center's approach to sex education was to give kids an alternative in order to prevent unwanted pregnancy. The Center would show a video that illustrated simple mechanics of masturbation and that it was okay for kids to masturbate either alone or with their friends. As a result, many of the kids at that age who had never heard about masturbation started, and those that already were masturbating were told that it was okay for them to mess around with their friends. After a while, one could tell which kids had been to McMillen Center and those that hadn't. Those who had were the ones that started having noticeably more sleepovers than those who hadn't.
- age 34, Indiana
I'm home-schooled along with my cousin (male and same age) and older brother (one year older) by my grandmother, who is a retired high school English teacher. She told us the "facts of life" when we covered human biology two years ago, but she didn't say anything about masturbation. My cousin and I covered that one on our own in the basement three years ago (he said for me to follow him because he *had* to show me what he could do – he had had his first wet dream the night before) and we still have refresher courses weekly!
- age 16, Florida
In 1953 when I was 12 years old, I entered the 7th grade in junior high school in Oklahoma City, where I faced the specter of having to shower nude among my peers. I survived that with psyche intact, which prepared me for a six-week unit called Human Relations and taught by the boys' counselor. Besides the basics of growth and puberty, the unit covered matters of sex and dating at a superficial level. I remember two high points: a grainy, 16 mm, black-and-white film that gave me my first good look at female genitalia, and the counselor telling a story about a friend of his who had had part of his penis shot off in the Korean War, yet was still able to have normal sex and father children after he recovered. As I look back on it, I think everyone must have been as embarrassed as I was to interact genuinely. Still, for the times, I think that school was quite liberal and forward thinking. Masturbation was discussed, but again, rather superficially in terms of, "It's okay; many boys do it; just don't do it too much and don't feel guilty about it."
- age 61, New Jersey