Twilight years

My first interest in sex probably began when I was 7 or 8. At church we didn't have bathrooms in the building, so we had to go to a bathroom facility that was in the school yard in back of the church. Often I would meet up with a fellow (probably in his 20s or 30s) sitting outside the bathroom moving his hand up and down on his penis slowly, then rather rapidly. This interested me, but I had no idea what he was doing. In fact, I did not even know the word "penis." I came from a single-mother family with no siblings, and my mother was never into discussing sex. As I remember, nothing spouted out of his penis as I watched. This went on for some time and I was always interested, but the only thing it tempted me to do was urinate on the floor into the drain.

Later on when I was 9 or 10, in our school the urinal was one of those long sink types, so we had to stand next to each other with no partition as we urinated. I would try to sneak a peek at the guy next to me to get a look at his equipment. Our school was mostly Hispanics and I noted that their penises were different from mine. The skin seemed to come all the way to the front, whereas mine had a definite head to it. At that time, I had no idea what circumcision was, so I didn't know what to think. All I managed to believe was that Hispanics had a different type of penis from Anglos. Most of my friends were Hispanic, but I dared not ask them about the difference, since this was a no-no. As yet, I never saw one of them with an erection, nor did I ever get one.

One of my best friends, who was Hispanic, sat next to me in class in the 7th grade, and he seemed to be rubbing himself through his pants on a regular basis, and I would see the crotch of his pants start to grow. I still didn't know what he was doing — although I admit I did try it a few times, but nothing happened. Again, I was afraid to ask him what he was doing, even though we were good friends.

Later on in the 8th grade, a group of us were working in the school yard. There was a shed in the yard. I happened to look in the window and saw another of my friends lying on the couch and pulling up and down on his penis. I was still not totally aware of the proper word for this. When I asked him about it later on, he denied what he was doing.

At this time in my life, I started having "wet dreams" and I thought there was something wrong with me. I said nothing, but my mother certainly saw the stains on the sheets and on my pajamas, though she said nothing. At this time, the guys in school (9th grade) began talking openly about "jacking off" and I finally caught on to what was happening. I decided to try this "new" thing — at least new to me — so I went home, and since no one was there, I went into the bathroom and masturbated into the toilet. My first orgasm came, and it was terrific. In fact, it literally brought me to my knees with the trembling, etc. I was sort of scared at what happened, and then I felt guilty about what I'd done. I continued to have "wet dreams" from time to time, even though I regularly masturbated — usually into the toilet, until I got a bit older, and then I would ejaculate onto my chest. This went on several times a week with good, solid ejaculations. Since this was causing a mess, I began to ejaculate into a dirty sock. At this time (9th and 10th grade) I couldn't wait to get home so I could masturbate. Little did I know that all the guys were doing the same thing but wouldn't admit it.

It was some time into my adult life that I experimented with doing it with a partner. We would get a porno and watch it while we did ourselves with each other watching. At that time, I was shown how lube could help. We began to do each other from time to time — strictly front work, and nothing from the rear. We also slept together from time to time and fondled each other in bed, although we realized that we weren't getting any sleep and decided to sleep in separate beds.

As we grew older, we stopped doing this together. He got married, but I know he still masturbates, and I have to admit to doing the same.

Now comes the kicker. I'm 74 years old and I still enjoy it from time to time, though not nearly as often as in my younger days, which I look back upon with pleasure. Some years ago I had prostate surgery, so that was the end of ejaculations for me. Later on, I developed diabetes, and there went my erections. However, even without these, I can still reach orgasms, although it takes a lot longer and doesn't have the pleasure it had when the other things were working.

My word to all men: Enjoy the whole process when you're younger. If you can't talk with your parents for any reason — and this does not mean that they're bad — find another adult with whom you feel comfortable talking. Get them to explain the whole process, and also make sure they tell you there's nothing wrong with what you're doing and that it's a perfectly natural thing. Also, as you get older, even into the "twilight" years, realize there is still nothing wrong with masturbating, especially as a release of tension, not to mention a source of pleasure.

Finally, I wish that JackinWorld existed in one form or another (no Internet or TV at that time) when I was a youngster. It would have made things much easier growing up. I would also hope that the site include input from those of us in the older generation, as this would make it much easier for the younger generation to understand the entire process, from youth to old age, and to realize "everyone still does it" — even if on a lesser basis.