Private Dicks

I remember the first time I masturbated like it was yesterday. I was 12 years old; it was a Saturday in mid April. The night before, I had stubbed my toe, and I was lying on my parents' bed waiting for it to stop bleeding, when some church visitors came over and my parents had to go downstairs and visit with them. My parents had just purchased satellite TV, with all of the movie channels. I don't know if any of you remember it, but on HBO they used to do documentaries in a series called America Undercover; well, that night one of these specials happened to be on, called "Private Dicks." Basically, it was a fairly erotic documentary about men and their penises, and what it was like having one. Watching this show enlightened me to so much about the penis. I had not yet learned any of it myself (maybe I was a bit of a late bloomer), living with my parents, who at the time were very conservative and not very open about sex. So, this show enlightened me to other men (after all, most of the men being interviewed were naked!) and sex, and erections, ejaculation, and most important, masturbation. It was a great show, and I wish it still aired occasionally; I would love to relive that experience.

The next morning, I decided I was going to try to masturbate. I had a vague idea about it, but I was not completely sure, and I had never thought about it much. I also knew that I was very aroused thinking about these men talking about penises, completely naked. I started masturbating and realized that the skin on my hand and the skin on my penis were not very slippery, so I got some Vaseline Lip Therapy from my desk and put some on my penis. This wasn't the best lube; it was rather sticky, but I masturbated for over half an hour. That was kind of traumatic to my extremely virgin penis, but it did result in ejaculation. I don't remember the sensation of orgasm, but knowing that I was able to ejaculate was thrill enough for me. Later that day I went out shopping with my mom, and I went to the bathroom to pee and was a bit nervous that my penis was still swollen from masturbating that morning. But I didn't worry too much, especially since all of the men on that show the night before had very normal and even attractive penises. I assumed I would be all right, and that maybe masturbating just made it get bigger.

I didn't masturbate again for a few days, but when I did I appreciated that my semen did not have a strong odor. (I figured it wouldn't be as obvious to anyone what I was doing.) I had an orgasm that time, and semen seemed to get everywhere, and it was slightly annoying that it was tangled in my pubic hair. After the first few experiences, I decided to try other lubricants. In my bathroom were several suntan lotions; one in particular was a self-tanning lotion that felt very silky, slippery, and extremely fun to masturbate with. I didn't concern myself with the fact that it was self tanning, because it never seemed to work when I wanted to look tan. After weeks of using this, my penis didn't look any darker than usual — but my hands turned quite red, the way they do when you get embarrassed. (When a teacher of mine noticed and asked if I was all right, I was embarrassed — I immediately thought, Oh my god, she knows I masturbate with self-tanning lotion!) Looking back, she probably thought I had a test coming up or something. Either way, it seemed like a close call.

At this time in my life, pornography did not turn me on; rather it was quite a turn-off. Every kind of pornographic material I came across (online) looked disgusting or painful. After I looked up the word "masturbation," I found JackinWorld, and I have never been happier. I loved reading the responses to the Question of the Week, getting very turned on and going into the bathroom to masturbate. It was like going to the mall the first time — there was just so much to choose from and to read! I was almost overwhelmed, but I was happy that there was enough material for lots of masturbating.

Between reading JackinWorld and actually masturbating, I would visit various men's underwear Web sites. I began discovering my sexuality, and the fact that I was very much attracted to other males. I didn't quite understand it, but I realized that I never once fantasized about a girl, or even looked at sexy images of women. I was constantly thinking of other guys masturbating, when they did it, and what they liked. A friend of mine and I came close to having a mutual session; he had a bunch of porn on his computer — of women. I lost so much interest that I couldn't think of anything erotic at all. It's too bad, because it could have been a lot of fun at the time.

In my 5 years of masturbating, I have enjoyed masturbating daily, as well as waiting up to 10 days between sessions, to experience a fuller, more intense orgasm. I masturbate daily, using the "fist" method; I also enjoy using the "Rosy Palm" here and there, but I have never been able to orgasm using this method. Today, I enjoyed using the "Backhand," which I haven't done for a while; it seemed to make my penis more erect than usual, and it felt larger. That was a pleasant surprise.

Here's to 5 years of great masturbation, and to many, many more!