I'd been dancing

When did I start masturbating? The first time I ever tried it was when I was 15. Several weeks before I had my first session, I was about to take a shower, when I found some magazines in with all the towels. I at first thought they were my mother's women's magazines; I had often seen her put them there. How wrong I was! I took one out and opened it. I was presented with one of the top-shelf magazines for sale here in the U.K. Naturally, I had a good look through and noticed my penis to be erect (which wasn't unusual, because I'd been having lots of "wet dreams" at that age). I really wanted to masturbate, but I just didn't know how. So I put the magazine back how I found it and showered.

Of course, the magazine kept playing on my mind, and I couldn't stop myself from getting excited each time I thought about it. This happened for several weeks. Finally one evening I was about to take a shower, when I took out the magazines again. I sat down on the edge of the bath on a towel and opened up the magazine. I got an instant erection. I then began experimenting with my penis. I finally found out how to masturbate by using the "fist" grip and just gently rubbing it up and down. Just thinking about that first-time feeling makes me horny!

Nothing prepared me for the orgasm I had — it literally took over my body. But I didn't care; I carried on rubbing, and there was semen all over the place: down my arm, on the bath towels. What a sight. I had to clean it up and quick; then I showered and went to bed. Afterward I felt guilty about doing it, as if I had done something wrong, even though people with whom I went to school were always laughing and joking about it.

I still carried on masturbating, though — even though I always felt guilty afterward and I was always frightened of being "caught." That's why I used to do it either when nobody was around or when everybody at home was watching TV.

My parents used to work until early evenings, so I was able to come home from school and get right to it. I was at it at least once per day — twice, sometimes 5 times if I could. I'd even masturbate in the bath, which gave me the most intense feelings.

Now, at age 20, I realize that masturbating quickly isn't always the best way to do it. Since discovering JackinWorld I have realized that it's best to take your time and go with the feelings that go with masturbation. I enjoy it most lying on my back on my bed when nobody is at home. (Even though I know it's the most natural thing in the world, I'm still scared of being "caught" by someone.) I managed a two-hour session last summer — that was one of the best orgasms I'd ever had since I found out how to pleasure myself at age 15.

I don't really know what my parents' stand on masturbation is, although you can bet your life my father has done it, and probably still does. I mean, who did those magazines belong to? My mother? Well, I feel that she doesn't approve, just by the way she talks about it. But oh well, that's her problem, and she'll just have to deal with it.

Just last week I found myself in an embarrassing situation. I had just ejaculated over a porn film and was about to clean up when my sister, who doesn't have a key, rang the doorbell. There I was naked, covered in semen, and my sister banging to get in the door. I had to clean up pretty quickly, get dressed, and answer the door. I was looking really flushed, and when she asked me what I had been up to, I told I'd been dancing.

I like to masturbate at least once a day, but if I can't it's not the end of the world. I haven't masturbated for two days now, so I shall probably go have a good session before I go to bed.

I've always thought my penis to be small — I sometimes wish it were bigger — but I don't let it bother me much. It's part of me and it does its job; that's what matters, and it provides me with lots of pleasure. Someone once told me, "It's not the length, it's not the size, it's how many times you get it to rise." I think there's some truth in that. It doesn't matter how big or small your penis is; you can still get a girl pregnant. That's partly why I like masturbation: You don't have the worry of getting a girl pregnant, catching an STD, or passing one on. It really is a true form of safe sex.

On reflection, though, I don't regret the time I have spent over the years masturbating. It will hopefully be of some use to me in years to come when I am in a sexually active relationship. I would also like to thank the creators of JackinWorld for producing a great site — it has helped to make masturbation more pleasurable for me.